Chapter 23
Sameer.” I breathed a satisfied whisper as he held me in his arms.
“I’ve waited years to hear you say my name like that,” he whispered back.
I opened my eyes and looked at him. “Something’s wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m naked. You’re not.”
He closed his eyes and laughed. “We can fix that, can’t we?”
I mounted him and pushed his t-shirt up, inch by inch, licking the soft hair on his stomach. My breath rattled as I unveiled his magnificent body. With every touch, I went further up, unwrapping him slowly like a prized treasure. When I pushed the t-shirt to his neck, he lifted himself halfway, pulled it off, and tossed it away. The heat from his naked torso hit me hard, making me ravenous. The fine, light-colored hair on his chest was sexier than I remembered. I went down his body, kissing, licking, nipping, as he let out soft sighs. When I undid the jeans, he lifted his hips, and I slid the pants and underpants off him. My heart vaulted when I wrapped my hand around him and stroked.
He groaned helplessly but raised himself up on his elbows. “No,” he said, coaxing me back to the rug. “Today is all about you, Tara.” He straddled me and caught me between his thighs.
I frowned. “What if that’s what I want?”
“Not today. Remember what I said?” He held my arms at my side and bit into the soft flesh spilling out of my bra. I moaned as he sucked and kissed the bite. While his teeth gripped the delicate skin again, my mind scrambled to recall that quote about sex and power.
“Oscar Wilde,” he said, and flicked my taut nipple through the lacy material.
I groaned. “What?”
He rolled his tongue over my nipple and sucked hard. “‘Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.’ Oscar Wilde.”
“How…” I gasped aloud before I could complete the thought because he had my other nipple clamped tight between his teeth. I fought hard to breathe, to think.
“I saw it in your eyes. We’ve had this conversation before,” he said, then dragged his slippery tongue down to my navel, setting fire to all my nerve endings.
“I don’t buy it.” I managed to gather my wits and struggled to free my arms, but he was stronger.
“Which part?” He bit into the curve of my waist, then licked it.
I grabbed his hair in my fists and tugged. The sweet brutality of his tongue and teeth, the bristly stubble rubbing into my skin, drove me breathless. But this wasn’t a conversation, it was a competition. And I couldn’t lose. “Sounds like… something… Foucault would say…” I managed.
He got off my legs and flipped me over.
“…or Freud,” I added as he nibbled at my shoulder and my head rose up in response. This was in my wheelhouse. I couldn’t let him win.
“Hmm…” He flicked open the hooks on my bra, and the delicate lace retracted without fight. His tongue zigzagged down my spine to my buttocks, with wet kisses peppered along the way.
“…or Catherine MacKinnon….” I stole a quick, jagged breath as his tongue rolled over my buttocks.
“Are you bothered by the fact that the quote might be wrongly attributed to Wilde…or that the quote itself is false?” He bit into my fleshy bottom as promised, and my head rose up again.
But I was too consumed with what he was doing to my body to respond to how he was messing with my mind. I surrendered to my body. “Do it again.”
He went down my legs, tormenting me with his mischievous tongue, the brusque caress of his stubble, and the light tease of his fingers. He bent my leg at the knee and kissed my feet. Pushing my legs apart, he began his journey back up. Kisses, nibbles, tickles, right up to my buttocks. Only this time, I was exposed. He dipped his finger in and dragged it to my bottom. Twice. My hips flexed. With a wet finger teasing my bottom, he dug his teeth into my buttocks again. Delicately at first, then with increasing pressure until I yelped in pain. He withdrew inside the threshold and bit me wild. Then he rolled me over and grabbed my unconfined breasts in his hands. With a teasing gaze trained on me, he brought his hungry mouth onto them, and the sensations traveled down to my already slick core.
“The quote is wrong,” he said when he returned to kiss my mouth.
“I don’t care anymore. It’s my turn. You know what I want.” I held him down and climbed onto him.
He gave me his most flirty smile, the one he used on women he said were hard to get.
“It’s not going to work on me.” I grinned.
“Okay then, sex is not about power. Sex is power. As are pleasure and the erotic.” He pushed his hand into my hair and grabbed it in his fist. He knew my weaknesses, and his disarming smile was not one of them.
“Audre Lorde?” My back arched, and I moaned. “And semantics? You’re full of surprises, Sameer Rehani.” I let him take me through a rough, wild rollercoaster of a kiss. “Fuck me, Sameer,” I whispered, writhing on top of him.
He gathered me in his arms, rolled over, and lifted me off the rug. He wanted to carry me to the bedroom, but I was too tall and heavy, so we kissed instead. After pretending to drop me on the bed, he pulled out a fancy condom packet from his nightstand, rolled it down with incredible speed, and entered me with a familiarity that felt both weird and reassuring. I moaned, and my back curved up.
Holding my hands above me, he settled into a pulse, his eyes set on my face. “You’re so beautiful, Tara. I’ve missed holding your body against mine.”
I savored his weight on me, moving with him, submitting to his rhythm. His striking features and the adoration in his eyes rendered me helpless. Those gorgeous light brown eyes that perfectly complemented his deep brown lashes and light skin.
Heat coursed through my body as I kept staring into his beautiful face. “Go deeper.”
He growled. “Want to ride me?”
I nodded and pulled him into a kiss before he rolled over. I climbed onto him, setting my own pace, feeling him deeper inside me. His hands covered my breasts, and I felt myself dripping on him. He felt it too.
“God, Tara, you’re so hot,” he said, and thrust up to meet me, pushing harder, going deeper.
His hands worshipped my breasts, pressing, kneading, and bouncing with me as I rode faster. But when I felt the heat in my face, I slowed down and bit my lip in fear of the approaching torrent.
“Don’t stop. Don’t hold back,” he said, lifting his head to look at me. “Let me feel it, baby.”
My eyes pinched shut as I grazed against him. In seconds, my insides clenched tight around his thickness, and I heard him groan. My toes curled behind me, and my thighs squeezed around his hips. But I made no sound. I didn’t want to expel the power of my orgasm just yet. Keeping his grip firm and steady on my breasts, he pumped hard. When I was finally ready to scream, ready for it to end, all I could manage was a whimper. A soft whine of complete satisfaction.
Happy and spent, I collapsed onto his chest, inhaling his scent before taking him to his peak. I remembered what he liked as if we had never been apart. When I felt him pulsate, I bent over and bit hard into his shoulder. The loud groan that emanated from his chest traveled to my stomach, and I trembled as he erupted inside me.
I slid down beside him, panting hard. “That was incredible, Tara. Just…incredible,” he said, and a gush of pride and joy surged through my body.
He kissed my cheek and rolled me over to hold me from behind, our naked bodies flush like two matching pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
While our bodies cooled, he flung his hand idly over me, strumming my nipple.
“What happens now?” I asked, extending my hand to his thigh.
“Now I have you and I don’t care what happens to me.”
I turned over to face him. “How bad are we talking?”
He exhaled against my forehead before planting a firm kiss. “Nothing compared to how happy you make me, Tara.”
He leaned in for another kiss. “You know, Amar led me to believe you both got together after I left. And I thought, it’s alright. I can never be cross with either of you.”
“What?” My knees pulled into my stomach as I burst into a fit of laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
I touched his cheek. “You’re such a silly, insecure man.”
“Hey!” He frowned with indignation.
“Amar is my friend. He’s been my friend since before I knew you, and that has never changed. Why would you think that about us?”
“I asked him, and he didn’t deny it.”
I smiled and moved my hand to his heart. “Sameer, if we’re together again, we need to trust each other. You let your insecurity ruin every close relationship in your life. You have to let it go. You can’t let it ruin our relationship—any relationship—anymore. Do you understand?”
He nodded.
“That’s the reason it was so easy to fool you when I came to the party with Mihir. You assume I’m too good for you, that I deserve someone better. Someone kinder like Amar, more successful like Sujit, or an alpha like Mihir. That I would easily fall for any of them over you.”
His eyes widened, and he held my hands tight as my words sank in.
“But I want you. It’s how you make me feel. We’re all messed up in our own way, Sameer. The idea of perfection has never appealed to me. Perfect is an illusion, a ruse to hide imperfections. Believing in the beauty of the imperfect is how I learned to love myself. How I came to love you. The imperfect is beautiful because it is real. However flawed you think you are, I chose you all those years ago, and I choose you today. I will always choose you, and you need to trust that.”
“And I deserve you.” He blinked with sincerity. “I hesitated to contact you all these years because I was convinced I didn’t. But I do.”
“Yes, you do.” I cupped his face. “You deserve me just as much as I deserve you. You’re a good man. I need you to trust me on that too.
“I trust you. I trust you with everything I have.”
“Including Love and Loss?” I asked, borrowing his cheeky grin.
“Except that.” His voice immediately turned from soft to commanding. “That’s mine, Ms. Kadam, as we’ve already established.” And I burst out laughing again.
He pulled me over his body and kissed me hard. I looked into his eyes and ran a finger over my bitemarks on his shoulder. “You always made me feel good, Tara, only now you also know how to fuck me hard.”
I grimaced as he grinned and enveloped me in his arms.
When we finally exited the bedroom, the hot sun had mellowed into an evening breeze. We retreated to the balcony with coffee, then ordered Chinese. The setting sun cast a soft glow on Sameer’s handsome face, and I was instantly reminded of Sujit. I sucked in a ragged breath as I felt myself coming back down to earth.
“I need to talk to Sujit,” I said while we waited for the food to arrive.
“It won’t be easy breaking it to Aarti.”
“She loves you, you know.”
“Tara, if you want me to end it before her party on Saturday, I’ll do it. Whatever decisions we make from here on out, we’ll make together. Do you want me to?”
“No,” I said in a hushed voice. “I don’t want to be unkind either, Sameer.”
He nodded, and his gaze traveled to the city behind me.
“She invited me too, but I’ll tell her something’s come up. I can’t imagine going to her party, drinking her wine, and eating her food after having slept with her boyfriend.” I pulled my hands over my face. “Am I a horrible person, Sameer?”
“Neither of us expected this to happen today, but I’ve waited for it too long to let myself be bogged down in guilt and shame. I only want to feel happiness now. And you give me that.”
I lifted my head to look at his face, happy and relaxed. I wanted it for him, and I wanted it for me, too. I held my hand out to him, and he grabbed it to pull me onto his lap. “I’m going to let you in on something, but you can’t laugh.”
“You know I will when you ask me not to,” I said, and he gripped my earlobe between his teeth.
“I’m going to dance with Aarti at the party. But it’s not just us. It’s this whole choreographed thing with her parents and us, and her brother and his wife, and her parents.”
“I see. You don’t have a problem wiggling your hips for her, but you pout when I ask you to do it!”
“There’s no hip-wiggling, I promise,” he said, placing a kiss on my cheek. “I just want to get it over with, so I can finally talk to Aarti.”
“Are you going to tell her about us, about today?”
“I’m not sure. I was going to end it anyway, so why put her through more hurt?”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure what the right course of action was either. It wasn’t like we had extensive experience cheating on our partners.
I tapped his chest and got off. “I’ll have a quick shower before the food gets here.”
I left the room feeling a heaviness settle around my shoulders.