CHAPTER 19
Nash
The hospital door clicked shut behind us, and I followed Catherine as she led us down the hall to a small sitting area.
My hands remained in my pockets as I felt the gaze of the office staff following me. This was the first time I’d emerged from the room, but I hadn’t missed the whispering at the door all night. I’m sure our little animal circus was entertaining.
Reaching a set of chairs, she gestured for me to sit. I sat, knees spread as I leaned forward and scrubbed my hands over my face. I was exhausted.
The little woman took a deep breath before talking. “I’ve heard all about you, young man.”
I tried to sit up, though my muscles protested, trying my best to be polite.
“All good things, I promise.” She squeezed my knee. “Thank you for offering to take Sybil in. It’s very kind of you.”
“I assure you,” I hurried to establish my merit, “my sister and I can give her space, whatever she needs.”
She put her hand up to silence me, allowing me to relax back in my chair.
“Sybil is not your average woman, as you may have noticed,” she said frankly.
I nodded.
“She’s been through a lot—parents can really set the tone for your life, good or bad. Hers were more of the latter, unfortunately.”
I nodded again.
“Sybil has been my patient since she was around fifteen years old. I am a clinical psychologist and therapist, and her parents hired me to “handle” her, as they put it. Not long after, her parents died in an accident. Where I was already caring for her emotional wellbeing, it was a simple decision for me to take her in and become her guardian. She’s relied on me since.
” A sigh escaped her as she gazed at her hands, at rest in her lap.
I didn’t interrupt, knowing there was more.
“I’m embarrassed to say my affection for Sybil has hindered my performance regarding her issues. I was likely too lenient. Her anxiety had many aspects to address before her withdrawal. I’m concerned I’ve unintentionally enabled her social anxiety for quite some time.”
I nodded.
She straightened her posture slightly.
“Having you and your sister is going to be very new for her, but it’s a near-perfect situation we’ve found ourselves in—despite the extreme circumstances.
Her comfort zone is about to shift dramatically, and I want to take advantage of it.
I know this is a lot, but would you be willing to assist her with this challenge? ”
She was looking me in the eye. Her eyes glimmered with hope. She already knew my answer.
There was a long silence, and I realized she was giving me the room to speak.
“My mother. She—” I trailed off, unable to suppress the emotion on my face, but I motioned in agreement to her challenge.
Maybe it was the night’s events catching up to me, or the familiarity of being at a hospital, but my chest was tight with painful memories. I didn’t enjoy feeling this way, and I tried to press it down.
Catherine tilted her head and smiled. “So you understand.”
I looked down into my lap, grateful she could see it on my face.
“People often wear empathy like a badge of honor. Only those who have taken up the gauntlet can truly understand.” She patted my knee.
She was right. My personal experience with life’s challenges and triumphs taught me a lot about emotional depth. I was sure it showed.
“I knew your mother. The psychologist who treated her was a colleague of mine—though Sybil doesn’t know that.” She chuckled. “I don’t want her to think I’m meddling again.”
I sat up a little straighter. “You knew my mother?”
“I did.” She was beaming, looking so proud to be sharing that.
“New York may be big, but our world can be small sometimes. When I first took on Sybil as a young teen, I consulted your mother’s therapist for help.
I sat in on a few sessions with your mom before she fell ill.
Hearing her story and knowing it now—she and Sybil are a lot alike. ”
“I noticed.” I was on the verge of tears, but laughing too. Swiping at my eyes, I tried to hide it.
“Cases like theirs can be tricky and take a long time to resolve, especially when they’re content in their small world as Sybil and your mother are and were.”
She paused, her gaze sweeping over the beige, vinyl-seated chairs of the waiting room, the fluorescent lights buzzing overhead.
“Sybil’s home base is gone now, and she’ll need to find a new place to hide. I would rather she not isolate herself again. It’s for that reason I’d love to have you take her in. Not to overstep, but I believe it’ll be good for everyone, not just Sybil.” She winked at me.
I nodded, a grin now on my face.
Catherine stood and gestured for me to stand as well. Spreading her arms, she invited me to give her a hug.
Leaning over her, I gently hugged her slight frame.
She whispered in my ear. “She needs a friend, and I believe you and your sister will be perfect.”
I let her go. “Thank you.”
She patted my arm. “Now. Let’s get everyone out of here. You all stink, especially that dog.”
I chuckled and took her arm in mine as we made our way back to the room.
???
In the town car on the way back to my house several hours later, Sybil sat curled into herself in a hospital-issued set of sweatpants and a large t-shirt. Bill sat between us in the back seat, panting and looking out the front windshield.
I kept stealing glances her way, still stunned that she was here and coming home with me. At last, I could try to make her laugh in person, though I worried it might be an uphill battle after last night. It was a lot to overcome, but I was ready to help her.
Her hair was still in the braid the nurse had put it in at the hospital. It frayed here and there and was tucked behind her. Loose strands fell in front and around her face, hiding her eyes.
I could see that she found it hard to be at ease.
“I’m sorry this happened to you,” I broke the silence.
She was biting her nails but stopped.
“You don’t have to respond. I know talking is difficult and all this is probably scary.”
She picked up her phone and started tapping the screen. My phone dinged. I looked down with a smile.
Sybil: Thank you.
Me: It was nothing. I guess the universe just wanted us to drink coffee together. Hell of a way to make it happen ??.
A smile struggled to appear on her face as she read my reply.
Sybil: Don’t mention coffee right now, I’m dying for one ??????
Me: Why didn’t you say so?
“Frederick, can we make a stop at Starbucks?” I leaned forward, speaking to my driver.
Frederick gave me a nod and a wink in the rear-view mirror to confirm.
Looking back at Sybil, there was now a genuine smile on her lips, her gaze cast down into her lap with her hands and arms burrowed between her knees. A glow reached her cheeks.
A few blocks further, Frederick stopped at the curb and I got out. I let Sybil know I’d be right back, gesturing with a pointer finger that it’d only be a minute.
I placed my order, waited, collected it, and then returned to the car. Tucking back inside, I passed Sybil the vanilla latte over Bill’s back before presenting Bill with a Pup Cup.
Sybil stifled a laugh when he dove into it, whipped cream covering his nose and face. Her hand covered the curve of her shy smile. And there it was—I’d already achieved an impossible giggle.
“What is that?” Her voice was rough and quiet, but cheerful; I almost didn’t hear it.
“It’s a Pup Cup. You’ve never heard of it?” I was holding up the demolished cup. I placed it in the trash bag in the back seat before wiping my hands with some napkins, and wiping Bill’s face, too. He needed a bath anyway.
She shook her head, sipping her latte. I heard a small, satisfied moan escape her mouth. I couldn’t help but squirm a little at the sound, memorizing it. Her actions amplified everything, and every new sound rippled with pleasure down my spine.
The rest of the ride was quiet after that.
Pulling onto our street, I saw her eyes wander out my side of the car to her house. While still mostly there, it also wasn’t. The gaping void of the upper floors offered a silent testament to the fire’s fury.
Desolation and loss struck me, a palpable weight of destruction. My heart hurt on Sybil’s behalf. Yellow tape closed off the sidewalk, crews already working to free the rest of the debris.
She said nothing, her eyes taking it in. The driver did a U-turn at the end of our block, pulling onto my side of the street. Sybil’s stare was now focused out her window, still on her house.
“I’m sure you’ll be able to recover anything that wasn’t broken at some point,” I offered.
She sighed but didn’t respond.
I took up Bill’s leash and led him out my side of the town car, wrapping the hoop around my wrist to free my hands. Turning back, Sybil was already there, climbing out herself with a death grip on her latte.
She rose to her full height, barely halfway up my chest. I offered her a hand. For a long moment she scrutinized it before conceding and placing her latte-free hand in mine. She wobbled. My other hand grasped her hip.
Her body tensed, and I let go of her waist, but held tight to her hand. I wanted to show her I wouldn’t give up so easily. Leading her to the front door with Bill in tow, we walked up the stoop, taking slow steps.
The door swung open, and Bee was there, beaming like a dog welcoming us home. I’d warned her of our arrival, hoping she’d dial it back. She didn’t. Bill quickly matched her energy.
Bee welcomed us with her hands, taking Bill’s leash as he jumped at her, trying to kiss her face. “Yay! You’re here!” she sang. “I set up the room on this floor, Nash. I didn’t figure she’d be too excited about any upper floors just yet. Plus the shower in there is the best.”
“Thanks, Bee.” I gave her a grateful smile.
Leading Sybil down the hall, I didn’t give her the option of letting go of my hand. I could tell she was unsure of that, but my firm grasp conveyed my fortitude and support.
Entering the room, I analyzed her perusal of it, hoping she’d approve. I was eager for her to like it.
It was a large room, designed as a main floor master with its own private bathroom and walk-in closet. There was a large window facing the back, looking out onto our deck and garden below. Just outside her bedroom was access to this space—perfect for Bill.
She’d have plenty of room here to hide, but not so much room she’d never surface.
Bee walked in behind us and toward the bathroom with Bill. “I’m going to see if I can get Bill cleaned up.”
A long, tortuous yowl snaked out from under the bed.
I looked at Sybil, seeing her eyes light with the familiarity of it.
This time, when she pulled on my hand, I let it slide from mine.
She knelt on the floor. Murmuring quietly, the cat under the bed seemed to respond with a series of chatters and softer mews.
Bee’s voice came from the bathroom over the sound of spraying water.
“I got a variety of comfy clothes and stuffed them in the closet for you, Sybil! Once you shower, you’ll be all set.
I got a bunch of soap and other things, too.
I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I just sorta went crazy with it. ” She laughed, then yelped.
Bill was probably making a mess of her.
Sybil had rolled to her side on the floor, braid trailing behind her with one arm under the bed. It looked like she’d reached her cat, petting him. She seemed relaxed, more than she had been since waking up in the hospital. I knew we needed to give her some space, but I didn’t want to.
The hairdryer whirred to life in the bathroom.
It lasted several loud minutes. When it shut off, a fluffy black and white bullet shot back into the room, jumping onto the bed and back down before sniffing around.
Having a dog around was going to take getting used to, but I liked how full our house felt with his radiant presence.
Bee emerged, looking like she’d unintentionally showered in her clothes. “Come on, Nash. Let’s go get cleaned up and make some food while Sybil showers.” She took my arm.
I dragged my feet. I really didn’t want to go.
Sybil’s crystal blue eyes found mine as I glanced back at her on the floor. I’m sure I looked like a sad puppy leaving a play date. She looked beautiful there, a sight that went straight to my gut.
Fuck, this was getting painful.
I was desperate to touch her, to possess her, but more than that, I wanted to know her more than I already did. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. I knew I’d always want her.
My hands itched to hoist her up off the floor, drape her over my shoulder and march her up to my room to tuck her away. I clenched them into fists to quell the desire as I left the room, Bee closing the door behind me.