65. Xül #2
"No." I set the glass down. "You've dictated. I've endured. There's a difference."
"Is there?" He took a measured sip of his drink. "Both end with you doing what's necessary."
“I won’t.”
“I’ve grown tired of your insolence,” he murmured. “You know the contracts have already been drawn up.”
"I love someone else."
The words hung in the air between us, shocking in their simplicity. I'd never said anything like that to him before, never given voice to what had been growing in my chest like wildfire.
"Love." He made the word sound like a child's fantasy, something to be outgrown with age and wisdom. "You think love matters when we have the fate of the realm resting on our shoulders? When everything we've worked for—everything we've sacrificed—depends on the alliances we forge?"
"I know what we need," I said, my voice hardening.
"Better than anyone. I've played your games, attended your meetings, smiled at your allies while knowing they'd put a knife in our backs given half a chance.
But the person I love deserves more than being relegated to shadows while I play politics with my life. "
"Your life belongs to more than just yourself." He set down his glass with enough force to crack the table. "You are my heir. Every choice you make ripples through the realm."
"Would you have made mother your mistress?" The question cracked between us like a whip. "If duty had bound you to someone else? If your precious alliances had demanded you take another as your wife?"
His eyes flashed dangerously, power crackling beneath his skin. "Times were vastly different when I met your mother. The realm was stable. We had the luxury of choice."
"Did you? Or did you simply take what you wanted, consequences be damned? "
He was on his feet in an instant, shadows writhing around him. "Be very careful how you speak to me, son."
"I’ve shown you the utmost respect." I met his fury without flinching. "I will not sacrifice her happiness, or mine."
“The nuptial contract only covers a thousand years. You can simply negotiate to renew or end it when that time comes. You haven’t lived long enough yet to understand how quickly time will come to pass.”
“A thousand years?—”
Pain erupted through my side—bones splintering, cracking, the wet snap of ribs giving way. My hand flew to my chest, fingers searching for the cave of crushed bone that should have been there.
Nothing. Solid. Whole.
I doubled over, my ribs screaming in sympathy even as they remained intact. It painted itself across my nerves—every break, every splinter, every impossible angle bones should never make.
"Xül?" The anger vanished from my father's voice, replaced by immediate concern. He was beside me in an instant, supporting my weight as my knees threatened to buckle. "What's wrong?"
I couldn't answer. The pain intensified. But underneath it, threaded through the agony like a golden wire, I felt her. Thais. Her terror, her desperation, her?—
"She needs help." The words scraped raw from my throat as I straightened, already moving toward the door. "Now."
“Who?”
“Thais.” I stumbled through the doorway.
"How could you possibly know that?" He followed as I broke into a run, all pretense of dignity abandoned. "Xül, answer me."
The ancient words pulsed through my mind with each heartbeat.
Sel dravira en ti. Niv valen, niv asra, niv loyeth. El atanen en ti. Vah serané.
She wasn't in Sundralis's main palace where I'd left her. No. She was somewhere else—somewhere that tasted of rot and corruption.
We reached the main portal chamber, and I began tearing at reality itself, pushing power into the space between worlds with desperate force.
The portal showed me glimpses—ancient stone, darkness, the taste of corruption—but it wouldn't stabilize. Wouldn't lock onto her location. I tried again, adjusting the parameters, but the image kept shifting, sliding away like oil on water.
"Why can't I find her?" I snarled, pouring more power into the attempt.
"Xül." My father's voice cut through my concentration, deadly quiet. "What have you done?"
I stopped, turning to face him in the empty chamber. His expression had shifted from concern to dawning realization, and the fury building behind his eyes made his earlier anger seem like a gentle breeze before a hurricane.
I bind myself to you. My life. My soul. My Loyalty. Forevermore. I’m yours.
"The Sev'anarath," I growled out.
The temperature plummeted until our breath misted in the air.
"You bound your soul to her?" Each word was clipped.
"Yes."
“And she to you?”
“No.”
"What were you thinking?" The words came out soft, which was infinitely more terrifying than if he'd shouted. "What possible logic led you to believe this was acceptable?"
"I’ve already explained myself to you."
"You weren't thinking at all." His control never slipped, but I could see the effort it cost him.
Veins of shadow pulsed beneath his skin.
"Even if you refused Nyvora, even if you defied every expectation and threw away every alliance—this?
You've done something that can never be undone, never repeated.
A union deeper than marriage, more binding than any contract. "
"I know what I've done."
He stepped closer, and I felt the weight of his power pressing against me. "Do you truly understand what this could cost us? How carefully I've cultivated the alliance with Davina's domain? Your marriage to Nyvora is the cornerstone of our entire political strategy. Without it?—"
"My soul was never part of that bargain," I growled, drawing on every ounce of strength I possessed. "It's mine to give, and I've given it to Thais."
"A woman you barely know."
"She declared herself to Sundralis. For you—to help her brother further your endless ambitions," I spat, feeling another spike of pain through the bond. "If you think for one second that I wasn’t going to find a way to protect her there, you’re delusional. Not when she’s forced to get close to that monster for your cause. "
“ Our cause,” he corrected, staring at me as if seeing a stranger. "You sound like a lovestruck fool."
"Perhaps I am." I ground out through the splitting ache in my side. "But I'm a fool who chose his own fate rather than having it chosen for him."
"And what of the consequences? You'll feel everything she feels now. Her pain, her joy, her fear. If she dies?—"
"Then my soul will follow." The words came out steady, certain. "That's what the binding means, Father. I know the price."
“You’ll be a shell of a man.”
“And much easier for you to bend to your will, then too, I suppose.”
He grabbed my arm, fingers digging deep enough to bruise. "Does Thais know?"
"No."
"You will never speak of this to anyone. Not to Nyvora, not to Davina, not to a single soul. Do you understand me?"
"I never planned to tell anyone."
"Good. Keep it that way." His grip tightened to the point of pain. "If our enemies learn of this—if they realize they can destroy you by destroying her?— "
"They won't." I yanked free, already turning back to the portal. "Because I won't let anything happen to her."
"You arrogant child." The words chased me as I resumed tearing at reality. "You think your power is enough to protect her from the forces we're moving against?"
"I'll do what I must." The portal finally stabilized, showing glimpses of ancient stone and darkness. Through the bond, I felt Thais's fear spike into terror. "But right now she's in danger, and I can feel?—"
Another wave of pain, sharper this time. But underneath it, threaded through her fear, was desperate worry. Not for herself.
"She's worried for Thatcher."
Interest flickered across my father's features at the mention of the other Morvaren twin. Of course—his newest blood-sworn. Vivros incarnate.
The irritation that flashed through me was petty but undeniable. Even now, even in this moment, he was calculating political advantages.
"Where?"
"Some kind of structure," I said, studying the images the portal showed. "Beyond the Primordial ruins."
"She hasn't learned to create portals yet."
"Then that means she's with someone who can."
She was in a place cold and dead, a place few dared venture.
Then it hit me—a blinding, white-hot agony that wasn't mine.
I doubled over, a strangled cry tearing from my throat. The pain ripped through my abdomen, as if someone had driven a blade straight through my core. But it wasn't my body being pierced.
Thais.
The bond flared with her pain, her shock, her blood spilling out.
"No." The word escaped as barely a whisper.
Without thought, without hesitation, I plunged my awareness down the gossamer thread that connected us. I gathered my essence and shoved it through the bond .
My life. My death. My immortality.
It flowed from me like dark fire, racing across the connection between us. I didn't know if it would work, if it could reach her, if it would be enough.
"What are you doing?" A voice, distant, irrelevant.
I ignored it, focusing everything on maintaining the flow. On reaching her.
Hold on, starling. Just hold on.
The thread between us thrummed, darkened, strengthened. I felt my essence wrapping around her fading light, a shield against the encroaching darkness.
She was alive. For now. Hurt. Afraid. And fighting for her life.
But alive.