Chapter 4
Fern
She drifted in and out of consciousness as he carried her, the binding draining her so thoroughly it felt as though it had consumed not just her freedom, but her strength as well.
Daylight broke, but still he walked, apparently no worse off from the ordeal.
“What will happen to me?” she asked, her voice light and rasping.
A muscle in the alpha’s jaw feathered, as though her worry annoyed him. “Why haven’t you shifted?” he asked instead.
The question felt like a reprimand, and she immediately recoiled, the new bond making her want to appease him. Her alpha.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “I was afraid.”
He looked down at her for a moment, like her words alone were enough for him to judge her honesty. Then he nodded once, his head rising. “I suppose so. I marked you when we were children. I should have finished it years ago.”
Her cheek on his chest, she fought and lost the urge to rub against him. He wasn’t angry at her, and his scent was comforting and reassuring. And she wanted it everywhere.
“I didn’t know you were looking for me.”
“I wasn’t.”
Two words like arrows to the heart. She stopped rubbing, instead curling into herself, her mind at war.
Her human side screamed that she didn’t need his approval, that his opinion of her didn’t matter.
But her wolf, still a vague shadow just starting to take shape, whined pathetically, like she wanted to do whatever he asked to show how loyal and grateful she was for him.
For what, existing? For ruining our life? she thought to herself.
For choosing us, the wolf whispered.
Fern nearly jumped. You… you speak?
The wolf snorted. Of course I do. You just never listened before now.
“Then why did you mark me in the first place?” she dared to ask.
His grip on her tightened, his eyes focused straight ahead. “I don’t know.”
Another minute went by. “Why did you help me?” he asked.
Her wolf perked up. He was making conversation.
“Because it was the right thing to do,” Fern replied.
He looked down at her again, his focus consuming, stealing the breath from her lungs. When the corner of his mouth twitched, she felt like she could die happy at that very moment.
And the awareness of that fact made her sick.
“Then that is why I marked you.” He shifted her slightly in his arms, then continued talking. “I’m taking you to Sabletail Castle, the seat of my clan. You will earn your keep there.”
And there it was, the reality of her situation. She was a made wolfkin, a Solvekh. A servant from now until the end of her life. The “right” thing to do as payment for saving a young wolf.
“Doing what?” she asked, afraid of the answer. Because he could make her do anything, and that wolf growing inside of her would enjoy every second of it.
He looked down at her again, considering. “You’re quite small, and I’ve heard we need a new chimney sweep…”
The color drained from her cheeks. “Please, no, I… I can’t do heights.”
He chuckled softly. “No heights, then. Well, what do you know how to do?”
Nothing. The only thing she’d ever been good at was decorating her bed.
“I worked at the tavern where you found me with—” She gasped. The last she’d seen of her mother and father had been on her way out to the storage shed for more onions. And then she never came back. “M-my parents! I didn’t get a chance to—”
“They’ve been compensated.”
Fern stopped, her confusion diluting the despair. “What… what do you mean?”
“You’ve been under their care for ten years that you should have been under mine. I have paid them for their time.”
She stiffened, wanting now to get down, but afraid to ask for it. “They’re my parents,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. Her voice got louder. Shriller. “They don’t need to be paid for taking care of their own daughter!”
“Watch your tone,” he warned, and she shut her mouth and cowered, averting her gaze on instinct.
Then he sighed. “You have much to learn, she-wolf, including how to speak to your alpha. I will forgive you this impudence since it is your first offense, but you would do well to keep your tongue in my presence.”
How magnanimous, she thought bitterly.
“From the moment I marked you,” he continued, “you became my responsibility. It was my mistake that I forgot, so I will not charge you the debt.”
Anger boiled inside her, wanting to lash out with more than her tone and tongue. He hadn’t even let her say goodbye to her mother and father, had paid them like she was livestock they’d been fattening for his return.
Her mind rode the anger further as she pictured the scene, wondering if he’d entered the tavern with her unconscious in his arms, and if the villagers had heard why he was there and what he was doing.
And that anger was soon reshaped into fear, for once word spread that her parents had been harboring a wolfkin, they could be banished themselves.
She sniffed, tears clouding her vision, when suddenly his chest rumbled with a deep, bone-penetrating vibration, and she softened in his embrace once again.
“There, there,” he replied. “Humans live very differently from wolfkin. I know this. The adjustment will be startling, but if you do as you’re told, you will find your place and be happy there.”
The rumbling was nice, but if his words were meant to comfort, they were having the opposite effect.
“So what will be my place?”
“In the dining hall, if that is what you know.”
It seemed similar enough to her life now, and she knew she should probably be grateful it wasn’t something dangerous or degrading.
“That is where I will remain?”
He thought for a moment before replying. “All wolfkin work for the clan in whatever capacity is needed. For Solvekh such as yourself, you will serve the clan by serving the Lurvekh. Today it is in the dining hall. Tomorrow, you may be called elsewhere.”
“And I’ll never have a choice?”
“I never had a choice myself,” he replied calmly. “I was born to my position. Just like you were made for yours.”
Didn’t seem fair to pass on the lack of choice to her, she thought. To force this job on her.
It wasn’t that she’d ever expected her station in life would one day become so lofty she would not need to work.
It was just the death of the dream she could do something else that angered and saddened her, the end of the possibility that she could always try something new if she ever had the inspiration and initiative.
Instead, the alpha had sentenced her to a life where she would never have a say and would always matter less.
* * *
They arrived at the castle before noon, the alpha not appearing tired in the slightest from their long walk. He called out to a guard, depositing Fern in his arms.
Her legs felt well enough that she could walk, but she didn’t dare voice her thoughts. A small part was even enjoying the treatment, especially since it would soon be her job to wait on these wolfkin.
“A Solvekh, newly bound to the clan. Take her to the servants’ quarters and tell Marin she will begin work in the dining hall tomorrow. Today she will rest.”
The guard bowed his head. “Aye, Alpha.”
The alpha looked at her for a moment, then reached over slowly, patted her on the head, and walked away.
She resisted the urge to jump from the guard’s arms and fall at the alpha’s feet, begging him to touch her more, to speak to her more, to give her more…
More…
More, what?
“Are you tired, she-wolf?” the guard asked as he began to walk.
His question was kind, so she answered kindly. “A little. You don’t have to carry me if I am heavy, though, I can walk.”
The guard shook his head. “If the alpha put you in my arms, then in my arms you shall remain.”
In that case, she would not argue.
“Also, you are not heavy. You are actually quite small.”
She had noticed that about herself already, at least in comparison to the wolfkin. “Have you ever considered that you might actually be quite large?”
His chest puffed out at that, his brown eyes shining. “Thank you.”
Fern bit back a laugh. She had meant it as a joke, but was happy he took it as a compliment. “Is being small a bad thing?”
He looked at her more carefully, as though he really needed to think about the answer, and then sniffed the air between them. “You have wide hips, and your scent is very appealing. Many wolfkin would overlook your stature for that.”
His answer was so honest and genuine, she didn’t have it in her to be offended. “Well, thank the gods for that, then,” she mumbled.
“Indeed,” he nodded.
The path they took was long and winding. Fern was trying to remain calm, but the sheer size of the castle was making it difficult to breathe. She’d always felt more comfortable in smaller spaces with low ceilings.
This was too big.
“Is everything alright?” the guard asked.
Her nose burned as she sniffed. “No.”
He held her tighter. “You were made, marked and bound by the Alpha heir himself. It’s quite an honor for a small human. You should be proud.”
Fern did not feel proud at all, but she did not know how far the little goodwill she’d built with this guard would go, so speaking of her despair plainly was probably a bad idea.
“It’s just a very big change for me that I was not expecting.”
“I see,” he replied quietly, his head dipping towards other wolfkin as they kept walking. And walking
How big was this place?
“I think once you experience your first shift, you’ll feel more comfortable here.”
“How do you know I haven’t shifted yet?”
The guard leaned forward and smiled. “I can only barely sense your wolf. She is very small, like you, but ready to come out. She’s been waiting a long time.”
Fern’s mouth fell open in surprise. “You can tell all that?”
“Mhmm,” he replied. “Once you are more in tune with her and the clan, you’ll be able to sense such things yourself. Although perhaps not quite as well as me since you are made and not true.”
“The difference is important,” she said half-heartedly.
“It is,” he agreed. “But don’t worry. I won’t hold it against you.”
His earnestness, even if unintentionally condescending, was starting to cheer her up. Hopefully most of the wolfkin were like this guard and not the four who’d tried to take her outside of the tavern.
“What is your name?” she asked.
The guard smiled. “Jules. And you are?”
“Fern.”
“Fern,” he repeated, testing the name on his tongue. “A good name for a she-wolf. Perhaps your human parents knew you always belonged here.”
She highly doubted that.
They finally arrived in the servants’ part of the castle, and an older woman in a beige, linen dress watched them carefully as Jules finally set her on her feet.
Her legs buckled almost instantly, and he caught her, steadying her before speaking to the woman. “Marin, this is Fern, a Solvekh bound by Alpha Darion himself.”
Marin lifted an eyebrow, unimpressed and then confused as she took Fern in. “Station?”
“Dining hall, beginning tomorrow.”
Marin looked her over again, like she still wasn’t quite convinced, and then shrugged. “Well, Alpha’s orders, then. Come on, girl, let me get you settled.”
Before she could leave to follow, Jules tapped her shoulder. “I hope to see you tomorrow.”
Fern smiled, and it felt neither forced nor fake. “I hope so, too.”