27. Mare #2
Reese laughed. “Is this a Tirnanog thing? Killian was pathetic in the cold, too.” He tapped the door closed with his boot. “Go sit down. The dirt won't kill you."
“No!” I fought against him, to no avail. He hooked an arm around my waist and spun my back toward the bed before pressing down on my shoulder. I collapsed under the force.
My rear touched the dirty sheets, and I shriveled up inside.
Reese sat beside me and laid his blade across his lap. “Dying of illness already?”
“Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.” I closed my eyes, breathing in the warm aura beside me. The frost slowly lifted from my numb limbs.
I still didn’t know anything about Reese. I’d been around him enough to learn his character, and nothing more. Opening my eyes, I shot him a quizzical look. “If everything had been normal, and Killian had just died of old age . . . how would you have trained me?”
“Much differently,” he said, pulling a leg up. “I’d take you to Tur Isaevlair and train you there for at least a month before letting you see field work.”
Tur Isaevlair, the black tower of the Paragons. Would I live long enough to see it?
“That sounds much nicer,” I said. Training still would have kicked my ass, but at least I could have done it in comfort. Leaning forward, I stared out the foggy window. “What did you think when Cleiv Solais chose you?”
“That it must have been a mistake,” Reese said. “That it couldn’t have possibly picked someone like me.”
“Hah,” I laughed, and turned to him with a smile. “How could it have possibly picked a kind, heroic soul like you? Truly, a mystery for the ages.”
Reese met my joke with a cold stare. He seemed like a different person: rough and hostile.
I sat up, regretting my words.
“You’re doing better than I did,” Reese said. “I tried to return the sword and renounce it.”
“I did, too. I marched back into the lord’s meeting, slammed it on the table, and told them they could have it.” I rubbed my frozen fingers together. “It flung itself from the table and impaled itself at my feet.”
Whatever had changed Reese’s demeanor faded. The corner of his mouth turned up. “So did mine. Right in front of the Emperor.”
“Saints,” I breathed. “I would have died on the spot.”
I made the mistake of meeting his eyes—those charming, warm, inviting pools of gold. I snapped my head away.
Reese wrapped an arm around me and leaned me against his side. Warmth pressed through my clothes, and I sighed in relief.
I kept my head up for a long while, reluctant to lay it on his shoulder. A crick formed in my neck, and I hesitantly gave in. The ice clinging to my cheeks melted away when it touched him.
I felt every muscle in his shoulder tense, every cord in the arm behind my back tighten. His hand slid down my arm and curled into a fist, pressing into the bed at my side.
“You and the prince,” Reese said abruptly, jaw tight. “Were you courting?”
“Laiserian?” I perked up, happy to talk about someone else. “Yes. We’d only just begun, though, and considering my situation . . . I don’t imagine it’ll work out.”
“Paragons have married into royalty before.”
“That sounds like a great deal of work. I never wanted to be queen of Aenir. I just wanted to find my people.”
“Find Tirnanog?” Reese tilted his head, and it brushed mine. “Why do you need to marry Laiserian for that?”
“Because no one will do anything. And no one will listen to me, as I am.” I bit my tongue before my next words emerged.
A nobody.
“Killian tried to reach Tirnanog once,” Reese said softly. “He told me Cierthine stopped obeying him when he drew too close to the storms.”
Even a Paragon had failed? I ran a hand across Cierthine.
Was it really hopeless?
My hand trailed off the black blade and tumbled to hang off the bed. Reese caught it, cradling my fingers in his.
Lifting my head from his shoulder, I looked at him in surprise. His hand tightened around mine, and his lips parted before sealing back together.
He stood abruptly. The hand that had held mine tensed at his side. “I should let you get some sleep.”
The cold sank deep into my bones the moment he stepped away. My lip trembled as I watched him approach the door, hoping to find a dignified way to ask him to stay.
But there wasn’t one.
“Can’t you stay?” I asked.
Pleaded, really.
He paused, hand on the knob. “I can tell you value your honor. I didn’t want to—”
“I’m too cold for honor, tonight.”
“Alright,” he teased, smiling again. “I can coddle you for one night.”
Relieved, I leaned back against the pillow stiffly, hoping to avoid touching the soiled sheets. Reese sat heavily beside me and pushed me over. I gasped as my cheek struck the sheets and propped myself up, staring at him in abject horror.
“Paragons,” he said. "Don’t live in luxury. Get used to it.”
“You said you were going to coddle me.”
“My apologies, my lady. Would you like a back rub to accompany your dirt bed?”
Scoffing in disgust, I rolled over. Warmth enveloped my back.
Reese laid a hand on my arm and left it there. A steady stream of heat rushed through my limbs, warming my entire body.
A tremor ran through my fingers, and nervous flutters danced in my heart.
Part of me knew what that feeling was. The other part staunchly denied it.
Shadows had poured from my hands. I was an abomination that the Inquisitors would hunt. A monster the Solhearts would paint as an agent of the black tide.
The reason we lived in darkness, devoid of our god’s light.
I had no right to feel butterflies over a man who would be disgusted when he peered into my heart and learned the truth.