Chapter 25 Amaryllis
AMARYLLIS
Kasimir’s bedchamber feels so much colder in the morning.
It’s been an hour since dawn forced my eyes open, but Kaz’s still sleeping peacefully behind me, one arm curled around my waist while his nose remains buried in my shoulder.
A small part of me is begging to stay. Begging to roll over, press my face into his chest, and find the same intense warmth I found last night.
But, no. I can’t.
Because last night was a terrible mistake.
The fact that I’m even still here is all wrong, tangled up in the arms of someone who is practically a stranger – worse than a stranger, an assassin!
I can’t stay here a moment longer. I need to leave and somehow forget that any of this ever happened.
Because I am a princess, and the throbbing soreness between my legs has nothing to do with any prince.
If Father ever found out…
Silently I detach myself from Kasimir. It’s certainly a challenge. His first instinct as I pull away is to pull me back again, pressing me closer against his warm chest.
Eventually, after a little wriggling, I slip out of his bed and make my way over to my scrunched up gown on the floor.
The fabric feels cool against my hands and even colder when it’s pressed against my skin. But minutes later, after combing through the tangles in my hair and somehow managing to tie the sliced laces, I’m finally creaking open the door to leave Kaz’s room.
“Ruby?”
Whipping around, I see Kasimir propped up on one elbow, dragging a hand through his mussed waves.
Even half-asleep, he’s enough to take my breath away, but I swallow down any traitorous memories of last night.
I can’t stay here, but I also can’t tell him I’m leaving.
After what happened between us, I’m certain he’ll have me chained to his headboard before I can take two steps towards the palace.
“I’m just fetching something to eat.” It hurts to lie, but I have to be strong. “I’ll be right back.”
Kaz smiles lazily then flops down onto his pillows. “Don’t be too long,” he says, closing his eyes. “And make sure that gown is off when you come back to bed. Or I’ll slice the back of it too.”
I laugh, but then I stop myself to clear my throat.
This ends now. Kasimir is dangerous – even if it’s the kind of danger that makes me want to strip off my gown and crawl right back into bed with him.
With one last look at my sleeping assassin, I creep out the door and pull it shut behind me.
It doesn’t take long to find my boots and my cloak.
After tucking the dagger Kaz gave me into my bodice, I sneak downstairs.
I thought about leaving it behind, but honestly, I could do with the extra protection.
Especially since Orion is probably still lurking around the palace – although not for much longer if I can help it.
I’ve already decided I’m going to speak to Father the moment I get home.
Soon, I’m pushing open the front door and stepping outside. But I don’t get very far before I’m met with a burly black wall.
Bertie stands in front of me, scowling as he points his finger back at the front door. When I don’t move, he shoves me backwards.
“No, you don’t understand, I have to leave!” I try to get past him, but the huge man just blocks my path. He continues to shove me, grunting and jerking his chin towards the door.
“I can’t stay here,” I tell him. “Please! You have to let me go.”
“Let her pass, Bertie.” Another voice calls from over my shoulder. I turn to see Meera, with her arms folded, leaning against the doorframe.
Bertie grunts, his scowl deepening.
“I don’t care what the boss told you to do,” Meera scoffs. “I’m not about to sit and watch you keep an innocent girl prisoner. You do realise she’s a princess, right? Guards will come looking for her.”
“Sorry, but you’re keeping me prisoner?” I cut in. Anger boils up inside me, and I almost march back upstairs to Kasimir’s room to tell him exactly what I think of that.
“Just let her go, Bertie,” Meera yells at the scowling man. “You really wanna get caught up in all this?”
Bertie shoots a look towards Kaz’s bedchamber.
“I’ll deal with him.” She pushes me forward and yanks the door shut behind her. “And I’ll walk her back to the palace so she’s safe. And so he doesn’t murder us both.” She says that last part under her breath, but I still hear her.
With a sigh, Bertie raises his hands in mock surrender and finally lets us pass.
I’m out of breath by the time Meera marches us down the near-deserted main street.
A few of the drunks who didn’t make it home last night grumble at us from where they’ve collapsed on the dark road.
But Meera keeps her head down and her hands inside her pockets, while I keep my cloak wrapped tight around my chest.
“Thank you for helping back there,” I say as we near the end of the road. “If it weren’t for you, I’d—”
“Don’t talk to me right now.” She brushes me off with a grunt.
“I just wanted to thank you.”
“Well, don’t. I didn’t do this for you.” Pausing her steps, she spins to face me.
There’s fury darkening her features, but after a moment, her shoulders droop and she shakes her head.
“Listen,” she sighs. “I don’t hate you, Ami.
And I know this is on Kaz as much as it is on you, but whatever happened between the two of you last night, I hope it was worth the risk. ”
My heart stills. She knows. How could she know?
“And I hope it was enough to get it all out of your systems. For good.” Her heavy glare returns.
“Kaz’s life is already dangerous enough without getting caught up with the royal family, and you.
Well, look around you, doll.” She throws up her hands, gesturing at the street.
“This is hardly the right place for a lady to be, let alone a princess.”
Embarrassment creeps over my cheeks. Before I can reply, I’m cut off by Meera’s huff as she reaches into her pocket.
“Here, take this.” She fishes out a small bundle of leaves and shoves it into my hand. “So you can crush it into whatever fancy tea you drink back at home.”
“What is it?” I ask, studying the bundle.
“Seriously?” Meera narrows her eyes. “It’s the herb.”
I look at her as if she’s speaking another language.
“Shit, do they teach you nothing in the palace?” She exhales, frustrated. Then her hand grabs my elbow as she continues to pull me down the street. “You see, Ami, when a man and a woman love each other very much—”
“I know what sex is!” I squeak.
Meera chuckles. “After what I heard last night, I’m inclined to believe you.”
Oh Stars…
“Basically,” Meera continues, “would you like to be waddling around the palace in a few months, pregnant with a little baby Kasimir?”
My eyes widen. “WHAT?”
“Didn’t think so,” she laughs. “So crush up those leaves and take them with tea as soon as you get home.” Half-joking she adds, “Unless you want your firstborn to call me Auntie Meera.”
Meera just chuckles while my stomach twists itself into knots.
I know how babies are made. I’m not a complete fool. Father sat me down and gave me the talk years ago. But he failed to mention that a pregnancy could ever happen outside of marriage. Then again, he also told me it was forbidden to lose your virtue to anyone but your husband.
And Kasimir is certainly not my husband. He’s barely even a friend.
“You know what, Ami. I actually like you.” Meera’s voice cuts through my racing thoughts.
“You might be a bit stuck-up, but you’ve got spirit.
At least more than I was expecting from a princess.
Perhaps in another life we’d have been friends.
” She passes me a small smile that does little to calm my nerves.
“I know what you’re trying to say,” I mumble. “I shouldn’t have come.”
“You belong in a palace,” she sighs. “While people like Kaz and I, we belong here. It’s a different world for us.”
We pause just before the forest behind Father’s palace. But the trees have never looked less welcoming.
Meera stops beside me, dropping her voice to a serious tone. “You have to promise me you won’t come back to Night Alley. If not for your own sake, then for Kasimir’s.”
My heart sinks. “I understand what you’re saying, and I know you’re right.” Turning away from the forest, I take one last look at the dirty high street. “It was a mistake to ever come here.”