Chapter 8
CELEST
“No, you’re not.” I attempt to slip under his arm, but it’s pointless. I won’t be able to open the door unless he steps out of the way. I push my hands against his chest—a solid wall of muscle. He doesn’t budge.
“You’re feisty, little pet.”
I don’t have time for this. “I’m serious, Flex. Get out of my way. I have to go.”
“Watch your tone.”
“No.” It’s out before I think better of it.
He grabs my wrists and pins me against the door once more. “You’ll pay for that, pet.”
The scent of his cologne is intoxicating, and under any other circumstances, I’d drop to my knees and beg to suck his cock, but I was supposed to leave an hour ago. My mom will be going out of her mind with worry. “We’re friends, Flex. Move aside. I have to go get my purse from Genevieve’s private room.” I don’t tell him that I have to get my phone so I can call my mom. He wouldn’t understand my reasons for being so worked up over this.
“What’s going on with you? If we’re friends, then you can tell me. ”
I haven’t even told my best friend everything about my life.
“This was a bad idea. Friends with benefits won’t fit with our lifestyle. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”
The deep furrow of his brow mars his otherwise perfect features, but he releases my wrists. I wait for him to step away, but instead, he slips his hands into my hair, his lips crashing down on mine in a scorching kiss. He doesn’t say anything further, and when he pulls back, leaving me panting, my legs turn to jelly. It takes every ounce of self-restraint I have to stay standing and get my breathing under control.
“You’re right. It’s a terrible idea.” The mischief dancing in his eyes only makes them sparkle with dark desire. He knows exactly what he’s doing. I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how his kiss affects me.
When he moves out of my way, I cast my gaze to the floor, knowing I can’t give in to my libido. If that’s how he kisses, I can only imagine how well he fucks.
“Goodnight, Flex.” I turn and twist the door handle, my heart hammering in my chest.
“I don’t know why you think this changes anything. I’m still taking you home. You’ll ride the subway alone at this time over my dead body.”
“You’ve been drinking.”
“And that makes a difference to my driver, why? Go and get your purse. Be sure to address Viv properly in her room. I’ll be waiting out front.” He can’t be serious.
“You’re not my Dom. You don’t get to boss me around. I’ve survived this long without your input on my mode of transportation.”
“I oversee all security at Venom. That means you too. I’m not taking no for an answer, Celest. If I have to throw you over my shoulder, I fucking will.”
“I don’t have time to argue with you.”
“Good, then it’s decided. I’ll meet you outside.” He grabs his keys and wallet off the chest of drawers before holding the door open for me. “After you. Ladies first. ”
It’s been a long time since anyone has called me a lady. In fact, it’s a first. Gracie’s father never gave me such a compliment, even in the early days of our relationship. My eyes well with tears, but I don’t let them fall.
I slip out the door and walk to Genevieve’s private room. Rapping my knuckles on the hardwood, I wait with trepidation. I don’t want to interrupt her while she’s playing, but I also can’t leave without my belongings.
When the door opens, I’m met by the Mistress in nothing more than a lace thong. “I hope you have a good reason for coming to my private room, Ms. Monroe.”
“I… I need my purse. I’m sorry to bother you, Mistress Genevieve.”
She stands aside, ushering me in while her submissive is shackled to the St. Andrew’s cross on the far wall of her playroom, laid bare, with a massive erection.
“Fine.” I quickly pick up my purse, but I can’t help looking at him as he awaits his Mistress’s ministrations. “Did Master Navarro give you adequate aftercare?”
“I fell asleep.”
“So, the answer is no. I will be having words with him later.”
“Please don’t. It was my fault. He’s not my Dom.”
“That’s not what it looked like while he was worshiping your pussy tonight.” My cheeks flush at her words. They shouldn’t. I get naked and pleasure myself in front of lots of people on a regular basis, and yet the fresh memory of Flex on his knees makes me shy all of a sudden.
“I have to go, Mistress. I’m sorry for intruding.”
“Celest…” She pins me with her confident stare. “Let me know you get home safe.” Her voice softens—my friend rather than a Mistress.
“Flex insists on having a driver take me.”
“Good. I’ll see you next Saturday?”
“Yes.”
She turns her attention back to the smoking-hot guy at her mercy, and I take it as my cue to leave. As I scurry down the hallway and into the elevator, I can’t fathom why everyone seems so invested in how I get home tonight. My last Dom didn’t ask questions. We fucked. He punished me. I left. Simple and easy—just the way he liked it.
When I step out into the crisp night air, Flex is leaning against a black Escalade, looking mouthwateringly handsome.
“Your chariot awaits.” He opens the door and waits for me to get in. I turn to thank him, but before I know it, he slips in beside me.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking you home. What’s the address?”
“No. I agreed to the driver. Do you live in the Bronx?”
“Doesn’t matter. The address, pet.”
“Of course it matters. I know you live somewhere fancy close by. There is zero reason for you to come with me.”
He reaches over, grabbing my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. I can’t breathe when he’s near. He’s an imposing figure, and it’s only magnified in this confined space.
“Don’t argue with me, pet, or I’ll put you over my knee right now and let my driver listen to you take your punishment like the good little slut you are.”
I gasp, considering if I should continue to argue.
“I’m not your submissive, Flex.”
He leans in, brushing his lips against the shell of my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. “But you will be my whore. Isn’t that right, pet?” He darts his tongue out, making me squirm in my seat.
“I…” A moan escapes me as my resolve crumbles.
He slides his hand up under my dress, slipping my panties to the side before teasing my clit. “Oh, you like the idea of being punished right here, right now. You’re fucking soaked.”
He continues his ministrations, pulling back just enough to ask permission with a single look.
“Flex…” I’m already panting like a dog in heat.
He leaves me wanting more, then his palm connects with my pussy in a sharp slap. “You want to be put over my knee, don’t you? ”
“Yes.” The word leaves my lips before I have a chance to think.
In one swift movement, he hauls me across his lap, shoving my dress up to my waist. “Be a good girl and tell the driver where we’re going.”
I do as he asks, my words strangled as he slaps my pussy once more.
“Good girl. Now, how many times will it take to make you come just by slapping your perfect little cunt?”
When I don’t answer, he slaps me harder, and I’m so turned on it’s embarrassing.
“How many, pet?”
“I don’t know.” Another slap. “I don’t know, Master Navarro.”
“Then I guess we’ll just need to find out.”
I’m already so close to climax, sitting in traffic as the sidewalks bustle with people. The windows are blacked out, but I don’t think I’d care if every passerby could see my pussy on display. His hands feel too damn good.
“Before tonight, when was the last time you were punished?”
“A while.”
Slap!
Holy Mother of God, I’m so close.
“How long?”
“Five months, Master Navarro.”
“Jesus.” Without another word, he thrusts two fingers inside me, his other hand coming down on my already tender ass. It’s resplendent. As my muscles tighten, he picks up the pace, creating a punishing rhythm, each slap timed to perfection as he adds a third finger. “That’s it, pet. Let me hear you.”
“Yes… Master Navarro… please don’t stop.”
“Be specific, pet. What don’t you want me to stop? Your punishment or your pleasure?”
“Both.” It’s a breathy whisper.
He continues his ministrations, pushing me to the edge of orgasm over and over again as I cry out for more.
“What a perfect little slut. Do you love that my driver can hear you begging for release? ”
“Yes, Master Navarro.” I’m shameless in pursuit of his touch. I’ve been starved of a Dom’s attention for too long.
“What are you, pet?”
“Your slut, Master.” Slap.
“That’s right.” His fingers pump inside me, and I start to scream. “Do you hear that, Russell? She fucking loves it.”
“Yes, Mr. Navarro.” The sound of his driver’s voice doesn’t faze me at this point. I’m too close to orgasm to care.
Flex smooths his hand over my ass before delivering a hard, sharp slap. I teeter on the brink, so desperate I can almost taste it. He withdraws his fingers and connects his palm with my pussy, sending me crashing over the edge, headlong into an intense orgasm.
“Such a good little pet. Say my fucking name.”
“Master… Navarro. Oh God, yes… yes! ”
Thrusting his fingers back inside my pussy, he lets me ride out my release, creaming for him as he holds me down, knowing exactly what he’s doing to me.
When the aftershocks subside, he puts my panties and dress back in place. I move to sit up, but he scoops me into his arms and cradles me on his lap. “Good girl. Now, lick them clean,” he says, holding his fingers to my lips. I suck the evidence of my arousal from his fingers as if it were his cock. God, I want to feel his cock everywhere. He could fuck my mouth, my pussy, and my ass, and I’d beg him for the privilege.
I’m rewarded with his sharp intake of breath as I finish. “Thank you, Master Navarro.”
“Fuck me, pet. Do you have any idea how hot you are?”
I squirm on his lap, struggling to get comfortable when my ass has taken two punishments tonight. “I have my moments.”
“You need aftercare. I’m coming inside to tend to you when we get to your place.”
Panic sets in. I can’t have him in my house. For a start, he’s used to the finer things in life. Then there’s the small issue of my mom living with me and my daughter asleep in the next room.
“No. I’m fine. You can’t come in. ”
His grip on me tightens. “Why?”
“Because…” I steel myself. As a Dom, he is formidable, and I don’t want to refuse him. I could think of nothing more satisfying than having Flex give me proper aftercare. “Because you can’t.”
“Celest.”
“Emerald.” It’s the quickest way to shut him down, and I hate myself for using my safeword like this, but I’m not explaining my life story to him. We’re friends with benefits, and we haven’t even fucked yet. He doesn’t need to know about my real life.
“My apologies.” His grip on me loosens, and I crawl to the other side of the car. We ride the rest of the way in silence, and I struggle to hold back my tears.
As we near my street, my sadness turns to embarrassment. Flex is so out of place here. He’s used to opulence and every hour of the day being sultry, sexy, and without the drudgery that I inhabit. The club is his work, rest, and play. For me, it’s a tiny moment of freedom sprinkled in my week.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I love being a mother. I fight every day for Gracie to live a good life, and I try to be a good role model for her. I just need one thing that makes me feel alive and good about myself. I have that at the club. I can forget my inner demons for a few hours, and it gives me the strength to keep going.
I’ve missed being punished. I’ve missed having a Dominant’s hands work my body into a frenzy.
The car stops outside my meager home, and I can’t hold back the tears that spill from my eyes as Flex jumps out of the car and runs round to open the door for me. He reaches out his hand to steady me on my heels, and I know the moment he spies the tears. His grip on me tightens, and as I straighten, he lets go of my hand and cups my face, wiping my tears with the pad of his thumbs.
“Why are you crying?”
“I need to go inside.”
“We’re friends, Celest. You can talk to me,” he entreats. As tears continue to fall, he leans in, kissing each cheek to chase my demons away, if only for a few seconds.
“Flex… ”
“Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you right now.”
“I…” He brushes his lips over my eyelashes—such a tender caress.
“Tell me you don’t want me to take you in that house and fuck you the way you deserve to be fucked after taking your punishment like such a good little girl.”
I fist my hands in his raven-black hair and pull him to my level, my lips crashing down on his. Even on my tiptoes, I’m struggling to reach him, and he wraps a massive arm around me, lifting me off the ground as our tongues twist and tangle.
My stomach does somersaults as he explores me—the crisp night air a stark contrast to the soft warmth of his mouth. Every nerve ending in my body comes alive, but I know I have to stop.
It takes everything I have to break our kiss. “I have to go,” I say, breathless from his devastating kiss.
“Then invite me in.” His voice is dripping with sex and full of dark, dominant promise.
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I just can’t.”
He sets me down on my feet and releases his hold. “Goodnight, Celest.” Gesturing for me to climb the steps to my front door, he leans against the car and waits until I turn the lock and open the door.
It’s unsettling to see the club intersect with my real life. Without a word, I slip inside, unable to look back, and when the lock clicks into place, I crumple to the floor, my back against the door. My silent tears fall unbidden as I wait for the sound of Flex’s car leaving.
He’s waiting.
What for?
Just when I’m about to peek through the glass, my mom appears in front of me, dropping to her knees. “Are you okay? What happened?”
I struggle past the lump in my throat. “I’m fine. ”
She cups my face in her hands. “You are not okay. What’s going on?”
“I…” I descend into incoherent sounds, unable to voice the emotions fighting for dominance right now. “I just want my life to be normal. I want so much more than this,” I say, gesturing to our humble abode. Having a terrible credit score and no paper trail has limited my choices since I had Gracie. I’m saving for a nice little home in a good neighborhood, but I feel like nothing I want in life is within reach. Gracie deserves so much better.
I drop my head, unable to face her. She gave up everything a year ago to come and be with Gracie and me. I let her make that sacrifice for us, and I know it was selfish, but Gracie needed someone other than me in her life.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I should never have called you.”
“Look at me.” I can’t do it. “Look. At. Me.”
My silent tears burst forth, bringing a strangled sob with them as I fall into her arms. “I’m so sorry.”
“Never apologize, sweetheart. You did what you thought was right for Gracie.”
“Was it right, though? We live in a part of town I’m afraid to walk at night. She doesn’t know her father. She’s growing every day, and with the hours I work, I feel like I’m missing everything.”
“Where is this coming from? You’re an amazing mother, Celest.” Her voice becomes thick with emotion. “I’m glad you asked me to join you. I’d make the same decision a thousand times over.”
“You had a good life and a lovely home. I brought you to this shithole because I couldn’t cope by myself.”
I cry until my tear ducts run dry, my body spent after punishment, and my mind weary from the constant fear of disappointing everyone in my life. “I’m so tired, Momma.”
“I know, sweetheart. But, whenever you feel like you can’t go on, walk down the hallway and look at that precious little girl sleeping soundly in her bed, safe in the life you’ve built for her.”
“Will it ever get better? Will I ever get the chance to have a normal life? Maybe I don’t deserve it.”
“You deserve everything good in this life, darling. What is ‘ normal’ anyway? This is a bump in the road of your life. When the time is right, you and I will move into a lovely home with Gracie. She’s a happy little girl, Celest. That is all that matters right now. She feels safe, secure, and loved beyond measure.”
“I just want to give her the world.” I let her hold me for the longest time, absorbing her strength as best I can. Gracie can’t see me like this.
“Thanks, Mom. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Well, we’re together now. You, me, and Gracie.”
“I’m going to go check on her.” I need to see my sleeping little angel. Everything is better when I look at her face. There’s so much of her dad in her. She has his eyes, and her lips have the same perfect cupid’s bow. It can be hard sometimes, seeing him reflected in the person I love more than anything else is this world.
I creep into her room and perch on the side of her bed, moving her tight curls off her face. She is truly angelic when she sleeps. Her cute little button nose scrunches as I move her hair, so I ease back, not wanting to wake her.
My eyes fill with tears as I leave her to her sweet dreams and head to my room to grab some pajamas before locking myself in the bathroom. Filling the tub, the rushing water drowns out my sobs.
Tonight was overwhelming. Genevieve. The club. Flex. Punishment. Pleasure.
I strip out of my clothes and stand in front of the full-length mirror. I look gaunt. Run down. My hip bones are jutting out more than they should, and my collarbone is protruding. What does Flex see in me?
I turn to see my ass, bright red with lines from the cat o’ nine tails. It’s been too long since I last saw these marks, and as I gaze over my shoulder, a small smile of satisfaction spreads across my face. It’s going to sting when I slide into the tub, but I want it. I need it.
As I step into the water, it’s almost too hot to handle, but I relish the discomfort. Lowering myself in, my ass stings as I sit, letting the water envelop me. I welcome the pain. It anchors me to the life I’ve been striving for since the moment I found out I was pregnant with Gracie. I will get her into a new home in a safe neighborhood where she can learn to ride a bike and play outside with friends.
I slide down until my face is immersed underwater, listening to my breathing, magnified by the silence. I replay the night, acutely aware of the pain from my punishment. I’m overwhelmed.
When I come up for air, I break down as emotion racks my body. I’ve been so starved for affection lately. I have to clasp my hand over my mouth to stop myself from crying out.
The bubbles are long gone, and the temperature of the water is as cold as my submissive heart. My fingers prune, and my hair is stuck to my back as I emerge from the water. I look and feel like a drowned rat—the vermin I’ve convinced myself I am.
I wrap myself in a soft, virginal white bath towel, pulling it tight around me as if it could hold the broken pieces of me together. I quickly pad down the hallway to my room, eager not to see my mom. I’ve shown enough weakness for one night, and as I slip inside and drop the towel, I shrug into my favorite sweats, my ass smarting from punishment tonight.
As I throw back the covers on my bed, I grab my phone before crawling in and pulling the comforter around me like a cocoon. I would love nothing more right now than to have the proper aftercare, but I don’t have that luxury. Flex can’t be a part of my world. My real fake life. The one I’m afraid to share with anyone. I’ve been hurt before, and I won’t let it happen again.
Fuck , even I don’t know who I am anymore.