Chapter 14
CELEST
What am I doing? The scent of Flex’s cologne tantalizes my senses as we kiss like no one is watching. With anyone else, I’d be more cautious, but it’s not like he and I haven’t done plenty with a crowd standing by, enjoying the show.
He pulls me down into his lap, wrapping his arms around me in a tender embrace. “If you just want to be friends, pet, you can’t kiss me like that because it makes me want to lay you out on this table and fucking devour you.” I gasp, so turned on I can barely breathe.
It sends a shiver down my spine, but I use all my self-restraint to stand and put some distance between us. “We should probably get going. I promised Gracie…”
“Churros. I know. I’ll take you home with time to spare. I’m not going to hold you against your will or anything.”
“I’m sorry. This just caught me really off guard today.”
“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who stepped outside the bounds of our agreement. I thought I had made my intentions clear. Obviously not.” I don’t have a comeback. He’s right. I wanted to keep him at arm’s length. I’ve known for a while that I’m kidding myself.
“Then why do I feel like we’re not going to interact anymore?”
“I don’t know where you’re getting that from, Celest. I can’t attempt to understand how you feel if you don’t want to share any details with me.”
“It’s not your job to understand. We fuck and play. I told you that it can’t be more than that. Now you know. I have a daughter. My mom lives with me to help look after her while I’m at work. I come to the club on a Friday or Saturday night, and I can’t offer more than that to a potential Dom. When you say things like, ‘as your Dom,’ you muddy the waters, and I don’t have the luxury of just seeing where things go. I’ve made that mistake before.”
“I’m not just some random guy.”
“No, you’re not. You are an amazing Dom. I’ve seen you with previous subs who would gladly crawl on their hands and knees through broken glass for you.” He stops me before I can continue.
“I don’t want to hear any bullshit that I’m too good for you. You’ve seen the facade. Everyone shows you what they want you to see. When I say we’re friends, I don’t take that lightly. I want to fuck you and dominate you in the most depraved ways possible, but you’re also the only woman I’ve allowed to fall asleep in my playroom. You’re the only sub I’ve driven home because I genuinely care about your safety. The only woman I go out of my way to have lunch with just so I can talk to you for an hour. I know that makes me an utter dick to every sub I’ve ever had. We’re here today because I really wanted to move things to the next level outside of the club.”
“Why?” My heart is hammering in my chest, even though I know this is never going to end well. Maybe I’ve been letting myself dream for a moment, but it needs to stop.
“Because I like you.” He moves to kiss me, but I turn my head as much as it pains me.
“Can you take me home, please?” I struggle to keep my emotions in check.
“This isn’t how I wanted today to go.”
“That’s what happens in my life, Flex. My plans revolve around my daughter.”
“As they should. I’m not asking you to put me before her or your mom or anyone at all. I’m saying give me a chance to show you that we could be so much more. That you are so much more than what’s between your legs.”
Why is he so adamant to be my friend? It doesn’t make sense to me. “I’m not doing this. I’ve been here before. A Dom decides he can ‘fix’ me, lets me catch all kinds of feelings, and then splits when he finds out about Gracie. The one person who means more to me than anything else in the world is treated like baggage to be handled. An inconvenience in their day.”
“Then you need a better caliber of Dominant in the future.”
“I’m not your new project, Flex. I guarantee I am too broken for a guy like you.”
“Like me? Pray tell, what am I like? ”
“You have no attachments or responsibilities. No kids to worry about, which isn’t a bad thing. Kids complicate life.”
“If you could go back, would you wait to have a child?”
“No.” My voice is irate, even though I know it’s just a question meant with no malice or judgment. “I’d go through every hardship a million times over to have Gracie.”
“Can I ask where is her father?”
“Dead.” I have no desire to elaborate on that piece of shit.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” That’s a joke. I would dance on Michael’s grave given half the chance. He would’ve been a terrible father.
“I really need to get home.”
“Of course. Sorry. I didn’t mean to grill you.” He reaches into his wallet and drops a hundred-dollar bill. “Let’s go.” He takes my hand in his, and it’s warm, strong, and comforting in a way I know I’ve already let myself get used to.
When we get to the bike, I reach for my helmet, but before I can put it on, Flex leans in, wrapping his arm around my waist. He gently presses his lips to my cheek, the scent of his cologne intoxicating my senses. I release an audible moan as his mouth moves to the shell of my ear. “Flex.” I’m not sure if it’s a plea for more or for him to stop being so damn irresistible.
“Remember to hold on tight, pet. I want your thighs wrapped around me… for safety.” Holy Mother of all that is good and pure. I ne ed to stop this before I get hurt, but God, he’s so dominant in everything he does. The submissive in me wants to beg him to take me right here, right now. The mom in me wins out and always will. I need to go home and get my head out of the clouds.
Flex triple-checks my helmet before I climb on behind him, savoring his proximity, and we peel out onto the road. Before today, I’d never been on a motorcycle, too afraid at the prospect. I don’t know why I trust Flex so intrinsically. Is it that he served his country or that he owns a security firm? With my arms wrapped around his waist, I close my eyes and let everything else fade away. I feel so safe, and it’s something I long gave up on.
The ride home is exhilarating, and I’m a little sad when we pull up outside my house. I don’t want to let go of Flex, but I know I have to. When he kills the engine and takes off his helmet, his hair is messy and sexy as hell—like he’s freshly fucked. My whole body reacts to him, his smile making me weak at the knees.
“Thanks for coming out with me today, pet.” Fuck me . Say it again. Call me your pet.
“I should be the one saying thank you. You didn’t have to come here or take me out for lunch. It was nice.”
“Celest…” He reaches for my hand.
“Mommy!” Gracie comes running out the front door, my mom at her back, trying to slow her down. “You’re back. Can we churro?”
I sweep her up into my arms. “Hey, little miss. Yes, we can churro.”
She peeks around me to where Flex sits astride his bike. “Are you coming?”
“Gracie, I’m sure Flex has other things to do.” Her tiny pout is so sassy.
“Nope. No plans. I do enjoy churros. I’d love to come with you, Gracie. If it’s okay with your mommy.”
Is he kidding right now? I can’t say no to that little face as she beams up at me. “Sure. Do you want to come and get churros with us, Flex?”
The smug expression on his face is annoyingly endearing. I’d even venture to call it cute. Not a word I ever thought I would use to describe Flex Navarro.
“Yes, I’d like to come with you.” I watch as he gets off the bike with such fluidity. His every move exudes confidence. Even the way he walks is sexy.
I turn to him. “Give me a few minutes to get Gracie ready, and we can go.”
“Celest…” my mom chastises me. “Invite the boy inside.” Everything about this moment has me on edge. It’s bad enough that Flex knows I live in this neighborhood.
“I’m sure Flex doesn’t want a tour of our home.”
She ignores me and extends the invitation. “Would you like to come inside? Would you like a drink?”
He smiles, and it’s completely disarming. “It’s lovely to meet you properly, Mrs. Monroe. I’m Felix.” I’m pretty sure I can see her cheeks blush when she shakes his hand.
“Please, call me Nora. Tell me, Felix, are you dating my daughter?”
I need the ground to open and swallow me whole right now. It’s like I’m back in high school. “Mom!”
“What? You never tell me anything. This handsome young man came to whisk you away today. I have questions.”
“This isn’t twenty questions.”
Flex takes a step closer to me, but his eyes are trained on my mom, giving her his full attention. “We aren’t currently dating, but I’m definitely trying to win over your daughter.”
My breath catches, my stomach doing somersaults. Then, my brain kicks in—he’s not going to tell my mom the truth. Hey, I just came over to be nice, considering I am fucking your daughter and punishing her because she loves it.
Like the schoolgirl I feel, I remain silent, pulling Gracie up into my arms.
“Mommy, I need to poop.” And just like that, any ember of romance is snuffed out.
“Okay, sweet pea, let’s get you inside.” I rush into the house, leaving my mom to ask any other mortifying questions in my absence.
“What did you and Gan Gan do while I was gone?” While she sits on the toilet, I check my face in the mirror. My mascara is smudged, and my hair is a wild, sweaty mess after wearing that helmet for an hour. I look like crap. At this point, it’s not going to make a difference, so I grab a facecloth, wipe my panda eyes, and wrestle my hair into a messy bun.
“Mommy, I’m done.” The glamorous life with a toddler. I help her wipe and fix her leggings before letting her wash her hands. She splashes water all over the place, getting my top wet. I just want to crawl into my bed. I’m exhausted. Not physically, but today, Flex is throwing me for a loop. I’ve been compartmentalizing our time spent outside of Venom—a lunch here and there, our phone calls and texts. They happen parallel to my life in this house, never intersecting.
Gracie skips out of the bathroom, and I take a moment to breathe. This is a good thing. Flex will see what my life is like and run a mile. I can’t deal with him in my space. Not because I don’t want to be around him—he’s an amazing man. For my own sanity, I need to keep this part of my life separate from the club.
As I walk down the hallway and into the living room, my pulse is racing. I can hear Flex talking to my mom, and as they come into view, I find him looking at the pictures on the walls. Seeing him in here feels wrong. He’s sophisticated, and his presence is all-encompassing in this small space.
“Gracie has her mom’s smile. Cute. A little crooked, which makes it even more adorable.”
“Are we ready to go?” I chime in, needing to get outside. If it didn’t feel small in here under normal circumstances, it sure as hell does now.
Flex turns to answer me, his eyes raking the length of me as a smile creeps at the corners of his mouth. “I’m ready, pet,” he says, biting his bottom lip.
“Come on, Gracie, hold my hand.” Instead of coming to me, she bounds over to Flex, grabbing his hand .
“I going to hold Fex’s hand, Mommy.”
“No, Gracie.”
“It’s fine, Celest. I am capable of holding her hand. In fact…” he says with a conspiratorial wink to Gracie, “… it would be my honor.”
“What does that mean, Mr. Fex?”
He drops down on one knee to be at her level. “It means that I’m happy you want to hold my hand, Gracie bear.” Kaboom . My ovaries just exploded. Obliterated. Every. Last. Egg.
She smiles at him before giggling at his nickname for her.
I grab my purse and head for the front door, my mom following close on my heels, Gracie and her new best friend lagging behind.
“He is so handsome, Celest. And so good with Gracie.”
“Can you lock the front door?” I can’t slow down. My heart is hammering so hard I feel like it’s about to come bursting out of my chest. I need to stop this. Tonight.
I don’t think I’ve ever walked so fast in my life. I hear Flex and Gracie laughing behind me, but I dare not look back. Normally, I wouldn’t be so ignorant, but if I acknowledge him right now, I’m going to cry.
By the time we reach the churro café, my mom has asked Flex so many questions that a rectal exam would be less invasive. I tell my mom to find a table while I join the order line. I’m so intent on holding it together that I’m caught off guard when Flex appears, resting his hand on the small of my back.
“Are you okay?” I shrug his hand off, stepping forward without looking him in the eye. “Celest... talk to me.”
“Why are you here, Flex? Your plan to take me out somewhere and fuck me didn’t go as planned. You should be on your way to the club to find a willing pussy for the night.”
He steps in front of me. “Stop it, pet.”
“What? Being truthful? I’m not your pet, and you’re not my Master. Not really.”
“Don’t force me to make you submit right here, right now.”
Our words are lost amongst the hustle and bustle of the café. This place is always thrumming with a crowd of happy families and teenagers out on their first date.
“This isn’t Venom, Flex. I’m a different person outside of those walls. Outside of Manhattan. The fact that you think you could make me ‘submit’ here is laughable.” I know I’m being a bitch, but it’s the only way he’ll leave.
Before I have a chance to react, he spins me around, pulling my back to his chest, his hands gripping my wrists behind me. “Don’t underestimate me, pet. It makes no difference to me if everyone in this place watches as you get on your knees for me.”
“I care. My daughter is right over there. With my fucking mother. I’m not the little slut who opens her legs at Venom for anyone who cares to watch. I’m a mother. ”
He leans in, his lips caressing the shell of my ear. “Then say it, and I’ll let you go… for now.” I can feel his smile against my neck.
“Say what?” I almost spit the words.
“Say, ‘Yes, Master Navarro, I’m your pet.’ Then, I’ll let you move.”
I squirm in his grasp, trying to free myself, but he only holds me tighter. “No.”
“Are you really going to make me do this?”
“Let me go, Flex. I’m serious.” The scent of his cologne and the wall of muscle at my back makes it hard to function.
Holding my wrists with one hand, I can feel him reach into his pocket, followed by something dropping to the floor. “Be a good girl and pick up my wallet, pet.”
“Get it yourself.” His grip on me tightens enough to be uncomfortable.
“Get on your knees, pet,” he rumbles, and it sends a jolt of desire straight to my core.
“People will see.”
“That’s never been a problem for you. Now, get. On. Your. Knees. You and I are the only ones who’ll know the real reason you’re dropping for me. I’m giving you a ‘vanilla’ excuse.”
“Flex.”
“Get on your fucking knees, pet. I know you want to.” He releases my wrists, and I drop to the floor, reaching for his wallet. With my eyes cast down, I hold it up with both hands. It’s a show of respect as a submissive.
“Don’t you feel better, pet? That spark in the pit of your stomach radiating through your body. You’re a submissive, Celest, and right now… you’re fucking mine . Understood?”
“Yes, Master.” As soon as the words leave my lips, I shed all the tension in my body—relaxing if only for a moment—letting him take care of me. I release an audible sigh as he acknowledges me.
“Good girl. You can stand up now.” He reaches out his hand to steady me, and the touch further calms me. He pulls me into his arms, pressing his lips to my forehead. “Thank you for getting my wallet. How do you feel?” His voice is low, slow, and steady—a balm to my tortured soul.
“Better.”
“Okay. Do you trust me, Celest?” He drinks me in, and I can feel his heart beating almost as fast as mine.
“Yes, Master.”
“No. Not as a Dom. Do you trust me as a man? As a friend.” It’s a completely different kind of relationship. He’s a Dom and a very skilled one. I never question his judgment at the club, but I’m out of my element right now.
“I think so.”
He cups my face with his hands, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I want to earn your trust, Celest. No secrets. No lies. There doesn’t even need to be sex outside of the club. I want to know you here, at your home, with your family. So, can you give me a chance? Is it even something you want? You seemed pissed on the walk here. I understand if you would rather I leave now. This is your family. Had I known, I wouldn’t have just shown up unannounced.”
And that’s the crux of it. “I know. You’d have run a mile like everyone else.”
“No. I would have made sure that you felt comfortable, and when the time was right, I would have wanted to meet your daughter. You being a mom doesn’t scare me, Celest.”
“This was supposed to be easy. No attachments. ”
“Be honest, it’s been more than that for a while now. With all those long talks over lunches, I thought we were getting to know each other, but you’ve been hiding who you are. Why are you so afraid of me?” I can’t look at him. I’m not even sure I know the emotions running through my mind.
“I’ve been hurt too many times, Flex. Being with you at the club, I can compartmentalize that. I can explain away our lunch dates. Here… seeing you in my home… you’re too good to be a part of my real life.”
“What? What’s wrong with your ‘real’ life?”
“You’re used to opulence, expensive living, and no kids dictating your schedule. Why do you think I only come to the club once a week? Because the other six nights, I’m doing bathtime, watching cartoons, and reading bedtime stories. Gracie is… everything.”
His expression sobers, and I’m waiting for him to make his excuses and leave, but he catches me off guard as he leans in, pressing the softest kiss to my lips. “I have an expensive house, but it’s not a home. I can do what I want when I want because I don’t have the love of a family in my life. Money means nothing without the things that truly matter. I understand you don’t want to get hurt, but I promise you, pet, I’m here, and I want as much or as little involvement with you as you feel comfortable granting.”
“Why?” He cuts me off with a kiss.
“I like you, Celest. I want a contract. Friends with benefits isn’t good enough for me. I want more. I’ve already told you that.”
My pulse is whooshing in my ears. He’s messing with me. He has to be. “It was your idea, Flex. This is getting complicated, and you don’t know what you’re asking of me.”
“Give me a chance as more than friends. That’s all I’m asking. Then, if that works out, you can decide if you want a contract.”
“What about at the club?” Am I really considering this?
“Right now, the agreement stands until we sign a contract. All the sex and punishment you desire.”
“And what about interactions with other people?” Not that I have people banging at my door .
His jaw tightens. “Rules are the same. If I’m at the club, you’re mine.”
“And you? If I’m at the club, are you mine?” A wicked grin spreads across his flawless face.
“What do you want, pet?”
“I don’t want you with someone else if I’m around.”
“Then I’ll be yours and only yours when you’re at Venom.”
“And you’re really okay if I’m with someone else if you’re not at Venom?”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t eat and sleep at the club to ensure no one gets the chance.”
He drapes an arm around my shoulder, pulling me to his side as he presses his lips to the top of my head.
“Flex…”
“Yes, pet.”
“Don’t hurt me.”
“Only in the ways you enjoy.”
It’s the last we speak of it for the day. Flex insists on paying, taking pity on me, I’m sure. My mom continues to embarrass the hell out of me, but he finds it amusing. Seeing him interact with Gracie is such a departure from the man I know. He’s goofy, willing to do anything to make her laugh. I think they have the same emotional maturity. I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. It’s a breath of fresh air, but in the pit of my stomach, I know I need to stay guarded. Letting myself get too attached to Flex will only end in heartbreak.
When we’re done, Gracie’s little face is covered in cinnamon sugar, and she’s ready to crash out. I’m about to lift her into my arms when Flex steps in. “Let me. It’s a fair walk back to your house.” He turns his attention to Gracie. “Hey, Gracie bear, is it okay if I carry you? I’m cold, and I reckon your cuddles are warm and cozy.”
She holds her arms open to him, letting him scoop her up as if she weighs nothing. The way he cradles her is so sweet. It’s like he’s known her since the day she was born. We chat on the walk home, and I feel a genuine friendship blossoming between us. I like it, but I know it’s going to hurt when it ends. And it will end.