Chapter 12 #3
A standstill commenced. Sarah refused to spare her a burning gaze. Luca’s grip tightened.
She pulled Sarah into her arms and kissed her.
Sarah attempted to resist. An attempt that began in her brain but quickly lost steam once Luca’s lips were on hers again. Fuck off. Go jump in traffic. Never show your face around me again. Thoughts that dissipated from her mind because of one stupid kiss.
“How else was I supposed to find out anything about you?” Luca’s hands remained around Sarah’s head while her fingers lightly scratched at that beautiful throat and chest. “You won’t tell me anything.”
“As if you have no skeletons in your closet.”
Luca kissed her once more, briefly, enticing her with promises of more lovemaking if she would have her. She wouldn’t. Not after a betrayal like that.
I should have guessed. No one can be trusted with my vulnerability. Sarah broke off the kiss before she became smitten again.
“You’re welcome to do some digging yourself.”
Sarah finished putting on her clothes and left the bedroom. Luca followed.
“We’re not dating,” Sarah announced at the front door. “As far as I’m concerned, you can leave me alone at work. And in private.”
Luca lowered her arms. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You think it’s going to change?”
“I think you’ll calm down eventually.”
“Fuck off and die,” she spat. Sarah did not wait for Luca to come after her. She slammed the front door shut and hurried home as quickly as possible.
Luca only sent her one text that night. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave the ball in your court.”
Yeah, well, she could still fuck off and die.
Nigel was in the living room when Sarah stormed through the door and went straight to her bedroom. It took him exactly two minutes to knock on her door.
“Go away!” She was already half undressed and determined to take yet another shower. She needed to wash the stain of Luca Blackbourne away.
Too bad she forgot to lock her door. Nigel entered, his demeanor implying that he didn’t care if his sister pushed him back out or not. “Things didn’t go well on your date, huh?”
She flopped onto her bed, pants off, not giving a fuck. Nothing Nigel hadn’t seen before. “How did you know it was a date?”
He sat near her, the bed slightly giving way to his weight. “The fewer details you give me, the more I assume it’s a date.”
“Maybe I like having some secrets.”
“Last time you kept secrets from me, bad shit happened.”
Don’t remind me. Don’t be like her and remind me. “Leave me alone.”
He let her stew in silence. That was Nigel’s way: offer his presence, his unwavering support, but not say a word unless prompted. Sarah was not going to prompt him.
I can’t believe I was so stupid. I should have known people like that can’t keep their noses out of shit.
“What happened?”
Sarah rolled over and silently told her brother to mind his own damn business.
“All right. Who gets punched next? That’s the manly thing I’m supposed to say, right?”
“Don’t need you punching anyone. I handled it.”
Again, silence.
“You know…” Nigel lay back, his head landing two inches away from her stomach. “It hurts me too. What happened to you.”
“Oh my God, don’t even.”
The people in Sarah’s life, unfortunately, did not know how to shut the fuck up. “I think about it every day.”
“Trust me when I say it sucked more for me.”
“I know, but what hurts you hurts me too.” Sarah knew from the way his words caught in his throat that there was something else he wanted to say. “I think of it as our baby that was stolen from us.”
“That’s the most incestuous thing you’ve said. No wonder people think we’re fucked up.”
“I’m serious. I was going to help you raise it.”
“Him.”
“Yeah, him.”
Sarah rolled back over away from her brother. “You would’ve been an awesome uncle.”
“Crazy, huh? Never was sure if I wanted kids. But when you told me you were pregnant, one of the first things I thought was that I couldn’t wait to be an uncle.”
Now that’s never going to happen. Unless her doctors were wrong about the infertility foisted upon her.
And if I ever do miraculously get pregnant, we’ll probably both die.
Where was she in this decision? Who got to decide this on her behalf?
Some old shit who stroked himself straight into a wheelchair?
What the fuck did Luca really know?
“If you knock your girlfriend up,” Sarah said, “you’re on your own, buddy.”
Nigel reached back and awkwardly patted her arm. “I knew you had my back.”
“Shut up and make us some popcorn. I wanna get fat before work tomorrow.”
“Okay, but put some pants on. And you say I’m the reason people think we’re incestuous…”
Sarah waited until she heard the microwave in the kitchen before slipping off her bed and looking for a pair of yoga pants.
She hoped there was good enough late-night TV on, because she intended to eat popcorn, drink more wine, and fall asleep on her brother’s shoulder.
But as she nodded off to the sounds of Jimmy Kimmel interviewing Hollywood’s latest it-girl, she wondered if Luca was in her penthouse, wishing Sarah were there with her.
She then wondered why she cared at all.