Chapter 17
When Sarah arrived at Luca’s apartment early, it was to the scent of roast in the oven and the sounds of a five-year-old watching cartoons on the huge TV.
Sarah wouldn’t say she was up on the hip cartoons of the day, but she recognized Bluey well enough.
She also recognized the excited grin on her girlfriend’s face when she stepped out of the kitchen wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead of the three-piece suit from earlier.
She already had sauce, and God knew what else on her shirt.
“As you can see, we here at Casa de Blackbourne only deal in the finest of entertainment and, in the words of my son when he saw me put broccoli in the steamer… ‘gross nasties.’” Luca kissed Sarah on the forehead. “More broccoli for us.”
She hung her bag up on the rack by the front door before removing her shoes and following Luca into the living room. Luca picked up the remote and muted the colorful cartoon. Victor turned to them, surprised when he noticed a new person in the room.
“I’d like you to meet someone, Victor,” Luca said with nervous pep in her voice. Sarah squeezed her hand. Maybe it would give her more impetus. “This is my friend, Sarah. She’s going to hang out with us tonight, have dinner, and watch movies. Sound good?”
Despite not being genetically related, there was no mistaking Victor for anyone but Luca’s son.
He even had shockingly bright blue eyes, let alone the way he cocked his head and displayed other mannerisms like sagging back in his seat and kicking one leg over the other.
This is too much. The freckles littering his face were like he picked up a brown Crayon and had fun in front of the mirror.
He looked Sarah up and down, not sure what to make of her. Yeah, kid, I don’t have a lot of experience with children. “Okay.”
“Okay? Just okay?” Luca released Sarah’s hand and sat next to her son. “You gonna say hi to Sarah?”
“Hi, Sarah.”
She waved back at him. “Nice to meet you, Victor. Your mom talks about you all the time.” As of last weekend, but who’s counting, right? “What are you watching?”
Luca stood back up and motioned to the kitchen. “I’ll let you two get acquainted and check on dinner.”
What? Leaving me alone with him? Victor didn’t seem to mind. He looked back toward the TV, which Luca unmuted before heading to the kitchen. Sarah sat on the far end of the couch, a respectable distance from the boy she had just met.
“Bluey.”
“I’ve never seen it before. What’s it about?”
“Dogs.”
That told her nothing. “Looks good.”
What else should she say?
Sarah was not prepared for this, no matter how nonchalant she was before showing up.
It didn’t help that she never grew up around other children in her family, had younger siblings who weren’t only younger by five minutes, or dated people who had younger children before Luca came into her life.
What did I think I was going to do when I had a baby?
No, that was different. She would’ve been the mother, damnit, and known her child from the day he was born.
She would have intimately known his quirks, his mood swings, and would have known not to ask questions like What are you watching?
Besides, Victor was five. Sarah knew enough to know that he was at such a precarious age.
While he was still too young to understand the implications of his mother dating a new woman and what that might mean for their future, he was old enough to remember her should she stick around long enough to form an attachment.
Who knew what this boy had already gone through when it came to losing people he loved?
His parents had divorced when he was only four.
He saw his second parent once a week, sometimes more, but usually not.
What would I have done? No way would Russell have wanted to be involved with their son’s life.
That had suited Sarah fine. Better for him to be completely out of the picture than to get her boy’s hopes up.
Nigel would be his male role model for better or for worse.
Not that it mattered anymore.
So they sat in silence on the couch, Victor watching TV while Sarah contemplated the alternative history where she became a mother and dealt with this as Jill Blackbourne currently did.
When would I introduce a new partner? When would I explain getting remarried? What would I do if my son hated them?
The night was worse than Sarah had anticipated.
No, Victor wasn’t untoward or impolite to her, but he barely acknowledged her as they ate dinner at a small table by the kitchen and followed it up with a movie in the living room.
Luca made microwave popcorn and dumped it into a large blue bowl that Victor asked to carry to the couch.
When it proved to be much too big for him, Sarah snatched the rim and helped him haul it several feet to the living room.
That was the extent of their interaction for most of the movie, since Luca sat between them on the couch, one arm around both like she was the luckiest woman in the world.
Sarah crossed her legs away from them, her arms useless in her lap.
She sat up straight but couldn’t pay attention to the movie.
She barely touched the popcorn. Every time Victor or Luca laughed, she suddenly gave the film her rapt attention, attempting to figure out what was so funny and what appealed to the Blackbourne sense of humor.
Why am I obsessing over this? There was no point being so standoffish, let alone around a small child. Let alone around her damned girlfriend.
“Mom?” Victor asked toward the end of the movie.
“Hm?”
“Why isn’t Mama here?”
Sarah excused herself to the bathroom, even though she didn’t have to go. When she determined it was safe enough to return ten minutes later, she discovered a scene she never expected.
“Whoop! There he goes!” Luca held her son upside down between her legs.
Giggles exploded every time Victor’s mother swung him around or lifted him into the air.
Luca’s muscles flexed under the onus of moving forty pounds around her living room.
Was she enjoying the moment? Wondering how long it was until her son was too big, too heavy to pick up again?
Did they do this often, or was this one of her ways of assuaging her son’s concerns toward his parents?
Sarah stayed near the bathroom, entranced, her heart unable to bear the intimate moment that would one day be a fond memory for both mother and son.
What the hell was Sarah doing, thinking she could possibly be a part of it?
“Where are you going, Angel?” Luca plopped her laughing son down on the couch and approached her. Not fast enough. She already had her purse over her shoulder and one of her shoes on her feet. “The night’s still young.”
It was almost nine-thirty, but Luca could keep telling herself that. “I need to get to bed early. I have a meeting at… well, you know.”
“So stay here tonight.”
“Where would I sleep? The couch?”
Luca put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
Damn her for making her feel better, right?
“He’s going to sleep on the couch tonight.
Not with me.” Before Sarah could protest again, Luca continued, “He’s pretty excited to sleep on a couch.
It’s his first time.” Luca leaned in closer, hand blocking her mouth from any listening five-year-old ears.
“He’s a big kid now, okay? Can’t be sleeping with his parents, he says. ”
“Uh-huh…”
“Please, Sarah. If you really want to leave, I won’t stop you, but could you at least say goodbye to him?”
“Right. That would’ve been rude of me, otherwise.”
“Believe it or not, he actually likes you.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because he hisses at the people he doesn’t like.”
“What?”
“You heard me. He hisses. You should see him around my mother.”
“I…”
“I’m just saying, Sarah. He hasn’t hissed at you yet.”
Sarah hung her purse back up. “All right. I’ll stay. As long as you promise I don’t have to sleep on the couch.”
“Not unless I’m sleeping on it with you. Who knows? The little prince out there might want my bed all to himself.”
“It would be rather snug on your couch.”
“I don’t mind snug.”
She tipped Sarah’s chin up and planted a soft kiss on her lips.
“Can I use your shower?”
Luca grinned down at her. “Of course. Take as long as you need.”
She did. She needed a long time to herself in her shower, doing nothing except sitting on the bench beneath the showerhead and drowning in warm water and wishing it would wash away the negative thoughts trapped in her head.
Since agreeing to be her girlfriend a week and a half ago, Sarah had moved in a few personal items. Not just a spare toothbrush and flosser, but changes of underwear, a couple of spare blouses she could switch out between shifts at work – and nobody would notice.
While she didn’t have pajamas since she planned on spending most nights naked with her girlfriend, she found a smaller pair of Luca’s gym shorts and a loose-fitting T-shirt that nobody could claim corrupted a small child.
She half expected to find Luca arguing with her son about bedtime, but Victor was already asleep – on his mother.
The two snoozed on the couch, son sprawled across his mother’s chest, rising, falling, and drooling on the T-shirt beneath him. Luca, whose head was propped up against the arm of the couch, lightly snored with one arm thrown across her son’s tiny shoulders.
Quietly, Sarah snuck into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water before going into Luca’s bedroom. Fifteen minutes later, right before she finished replying to her texts for the night, Luca ambled in, yawning and pulling her shirt over her head.
“Guy’s all tuckered out. So am I.”
“Is he asleep?”
Luca left her bedroom door unlocked. A sign that nothing besides sleeping together was happening that night. “All nice and snug under a blanket on my couch. I made sure to hide the TV remote. Wouldn’t be the first time he almost watched something way too adult for him at four in the morning.”
Sarah laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Luca pulled back the covers and crawled in next to her.
“You’re such a mom.”
Luca pulled Sarah’s phone out of her hands and tossed it onto a chair a few feet away. Her arms wrapped around Sarah and brought her into that protective embrace. “Does that turn you on, Angel?”
Sarah clapped her hands twice, turning off the lights in the bedroom. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to nothing but the color of midnight outside. “Everything you do turns me on, apparently. Even watching you do the dishes earlier turned me on.”
“Wow. Doesn’t take much.”
“That’s to your benefit.”
They were silent for a moment, Sarah appreciating the calm in the room – and around her. “Thanks for meeting my son today, Angel,” Luca said another moment later.
“It was my pleasure.”
“It means a lot to me. I want him to see healthy relationships.”
Sarah wouldn’t argue with her. Not about what was good for her son to see, and certainly not about whether their relationship was healthy.
“Let’s go on a date this weekend,” Sarah said with a yawn. “Take me someplace nice. Play your cards right, and I’ll be a total freak in bed.”
“Now I can’t sleep.”
Sarah could. She was out like the city lights within five more minutes, dreaming of nothing but more sweet nothings.