Chapter 28
THEA
The room feels dark, cold, and empty. I’d lain there for hours before falling asleep, crying and staring at the ceiling, then crying again, trying to make sense of what Gabriel told me, what he admitted.
He manipulated me, but he saved me. He has feelings for me.
It’s impossible to let it all settle in my mind. I should hate him. I want to hate him. But lying there alone in the dark, I realize how much I miss him.
I throw off the covers. I’m still in my black dress from the council meeting. I never changed, just locked myself in my room and cried until exhaustion dragged me to the bed.
I should take off the dress, shower, change into something cozy, and try to sleep. I’m sure I look like a total mess. But instead, I walk to the door, unlock it, and step out into the hallway. It feels as if someone else is moving me as I make my way to the third floor to Gabriel’s bedroom.
Once I’m there, I knock softly. But there’s no answer.
Part of me wants to hurry back to my room, to take his lack of response to my knock as a sign that this is a bad idea.
But I don’t.
Instead, I grab the knob and turn it, finding it unlocked. I push the door open and step inside.
The room is dark, aside from the city lights filtering in through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Gabriel is in bed, one arm thrown over his face, his chest rising and falling in the slow rhythm of sleep.
He looks younger, vulnerable, like the hard edges and roughness that defined him during the day have been softened by exhaustion.
Today had been hard.
I stand there for a long moment, watching him. He rolls over, the sheet pulled down enough on his hip to let me see that he’s sleeping naked. I feel a familiar warm clench in my core.
His name slips past my lips without me even thinking about it.
“Gabriel.”
He stirs. His arm drops and his eyes open, finding me in the dimly lit room. I might’ve thought he’d be the kind of man who didn’t take kindly to being woken up, the kind of man who might instinctively reach for the gun I know he keeps in his nightstand.
But he’s placid, serene even.
“Thea?” His voice is heavy with sleep. He sits up slowly. “What’s wrong? Are you—”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
He stays silent, waiting for me to say more.
“I don’t want to be alone,” I admit. “I’m still mad at you. And I know I should probably stay away until I figure out how I feel about everything. But I—” My voice cracks a little. “I just can’t be alone right now.”
He continues to regard me silently. For a second, I’m sure that he’s going to tell me to leave him alone. But he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls the covers back without a word. I cross to the bed and climb in.
He doesn’t touch me. He just lies there. I can feel the tension and heat radiating from him.
“I’m sorry,” he says quietly.
“I know.”
“I should’ve told you everything from the beginning. I should’ve told you the first day.”
“Yes.”
“I was wrong.”
I let his words hang in the air for a long moment. Then I turn to face him.
“You made some bad calls. But you’re also right. If you’d come to me before the auction and told me the truth, I wouldn’t have believed you. And even if there had been even the smallest chance I did believe you, I would’ve run.”
“Still, I lied to you. Deceived you.”
“You did.” I reach out, my hand finding his in the dark. “But I understand why you did it, even if I hate that you did.”
His fingers close around mine, and he squeezes my hand gently. I wish that this small gesture didn’t affect me so much, but it does.
“I don’t know how to trust you,” I whisper. “You’re a man who used me and saved me all wrapped up in one. And I don’t know whether I’m falling hard for you or I’ve just convinced myself that I need you because you’re the only safe thing in a world that doesn’t want me dead.”
“I don’t know either,” he says finally after a long moment.
“But I know that when you’re not with me, I can’t breathe.
I know that every time I look at you, I see everything I didn’t know I wanted.
And I know for damn sure that if Kolya or anyone else touches you, I’ll burn this city to the ground. ”
I don’t have anything to say to that.
His hand moves to my face, cupping my cheek.
“Whatever this thing is between us, fucked up as it may be, it’s the realest goddamn thing I’ve ever felt.”
I close my eyes and kiss him.
It doesn’t feel desperate or frantic. It feels necessary. Natural even, like breathing, like I don’t need to hold myself in check anymore and I can just be.
He kisses me back, parting his lips, his tongue finding mine, his taste so familiar. Gabriel groans into the kiss, one hand sliding into my hair, the other finding the zipper at the back of my dress.
“Tell me to stop,” he says against my lips.
“No.”
“Thea.”
“I need this,” I say. “I need you.” I pull back enough to look into those gorgeous eyes. “That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m in your bed. I’m tired of pretending otherwise.”
His eyes search mine.
“Lie back.”
He unzips the dress the rest of the way slowly, peeling it off, his touch gentle, reverent. When I’m bare except for my underwear, he pauses.
“Bellissima,” he says, his eyes moving over my body. “Every time I see you, I forget how to think.”
He lowers his mouth to my collarbone, trailing kisses there. Then he moves to my shoulder, then to the swell of my breast. He takes his time, worshiping every inch.
When he reaches my stomach, the soft curve that I’ve spent my whole life hating, he stops, pressing another kiss there.
“Perfect. So fucking perfect.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I wipe them away as quickly as I can. Gabriel hooks his fingers into my panties and drags them down. Then he’s spreading my thighs and settling between them, his mouth finding me in that perfect way I need.
I gasp the moment his tongue finds my clit, my hands flying to his hair and holding him in place. He works me slowly—tongue, lips, fingers—until I’m writhing, gasping, and begging. I look down, watching him lick me, watching his fingers move in and out of my drenched pussy.
“Gabriel… oh God… please…”
“Not yet.” He looks up and flashes me a small smirk, like he knows just what he’s doing. “I want to savor this, savor you.”
He adds a second finger, curling it just right, hitting me in the G-spot, and I shatter. The orgasm is thunderous, rolling, hot pleasure coursing through my body. But he doesn’t stop, just works me through it until I’m trembling.
Before I have a chance to catch my breath, he’s over me, his eyes locked onto mine. He leans down and kisses my neck, goosebumps spreading across my body. I wrap my legs around him, bringing him closer, feeling his hardness press against my entrance.
“I want to see your face,” he says quietly. “I want to watch you when I’m inside you.”
I reach down and guide him exactly where I need him. He pushes in slowly, and we both exhale as he sinks into me.
“Dio,” he breathes. “You feel so fucking good every time.”
He starts to move slowly at first, and I love it, his cock stretching me out, pushing deep inside.
Then his pace picks up a bit, deep, rolling thrusts that make my back arch underneath him.
I lock my ankles at the small of his back, holding him in place, making sure he drives down in that exact way.
His hands find mine, threading our fingers together, pinning my hands above my head.
“Look at me,” he commands softly.
I do.
The intensity of his gaze, the raw need I see in his eyes, makes my chest ache.
“You’re mine, Thea,” he says. “Say it.”
This time there’s no hesitation, no second-guessing.
“I’m yours.”
“Sempre. Always.”
He increases his pace, my breasts bouncing with the power of his thrusts, and I’m already climbing again.
“Gabriel… I can’t… I’m going to…”
“Then come for me.” He reaches down, his thumb finding my clit, circling. “Come for me, bella.”
I clench around him, moaning his name, shaking from the pure intensity. He pounds me through it, and for a moment I think he’s going to come with me. But he holds back. He’s never done with me until he decides it’s time.
Gabriel kisses me deeply as the last traces of the orgasm fade. Then he pulls out gently and rolls us over so I’m on top of him.
“Again,” he says.
“Gabriel—”
“I’m not done with you yet.” His hands settle on my hips, squeezing the soft skin there. “Ride me. Take what you need.”
I’m already sensitive, already overwhelmed. But I want more. I rise onto my knees and sink down onto him.
“God… oh God…”
The angle is different, deeper. We both gasp at the new feeling of pleasure. I lean forward, resting my hands on both sides of his head, my breasts hanging in his face. He leans up just a bit, taking one of my nipples into his mouth. I moan at the sensation of his tongue on me in that way.
I start to move slowly at first, finding my rhythm. His hands guide me, but he lets me control it. And there’s something perfect and powerful in that, something that makes me feel less like his possession and more like his equal.
I pick up speed and lean back, chasing the building heat. His eyes search all over my body, as if he doesn’t know where to give his attention. There’s something like awe in his eyes, something that lets me know he means every goddamn word he’s said about my body.
“Bellissima,” he breathes. “Perfetta. God, just look at you.”
The third orgasm hits slower, deeper, coursing through me. I collapse onto his chest, trembling, my hips still grinding. His hands land on my ass and he pushes on it, hard, groaning as he thrusts up once, twice, then stills. He drains his seed into me, filling me with that perfect, thick warmth.
I close my eyes and focus on the orgasm, the sensation of him draining inside, the hardness of his body underneath me.
It’s all so perfect.
He wraps his arms around me, and for a long time, we just lie there, our heartbeats slowing, our breathing evening out. Then he shifts me to my side, holding me, stroking my hair.
“Stay,” he says. “Don’t go back to your room. Stay here. With me.”
I nod against his chest.
“Always,” I whisper. And I mean it—even though I’m still angry, still confused, still unsure if I can trust him.
I mean it.
Somewhere between the auction and tonight, between the lies and the truth and the terrifying vulnerability of it all, I began to fall in love with him.
The realization hits me like a damn train.
It’s the most terrifying feeling I’ve ever experienced. Love means vulnerability. Love means giving him the power to destroy me in ways Kolya never could. It means trusting the man who’s been looming over my life since I was a little girl.
And it means forgiving him for everything he’s done.
I don’t know if I can do that. Not yet. But lying there in his arms, his heartbeat steady under my ear and his hand gentle in my hair, part of me wants to try.
“Gabriel?” His name comes out in a whisper.
“Si?”
“I’m still angry with you.”
“I know.”
“And I don’t know if I can forgive you. Not completely. Not yet.”
“I know that, too.”
“But I…” The words catch in my throat. They’re too big. Too scary. And I don’t want to say them unless I know I mean them without a shadow of a doubt. So I choose others instead. “I’m glad I’m here. With you. Tonight.”
His arms tighten around me.
“Me, too, bella. Me, too.”
He presses a kiss to the top of my head. I close my eyes.
Tomorrow, I’ll have to face the full weight of it all. Tomorrow, I’ll have to figure out what love means when it’s tangled up in so much more.
But tonight? Tonight, I’ll let myself be held. I’ll let myself hope. And I’ll fall asleep in the arms of the man I may very well be in love with.