Chapter 16 #2
Elizabeth had also come to appreciate her cousin a little more.
She still thought him a rather silly man, but she could admit that he worked diligently in his parish and did his utmost to satisfy Lady Catherine's every whim.
Though she could not completely understand why, she understood that Charlotte was genuinely happy as Mrs Collins.
She supposed that Charlotte was happy to no longer live in fear of spinsterhood.
And it was nice to have a man dote upon her, even if it only was Mr Collins.
She felt that Mr Collins now seemed to realise, after her sharp denial of his proposal, that he was indeed lucky to have a girl even with the modest qualities of her good friend. Elizabeth was happy for Charlotte.
However, Elizabeth did not like Lady Catherine at all. She was rude, had an exceedingly high opinion of herself, and treated Elizabeth—and anyone else whom the great lady considered beneath her—with open condescension. It seemed she felt it beneath her to even attempt to be pleasant.
Her daughter Anne was a pale, sickly young woman who scarcely spoke a word.
Elizabeth found it difficult to understand why Lady Catherine so often declared that her daughter was engaged to Mr Darcy.
He was a serious man who appeared to desire a wife possessed of every conceivable accomplishment; how could he possibly love a lady who seemed to possess none?
It was evident that theirs would be a marriage of convenience.
Elizabeth could not help wondering how parents could be so selfish as to use their children to further their own interests without giving a moment's thought to their children' s own happiness.
◆◆◆
Mr Darcy sat quietly in the carriage on the way to Kent while his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, watched him.
He was reflecting upon the nearly six weeks he had spent at Pemberley with Georgiana.
He had achieved what he wanted: peace. Yet, although his days in Derbyshire had been everything he had hoped for, he was not satisfied.
Mr Darcy wondered, time and again, whether such a life was worth living.
He had worked hard over the past few years, accumulating wealth and influence, yet he had no one with whom to share them.
At that moment, he felt profoundly alone.
He did not have many memories of his parents, but he knew they had been happy together.
Without a doubt, they had been very good companions, even though they had never expressed their love in the way other couples did, nor had they minded spending long periods apart.
For years, he had searched for a woman with whom he could feel at ease, one who would be his companion, help care for his sister, and provide him with an heir.
He had never aspired to anything more, but ever since he had met Elizabeth, he had found himself wondering what it would be like to marry for love.
Sadly, he would never know. For the rest of his life, he would wonder what it might have been like to unite his life with that of the only woman he had ever loved.
The only thing he was certain of was that, if he could marry her, he would express his affection for her freely and would not be able to bear being apart from her for more than a few days.
"You are very serious, Darcy. Is something troubling you? Is anything wrong with Georgie?" Richard asked.
"No, do not worry. I am well, and Georgie is in London with Mrs Annesley. She was delighted because she would be able to visit her friend Lady Claire." Mr Darcy looked out of the carriage window before deciding to tell his cousin what he had resolved to do upon his return to London.
"Fitzwilliam, when I return to London, I shall speak to Lord Rockwell and ask his permission to court his daughter formally. It is time for me to marry, and I believe Georgie needs a sister such as Lady Claire. Besides, I am certain she will make a good mother."
Richard had to look away from his cousin. He did not want Darcy to notice his disappointment. Unable to hide his pain, he resorted to sarcasm.
"You are so romantic, Darcy. I am sure that when Lady Claire hears you speak of her in such terms, she will fall deeply in love with you.
Do not forget to tell her that you wish to marry her because it is time for you to marry, and because you think she will make a good sister to Georgie and a good mother to your children. "
What hurt Richard most was knowing that Lady Claire would be delighted to receive his cousin's proposal. He could not compete with a man like Darcy; a young lady such as Claire would never choose a second son over a wealthy landowner.
"You need not be sarcastic, Fitzwilliam. You know very well that I do not like to deceive anyone. Ours will be a marriage of convenience and nothing more. But I am sure we shall get along and lead a peaceful life," Mr Darcy replied firmly.
"Is that all you aspire to, Darcy? A peaceful life? If I had your fortune, I would aspire to a happy life with the woman I loved," Richard countered, visibly annoyed.
"You have no idea what it is like to bear the weight of my legacy and fulfil all the expectations attached to my rank and position." Mr Darcy was growing angry as well. He could not understand why his cousin had reacted so strongly.
"No, I do not, nor shall I ever. What I do know is that a man like you has both the freedom and the means to decide what to do with his life.
You have chosen to follow the path others have laid out for you.
Nothing prevents you from doing as you please; it is only your unwillingness to challenge a society to which you owe nothing, and which you despise.
In any case, do as you wish with your life, Darcy.
I only hope you can make Lady Claire happy.
She is a fine, sweet lady and deserves a happy life. "
With that, Richard picked up a book and pretended to read for the remainder of their journey.
Mr Darcy reflected upon everything his cousin had said, but he had already made his decision and was convinced it was the best course he could take.
He would be a good husband to Lady Claire, and perhaps, in time, he might grow to love her—but never with the passion and intensity with which he loved Elizabeth.
◆◆◆
Eleanor looked carefully at herself in the mirror.
She had just taken a bath and was putting on her chemise.
She never allowed anyone to see her completely naked, which was why she always bathed alone and put on some of her clothes before calling her maid to help her finish dressing.
Long ago, she had stopped looking at her legs in horror.
Daniel had always told her that she had nothing to be ashamed of.
He had been one of the few people who had seen her legs after the accident.
Many of the wounds had not yet fully healed when they met.
After they married, he took charge of her legs, and thanks to his devoted attention, she regained the full use of both.
Sadly, the accident had left her with ugly scars.
Marcus's appearance, however, had filled her with fear. A man like him, handsome and intelligent, could never truly love her after seeing her scars, especially the one on her right leg. Nor did she want his pity. She would rather die than see the horror in his eyes if he ever saw her legs.
She wiped away her tears and called for her maid to help her finish dressing and arrange her hair.
She had spent too many days in bed and was eager to resume her usual routine, especially after reading Elizabeth's letter.
She had told her that, after visiting her friend Charlotte, she would come to London and stay with her for as long as she wished.
‘If it were my decision, my dear Lizzy, you could stay with me forever.’
Eleanor was delighted because she had also received a note from her dear friend Eddie informing her of Jane's engagement to Matthew. She was eager to organise a dinner in honour of the future bride and bridegroom.
Mary and Kitty were pleased that Aunt Eleanor had finally recovered, and Eleanor was deeply grateful for their care and affection, which had brought them even closer together.
The girls were chatting animatedly in the drawing room when the butler announced that they had visitors.
General Sinclair and his niece, Lady Claire, greeted the two sisters warmly, and Mary asked Mrs Taylor to let her aunt know that they had callers.
Eleanor hurried downstairs to greet the newcomers. She was a gracious hostess. During her illness, many people had come to visit her, but she had been unable to receive anyone. Now she wanted everyone to know that she had recovered and was once again ready to receive callers.
"Good morning. Thank you very much for coming," Eleanor said with a smile, until she saw Marcus standing before her, elegantly dressed, incredibly handsome, and smiling warmly at her.
"My dear Lady Campbell, we would have loved to visit you sooner, but we were told that you were not feeling well.
I hope you are much better now," Marcus said as he stepped forward and kissed her hand affectionately.
"I do not know whether you have met this pretty young lady.
She is Lady Claire Sinclair, my beloved niece. "
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Campbell. It is an honour to be in your home," Claire said shyly.
Eleanor immediately felt sorry for the young lady. She could tell that she was timid and was doing her best to be amiable.
"The pleasure is mine, Lady Claire. Please, sit down and allow me to introduce you to my two nieces."