5. Indecisive
Raela kicked at another mushroom, breaking up the forming circle, before she gathered the stem and root to plant somewhere else. It was bold of the ring to grow so close to the cottage; it should have known better. They weren’t evil things, mushrooms, but they did have a propensity to allow evil through when they circled up. Portals to other places that allowed other darker magics. At least, that’s what her aunties said.
Portals. Why hadn’t her knowledge of portals triggered Raela to question her existence in the forest and the world? Why hadn’t they made her wonder about other places or where she was from? She was grateful for her aunties’ care. They had educated her. They had loved her. But how was it loving to keep things from her?
She pressed the mushroom into the earth beside an old oak tree—this one topped with red and speckled with white—more ferociously than strictly necessary. Then she clomped off to hang the laundry. Throw. Clamp. Throw. Clamp. Throw. Clamp. The wind whooshed with the flick of her hand, causing the dress to whip around the thin vine and slap Raela in the face.
With a grunt, Raela grabbed the dress and heaved it back into the basket. Raela formed a fist to stop the wind from sweeping around her feet.
“Your magic seems strong today,” Auntie Mo said from behind her. “The earth shakes with your every step.”
Raela took a deep breath. “Just finishing up some chores.”
“Like a bear?”
Irritation bubbled to the surface. “Sure, Auntie Mo.” Raela fought to reel back her frustration. It wasn’t her auntie’s fault that she had a splinter in her mind, itching, prickling, and pestering her. Probably. Or more likely it was that twice-cursed, no-good, woods-traipsing man who had dared step inside their forest. If he hadn’t shown up, she still could have been content. Happy.
But also ignorant.
Thoughts of him had kept her up entirely too late last night.
“Well, when you’re done getting the bee out of your hair, would you go check on the irises? I have a bad feeling that this week’s sunshine has been too much for them. Coax them back to strength like I taught you. Call the water if you must. Or grow a bit of shade if they are too beaten down.”
Auntie Mo always had a bad feeling about everything. Unfortunately, she was often right. Raela took a slow breath through her nose, attempting to calm her temper. “I’ll head right there. After this …”
Cupping Raela’s cheek, Auntie Mo smiled. Raela almost pulled away, but her Auntie’s eyes lined with a rim of tears. “You are the dearest creature. I hope you know that.”
Blinking, Raela said, “Um. I love you too.” She didn’t mean to lift the end of the sentence, as if it was a question, but Auntie Mo wasn’t known for her gentle affection … or for crying. Ever.
Auntie Toru emerged from behind the house walking toward the apple trees, one hand on her cane, the other resting on the ancient elk. When she saw them, she immediately burst into tears and stumbled hastily away.
What was with them today?
“On with you, now,” Auntie Mo said, patting her apron as if to gather herself. “We’ll see you tonight. We need to talk about your birthday dinner.”
“That’s next month, Auntie.”
“Never too early to plan. What if the flowers get blight? We could pick and hang them now to be ready then. Plan like a squirrel, I always say.” And with a snuffle, she bustled away, her little legs moving double-time back into the kitchen.
Something was definitely going on. They were notoriously emotional on their memorial day and maybe a day or two leading up to it … but they were usually more cheerful afterward, more hopeful, more anticipatory …
She tossed her hands into the air in surrender. Who could understand their whims? Raela stashed the basket beside the house and made her way east, toward the iris patch, singing a song to settle herself as she walked. The jays followed beside her.
“Run little mink, the storm is on its way.
Rest from your hunting and go another day.
The lightning is flashing, the wind is yet fierce,
but sleep in your cave, safe and unpierced.”
The lullaby was one of her favorites, one of Auntie Shou’s, of course, and apparently, a favorite of the birds as well. When she paused to climb over a fallen log, there were loud squawks of displeasure at her silence.
“Sorry, friends,” Raela murmured. She continued the song for another verse as she approached the tall, open irises her auntie had sent her after.
Irises that looked absolutely perfect.
The sun was warm but not burning. Raela stuck her finger in the earth, which was well hydrated. The wind was cool, the petals vibrant, and the stalks strong and growing. She used magic to pull a bit of water from the deeper soil and push it around the roots, but these were fundamentally healthy plants.
Was Auntie Mo more paranoid than usual? Or… was this a deliberate attempt to send Raela away from the northern meadow?
She turned in the direction of that meadow. Where was he now? Would he come back? What was a man like?
A quiet loping gallop preceded a fluffy, surprisingly heavy bear cub that barreled into her. Raela reached down just as the cub’s brother collided against Raela’s thighs and knocked all three of them over with a puff of seed, pollen, and dust into the air.
“Ouch. You two are heavy. What have you been eating?” Raela laughed as she dragged her fingers into the thick fur between their fluffy ears.
The twins spoke in her mind so fast she could hardly register who said what. Berries. The blackberries! Acorns. Fish. I love fish. I love fish more! No, you don’t. And many other words that she didn’t catch. Mother Bear gave a low rumble, and with only a small complaint, the cubs crawled off Raela and turned to wrestle each other down the hill instead.
Mother Bear sauntered beside Raela and snuffed her hair in a gust of hot breath. Young one, you seem agitated. Is everything okay? The bear looked around the hill they were resting on. I see no fairy circles. Why have you come here?
“Auntie Mo was worried about the flowers. But they seem fine.”
She nudged Raela with her massive head. And what are you worried about?
Tapping her fingers on her leg, Raela spun around to sit by her bear. The sweet scent of the meadow warmed by the sun was soothing but didn’t wash away her agitation. “Where did I come from? Have I always lived here? Where are my aunties from? Do I have a mother or father? Or did I? What is beyond the forest, or up the mountain or down the river, beyond a day’s travel? What about—”
So many questions for someone so small. The huffing laugh from the massive beast sent Raela’s hair fluttering around her. Mother Bear sat heavily in the grass, sending seeds and dust billowing up and around them. These are questions I didn’t expect from you for a bit longer. What changed?
She shrugged. “Nothing. Everything. I don’t know. I’m thinking about things that had never occurred to me before seeing that man in the meadow.”
The bear nodded her massive head. He was quite handsome.
Raising an eyebrow, Raela looked sideways at the bear.“Do you know so many men that you could judge that?”
In my many long days, I have seen many men from many different walks of life. Most were wealthy and important. A few were handsome.
Seeing his chiseled face in her mind, with his dark brown hair and green-gray eyes, Raela thought he might be handsome. Her cheeks felt strangely hot at the idea.
Raela shook her head to clear the thoughts. “Auntie said I should never see or speak to him again.”
Your aunties love you and want to protect you.
“But I think they’ve been keeping things from me.” The bear’s sharp silence told Raela she was right. She shook her head, trying to ward off another wave of frustration and anger.
“What if too much protection is stifling? So much shade that I can’t grow?”
Many things feel stifling to the young and vibrant. It is also easy to drown flowers in too much water. But they do all things out of their love for you.
Raela inhaled, reminding herself of the values she had been taught. Obedience. Gentleness. Respect. She could be a good girl. An attentive, properly respectful young lady. But … She exhaled, releasing more questions. What about curiosity, the pursuit of knowledge and … and … keeping the forest safe? Those were good too. Wasn’t she a guardian of the forest? Wasn’t she its protector? Raela wasn’t trying to disobey. Just … to collect information. Observe and defend their forest against …. Against handsome intruders.
Raela picked at her thumbnail. “And what if I choose differently?”
All you can do is make the best decision at the time with the knowledge that you carry.The bear crooned, batting playfully at her cub. I trust your instincts, and the forest will protect you too. Just be wise, do not form attachments, and stay in the forest. I wish I could go with you, but I sense you need to do this on your own. I will always be here if you need me. Just call. And don’t worry about the wolf, the light seemed to like him too.
With that breath of permission, Raela rose to her tiptoes, kissed Mother Bear on her fuzzy cheek, and skipped down the hill, patting each cub in turn. Her instincts burned with curiosity. Her aunties had trained her to defend herself, too, if needed. But she needed to ask some questions.
And maybe, she would get some real answers.