Chapter 8
Sabina
“What if he finds out it was me and comes after me?” Nell whispers, breaking the silence. “What if he ends up remembering what happened and looks for me?”
I breathe deeply. Part of me wants to reach out and stroke her cheek, assure her she's safe.
Tell her I'll fight by her side if necessary.
I feel an inexplicable need to protect her.
Too intense. It's as if every cell in my body fights to wrap around hers, to create a shield between Nell and the world.
It's something terrifying and at the same time wonderful.
And it's precisely what Kaelisar expects to happen.
“He won't,” I respond coldly. “The sedative and lack of oxygen will have left him with mental gaps. Anyway, it's not very different from what you face in your usual work, is it? You're a thief, after all.”
The tone of my voice sounds much sharper than I intended, and I can sense her disappointment. Even so, I keep my gaze fixed on the road, avoiding any eye contact.
“I guess you're right,” she murmurs, turning to press her forehead against the window.
For several minutes, only the purr of the engine and the occasional gear shift can be heard.
Suddenly, Nell turns toward me. Her heterochromatic eyes shine with a mix of confusion and anger.
“Why are you talking to me like this? Before entering Voronov's mansion you seemed very worried about me, and now you're acting like I'm hysterical. I know very well what that man is capable of doing to those he considers his enemies.”
I swallow without finding an answer. What can I tell her?
That soulmates exist? That I feel an attraction to her that defies logic?
That possibly Sylara and Althea are feeling something similar?
Everything is happening according to Kaelisar's plan, and I'll do everything possible to make sure that doesn't happen.
“It's fine, I'm sorry,” I limit myself to saying. “I'm just tense. The mission went well and that's all that matters.”
“Yeah, well I feel like I just barely escaped from a predator,” she confesses in a low voice. “And the air thing... fuck, it was like something inside me suddenly woke up. Like it had always been there, asleep, and suddenly, boom! I took the air from his lungs. I just can't believe it.”
I can't help but feel admiration. Without training, without preparation, she managed to manipulate air with enough precision to incapacitate a man Voronov's size. Even among Fae with natural talent, that's extraordinary.
“You're very powerful,” I admit in a moment of sincerity.
“Is that good or bad?”
“Depends on who you ask,” I murmur.
I fall silent. I don't even know the answer myself. I don't know Kaelisar's plans, but knowing him, it won't be anything good. The more power Nell holds inside, the stronger the bond between us, the easier it will be to achieve whatever he's planning.
**
Althea jumps up as soon as we enter the apartment.
“Are you okay? Fuck, I almost had a heart attack with all that waiting.”
I watch as her gaze moves from me to Nell. I know what she's seeing: the reddened eyes, the paleness, the almost imperceptible trembling in her hands. Nell tries to hide it, but fails spectacularly.
“The mission was a success,” I inform, leaving the keys on the table. “Nell managed to locate the safe and get images of the model.”
“What happened?” Althea asks, entirely ignoring my report. Small sparks jump from her fingers as she watches Nell. “What did that son of a bitch do to her?”
“Voronov tried to...” she starts, though she's unable to keep talking.
She doesn't finish the sentence. She doesn't need to.
“I'm going to kill him. I swear I'm going to kill him,” the Kobold growls, taking a step toward the door. “I'm going to enter that mansion and burn him alive from the inside out.”
“Althea,” Sylara's voice is calm but firm. She appears from the room where she was processing the data. “Sit down, please.”
“Did you hear what she said? That... that son of a bitch...”
“I heard everything through the earpiece,” the elf interrupts, and for the first time I see a crack in her usual composure.
She's pale, even for her, with pressed lips.
“I was about to tell Sabina to go in when you solved it yourself.
Believe me, if I could, I'd make the roots of his trees strangle him while he sleeps.”
Sylara approaches Nell slowly. I watch as she places a hand on her cheek with a delicacy that provokes a stab of something I don't want to name, but that looks too much like horrible jealousy.
“Are you okay?” she asks in a low voice. “And I don't mean the mission.”
Nell swallows. For a moment, her tough girl facade crumbles completely.
“I don't know,” she admits. “But I will be, don't worry.”
Althea approaches too, wrapping an arm around her.
The contrast is almost comical: the enormous Kobold enveloping the small Fae.
But there's something in the image that squeezes my chest. Both of them are comforting her.
Both feel the same as I do. But I'm here, standing, maintaining the distance I promised myself to keep.
Though barely twenty minutes ago I was hugging her in the van.
Though I can still feel her body trembling against mine.
Nell lifts her gaze and finds me.
There's a question in her eyes. Why aren't you here with them?
I have to look away.
The Fae lets herself fall on the couch and closes her eyes for a few moments.
Unable to help it, I watch her: her short, rebellious blond hair, the pursed lips, the tension in her shoulders.
Shit, I'm lost. Something in her attracts me in a way I've never experienced, and I just want to sit next to her and protect her.
“That safe model is the best on the market,” she suddenly sighs. “Triple biometric lock, rotating numeric code, and countermeasure system in case of tampering.”
“Do you know how to open it?” I ask nervously.
Nell shakes her head, frustrated.
“I don't, but I know someone who could help us,” she announces, taking out her cell phone. “Cherie is the best with safes. If anyone can open that thing, it's her.”
“Do you trust this girl?” Althea growls, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Enough,” she responds, shrugging. “We won't tell her what we need it for exactly. We'll just ask her for technical information. We'll have to pay her well, though.”
While Nell makes the call, I retreat to the kitchen with the excuse of looking for something to drink.
I need distance. I need space to breathe.
My skin begins to dry out, something that happens to me every time I feel intense emotions out of water.
I open the faucet and submerge my arms up to the elbow. The relief is immediate.
“Are you okay?” Sylara's voice startles me. I hate that the elf doesn't make any kind of noise when walking.
“Perfectly,” I lie, closing the faucet with more force than necessary.
“The connection between you two is obvious,” she murmurs, leaning on the counter.
“I don't know what the hell you're talking about.”
Sylara smiles, that enigmatic smile that elves perfect over centuries.
“You know. You've felt it from the beginning, just like me, just like Althea. It's the bond,” she whispers, leaning toward me. “And you're fighting against it with all your strength, because it's what Kaelisar wants to happen.”
“Of course I'm fighting,” I hiss, keeping my voice low so Nell can't hear us. “I'm not going to give Kaelisar a perfect weapon. A bonded Quad under his control? That would be dangerous. Don't you see? We're just pieces on his chessboard.”
“And you think by resisting you'll change the game?” she asks.
“I'm not going to give him that satisfaction.”
“We'll find a way to free your sister,” the elf promises.
“Anyway, what Kaelisar intends is just a desperate action.
For now, Nell has only established a bond with you.
The rest of the unions may never be created.
It could even be that we end up killing each other out of jealousy.
It wouldn't be the first time that happens in a bonded Quad. The variables are too complex to be calculated, even for Kaelisar.”
“Yeah, well, I'm not going to test it, so I don't care if he's calculated them or not,” I growl.
Sylara looks at me with that irritating calm.
“There's something else, isn't there?” she insists.
I clench my teeth. Damn elves and their ability to perceive everything.
“I remind you I'm a siren,” I whisper. “I manipulate people's will. What if what Nell feels isn't real? What if I'm affecting her without realizing it? I don't want... I don't want her to confuse her true feelings with...”
“Cherie is on her way,” Nell announces from the living room, interrupting the conversation, which I'm enormously grateful for. “She'll be here in about twenty minutes.”
We return to the living room, and I put on a careful mask of indifference. Nell watches me as if looking for some sign that our connection is still there. I just return a cold look, breaking inside, but aware that it's best for everyone.
To my surprise, instead of pulling away, she approaches me.
“Did I do something to you?” she asks, lowering her voice and placing a hand on my waist. “Because since we left Voronov's mansion, you're acting like my presence bothers you.”
Her touch is intoxicating. My whole body trembles. I can perceive the slight scent of sweat mixed with a perfume that reminds me of rain in summer. It's damn hard to resist.
“You haven't done anything,” I respond, taking a step back to separate from her. “I just need space.”
Nell looks at me with something that seems like pain.
“You always pull away,” she murmurs. “You touch me and then move away like I burn you. Why?”
I have no answer. Or rather, I don't have an answer I can give her. Luckily, the doorbell interrupts our conversation.
Cherie turns out to be a petite woman with striking purple hair and a few piercings.
“Nell!” she exclaims, hugging her hard. “What kind of trouble have you gotten into now?”
“The usual, you know,” the Fae responds. “We need your help with a somewhat special safe,” she adds, showing her the photographs.
Cherie whistles, impressed.
“What league are you playing in now?”
Then her gaze stops on each of us. As soon as our eyes meet, her face lights up with obvious interest. Though I suppose the way I'm manipulating her mind has a lot to do with that sudden interest she's felt. It hurts to do it, but I can't think of a better way for Nell to forget about me.
“I see you've improved your company,” she adds.
“They're Sylara, Althea and Sabina. Temporary work companions.”
“A pleasure,” this Cherie responds, stopping in front of me longer than necessary. “Especially meeting you,” she whispers with a smile.
Without needing to look at her, I can feel the jealousy in Nell. I know she's annoyed, I perceive it clearly in the change in her energy.
“We have a matter with a safe, remember?” she interrupts, her tone of voice somewhat higher than normal.
Cherie focuses on the images, explaining the mechanisms with impressive technical knowledge. While she talks, she approaches me occasionally, brushing her arm against mine.
“I could go with you,” Nell's friend suggests. “It would be easier if I open the safe.”
“No,” the Fae's response is sharp. “It's too dangerous.”
“Okay, okay, whatever you want. It's not the first time we've done something dangerous. If you change your mind, call me. I'll show you how to open that contraption, but the slightest error, everything goes to shit. I'm warning you now.”
After the explanations, she says goodbye and slips a paper into my hand with her phone number and a pretty brazen wink.
“In case you feel like having a drink without all these... tensions around,” she whispers.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see how Nell's expression changes, and when the door closes, the silence in the apartment is almost suffocating.
The half Fae gets up abruptly and heads to the window, giving me her back as she presses her forehead against the glass. Small air currents have formed around her that subtly stir the curtains.
The pain I feel is physical, as if they're separating my flesh from bone. Sirens aren't made to deny our feelings; we flow toward them like water seeking its level. Resisting this attraction goes against my deepest nature. Without a doubt, the elf could control herself better. I can't.
But I must.
Even if it destroys me inside.