CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE LUCY
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
LUCY
From the back patio, you can hear the waves in the ocean beyond the sand dunes rolling in, gently crashing against the shore.
I sit down on the edge of the lounge chair beside the pool, closing my eyes, feeling the cold air against my skin, the smell of salt and sand wrapping around me like a cloak of familiarity.
Today was an exhausting yet fulfilling day. Everyone came together to celebrate this little life that’s growing inside me. The little girl I cannot wait to feel in my arms. The little girl who’s already loved by so many people.
Truly, I’m so incredibly grateful for the people in my life. Friends and family who have been nothing short of supportive.
But most importantly… I’m so grateful for him.
The glass door quietly opens and shuts behind me. Theo’s footsteps are light and my senses are so attuned to him, my body knows it’s him without opening my eyes. The lounge chair dips as he sits down behind me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling my back flush against the front of him.
“It’s cold out here, love,” he murmurs against the side of my neck. “What are you doing out here?”
I relax into him, my head resting back against his shoulder. “Just thinking about today.” Warmth fills my chest. “I can’t believe how many people came for the baby shower.”
“A lot of people love you,” he whispers, pressing his lips to the soft spot beneath my ear. “And they already love this baby.”
The water ripples softly in the breeze. “I just can’t even believe it.” I slide my hands over my stomach. “A little over a month and she’ll be here.”
“I don’t know how it’s almost time.” Theo’s hands rest on my own. “I can’t wait to meet her, though.”
My heart skips a beat. “Neither can I.”
Thinking back on when I found out I was pregnant and where we are now feels so surreal at times. Theo has stepped up in unimaginable ways. He’s a father already and I don’t know if he truly understands. Everything he’s done is exactly what a real father would do.
He’s shown up for me the same way his dad did for his mom, and I think that’s a true testament of the way he was raised. He’s such a good person. The best person I know.
“Have you thought of names at all?”
I trail my fingers over his, tracing the veins in the back of his hands. “A few. My grandmother’s name was Rosalie, and I’m torn between that and a few other names.”
“Hmm,” he murmurs, the sound vibrating down my spine.
“I like that. Little baby Rosie.” His voice is soft in my ear, a tender embrace.
“When we get home, I want to get everything set up in the nursery,” he says softly, his fingers trailing over my stomach.
“I’d like to have everything ready to go, that way we don’t have to worry about it. ”
“I think that’s a great idea. From what I’ve been told, I’m only going to get more uncomfortable the closer we get to my due date.” My stomach does a somersault. The thought of giving birth is something I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about.
It terrifies me beyond measure and there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s no going back now. This baby is going to have to come out one way or another.
“Well, I’m here to make sure you are comfortable,” he kisses the side of my face, “and to take everything off your plate.”
I turn my head against his chest, my eyelids fluttering open. “You’re too good to me.”
His right hand moves away from my stomach and his fingertips brush against the side of my face as he tucks my hair behind my ear. “I just want you to be good, you know?”
He’s been amazing through every step of this pregnancy.
“I’m so grateful for you,” I say, my voice soft as I turn in his arms, sitting sideways to get a better look at him. “I don’t know how I would have gotten through any of this without you.”
He trails his fingers down the side of my face, his palm cupping my jaw. There’s such a tenderness to him—adoration pours from his green eyes. “You’ll never have to know, Luce. I’m not going anywhere.”
Emotion lodges in my throat. I want this. Me and him and this little girl. Everything else feels so insignificant anymore.
“Ever?”
His eyes slowly search mine, a glint of hope shimmering in them. “Not if you don’t want me to.”
I swallow hard over the lump in my throat. “Theo…” My voice trails off, my heart hammering away in my chest. I’ve been tiptoeing around this for weeks, waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up. Not wanting to bring it up because I didn’t want to shatter the illusion. “What are we doing?”
His brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
“I mean us. This.” I let out a shallow breath. “Are we still pretending?”
He’s silent for a moment. “Lucy, Lucy, Lucy,” he murmurs softly. “I was never pretending.” His chest rises as he inhales deeply, slowly releasing it. “I’m in love with you.”
The air leaves my lungs in a rush. Oh my god. “What?”
“I love you,” he says without hesitation, the words falling from his lips with such declaration, hitting me in the center of my chest. “I’ve loved you for a long time.”
“But you—” I let out a ragged breath, my stomach fluttering as he stares back at me, his gaze unwavering. “For years, you’ve never wanted anything more with me. You’ve always kept me at arm’s length in the friend zone. You clung to that promise of never ruining our friendship.”
Both of his hands cup the sides of my face. “You’re the most important person in my life, Lucy. My feelings for you have always scared the shit out of me. You’re everything to me and the thought of not having you in my life terrified me.”
My body stills, my pulse racing. “What makes you think I wouldn’t be in your life?”
“What if I did something to fuck things up? What if I wouldn’t amount to what you deserve?” He lets out a ragged breath. “Lucy, love,” he murmurs, his fingers trailing over my parted lips. “I’ve always wanted more with you.”
My heart is an unsteady mess in my chest. Warmth spills into my veins as the butterflies flutter in my stomach. “You have?”
“Yes,” he admits, sucking in a breath, his eyes burning into mine. “You are everything I’ve ever wanted.”
He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. He’s the only thing I’ll ever want.
“I love you.”
His face shatters and in one fluid movement, he has me on his lap, his hands cradling the sides of my face. “Say it again.”
My hands are on his chest, my hair a curtain around our heads. His heart hammers beneath my palm. I’ve waited a lifetime for this moment, thinking it would never, ever come. “I love you, Theo.”
He breathes out a strangled sigh of relief as he pulls my face to his, the words hanging in the air around us as my lips crash into his.
I melt against him, into him, the boundaries between us ceasing to exist. My hands are in his hair, his hands are on my hips, holding me in his lap as he kisses me back with an intensity that rocks me to my core.
The air around us shifts.
Longing, desire, desperation—they collide, mixing, wrapping around us in a cloak of emotion. It’s as if the levees have broken. They’ve given way and there’s nothing stopping us anymore. No bullshit promises, no facades of seeing other people.
It’s just him and I… honest, raw and bare.
His tongue is soft and warm, tangling with mine, his hands wrapping around me, sliding up to the middle of my back, holding me closer, like he’s afraid if he lets me go, I’ll vanish into thin air.
The contrasting emotions of the moment tighten my chest. The tenderness.
The heat. The way he holds me as if I’m a precious artifact he’ll never surrender, yet he kisses me hard, leaving me breathless.
A soft moan escapes me, and his hands slide down to my waist, his grip tightening on my hips in response.
“Jesus, Luce.” He groans against my mouth, his voice rough. “I need to be inside you, love. I need to feel you wrapped around me.”
Heat sears through my body, my center pulsating as his words vibrate though my core. I’m flushed and dizzy, drunk on him. He shifts back, his eyes hooded and filled with desire as they drag over my face. The look alone has my body on fire.
“Well,” I start, my voice low, my brows lowering as I challenge him, “what are you waiting for?”
He’s on his feet in an instant, his hand slipping into mine as he drags me to my feet. I gasp as he tugs me closer, pulling me flush against him with the curve of my stomach between us. “Are you mine, Lucy?” he growls, his chest rising unevenly, his blue eyes darkening.
“Yes,” I breathe, my head tipping back to meet his gaze. “I always have been.”
His hands are on my hips, his eyes shifting between mine. “Fuck,” he mutters softly as his mouth crashes into mine. He steals the oxygen from my lungs, kissing me like I’m the key to his survival.
Kissing me like he’s mine.
One hand curls around my back, sliding up my spine as the other spreads across my stomach.
It’s protective and possessive and I fear I may come completely undone right here on the back patio.
Instinctively, I shiver and I’m not sure if it’s from the way he’s kissing me or from the cold air around us.
“Need to get you inside,” he murmurs against my mouth, backing me toward the house. He stumbles over a crack in the concrete, and I laugh breathlessly against his lips. Theo barely reacts, his balance not even affected as he’s too focused on me to care about anything else.
My back slams into the glass door and he reaches around me, sliding it open and pushing me inside. He chuckles softly, pulling away a fraction of an inch as he closes it. His eyes are on mine, and he lets out a ragged sigh, dipping his forehead to rest.
A moment passes and my name falls from his lips, quiet and wrecked before his mouth crashes into mine again.