Chapter Three
Finn
Sitting by a fancy hotel’s private pool in Miami should’ve been the perfect place for guys our age to be. However, it was shit. Not fun at all. The whole morning wasn’t even close to enjoyable.
Thankfully, the brothers didn’t let their heated, drunken words spill over into the next day. I was also thankful Ryder didn’t just hop on a flight home like Tyler had sworn he would.
They were, however, quiet. Miles was hungover as all hell, so he had more of an excuse. Ryder less so. He spoke when spoken to, and wasn’t rude to anyone, but it was clear he’d rather be anywhere else than sitting by that gorgeous pool with us.
The rest of the guys did their best to lighten the mood or just enjoy themselves. Tyler rambled on about the jet skis we were supposed to rent later, while Jason read his book, but Connor kept trying to make Miles laugh.
Connor did that shit whenever Miles was in a bad way in college. It was annoying post-rager, after waking up in a frat house bathtub, but it worked. Miles would always laugh. Connor was satisfied with a mild chuckle that morning in Miami.
“That’s what I’m saying, man, hangovers are just your body’s way of telling you last night was legendary,” Connor said, almost pushing Miles off his lounger.
Miles groaned, and I laughed too loud. It wasn’t true, or funny, but Connor kept the jokes coming, and I kept laughing. Trying hard to pretend everyone was having a great time.
Miles wrapped his arms around his torso. “Fuck that, bro. Hangovers are your body’s way of warning you not to do tequila shots at two in the morning.”
Tyler pushed his sunglasses down his nose. “Hey now, don’t blame tequila. It’s not her fault.”
“You never blame the booze, and it’s always the booze’s fault.” Miles laughed for real for the first time that morning.
“Wise words, Kilo,” Jason said, without looking up from his book. “Just remember that the next time we’re on shot five.”
“Eh, fuck that. For this weekend, anyway.” Miles sat up more. “Just don’t tell Bree.”
We laughed. Jason, too, but he rolled his eyes and went back to his book. All the way at the end of the row of lounge chairs, Ryder sat quietly and alone.
Why did I hate that so much? Ryder was wrong the night before, but he looked so isolated.
He didn’t know those guys. Not like Connor, Tyler, and me all knew each other.
Jason was in the same boat as Ryder, but the groom wasn’t pissed at him.
Miles ignoring his brother was kinda fucked up, and I felt for the guy.
Would I have felt that way if Ryder hadn’t been flirting with me… Maybe? Maybe I would’ve felt even worse for him if he didn’t. It was a confusing knot I didn’t spend too much time on.
“We’re jet skiing, though, right, bro?” Tyler was insistent.
Miles huffed and sat back. “Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna go. But I swear to God, if you, or whoever my partner is, tries to jump waves and shit, I’ll cover your back in puke.”
“Then you should take a ski out yourself,” Ryder said, shocking us that he was paying attention. “If you can’t manage driving one yourself, then you shouldn’t go at all. No use vomiting on someone ‘cause you’re a baby and can’t handle being left out.”
The color drained from Miles’s face, only to fill back in bright red. “Why don’t you just shut the fuck up?” Miles tried to stand up, but couldn’t find his footing right away. “Fucking seriously. What the fuck is your fucking problem?”
“I don’t have a problem.” Ryder didn’t turn his head towards us.
Once Miles got up, he stomped over to his brother and yelled down at him. “Pout all morning at my fucking bachelor party, and the first thing you say to me is an insult? FUCK you, bro. Seriously.”
Ryder didn’t take it sitting for long. He stood and got in his brother’s face. “I’m not pouting, asshole. And I wasn’t insulting you. I was looking out for you. And whoever the fuck drives your ass around when you should be taking it easy. Or is that too hard for you to comprehend? Dickhead.”
“What the FUCK ever! You’ve been ignoring me this whole trip, and the only time you open your mouth is to say something shitty. This WHOLE time! Fuck you!” Miles took the tiniest possible step toward his brother.
I’d never been scared that the Beckett brothers were going to hit each other. But Miles was shouting, and the tremble in his voice was the most unstable I’d ever heard. He sounded hurt, but expressed it as anger.
“Ignoring you?! What the FUCK are you talking about?” Ryder’s volume went up, too, but carried a mocking laugh.
“Do you have ANY idea how hard it is for me to take off work? Come all the way down here for your bachelor party?” His arms were above his head.
“My own fucking brother. No. You don’t give a shit.
You don’t give a shit about me, or anyone.
But most of all, me. Your fucking brother. ”
Ryder’s emotion was clearer in his eyes than in his voice. He glared at Miles, beet red with flared nostrils.
Miles took another tiny step forward, and Ryder leaned in. Connor, Tyler, and I were up and heading toward them, but Jason got between them first.
Ryder said, “You’ve barely even looked at me. Jackass!”
Miles’s face crumpled. If Connor and Jason weren’t pushing him away from his brother, he would’ve hit him. I held Ryder’s shoulder, and Tyler’s hand was on his chest.
“Can’t you just be fucking HAPPY for me? You’re really a piece of shit. FUCK YOU!” Miles said.
“HAPPY FOR YOU?!” Ryder surged forward, but we had him under control. “I’m FUCKING here, aren’t I!?”
“YES! HAPPY for me! Not everything is about YOU!” Miles said, close to tears.
Ryder pushed Tyler and me off him with ease, but didn’t move otherwise.
“I’m fucking done. DONE. I’m leaving. I’m going the fuck home.
I can’t stand being near you right now.” Ryder picked up his stuff.
“Seriously, fuck OFF, Miles. I’m fucking DONE.
With this bullshit trip. With your bullshit wedding, and with you, my bullshit brother. ”
Tyler kept looking back and forth between them. “No, man. C’mon. Don’t say that. You’re not gonna leave. Just go and cool off.”
Ryder didn’t acknowledge him. Miles said, “GOOD! If you don’t want to be here, I don’t want you here. Just leave like a fucking pussy.”
Tyler and I stopped Ryder from surging forward. For the first time, the hurt in Ryder’s voice rang out. “You’re such a fucking asshole, Miles. We’re done.”
Ryder grabbed the last of his things and walked off. He didn’t storm or stomp or sulk. Just walked away with his head down, shaking it every once in a while.
The aftermath was different from the night before. Miles had a lot to say about his brother. Mostly curse words, and what kind of shit he was a piece of. After running through the adrenaline, Miles slumped down into the nearest lounger.
“It just fucking sucks, man. Why can’t he just be…” Miles lost the words and the thought.
Jason stood over him, hands on his hips. “Kilo, would the trip be better or worse if he left? We’re here for you, man. If he’s ruining it, then he should go. But I need to hear it from you.”
Miles glanced up at Jason, then away. “No. It would be worse if he left.”
I’d been there before. Only, we were fourteen on a double date, and the crisis was whether to wait for their ride or go over to his mom’s car. It felt juvenile and silly, but that wasn’t an opinion I could have in the moment.
“Okay,” Jason said. “I don’t know what’s going on with you guys, but how can we make it so you two don’t rip each other’s heads off again?”
“I don’t know. Tell him to stop being a nasty little bitch.” With his energy gone, Miles sounded even more like a fourteen-year-old.
“Seriously, Kilo. I’m trying to help here.” Jason drew a deep breath through his nose. “How about you guys switch rooms? Maybe it’s a little too much together time?”
I had to respect Jason. His ability to stay calm in the face of utter frustration spoke to how good a dad he must’ve been.
Instead of getting down in the weeds with the drama of it all, he was trying to find a solution that would keep the vacation on the rails while making sure Miles had the best possible time.
Miles returned some animation. “Yeah, that would be good. If he even wants to stay.”
“I’m sure he will,” Tyler said.
I said, “He loves you, man. If you tell him you don’t want him to go, he won’t.”
Miles’s jaw set. “I’m not saying shit to him. This is my fucking bachelor party. He should apologize to me.”
Jason turned to Tyler and me. “Do you guys wanna go talk to him?”
“Yeah,” I said right away.
As soon as we were out of earshot, Tyler said, “I’m not rooming with Connor. Or Jason. They’re cool, but I can’t sleep well with people I don’t know. I’ll move to Miles’s room, and Ryder can move into ours.”
A jolt of weird energy hit my stomach at the thought of Ryder sharing a room with me, but I ignored it. “I’m the best man, I should bunk with the groom.”
“Yeah, well, you know Ryder better than me. It makes sense, man. C’mon, don’t fight me on this.”
I’d let Ryder decide. If he was still there, that is. I couldn’t imagine Ryder leaving. Then again, a lot of things I never thought would happen had. Like Miles and Ryder being so upset with each other that they almost came to blows.
Or a man flirting with me, and kinda liking it.
Did I like it?
We were at Ryder’s door before I even realized I’d asked myself that.
Ryder answered after Tyler knocked once. He gave us a look, like we were the last two people he was expecting to open the door for.
“What’s up, guys?” Ryder said, just on the polite side of rude.
He wasn’t forthcoming with letting us into his room. It was awkward as all fuck. Ryder kept his eyes on me, but Tyler did the talking.
“Hey, man. You good?” Tyler said, leading to several excruciating seconds of silence.
“Yup, I’m fine. What’s up?” Ryder edged further away from polite.
“Mind if we, uh, come in?” Tyler said.