Chapter Eleven
Ryder
The buzzer went off in my apartment, and I hit the button without using the intercom. I was expecting him, and honestly, my heart was beating pretty fucking fast. Which isn’t like me with guys. But Finn wasn’t just any guy.
I paced, which wasn't like me either. Living on the third floor meant I had a minute or two before he reached me. Footsteps approached my door, and I fixed my face into a smile, hiding how anxious I was. Once I heard a knock, I opened it before there was another.
Lena, my younger sister, stood there, forcing me to refocus my gaze downward.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Her beautiful smile faded. “Wow, good to see you too, asshole.” She pushed her way past me into my apartment.
“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” I followed her into my living room. “I’m just surprised to see you. What are you doing here?”
“I haven't seen you since you’ve been back, so I wanted to drop by.” She flopped on my couch, making herself at home.
I was restless, which was even less like me in front of my sister, who was someone I was most comfortable with in the world. If Finn showed up, he wouldn’t feel the same way.
“I’ve been back for like three days.”
“Five days. You flew in on Monday, and it’s Saturday.”
“Whatever, Lena!” I threw my hands up.
“You’re being, like, really nasty right now.”
“Sorry, just.” I glanced at the buzzer, hoping it would stay silent until she left. “Kinda stressed right now.”
“About what?”
“Nothing, but can you go, actually?”
“Seriously?” She laughed without a drop of humor. “Okay, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck is going on right now.”
I resigned to my fate and sat next to her. It wasn’t like she was completely in the dark. “Finn’s coming over. I thought you were him when I opened the door.”
The sound she made was somewhere in between nails on a chalkboard and a teakettle about to explode.
“OH MY GOD, RYDER!” She hit me with the back of her hand, hard enough to hurt. “What the fuck do you mean, Finn’s coming over?! Like, coming over to talk about an exciting new business opportunity, or coming over, over.”
“He’s gonna be here any second. I don’t have the time for this.” She stared at me, blank-faced. “Closer to the second, I think. But he’s officially coming to plan the stag night.”
Lena rolled her eyes. “Oh God, that’s the lamest excuse ever.” She cackled. “But wait, why do you think it’s more of a hookup…”
My cheeks heated. “I just do, okay?”
“Not okay. Spill, or he’ll have to explain to Miles why he hung out with both of his siblings without him all night.”
“Oh my god, Lena, you’re killing me. Please, just go.
” More blank stares. I spoke fast. “We hooked up in Miami, and there’s nothing to plan for the stag night other than transportation, which is just him and me getting ride shares for the guys.
Okay?” My head tilted, and my eyes were wide.
“Now, can you go before he gets here and freaks the fuck out!?” I hissed.
Her face stopped moving after I said we had hooked up. I don’t think she even took a breath. “Like made out, or more?”
I rolled my eyes. “More. Happy? Please leave.”
“You asshole!” She hit me again. “And you didn’t tell me!? What the legit fuck.” She pouted.
“I’m not really into sharing details of my sex life with my little sister,” I said, meeting her in the sass department.
“Gross. You know what I mean.”
I pressed my back into the cushion. “I don’t know. It’s not my business to tell. He’s not gay or out or anything. It’s his stuff to share.”
Lena’s eyes widened, then tensed. “Holy fucking shit, you like him. Like, like-him, like-him.”
My heart beat faster, and I fumbled with my words. “No, I mean,” I chuckled. “I just, I mean, he’s a great guy. I’m just saying he’s a whole ass person, and this is his life, not mine to gossip about with anyone.”
Lena’s smile grew radiant, and she hugged my arm while resting her head on my shoulder. “Oh my god, Ry, you really like him. That’s amazing. I love that for you.”
“Lena, seriously,” I said, attempting to shake her loose. “You need to go. Now.”
She ignored both my overtures for her departure and attempts to get her the fuck off me. “You haven’t had anyone in so long. I was starting to think you lost the ability to feel emotions other than snark, anger, and annoyance.”
“I’m feeling at least two of those right now.”
Lena caught my eye. “Seriously, no joke, if it’s real, you should go for it. He is a great guy, and you two would make each other really happy. You do so much for everyone. You deserve genuine happiness, too.”
“Lena, I…” I huffed, but didn’t have time to finish the thought. The buzzer went off, and my throat closed. “Fucking shit,” I hissed, jumping off the couch.
She stood and gathered her purse, ready to leave. I said, “It’s too late now. He’ll see you walking out the door.”
“Okay, I’ll just say I dropped something off and was leaving. Maybe make a joke about how stupid the stag night is, so he knows you covered for him. But only if you let me know what happens.”
I pressed the button, letting him into the building, ignoring her. Less than a second passed when I let my sister up. Waiting for Finn dragged on.
There wasn't even a knock. I opened it as he approached my door and shoved Lena out. I’d never seen such fear on his face when he saw her. Thankfully, my sister is a good actress.
“Oh, hey, Finn!” She hugged him. “Wish I could stay to hang out for a bit, but I’ve got to go. I can’t believe he has you two planning what’s basically his second bachelor party.” She laughed. “I swear to God, I’ll be nowhere near as much of a Bridezilla when I get married.”
Finn recovered. “I know, but the work of a best man never ends,” he said with a chuckle.
Lena laughed too, hugged me goodbye, and said, “See you, boys, later. Have fun.”
Finn hadn't looked at me yet, but I saw his face pale at her comment as he walked into my apartment. Before I closed the door, Lena shot a look over her shoulder and winked. I rolled my eyes in return.
“What, uh… what was she doing here?” Finn asked.
“She just needed to drop something off from my mom,” I said, willing myself to stay calm. If I wasn’t, there was no way he’d be.
“Oh. Cool.”
We stood in silence at my doorway until I invited him into the living room. I sat next to him on the couch. “So, thanks for coming over. We should get to it.”
“Oh, uh, yeah.”
He was so on guard, so high-strung, it rubbed off on me.
I almost didn’t even notice what he was wearing.
Sneakers, calf-high white socks, gym shorts that came up to his mid-thigh, a sleeveless tee, and a backward baseball hat.
Even freaked out, he was still one of the hottest men I’d ever laid eyes on.
I liked Finn. A lot, actually. But it wasn’t as easy as Lena made it sound.
There were issues with him not being out to anyone, including himself, as well as the whole he-was-Miles’s-best-friend thing.
But there was more. Neither Finn nor I knew if he could like guys more than just sexually.
That wasn’t something I was willing to plumb, especially when he didn’t know he needed a plumber.
“Okay, the stag night is a Thursday, which means there’s no cover at Johnny Pete’s.
It’s college night, so it’ll be busy, but not packed like on the weekends.
You and I will get the rideshares from my parents’ place.
Then back there for the guys staying. The ones who aren’t can get their own to their place or hotels after. ”
“What about their cars at your parents’ house?”
“They’re big boys. They can figure out being dropped off or picking it up the next day.”
“Okay, yeah, true, makes sense.” He took a deep breath, dropping his shoulders. “Are you staying at your folks’ place?”
“Nope. No room. They’ll have two aunts and uncles each, seven cousins, and the groom. The four guy cousins are coming out with us that night.”
“I wasn’t sure if I needed to stay there that night, or just after the rehearsal.”
“Plan on after the rehearsal, but check with my mom if there’s room. You may have to sleep in the tub.” I laughed, and so did he.
“I’ve slept in worse places.”
“I’m sure you have.” I chuckled again. “And that’s about it.”
“Great,” he said, plunging the room into silence.
That conversation didn’t need to happen in person. I knew that, and so did he. We’d been texting nonstop since we got home, and I had already given him all of that information, if not all at once.
The rest of our texts read more like the banter of long-time male friends.
There was just this obliviousness to him that I found both endearing and frustrating.
Nothing sexual had come up. In fact, after we blew each other again that last night, we cuddled, watched stupid videos from his feed, then went to wake Miles and go to dinner with the guys.
I’d have to say that the last night was indeed the best night. Hands fucking down.
We stayed out late, but no one got drunk.
I didn’t drink at all. Finn and I planned on sucking each other off again, but he had passed out in his bed when I went to take a piss.
So I crawled into mine, and when we woke up to catch our flight, it was like we hadn't spent the previous day ingesting each other’s semen.
“So,” I said after several whole minutes of silence.
He smiled at me, but it wasn’t easy.
“You ever hear that joke, ‘This could’ve been an email’?” My voice was a loudspeaker in the quiet.
“Yeah.” He laughed, but maybe choked a little, too.
“This whole thing could’ve been a single text message. Not even a long one.”
“Yeah.” His laugh was so fake and painful it was adorable. “Guess it could’ve been.”
“So…”
Another laugh that I was sure took years off his life. “So… what?”
“So, why did you want to come over?”
It was an asshole move. I knew that. But seeing Finn’s cheeks bloom red and scramble to make a coherent thought was just too adorable to miss.