Chapter Twelve
Finn
My knees were in Ryder’s elbows, and his face was in mine. I was naked, and so hard a slight breeze could make me lose it. Ryder’s smile was devious, and his breath was warm on my neck.
Could he fuck me?
Yeah, he could. Pretty good, I’d think, knowing him.
Did I want him to?
It was so confusing when he first put his hands on me on the jet ski.
But so fucking hot, too. Had I wanted him to do that?
After our conversation at that bar in the booth, maybe I gave him that impression.
Or more likely, maybe I wanted to give him that impression, and I was just too thickheaded to realize.
I said yes on the jet ski. And I would’ve again. I said it in my head because I wanted it. I wanted it so fucking bad. But it scared the shit outta me.
Being fucked scared the shit outta me, too.
Would it hurt? Ryder was fucking huge. It had to.
At first, at least. But then feel good, right?
Why else do guys get fucked if it doesn’t feel good?
Maybe just the idea of another guy being inside them?
Fuck, that was a good point, too. If Ryder fucked me, I’d let another man’s enormous cock inside my body. Being fucked by a dude.
Fuck.
I wouldn’t spiral. No. I hadn't in so many fucking years. I was not about to let something like that take me down some dark fucking bullshit. When it would probably feel good anyway. Being eaten out felt fucking amazing. And when he fingered me? I shot my damn load. I told him I beat off that morning, but I didn’t tell him I’d been fingering myself daily since we got home.
Why didn’t I tell him that? He’d love to know.
Did I want Ryder to fuck me? Did I ever want a guy to fuck me? I wasn’t sure about other guys. Maybe? It sounded hot. And my finger felt amazing, I bet a cock would be better. But I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure about most things anymore. Add it to the list of things Finn doesn't know or understand.
I promised myself I wouldn’t spiral. But had I? Was I already? How much time had passed since he asked me? Too long. Ryder’s smile faded. I needed to answer.
But Ryder? Letting him put that thick, beautiful, pulsating cock deep inside me? Shoving it in and taking it out, over and over? Going crazy on me, feeling what it was like to really, truly be with him? With another man? Did I want that?
Fuck yes, I did.
“It’s no big deal.” Ryder kissed me. “Just thought you might like it.”
“Yes, you can.” A wave of relief crashed over me.
He smiled, so big and broad. “No, really, it’s okay. It was just a hot idea. I don’t even have condoms anyway, since I’m basically celibate and on PrEP.”
His cheeks were warm in my palms. “I want you to fuck me, Ryder. I wanted to say yes on the jet ski and didn’t get the chance. Now I have it, and I’m taking it.”
“Okay.” His smile changed, and he kissed me. “That just means I will fuck you, but maybe not today.” He kissed me again.
“No, I’m serious. I uh…” I felt the heat rise on my neck, but ignored it. “I’ve been fingering myself. Every day. Since we got home.”
Ryder laughed, shaking us. “My cock is thicker and longer than your finger, Finn.”
“I know.” I swallowed. It was nerve-wracking, not scary. “If I think about it, I want your cock inside me. Big and thick and stretching me.” I looked away. “And I think it would be hotter without a condom, anyway.”
His face had changed when I looked at him. Lust replaced that conciliatory smile, and his voice took on gravel. “Yeah, it would be much hotter to fuck you raw.” A flicker of something else crossed his face. “Are you sure?”
“Fucking absolutely,” I said, relieved again without reason.
“Okay then,” he growled. “It’ll be an honor to take your anal virginity.”
With one last peck on my lips, he made his way down my body again. I expected to feel my cock enveloped by the warmth of his mouth, but that wet heat landed on my hole.
“Fucking hell, man,” I groaned.
Before messing around with Ryder, I had no idea playing with my butt felt so good. I came in minutes, less than, when I fingered myself. But Ryder doing it? And using two fingers like he was, stretching me open in ways I never knew possible while licking at my core?
Fucking hell.
It wasn’t long before his mouth got busy licking my nuts, and the one finger from each hand became two from one. Then he did this thing, like bending his fingers inside me, and a huge gush of precum flowed down my red, pulsing cock.
“Fuck, man. Was that the… what do you call it? The male g spot?”
Ryder let my ball sack fall from his mouth and stilled his fingers inside me.
He chuckled. “Prostate. That’s your prostate.
It’s responsible for a lot of your male anatomy stuff.
If you massage it with, say, fingers, a dildo, or a penis, it can make some men come.
But for most guys, it just feels really good. ”
“Well, fuck me, it feels incredible.”
“That’s the idea,” Ryder growled, and massaged my prostate again. “Once I open you up.”
There was no pain, not even some discomfort.
In fact, it was like the best hand job I’d ever had.
My cock kept throbbing and leaking, over and over, getting ready to unload all over my belly.
I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted Ryder to fuck me.
Then maybe see if I was one of those guys who could nut from a prostate massage.
But then, he slipped a third finger into me.
I sucked my teeth and cursed under my breath. Ryder asked if I was good, and I told him I was.
It didn’t hurt, more like it burned a little.
Nothing serious, and no reason to stop him from opening me up, as he put it.
Fuck, that was a hot way to say it. Ryder was opening my body so he could put his cock inside me.
So he could fuck me. Jesus fucking Christ, I was about to be fucked in the ass by Ryder Beckett.
I didn’t realize I was moaning. Full on growling like a dog in heat. Not until Ryder withdrew his fingers, and with a chuckle, said, “You like that?” I nodded. “Ready for the real thing?”
My face heated for reasons I didn’t know, but I smiled and said, “Yeah, man. Fuck my ass.”
His face matched mine. But then it was gone.
“Shit.” He disengaged from my body and bent awkwardly to open the drawer on his side table.
It gave me a view of him I’d never seen, his abs and arm stretched out, displaying the hair on his chest and under his arm.
And his cock, standing tall, ready to take my innocence, topped with a manly bush.
“Lube,” he said, with the bottle in hand. “Good thing I jerked off in here a few nights ago.”
I chuckled. It wasn't funny, but as he applied the thick-looking clear liquid to his cock, the penis he was about to put inside of me, I was a little lightheaded.
It wasn’t apprehension, or fear, or regret. Far from any of that. It was just a bit overwhelming. In a good way. Mostly. It was about to happen. It might hurt a little, but knowing I was about to get fucked was more overwhelming at the moment.
Even more so when he pressed the head of his enormous cock to my hole and said, “Okay, breathe out. Then in. Deep breaths. Relax your whole body. Let every ounce of tension go.”
I couldn’t. I tried, but there was no release.
No relaxation. I kept my eyes closed and breathed in and out, deep like in a yoga class or something, but there was only more tension.
My body and mind felt tighter and tighter with each exhale.
Heat spread from my face to my chest, and my heart rate went up.
“Look at me,” Ryder said.
I opened my eyes, and he was there. Ryder. The man about to take my virginity. He wasn’t smiling, not exactly. His face was soft, kind, and patient.
“We don’t have to do this. I won’t be mad or upset, won’t look down on you, or be disappointed. We can get dressed and still be friends, still hang out. Or we can get each other off another way, or try again later if you want. But if we keep going, you have to want it.”
“I do want it.”
“Then look at me, take a deep breath, and relax.”
I stared into his eyes. I’d never looked at them so intently before. Dark blue that lightened into the pupil. Beautiful. But more than that. Safe.
It happened all at once. Being filled some place I didn’t know I could be. It didn’t hurt or burn, but it was a lot. My eyes went wide, and my mouth stretched open.
Ryder had entered me with what I had to assume was half of his cock. I was surprised. Ryder was shocked.
“Fuck, Finn,” he peeled his eyes away from mine to look at where we connected. “You just took most of me in one go.” He chuckled in pleased disbelief and met my eye again. “You have a really receptive ass.”
“What does that even mean?” I asked, short of breath.
He smiled. “Just that you’re going to enjoy bottoming. I kinda knew it. That’s why I asked.”
He moved deeper inside me as we spoke, and by the time we were done, Ryder had fully seated himself balls deep.
We didn’t break eye contact when he withdrew and reentered. Then again and again, going a little further each time until I moaned. Not some high-pitched thing, deep from my belly. It felt good, and I mean fucking good.
Ryder chuckled. My eyes had fluttered closed, but I opened them when he did. He said, “See? Told you.”
“Never doubted you.” I let my eyes drift closed again as his pace slowly but steadily picked up.
It was happening. I was getting fucked in the ass by another man. And I loved it. So many sensations. So many ideas. The sounds? Ryder’s heavy breathing, so masculine. And the smells? His cologne, deodorant, and like… him. Ryder. He smelled amazing all on his own. Fuck, man. Fuck me, man.