Chapter Twenty-Three
Roxy
W e make it to the building’s lower garage where Christian’s motorcycles are parked in a neat and orderly line, and the closer we get, the more mesmerized I am by their variety. The first is a cruiser, the same one we rode on our wedding day, a hulking chrome beast of a bike.
“These are sick,” Axel says in obvious awe. “Look at all this chrome.” He circles the first bike with wide eyes, his hands hovering over the handlebars. I’m not sure what he was expecting when we came down here, but I’m happy to see him impressed. For once.
“Go ahead.” Chris tips his head toward the bike.
Axel’s attentions snaps toward him. “Are you for real?”
Chris laughs. “Yes, I’m for real. Go ahead and get a feel for it.”
Axel wastes no time stretching his leg over the side of the bike and lowering down onto it. His hands grip the handlebars as a rare, full smile spreads across his face. “Dude. I’m in heaven.”
Christian meets my eyes, his own brimming with amusement. Then steps forward and begins coaching Axel through how to handle it. As he goes into all the parts he needs to know, I mosey toward the other bikes, checking each of them out.
When my eyes catch on the last one in the row, I stop. Blink. Then my stomach bottoms out.
I know that motorcycle.
Stepping closer to get a better look, I press a hand over my heart to slow its incessant pounding. The teal with splashes of pink. The matte black helmet attached to the handlebar. Even the phone mount—
Oh. Em. Gee. Christian, my husband , is my masked biker crush.
I sputter a laugh that’s laced with hysteria, then rush to cover it. My dream man is now my husband. And I had no idea. Slowly, so they don’t notice, I turn back to the guys and take Chris all the way in, right down to his riding boots.
Now that I look— really look—I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed before. Christian’s build is identical to that of the biker I’ve been watching online for the better part of a year. Same tall, muscular build, long, defined arms with just the right amount of veiny forearm, and strong, capable hands.
I can’t help but stare as the realization that I’ve been crushing on my husband for nearly a year crashes over me like roaring thunder.
“Rox? You okay?” Axel’s question jerks me out of my reverie.
“Huh? What?”
Chris’s attention flits from Axel to me. “He asked if you were okay.” Taking a step toward me with his brows drawn, concern flashes in his eyes. “Are you? You look a little pale all of a sudden.”
A giggle erupts, and I slap a hand over my mouth. Then I giggle some more. “I’m sorry. I’m, um, just.” I shake my head, willing my elation to calm the heck down. “I’m just really excited to see your bikes.”
His look of concern morphs into amusement. “Well, you’re free to hop on one too. Just...don’t hurt yourself.” His teasing wink sets an entire conservatory of butterflies loose in my stomach. They’re flapping and flying all over the place, refusing to settle.
I walk back to the bike my crush favors and run my hands over the leather seat. I bite my lips as intoxicating images of me riding on the back of this thing fill my head. In each one, I’m clinging to Christian, running my hands up over his chest, then down the sides of this thighs, resting my head against his back. But I’m more than just his backpack for a night.
I’m his wife .
Man, there go the butterflies again. Why does knowing this about him make him a thousand times more attractive? Maybe it’s because not only do I know Chris is a good guy online, he’s also the best person I know in real life. But why hasn’t he told me about his online alter ego? I press my finger along the sparkling pink stripes that strike through the teal when a startling realization has me gasping.
He put a ring in his profile.
HE PUT A RING EMOJI IN HIS PROFILE, effectively changing his relationship status online. The day we got married! Or at least, I think it was the day. All I know is that when I woke up and checked his social media, he was married. And I was married and—
Tears spring to my eyes so fast I don’t have time to wipe them away. I turn toward the cement wall, overcome with— gratefulness? Admiration? I don’t know, but it’s something I can’t quite describe. Or maybe I don’t want to describe it. I feel too much right now, and it’s too soon to be feeling things I’ve never felt before. Just because Christian is the biker I’ve low-key been fangirling over doesn’t mean I’m suddenly in love with him...right?
I press my hands to my flaming cheeks just as a loud engine starting behind me causes me to jump. I hurriedly swipe my fingers under my eyes to bat the stray tears away and turn.
Axel’s beaming at Chris, then at me. “How do I look?” he yells over the engine.
A laugh bubbles out of me. “You look great!”
Axel revs the engine, almost bouncing with excitement. Again, my heart swells to epic proportions. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him this happy that I could cry all over again. Maybe I will once I make it back to the safety of my bedroom. There’s only so much excitement my lonely little heart can take in one day.
I’ve been dying to bring up Christian’s secret all night. But I’m not sure how to do it without making everything between us awkward. Not only will I be admitting that I’ve been watching and following him for months, but I’ll also have to fess up to my username. I thought about deleting all my comments on his videos, but that would take forever. A forever I don’t have.
Then there’s the possibility that he could stop posting. If he knows I’m a follower, it could make it weird for him. That’s the last thing I want to do, especially because he’s never told me about his little side gig. And he shouldn’t have to. It’s not like he owes me that.
But man, do I want to spill the truth. Maybe I can ask Chantelle about it. I’ve seen that mystery man ride with others in his videos, but I never put two and two together. If Chris is indeed the same biker, I’m sure Chantelle would know.
Me: Hey. Can I ask you something?
When she doesn’t answer right away, I take that time to hop in the shower before bed. Chris and Axel have sat in the living room playing video games for the last hour, giving me hope that they’ve finally reached friend status. God bless Chris for introducing Axel to motorcycles.
Once I’m out of the shower and drying my hair, I tap on the missed text.
Chantelle: Sure, what’s up?
Me: Does Christian have a biker page on social media?
Chantelle: Did you ask him that question?
Me: I don’t want to ask him. Because...if he’s who I think he is…I’m sort of a huge fan.
Chantelle: No way! You’re a follower?!
Me: *covers my eyes* Yes! Is that weird? I’ve been following him for a while. Then tonight, he took Axel and me to the garage to look at his bikes, and...I saw it! The one he always rides. I don’t want him to know, though.
I bite my thumbnail as I wait for her reply.
Chantelle: Roxy! Are you an obsessed fan?! Should I be worried about him?
I laugh out loud, then stroll back into my bedroom. Shouts from the guys in the living room over someone getting creamed in the video game reach me as I plop back on the pillows of my bed.
Me: I can neither confirm nor deny the obsessed fan part, but I promise I had no idea that he and Chris were the same person!
Me: And now I feel...*sigh.* I don’t know what I feel, I just FEEL.
Chantelle: Sounds like you have a little crush on your husband. *heart eyes*
My cheeks burn and I bury my face into my pillow. What am I supposed to do about this? Not only is my husband the biker I’ve fangirled over, but he’s also the best kisser ever and a sweet, caring man who wants to get to know my nephew. This is horrible!
Me: What do I do?
Little dots pop up, then disappear. Then they do it again. I groan into the pillow. Finally, my phone pings with an incoming text.
Chantelle: I say just play things by ear. There are worse things than liking your husband. And I promise you, Roxy, you could not do better than Christian Price. I know the state of your relationship. I get all of it. But would it be the worst thing if the two of you hit it off and decided to stay married?
I shake my head and toss my phone on the bed like it has leprosy. How can she ask me that when she knows this isn’t supposed to be real? I didn’t sign up for forever with him. I signed a contract . With a fail-safe just in case. The phone pings again.
Chantelle: Don’t get antsy on me. I’m just saying, maybe take it day by day right now. Enjoy his attention. Maybe even flirt a little. See. Where. It. Goes.
Part of me wants nothing more than to do that. To lean into Christian. To let myself fall into his arms at night and kiss him on the lips every morning. To relish our deep conversations and the attention to detail he displays in every area of his life. To be the object of his desire...
But I’ve never had a lasting relationship before. I run at the first sign of hardship, always have. I don’t have tough conversations or work through problems. I run. I run from the hard stuff. Force myself to forget the bad things. The only reason I’m here now is because of Axel. Taking things a day at a time is all well and good until I slip up and things start to crumble. And when they do, I’m not sure I can stick around to witness Chris’s disappointment in me.
I’d rather bail long before he has a chance to break my heart.