9. In Denial
NINE
Cam’s heartsank when he saw the empty spot on the gallery wall the Monday after the party. The need to apologize swamped him, and for the two days she didn’t show up in the lounge at their usual time, he feared she’d taken the sketch and found a new place to stare at it.
When she showed up on Wednesday, he put his words in the correct order in an artless verbal dump, and left the lounge with her promise to see him tomorrow pealing in his ears.
He mentally patted himself on the back as he headed to the athletic complex mid-afternoon. Apology, check. Common ground to talk about, check. Agreement to do more than sit in awkward silence for forty minutes a day, check.
Stellar guy who was not him at her side, check.
They’d break up. They had to. How long had they known each other? She only moved in three weeks ago. Everyone broke up eventually, and when they did, Cam would not be the grumbly asshole who pretended not to know French. He’d be more than just the guy who could throw a ball pretty far and pretty accurately. He’d be the guy who made her laugh and made her comfortable the way she was when they finally talked. He would be someone she trusted, who was not just interested in kissing his way up her thighs.
Not just that.
He knew her art before he knew her. Justin showed off photos of her senior exhibition, a series of watercolors and pencil daubed with metallic edges, historic buildings in a candy-colored haze. Versailles in a tornado of iridescent bubbles. St. Basil’s cathedral on a jagged mountain of rock sugar. When Cam looked at Versailles, he saw death. When he looked at St. Basil’s, oppression. She wrapped them like a gift basket in shimmering, translucent plastic, and asked him to reconsider.
Every piece of her life starved him for more, but Justin couldn’t tell him what was behind the blaze in Avery’s blue eyes when she stared down a charcoal sketch, or why she chose Sense and Sensibility to read aloud in French one day when she presumably got bored of the sound of his breathing. Bored, but not bored enough to walk away from him.
Why didn’t she walk away?
He’d find out himself. And if she was with someone else for a while, he had the perfect opportunity to boost himself out of the crater he dug and show her his best, when she’d only seen his worst. After all, independent sources could confirm that Cameron Porter was clutch when the game was on the line. Cameron Porter could lead a fourth-quarter comeback.
Cameron
It’s an opportunity, really. Positive thinking. Don’t tell Hammy I’m taking his advice.
Hayden
I can hear you, you know.
Dale
There’s positive thinking, and there’s denial.
Cameron
Getting past the apology was a hurdle. At least I know where I stand now, and I have time to get my act together.
God, it’s like I’ve forgotten how to say anything besides “We executed well in all phases of play. I’m proud of how my guys battled today” and crap like that.
Dale
You sound like the pros. My media friend is about to send me to speech class. Thank God I don’t have the needy alumni some of you guys do.
Hayden
What, you don’t have to justify your existence every time a receiver misses your perfect throw?
Dale
This is what you get for picking that school. Your fans are merciless and your alumni are worse.
Hayden
That’s LOYALTY.
Cory
No, that’s an echo chamber. Your fans are big, red meanies. Excuse me, SCARLET.
Cameron
Here’s Thatcher with the unsportsmanlike conduct. That’s a first.
Hayden
MAIZE. Dude, it’s yellow.
Cameron
That’s right, meet him at the bottom.
Dale
Cam, back to the point… I’m going to sound like a real dick, but if she just met this guy, maybe you can kind of… nudge.
Hayden
Unless he’s your O-line. Do not nudge the O-line.
Cameron
Linebacker. Her brother is, too.
Hayden
Are they your FRIEND friends or just teammate friends?
Cameron
Teammate friends, I guess. Why?
Hayden
Then go for their kneecaps.
Marshall
What is wrong with you?
Hayden
Why do you always sneak up on me like that?
Cameron
I guess I didn’t tell you guys the worst part.
Dale
The brother and the boyfriend both being your teammates sounds bad enough.
Cameron
He’s so damn NICE. The worst thing I’ve heard anyone say about him is that he’s annoyingly happy all the time.
He’s the hype teammate, and he’s a beast under pressure. He worships the game.
Marshall
So he’s basically Cory.
Cory
IT IS ALL MAIZE. LIKE BUTTER. ON PANCAKES.
Marshall
Dang, Thatch.
Dale
That’s some janky butter, my friend.
Hayden
Are you drunk?
Marshall
Pain pills, I bet. He got wrecked by Wisconsin’s big guy last Saturday. Gotta be ready to say it doesn’t hurt this Saturday.
Cory
Spartans going down. Got so many ribs, don’t need them all.
ESPN will call me a battle-hardened worrier
Warring.
Warrior.
Cameron
Nailed it, Marsh. He’s our Cory. I’ve never seen him manifesting or meditating or whatever, but he sings like a Disney prince.
Hayden
Time out.
Cameron
He sings in the showers after almost every practice. Sinatra and that kind of stuff. Everyone loves it, and I’m doomed.
Dale
You need to get out of this funk. Get your head on straight and keep your eyes open. She’s not the only girl out there.
Marshall
No, keep your eyes on the prize. Fall is for football. Take it from the old guy in the room and save your heartache for the off-season.
Cory
Manifest the win, buddy. Let the wins flow through you. All the wins.
Cameron
This is my time to get in her good graces before she breaks up with him and stays friends so the locker room doesn’t get awkward. I want this time.
Hayden
I want to hear the boyfriend’s breakup songs.
Marshall
I want it on the record that I tried with you idiots.
Cory
I want pancakes.