Chapter Twenty-One Meera the Bad Girl
I can tell that Noah’s distracted on Tuesday at CROP.
He’s still working hard like he always does, and he does squeeze my hand when I first sit next to him, but I have known him long enough to see that there’s something weighing on his mind.
After he’s been painting quietly for a while, I finally ask him.
“You okay, Noah?”
He nods, but he doesn’t look at me, which is probably a good idea because he’s doing some detail work with his paintbrush.
I’m right next to him, and there’s no one near us, so I put my hand on his waist, raising my fingers to find his bare skin.
I run my fingers over his sensitive midriff, smiling when I see his eyes roll back in his head for a moment.
I love how sensitive to touch Noah is. He chuckles, then shakes his head.
“I don’t know why everyone thinks you’re such a good girl. ”
I smile. “Are you saying I’m not?”
He finally turns to me and shakes his head, that sweet sultry smile on his face. “You know you’re not.”
I grin. I love that I can make him turn to goo so easily. “So… what’s on your mind?”
He shrugs. “Last night I was thinking about what you said yesterday. I know it’s too late for TMU, but I found some community college programs that might work. It’s not as prestigious, but maybe I shouldn’t give up so easily.”
I smile. Apparently my little pep talk worked, even before Keeley finishes her arrangement. “You absolutely shouldn’t. Are you thinking of applying to these schools?”
He nods. “Some admit new students second-term. And there are some scholarships. I was completely overwhelmed when I was on their websites.” He sighs, furrowing his brows together.
“Like, I don’t even know if I have the requirements for them.
Or what program would be best. My guidance counselor helped me pick the TMU program, and I can’t go back to her. I wonder if—”
“I can help you!” I say quickly. “I’ll even let you see my eight-page postsecondary comparison workbook in Excel.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not asking for your help. I can figure it out. You’ve got enough stuff going on.”
“Are you kidding, Noah? A ton of research? Comparing income potential and labor economics for different school programs? I live for this stuff.” That makes him laugh even though I’m one hundred percent sincere about it. “Let me help you. We’ll do it together.”
“How? You’re grounded.”
Good point. I guess we can do it over the phone, though he doesn’t have his own computer. He borrows his father’s when he needs one, but I don’t think his father would approve of what we’re doing, given how he reacted about TMU in the past.
I suddenly remember something. “My parents are going to be out late tomorrow night. Some fundraiser in Toronto. They hired a car to take them there and back because they don’t want to stay in the city overnight, but they’ll be gone for hours.”
Noah shakes his head. “There’s no way I’m going to sneak into Jason LeClair’s house.”
“No, my mother specifically said that I can’t have friends over. But I’m allowed to go for walks in the neighborhood. How will she know if I’m in a house in the neighborhood instead?”
He raises a brow. “I’m not going to Sadie’s. Sneaking into Andrew LeClair’s house would be as bad.”
“You’re not going to sneak. You’re going to be invited. And not to Jason’s or Andrew’s house but to their parents’ house. Sadie has the entry code to her grandparents’ place. She and Liv have been hanging out there all summer.”
Noah still looks skeptical. And to be honest, I don’t blame him. He was arrested for trespassing at the LeClair plant. This would be trespassing at the home of the owner of LeClair Industries. But there’s no way we’ll be caught. Sadie will cover for me.
“C’mon, I know you want to be alone with me.” I run my hand over the soft skin of his midriff again, making him shiver.
He chuckles and leans into my touch. “I thought the point was to research schools and stuff?”
“Yeah, but how long could that possibly take?” I ask, putting on my most innocent look. “My parents won’t be home for a long, long time. And the house is literally a three-minute walk from Jason’s.”
He shakes his head, smiling. “Meera Noorani, you have the best ideas.”
That night I call Sadie, and after I explain the situation to her, she readily agrees to let Noah and me use her grandparents’ house to research schools. She says she can disengage the alarm remotely and gives me her code to get into the house. I tell Noah to meet me outside the house at eight.
When I get to Jason’s parents’ house the next night, Noah is waiting out front with a bike. “Where did you get that?”
“It’s Aaron’s. Chain keeps coming loose and the brakes are shot, but it got me here.” He glances at the house. “You sure there’s no security system here?”
I shake my head. “There is. But Sadie turned it off. She does that when she has parties here.”
Noah nods, but he still seems nervous. “I was kind of expecting this house to be bigger.”
I head toward the front door. “They also have a cottage in Muskoka and a big house in Spain.” I use the code Sadie gave me to unlock the door.
Once we’re inside, we drop our things and take off our shoes. After grabbing some Cokes from the fridge, we go to the couch in the family room, and I put my computer on the coffee table. “Okay, which schools did you look at already? Did you make a list? We can start—”
Noah interrupts me by kissing my lips, and I make an embarrassing little gasp of surprise.
I’m about to stop him because I figured we’d do our research first, then make out as a reward.
But he bites my lower lip, and his tongue slips into my mouth, and I decide that his idea of kissing first is much better.
He finally pulls away a few minutes later. His face is inches from mine, and he has the sweetest expression of mischief on his lips. Ugh… I like his face so much. “Sorry, you were saying?”
My lips squeeze together a moment as I try to regain my… everything. The effect this guy has on me is like nothing I’ve felt before. “I… I mean… I have no idea.”
He chuckles, burying his face in my neck. “Sorry for distracting you.” He plants a soft kiss there. “I’ve wanted to do that all week.” He kisses me again before finally sitting up straight, dramatically, but gently, pushing me an arm’s length way. “I’ll be good now. Let’s research schools.”
“Yeah, like I’ll be able to focus on anything now,” I say sarcastically as I put my computer on my lap. Not that I’m complaining.
Eventually we start compiling on a spreadsheet a list of community-college music programs in Ontario.
We note which ones have January intake, the application requirements, and the job prospects for them.
It’s great. I mean, anytime I get to work on spreadsheets and research is great, but working on spreadsheets and research with Noah is even more fun because he’s extra adorable when he’s thinking and his brows scrunch up.
But really, it’s amazing to be able to see him get excited about his future.
He’s always sounded dejected when talking about it before.
“I don’t know,” he says after we look at a music management program at a community college in Toronto. “I’m not sure I want to be on the management side of it. Music managers always seem so… skeevy to me.”
I add a column on the spreadsheet: Is the career skeevy? Noah laughs as I add a Yes/No drop-down list and color the column mustard yellow, the skeeviest color I can think of.
“You weren’t kidding when you said you love spreadsheets. Why don’t you want to go into finance or economics, a job that uses spreadsheets and data more?”
“Rule number one of career planning as taught to me by Dr. Tan: Finance is boring.”
His brows knit together. “Who’s Dr. Tan?”
“My friend Keeley’s dad. He’s the veterinarian I worked for in the city. He’s been lecturing us about career choices for years.”
Noah chuckles. “You know, I can’t say any of my friends’ dads have talked to me about careers.” He pauses a moment. “Does he talk to you about this stuff because you don’t have a father?”
I frown. “I don’t know. Dr. Tan gives the same lectures to Adanna, and she does have a father. But… maybe?”
He’s quiet for a second, watching me work, before he asks, “You think you’ll ever want to find your father?”
“I doubt it. Or…” I stop typing to think about the question.
“You don’t have to answer that,” Noah says quickly. “It’s too personal.”
I shake my head. “I’m not afraid to get too personal with the guy who just had his tongue in my mouth,” I say, which makes Noah laugh.
“Definitely not now, but maybe in the future? I mean, I’ve never felt like I was missing something by not having a father in my life.
The sperm donor—that’s what I call him—would by all accounts be a terrible father, judging by the fact that he got a sixteen-year-old pregnant and then ran off to India instead of supporting her.
I have no doubt my life was better because he wasn’t in it. ”
“And you have a stepfather now,” Noah says.
“Jason barely speaks to me. I don’t need a father.
” I pause. “But maybe one day I might want to find the sperm donor so I can get to know my extended family? Maybe I have biological siblings or cousins? Maybe even some nice grandparents on that side. But not until I’m way older.
I’m not emotionally equipped for that yet. ”
Noah stares at me for several long moments, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking at all. It’s… unnerving.
“What?” I ask. “You’re looking at me funny.”
He chuckles. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a teenager who… knows themselves as much as you do.”
My eyes narrow. “I can’t tell if that’s a compliment,” I say.
He laughs, taking both my hands. “It’s a compliment. Like, you know who you are and what you want.”
I frown. That doesn’t feel right—I’ve never felt more confused about who I am until I moved to Cherrybridge.
“I’m not sure that’s true. I know what I want to do, but I don’t think I know who I am.
I…” I hesitate. “I thought I did, but after coming here, I wonder if I was defining myself based on who I want to be, instead of who I actually am. You are better at knowing who you are. That’s what I like about you.
You’ve taught me that it’s okay to let myself be me.
” I smile awkwardly, afraid I’m being too deep right now.
But it’s true. For the first time I’m doing what I want to do, instead of what I think I should be doing.
I’m dressing how I want to dress, and I’m with the guy I want to be with, instead of the one I think I should be with.
I’m not letting my curse, or fear, tell me what to do anymore.
He smiles at me and squeezes my hand. “We complement each other. That’s why we work so well.” He pulls me onto his lap. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you coming into my life right when I needed you, Noorani.”
I grin. “Right back at you, Jacobs.” I lower my lips to his.
Later we quietly sneak out of Jason’s parents’ house and Noah gets on his bike and rides away. I walk quickly, and am home by ten, long before Mom and Jason are expected home. It was a perfect night. Honestly, breaking the rules has never felt so good.