Chapter Twenty-Seven Truths Revealed over Pancakes #2
The sad look on Jason’s face confirms it.
“She told me that on our first date, you know. That no one was ever going to come between her and you.” He chuckles, cutting his pancake.
“Everyone told me that I was making a mistake. That I should find someone who puts me first. But eventually I realized that there’s more love in that woman than in anyone else I’ve met.
And even after you get the lion’s share, there is still plenty left for me. ”
I laugh a little. Jason really is a dork sometimes. But there’s no denying how much he loves her.
I don’t even know what to think. Yes, I’m happy that I can finally go home, but I never, ever wanted Mom to leave Jason for me.
“I know you regretted bringing me here,” I say. “I overheard you saying you thought it was a mistake.”
His face doesn’t react to the fact that I was eavesdropping.
He looks thoughtful for a moment before answering.
“I did, at first. I mean, what do I know about teenagers? I know I was an angry, angsty tyrant when I was a teen. And I knew you didn’t want to be here either.
” He pauses and looks at me with a genuine smile.
“I can’t tell you how glad I am that you were here, though.
I’ve been thinking nonstop about what you said the other day—why would I want to be the mayor of a place that young people don’t want to live in?
A lot of what was said in that op-ed about me, no matter why Stuart and Kaitlyn wrote it, was true.
You opened my eyes. I have lost touch with most of the residents of this town.
And I can’t represent people that I don’t understand.
So, I’m glad you were here, Meera, even if you aren’t.
I wish you and I had gotten closer, because now I understand why your mother always says you’re the most amazing, determined person in the world.
She thought you and I would get along great.
” He chuckles, sadly. “I guess that ship has sailed, though.”
I squeeze my lips together, trying and maybe failing to hide the shock on my face.
I’m realizing now that maybe the distance I felt with Jason this summer is because he feels awkward around me?
Not only because he’s my new stepfather but also because it doesn’t seem like he knows how to talk to teenagers?
I’d be charmed, but I also can’t forget what Jason did to Mike and Noah.
I sigh. “Look, I’m sorry I’m coming between you and Mom. That was never my intention. But it’s kind of hard to forget what happened to Noah because of you and your company.”
“That’s fair.” He nods. “You’re right to be mad at LeClair Industries for that.
I truly had no idea Noah was charged for trespassing on LeClair grounds.
I don’t have much to do with the day-to-day operations at the plant.
My brother is the CEO, but even he didn’t know that the police actually pressed charges against a local teen.
” He shakes his head before leveling me with a serious look.
“But that’s not an excuse. We should know what is happening.
My brother talked to the security and operations teams to make sure something like this never happens again.
We have to protect our property, but we have no intention of doing anything that takes opportunities away from youth.
This was handled badly. There isn’t much I can do now, since Noah has already carried out most of his sentence, but at least he’s under eighteen, so his record will be wiped soon.
I’ve been in touch with the Jacobs family.
Trust me, I’m trying to make things right here, Meera. ”
How is he going to make things right? The university already rescinded Noah’s acceptance. I shake my head and stare down at my pancakes. I can’t trust Jason. He’s all talk, no action. He’s a politician, after all.
I take my last bite of food and stand. “I’m going to start packing my things,” I say.
Jason doesn’t say anything as I leave the dining room and go upstairs. I’m getting what I wanted. I get to leave this ridiculous house and go back to the city where I fit.
I won the war between me and Mom.
Then why do I feel like I lost?
I go to my room and take my suitcases out from under my bed.
I don’t have a lot of stuff and don’t have any motivation to pack right now.
I text Keeley and Adanna to tell them that Mom finally agreed to let me come home, and that I hope I’ll be back in Toronto tomorrow.
As expected, there are cheer emojis and lots of screaming over text.
They start to make plans for what we’ll do in Toronto on the weekend when we’re finally all together.
I tell them that I was just dumped so I’ll need lots of distractions.
They both ask what happened, but I tell them I don’t want to talk about it right now and will fill them in when I see them.
It’s good to see my friends excited, but I still feel pretty crappy.
On top of the whole heart torn in two thing, I’m sad that it’s the end of Mom’s fairy tale.
I’m even sad because Jason’s campaign that he worked so hard on is damaged, though I’m still mad at him.
Honestly, my feelings are all jumbled, and I can’t tell if everything that happened is my fault.
I never wanted to hurt anyone, but it seems like everyone around me is hurting. It’s the curse, hard at work.
And I think I’m the saddest about leaving Cherrybridge.
Which is ridiculous, because leaving is all I wanted to do since the day I got here.
But leaving this town means leaving Sadie, Liv, Kennedy, and Rosie.
I’m going to kind of miss Reagan, James, Quinn, and Ash too.
I’m also going to miss my big magazine-worthy bedroom and my own bathroom. But mostly I’m going to miss Noah.
Should I tell him I’m leaving? Maybe try to see him one more time?
Would he even care?
I call Sadie for advice, and to tell her that I’m leaving Cherrybridge tomorrow.
“Oh,” Sadie says dejectedly. “I mean, that’s great, Meera. I know it’s what you wanted… but…” She exhales. “Would I sound like a selfish troll if I said I don’t want you to go? I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you too, Sadie. But we’re family now, remember? You can come to the city anytime to visit your Toronto cousin.” I pause. “Do you think it would be weird for me to go to CROP to see Noah this afternoon? For, like, closure?”
“Do you need closure?”
I take a second to think about it. “I… I don’t know. It feels weird to leave without properly apologizing. Without saying goodbye, you know?”
“I take it you haven’t seen his Instagram today, have you?”
“No. I unfollowed him last night.” I had to; I was obsessing too much.
“Open the post he put up today, then decide.”
“Um, okay.” I disconnect the call and open the post.
It’s a video of Noah, unsmiling, sitting on a chair and holding his guitar.
He first acknowledges all his new followers, and thanks each and every person who has supported him in the past, and who is supporting him now.
“I always thought this song,” he says, “and all my original songs, came straight from my own soul. That they were one hundred percent me and only me. But I don’t think I was as alone as I thought.
Now I realize how much I’ve learned from the people who love me, and how much they have shaped who I am right now.
Even if I can’t let someone be a part of my life anymore, I will never lose the lessons they’ve taught me, and I will always be grateful for that.
So here is ‘Want to Be More.’ This one is for all the princesses who’ve showed me who I want to be. ”
Princesses. He’s talking about me.
He starts singing the song. He’s slowed it down a bit, so it sounds even more haunting.
He gets to the chorus, and the repeated words “I want to be more, to be magic like you, more like the stars, more magic like you.” I used to think this song was melancholy.
Like, he wants to be the best version of himself but still doesn’t know if he can.
But now it sounds more earnest and more…
hopeful. Like, he knows himself and knows he can be who he wants to be.
A tear falls down my cheek. God, I miss him. He knew I’d see this. He said he can’t let me be a part of his life, but he’s grateful that I was. I have to accept that this bit of gratitude is all I’m going to get from him. It’s going to have to be enough closure for me.