Chapter Twenty-Nine Revelations and Retreats
I’m very confused. Why is Mom so happy that she’s literally crying about Nani divorcing Nanabapa? And why is Nani not surprised that Mom ordered champagne when she heard that her parents are splitting?
It is quite clear that there’s a lot my mother and grandmother haven’t told me.
The waiter comes back with nonalcoholic champagne and glasses on a tray. After opening the bottle, he pours three glasses, then leaves the rest of the bottle in a bucket of ice on the table.
I take a sip. It’s actually pretty good, way better than that wine I drank with Sadie. Like bubbly grape juice. “Can you guys tell me what’s going on? Mom? Are you happy about this?”
Mom nods, dabbing at the corner of her eye with a napkin. “Very happy.” She turns to Nani. “Why did you finally decide to leave?”
Nani smiles. “After the two of you left the city, I decided I would do all the things I’ve always wanted to do, but that husband of mine never let me. Volunteer more at the mosque, join a book club, take yoga classes. Even shopping! But—”
“Nanabapa still didn’t let you?” I ask. I know that my grandfather is much stricter than Nani.
That’s why I’ve always been closer to her than to him.
He’s always seemed so… old-fashioned. Actually, he seems sexist. Like, he makes comments about how girls dress these days and complain that women want to have everything now.
But I had no idea he didn’t let Nani do harmless things like volunteering or shopping.
“Oh, he technically let me,” Nani says. “But I heard nothing but complaints about it. He doesn’t have hobbies or a social life, so he thinks I shouldn’t either.
I thought I had no choice but to listen.
For a long time, I was grateful that at least I wasn’t alone because of the curse.
But then you, my brilliant granddaughter, said something to me that made me think.
You said, If we’re all cursed to be miserable, then what’s the point of even trying to be happy? You said we deserved happiness.”
Mom looks at me, a small smile on her face. “She is the smartest girl this family has ever seen.”
I frown. “Okay, but because of one conversation with me, you’re getting a divorce?”
Nani shakes her head. “Not just one conversation. I’ve made some great friends in my book club.
Some of them are divorced, and they say they’re so much happier.
Freer. Do you know who rates the highest on happiness questionnaires?
Single women with cats. Imagine! But that man wouldn’t even let me have a cat! ”
Nani seems serious, so I try not to laugh. And then I realize that I am a single woman with a cat—but I’m definitely not happy right now.
“One of my new friends,” Nani continues, “Shamila, said that the status quo doesn’t have to be my life. She has a therapist and recommended that I try therapy too. I had one session and decided it was time I left the status quo behind me.”
Holy crap. Did my issues with Mom blow up the whole family? But looking at Nani excitedly talk about her new life and Mom looking so happy for her, I don’t think they consider this change a bad one.
“When did you tell him?” Mom asks.
“Yesterday after you asked me to come get Meera. We had a big fight. He thinks I’m going to change my mind, but I’m not.” Nani smiles at us. “I packed my bags and left.”
Mom exhales. “You should have done this a long time ago. You… We could have avoided…” Her voice trembles, and I think she’s going to start really crying. She looks down. My mother doesn’t show emotions a lot, so this is big. Nani puts her hand on Mom’s hand. Mom squeezes back.
“I know, Neelam,” Nani says. “I’m sorry. I know I should have done this years ago.”
Years ago? I get that this is a special moment between Mom and Nani, but I still have no idea what’s going on. “What could you have avoided?”
Mom smiles sadly. She dabs her eyes with her napkin.
“Meera.” She exhales. “Your grandfather… he wasn’t great to me when I was a teenager.
I was troubled and rebellious, and he…” She shakes her head.
“He said some terrible things to me. I mean, I was a nightmare teenager… even before…” She sighs.
“We fought a lot. I tried to run away from home so many times that the police knew me by name. And of course, when I got pregnant, he became worse. He belittled me, constantly called me names, said no one would love me now.” She looks down, holding on to Nani’s hand.
My eyes widen. I knew Mom had been a bit of a rebel, but I didn’t know that this was how Nanabapa had treated her. He always seemed strict, but what Mom’s describing is beyond strict. It’s abuse. “Mom, that’s terrible. I didn’t know.”
Mom shakes her head. “I didn’t want you to know. I thought he’d changed after you were born. He always thought I was a disgrace. But he was so much better with you.”
Nanabapa wasn’t as affectionate as Nani, but he was a pretty good grandfather.
He always brought me candy from his gas station and was so proud of my good grades.
He never belittled me or called me names…
until I was arrested. I remember what he said the day before I left the city—that I’d turned into my mother.
“I hated that I had to stay with him after you were born,” Mom continues, “but I had no choice. I would never have been able to support you alone. I needed my parents’ help.
” She gazes out the window for a moment, then looks at me.
“You were such a good girl. You never got into trouble. Your grades were impeccable.” Her voice goes quiet. “Nanabapa could never criticize you.”
I exhale. “Until I was arrested.”
Mom nods, laughing a bit. “It’s like you saved all your teenage angst until you turned seventeen.
It was the first time I saw myself in you.
I was just as stubborn at your age. I know I said you could stay in Toronto after the wedding, but I couldn’t let you live with him anymore after your arrest. I was afraid he’d treat you like he treated me. ”
I feel sick. I don’t think I spoke to my grandfather alone even once after my arrest. Nani or Mom was always with me. Protecting me.
Nani swallows. “I should have done the same for you back then, Neelam. It’s my biggest regret in life. But I would not have let him treat Meera like that. She would have been safe with me.”
Mom shrugs. And I get it. Nani didn’t protect Mom when she was a teenager. Why would she trust that Nani would protect me now?
My grandfather emotionally abused my mother. And she didn’t want me living with him after I got in trouble for the first time because she was afraid he would do the same thing to me.
I shake my head. I’ve been so furious at her for not letting me go back to Toronto. Why didn’t she tell me her reason? “You should have told me.”
Mom nods. “Yes, I should have. I was scared I’d ruin the relationship you have with your grandmother.
But you’re right. I have no excuse.” She pauses.
“And I admit, I was ashamed of my past. But when Jason proposed, I told him I wouldn’t marry him until you were done with high school.
Then he decided to run for mayor, and I wanted to support him.
I thought you’d be fine. You were so independent and twice the person I ever was.
But I should have waited. I shouldn’t have married him. I’m so sorry, Meera.”
From the very beginning, Mom has been thinking of me. There’s a prickle of guilt in my chest. All the things we didn’t know because of all the things we didn’t say has led us here. I wonder where we’d be if Mom and I actually talked to each other.
I look at her, hesitant. “Mom, are you leaving Jason?”
She nods, wiping her eyes again. “Yes. I have every intention of putting you first, Meera. Jason’s running for mayor.
I don’t think I fully understood the spotlight it would put on you—on both of us.
After that article…” She pauses in thought for a moment before she exhales and straightens her spine.
“I tried living this lifestyle, but it’s not for us. I’m moving back to Toronto with you.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. Jason was willing to walk away from all his wealth for Mom, and Mom is willing to walk away from it, and the man she loves, for me. Her Cinderella story is already ending, and it’s been less than two months.
My own eyes fill with tears. I close them tightly, shaking my head. I feel terrible but don’t want to cry at the club. “I hate this stupid curse,” I say quietly. “I’m sorry, Mom. I ruined your life when I was born, and ruined it again when I was arrested.”
Mom whips her head to stare at me. “You have never ruined my life!” Her voice is loud, and people turn to look at us. “Why would you think that, Meera?”
I recoil. “Because… because you two always said that the curse means we will pick the wrong boy and it will ruin our lives. And when you picked the sperm donor, you got pregnant with me and had to drop out of high school and live with your parents even though your father was abusive.” I take a gasp of air.
I know I’m starting to sound like a crying kid.
“And now you’re leaving your husband because I picked the wrong boy, so I ruined your life twice. ”
Mom stares at me for several long seconds, then reaches over, grabs me by the shoulders, and wraps me in a tight hug.
Her voice is shaky, but her words ring clear in my ears.
“I’m sorry, Meera. I’m so sorry… I’ve been a terrible mother.
You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I… I don’t deserve a kid as good as you. I’m sorry I let you think otherwise.”
I’m crying now too. I hug her back. I bury my face in her shoulder, feeling the comfort that only comes when my mom hugs me.
Soon, we hear the scrape of Nani’s chair on the floor before we feel Nani’s arms wrap around us both. I can’t imagine what we look like—Jason LeClair’s wife, mother-in-law, and stepdaughter sobbing over their afternoon tea.