11. Val
ELEVEN
VAL
I popped a Sour Patch Kid in my mouth and let the sour burn in my jaw as I lay back on my tiny bed. I had grabbed the candy from the gas station in town on my shopping trip last week with Gemma.
Thank god for small miracles.
When my fingers hit the sandy sugar at the bottom, I peeked down at the extra-large bag and frowned.
I really needed a more reliable mode of transportation.
The unpaved, bumpy roads were brutal on my poor car, and grumpy Ray was working on whatever was wrong with it.
Who knew how long it would be out of commission, and I was stranded unless I wanted to rely on Gemma’s erratic, and potentially deadly, driving to get me to town.
My thoughts immediately flicked to Evan.
I could ask him for a ride into town. I’d be rewarded with a hit of his cologne and feel the heat radiate off him in the cab of his truck. For a brief moment, I closed my eyes and let my imagination wander.
Where Evan was concerned, it was easy to do.
He took up not only the physical space in a room but all the empty corners of my mind as well.
Heaven help me if I stumbled upon him during chores—the roped muscles of his forearms bunching and rippling as he split wood or hammered boards.
Earlier in the week I’d walked into the barn to see him petting a baby cow, and my ovaries had exploded.
A low, needy breath rattled through me as I closed my eyes.
I wondered what it would be like to be consumed by a man his size. To feel the weight of him pressing into me as he flexed his hips. To feel his rough, scarred hands roam over my skin and hear the low rumble of his voice in my ear as he groaned in pleasure.
Despite my better judgment, I wanted him.
More than I had ever wanted a man, I wanted to feel what it was like to be Evan’s woman.
There were times I could tell he wanted me too.
His eyes would flick down to my lips, his shoulders twitch as though all it would take was one decision to push forward and consume me.
Only he didn’t.
Evan kept a respectable distance.
I grunted in frustration as I rolled over in my bed. I knew it was for the best, but as vast as the ranch was, it still felt tiny compared to my old life, and I couldn’t escape him. If he wasn’t everywhere, people would talk about him. Sing his praises.
I needed to hate him or at the very least hold a mild disdain—not this low, achy need that settled between my legs. I needed to focus on getting home and earning my promotion.
A sharp knock at my door was a welcome distraction.
I pulled it open without bothering to check who it was—I’d learned that it was either an agent checking in on me or a worker on the ranch. No new faces had much access to the lodge.
Gemma’s bright white smile and sparkling blue eyes greeted me.
“Hi, Val! Are you done with your work? Do you want to go explore? I was thinking of hiking the ridge.”
Her sweet, innocent face beamed up at me. I had the hardest time telling her no, and I actually looked forward to hanging out with her. She never made me feel like I had anything to prove. Our easy friendship had become a comfort.
I smiled back at her. “It was slow for a Tuesday. I could go for a hike.”
After gathering my things, we drove up the hills toward the buttes that lined the edge of the ranch.
Gemma slammed the brakes, and I braced myself as she threw the truck violently into park. “There’s a trailhead just up here that will wind up the butte and back around. Sound okay?”
The looming butte shadowed the valley, but the prospect of tackling it ran a zip of excitement through me. “Let’s do it.”
The path crept at a slow enough incline to allow Gemma and me to get in a good workout, but it didn’t leave us so breathless that we couldn’t talk.
Conversation ebbed and flowed, and the view was breathtaking.
Just when we thought the path would turn back, another winding trail hooked around.
Up and up we followed it, my thighs burning as we climbed.
Trees were dwarfed by the massive earth that climbed out of the valley.
I focused on moving forward as my heart pounded.
As the afternoon sun rose higher, sweat began to trickle down my back. I huffed a breath and planted my hands on my hips. “I need a minute.”
Gemma paused, also out of breath, and stretched beside me. “Gorgeous, right?”
There were no words to describe how insignificant nature can make you feel. Growing up in the outskirts of a major city, I had never seen anything like it. We hadn’t seen a single other soul, and the land stretched out for miles and miles. “This is ... wow.”
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.
The burn of emotion was surprising but not unwelcome.
The expanse of Montana had a way of being both humbling and comforting.
It reminded me of the old Westerns my father would watch, and I loved knowing something could remain steadfast for so long. Have permanence.
“All that time I spent moving from one shithole to another and I never knew places like this even existed.” Sadness had settled into Gemma’s voice as she looked out onto the scenery.
She hooked one hand under her long-sleeve shirt and pulled it from her body to tie it around her waist. Underneath, she wore only a tank top, making her red, angry scars clearly visible.
My eyes tracked down her jagged, disfigured skin, and I tried to look away. When my eyes met hers, shame heated my cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
Gemma brushed her fingertips over the scar. Her voice was quiet. “I’m not embarrassed in front of you. You saved me.”
I scanned her face. Curiosity held my tongue, hoping she’d tell me more about what had happened to her. Any trace of her had been scrubbed from the police record. I knew nothing of the horrors she’d experienced that had caused her so much pain .
Gemma started walking up the path, and I walked in step with her. “Evan’s my half brother, did you know that?”
I shook my head. “No, he didn’t mention it.”
She smiled. “He wouldn’t. He once told me that he thought the term ‘half brother’ was total bullshit .”
“Sounds like him,” I agreed.
“That’s why he’s so much older than me and we look nothing alike. We have the same mom.”
“Mmm.” I stayed quiet, urging her to continue.
“She was a piece of shit though. She lost Evan and his brother to the state because of child neglect. I came along later but probably should have been taken from her too. I was fifteen when she died of an overdose.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’d been in and out of wherever she was staying for a while by that point, avoiding the strange men she attached herself to.
I couldn’t stand to be around the people she shacked up with.
I guess because I saw what that lifestyle did to her.
When Evan found out she was dead, he came around asking questions and found me.
He gave me a job, helped me find a place to stay.
Our brother, Parker, can be scary as shit, but Evan always looked out for me. ”
“Evan loves you.”
Gemma’s voice was thick with emotion. “Yeah. He came back for me.” I paused and looked at her.
She held her hand across her scarred collarbone.
“After a job, I accidentally walked in on one of Parker’s meetings.
Heard things I shouldn’t and saw the faces of everyone in the room.
Bad men. They made sure to remind me what they were capable of if I talked to anyone.
I tried to go to Evan, but I was taken before I had the chance. ”
“Jesus.” My hand flew to my mouth.
“If it weren’t for Evan finding me, and then you coming into the house and grabbing me, I’d probably be dead. Even after Evan dragged me from the basement, I was stuck. I couldn’t move.”
“You were abducted. You were in shock.”
I watched Gemma stuff down her emotions and flash a perky, fake smile. “Wow. Am I a total bummer or what?” Her laughter bubbled, and she tried to brush off the weight of our conversation.
I placed a hand gently on her arm and squeezed. “Thank you for trusting me.”
Gemma wrapped me in a tight hug and continued down the path without another word.
I was still reeling from my earlier conversation with Gemma.
Before knowing her, I’d felt sorry for myself because I had unsupportive parents.
In reality, they were afraid for me, but there was always love.
How pathetic was feeling sorry for myself in comparison to the nightmare Gemma and Evan had lived?
It was no wonder he’d done what he’d had to do to survive.
A helpless sorrow for the two of them burrowed deep into my bones. Children should never have to experience what they had. It was unfair.
My heart ached for both of them.
Anger toward the adults responsible for caring for their children soured my mood.
I needed to get out of there, away from the polite, surface-level conversations at the lodge.
Away from the curious-yet-untrusting glances of everyone who worked there.
Away from the sympathetic nods of the people of Tipp who eagerly wanted to give me some kind of second chance I wasn’t even sure I needed or deserved .
From under my bed, I pulled out my backpack and felt for the unopened bottle of bourbon I had purchased earlier in the week.
After pulling on a sweater, I tightened the backpack and headed down to the kitchen.
Always well stocked, I tucked a small baguette into the backpack along with sliced cheese, a hand towel, and a small container of blueberries.
An evening picnic with the cows was just what I needed.
“Going somewhere?” Agent Brown’s voice startled me, and a small yip escaped.
I straightened my shoulders. “I thought I was free to go anywhere I pleased.”
Her smile softened. “Of course you are, dear. This is your home. I was simply going to ask if you needed to borrow one of the work trucks while Ray takes a look at your car.”