15. Evan
FIFTEEN
EVAN
The seconds on the clock advanced torturously slow, each tick deafening in my ears.
I’d thought of nothing but her all day. It had taken every ounce of willpower I had to keep from driving my cock into Val on that office desk.
Once she’d given me the green light, I was barely contained.
But I meant what I’d said: we needed to be smart if sneaking around was going to work.
I ignored the gnawing thought of having to sneak around with Val.
Something in my gut knew she was worth so much more than that, but the selfish part of me was willing to take any time I could with her.
Trouble was, Val was like one of those flowers you’d sometimes see in the city.
The ones that can grow between cracks in the concrete or through a brick wall—burrowing under your skin and setting down roots before you even realized it had happened.
But the alternative was impossible. The pull I felt toward her was something even I wasn’t strong enough to fight forever.
And maybe she was right. Maybe we could fuck each other out of our systems and still come out on the other side of it when we were through.
The other side of it being Val returning to her life in Chicago and me living a lie in Montana. It would have to be enough, despite the roar of protest I suppressed any time it tried to surface.
My excitement built as I thought about where I could take Val.
She was eager and willing, and with two thousand acres at our disposal, I was sure I could find more than a few places to be alone with her.
As I hoisted the leather saddle onto the saddle rack and began the process of cleaning and oiling it, I looked around.
The tack room was attached to an outbuilding by the riding arena in the south forty acres just beyond the main pasture.
Secluded.
My eyes roamed to the large island in the center and over the boot shelves and tack-cleaning racks. I paused on the leather straps that hung from hooks.
Oh fuck, yes.
I hurried my movements, needing to finish as quickly as possible and find a way to let Val in on exactly what I had planned for us.
I felt lighter than I had in days, a low hum of anticipation rolling through me.
Walking into the lodge, I glanced at the clock.
I had purposely arrived a few minutes early for Sunday supper, hoping to catch Val and arrange for us to meet in the tack room tonight.
As I rounded the corner, Ma walked out of her office and intercepted me.
“Hi, Ace. What brings you around so early?”
I glanced past her shoulder but kept my breathing steady. “Just finished up early. Thought I’d see if you needed any help before dinner. ”
Her sharp green eyes squinted. “Isn’t that sweet.” Ma looped her arm through mine and guided me toward the large dining room that opened to the kitchen. There, Ma’s husband, Robbie, was cooking at the stove. “Tonight was Robbie’s night to cook.”
He turned and picked the spoon up in salute. “Spaghetti.”
I smiled, relieved. “It smells delicious.”
Ma leaned closer to whisper in my ear. “I didn’t just marry him because he’s good with a gun.”
A strange warmth spread through my chest. I hadn’t grown up in a household with a mother and father who loved each other—far from it.
The life I’d known was strange men and favors and money exchanged.
It was a comfort knowing that there were couples like Ma and Robbie who’d been together forever and still loved each other.
It was too late for me to expect anything like that, but maybe there was hope for Gemma.
Ma slid a large bowl toward me. “Mix up the salad, and we should be all set.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I smiled at her and winked, which earned me an affectionate swat with her dish towel. In her presence, it was easy to forget about my shitty childhood. For a little while, at least, I could pretend that this was a normal Sunday dinner with a real family.
Just as I was adding cheese and fluffing the salad, my eyes found Val. Her arm was looped in Gemma’s, their heads bowed as though they were sharing secrets. Both were smiling, and my mind went blank as I took her in.
Val had traded her dusty boots and dirty jeans for a dress that skimmed the tops of her knees. Her toned, bronze legs were on full display as my eyes traveled the length of them. I blinked and attempted to breathe normally .
“’Bout done with that?” Ma’s voice cut through the fog in my brain as she grabbed the salad bowl.
I cleared my throat and tried to ease the tightness in my voice. “Uh, yeah. It’s all set.”
“Hey, bro! You look good.” Gemma’s cheery smile caused a pinch in my chest. I looked between the two women.
I smoothed a hand down my chest, thankful I’d decided to take the extra five minutes after my shower to throw on a nice shirt before heading to the lodge. “Thanks. You both look ...” The words were clogged in my throat. “Wow.”
Val’s skin blushed the most gorgeous shade of pink, and I had to remind myself to play it cool. Keep my distance and not let on to the raging emotions that were swirling through me. Her eyes flicked with a hint of amusement and pure satisfaction at my reaction to her outfit.
As more people filtered in, I focused my attention on helping Ma set out plates and silverware. The large island was perfect for staging the dinnerware so everyone could grab a plate and find a seat around the huge farmhouse-style dining table.
I busied myself with helping Robbie and stalled to get my reaction to Val under control.
When I finally made my plate and walked into the dining room, the only chair left was next to Val.
Equal parts relief and nerves skittered through me.
The pull to her was undeniable, but I also had to make sure that no one else sensed it.
Under Ma’s watchful eye, I had to appear aloof. Normal.
Trouble was, I couldn’t stop the flood of memories of Val and me together in the office. Her strong body pressed against me. Every time I looked in her direction, I remembered the softness of her lips against mine. I was certain the entire room could see me unraveling at the seams .
“Numbers are good. It’s been a big help in consistency as we move forward with AI.
” Don’s rough voice broke through my thoughts.
He was making small talk about our efforts with artificial insemination, pregnant heifers, and the calves we could expect in the late winter and early spring of next year.
“The conception rate is slowly creeping up. We’re just under forty percent.
The naturally bred herds are a lot more variable.
Some are expected to give birth any time now.
We’ll see what the numbers show in another six months. ”
Six months .
The thought of where I might be in six months was overwhelming.
Would I still be at the ranch? Would I have been called to testify?
Would Val be back in Chicago? Anger swelled in my gut and dinner soured on my tongue.
For years I’d spent my life living one day at a time, one paycheck at a time.
I hadn’t given a fuck where I ended up, so long as I had a roof over my head and food in my stomach.
Now I had Gemma to think about.
And Val. I already knew the day I watched her leave the ranch would be brutal.
As Don continued talking, I sneaked a look in her direction.
She was engaged in the conversations around the table, but when her eyes flicked to mine, she must have sensed my unease.
Without missing a beat, her arm dropped from the table, and her gentle hand rested for the briefest moment on my thigh.
One quick squeeze and her hand was gone.
But I felt calmer. More in the moment. Focused.
I could smell the clean citrus of Val’s hair, and I let it soak into my brain.
Goddamn, she smells good .
I couldn’t wait for this dinner to be over. To whisper in her ear and tell her all the things I’d imagined doing to her.
Val’s warm laughter floated in the air. When she shifted her weight and crossed her legs, the flash of her tanned thighs was nearly my undoing.
Tonight’s dinner included the agents on duty, a few daily staff, and us. It was a real motley crew that made absolutely no sense being together, but that was just how Ma liked it. She was a beacon for lost souls.
Gemma teased Scotty and challenged him to a rematch in gin rummy—he’d taught her how to play after we first got here and she’d had trouble sleeping.
Their easy banter was a comfort. It was good that Gemma was settling in and making friends, though sometimes his gaze lingered a fraction of a second longer than I appreciated.
When dinner was finally over, I hurried to clear my plate. “Let me help you with that.” I gathered Ma’s plate with my own and started rinsing and stacking the dishes.
“It’s beautiful out tonight. I’m starting a fire out back if you want to shoot the shit.” Robbie rubbed his wide palms against his jeans before slinging an arm across Ma’s shoulders.
“I’d like that.” I gestured toward the dishes. “Gotta earn my keep first.”
Ma leaned in and gave my forearm a rare but affectionate squeeze. “You really are a gem. We’ll all be out back when you’re finished.”
I nodded and filled the sink with warm water as the rest of the family stacked dishes beside me.
“You coming, Val?” Gemma asked as she started toward the back door.
“Of course,” she answered. “I’m going to grab a sweater first. Meet you out there.”
Alone in the dimly lit kitchen, Val leaned against the large island across from the sink. Over my shoulder, I scanned her body. “You need a sweater because you forgot to put on half your clothes.”
She smiled her knockout smile and kicked my foot with hers. “Stop with that overprotective bullshit. You know I wore this dress for you.” Fire danced in her eyes as her hand skimmed her hips, and my blood warmed.
I glanced around, sure that no one else was nearby as I dried my hands. I spun on her, pressing my hips against her as she arched backward against the kitchen island. My lips grazed the shell of her ear. “You don’t have to wear anything special for me. I don’t plan on keeping you in it for long.”
The soft moan in her throat had my cock straining against my zipper. “Damn, I want to kiss you.”
Her soft breath floated over my skin. “Then kiss me already.”
There was no fucking way I could make it all the way to the tack room across the farm before feeling her surround me. I grasped her wrists in my hands and swiveled, tucking us into the slanting shadows of the kitchen. “Come with me.”