22. Val
TWENTY-TWO
VAL
The four a.m. walk of shame from Evan’s cabin was anything but shameful.
Though my heart squeezed when the door clicked behind me, I had never been so sated in my life.
Everything felt deliciously sore. Like a teenager, I sneaked in the back door of the lodge, avoiding eye contact and giving Scotty a terse nod as he drank a cup of coffee in the kitchen.
Maybe there really was something good about having your own cabin.
There were a lot fewer eyeballs watching your every move when you had your own space.
Bone-tired, I slogged through my Saturday morning chores. I’d hoped to spend the day with Evan, but he was called away to help with another project on the ranch. The quiet gave me plenty of time to think about the intensity of the night before.
Evan and I had had fantastic, toe-curling sex together, but last night there was something different about the way we moved with one another.
Dangerous.
Hard as it was to admit, there was something dangerous about Evan. Not just his former life, but in what he was doing to my insides. Thoughts of him were muddied by future thoughts. Thoughts I shouldn’t be having when I knew that we could be only temporary.
By the time afternoon rolled around, I needed a nap. My boots felt like a thousand pounds as I dragged myself through the lodge toward my room.
My foggy brain registered Ma’s scratchy voice when I passed her office door. “Hey, Val. Do you have a minute?”
My eyes were dry, and it took effort to not crumple from exhaustion.
“You are dead on your feet.” She eyed me from boots to nose. “I won’t keep you. Just wanted to give you this. Agent Walsh would like you to call him back.”
She handed me a piece of paper, and the tiny hairs on my neck stood up. I stared down at the black numbers against the stark white of the paper, my mind uneasy. “Thanks. I’ll give him a call.”
“I’m heading out. You’re free to use my office if you’d like. Just close the door on your way out.”
I nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” I continued to stare at the slip of paper. “Thanks,” I said weakly at her back as she walked away.
In the empty office, I pulled the phone toward me. I chose a seat in front of the desk rather than behind it. Even though she wasn’t around, it still felt inherently wrong to sit in Ma’s chair. I dialed the numbers and waited, my heart thumping in my ears.
“Special Agent Walsh.”
I cleared my throat and hoped it hid the wariness in my voice. “Hello, Agent. This is Val Rivera, returning your call. ”
“Ah, yes. Officer Rivera. Thanks for returning my call.”
I picked at the seam in my pant leg and waited for him to speak again. Nerves rattled my insides.
“I’ll get straight to the point. You passed your psych. Congratulations.”
My throat squeezed and my eyes burned. I had no words. A swirl of excitement, relief, elation, and dread rioted in my stomach. I tried to recover as quickly as possible. “Thank you, sir.”
“So how has it been? Life on the ranch.”
Exhausting.
Thrilling.
Confusing.
Sexy as fuck.
“It’s been fine, sir.”
“Interesting. You’re the first and only person we’ve placed at the ranch that wasn’t an agent or a witness.”
“Yes, sir.” What the hell is he getting at?
“Strange little town, Tipp. Isn’t it?”
“I still find the whole concept a little mind-boggling. Sometimes, I think everyone’s clueless––that they really are hiding in plain sight—but then I’ll walk down the sidewalk and someone will give a knowing nod or a little smile, and I get the feeling they know .”
“Dorothea knew what she was doing when she opened the ranch. How was your experience with the witnesses under our protection?”
Oh shit.
I hoped he couldn’t use his secret agent lie-detector skills over the phone as I fed him as much bullshit as I could.
“A lot of people keep to themselves, which I understand. Those I have interacted with have been friendly. ”
“Friendly.” He paused as though he was considering something. “Good. That’s good. Well, next steps for you will be to get you home.”
The room felt wobbly and my stomach roiled.
“Yes, sir.” My voice was tight and barely squeaked out of me.
“There’s a debriefing process, and these things do take some time, but we’ll get the ball rolling. I’m sure Chief Dunleavy will be thrilled to hear from you. I’ll be in touch.”
I choked out a goodbye and hung up the phone. Hot tears pooled in my eyes and burned my nose. I’ve wanted nothing more than to leave Montana since the day I arrived.
Why the fuck do I feel like crying?
I’m going home.
Despite not knowing when, the fact remained—my time in Montana was over. I didn’t have the heart to call Chief right then and there. My fingers hovered over the keys, and the dial tone rang in my ear. My throat was thick when I swallowed, and I forced myself to key in the numbers.
The hollow ring was deafening. When the receptionist answered, I stated who I was and asked for Chief Dunleavy and waited on hold.
“Rivera!” My partner Eric’s voice boomed on the line. “Where the fuck have you been?”
My chest pinched tight but I forced a laugh. “Aww, you miss me.”
“Shit yeah I miss you. I miss my naps.”
I rolled my eyes and felt my muscles relax. “I was looking for Chief.”
“He’s out, but Mary Lou said you were on the horn. I couldn’t believe it.”
Eric and I slipped into easy camaraderie as he filled me in on all I’d missed at the station. I ended the call but didn’t ask him to take a message or remind him to tell the chief I’d called. Something just ... stopped me.
I was drained. I dragged myself up the stairs to my room and collapsed on the squeaky, lumpy bed. I closed my eyes and readjusted, remembering how plush and warm Evan’s bed was. How warm it was in his arms.
How safe.
I pulled my arms around myself and fought the incessant thoughts tumbling through my head before I finally succumbed to sleep.
“What’s with you?” Gemma pulled her cropped hair away from her face.
“Nothing’s with me.”
“Hmm.” Her stark blue eyes flicked up and down, skepticism written all over her face. Together we walked through Tipp’s local library. The warm, musty smell of old books reminded me of my grandfather. “We should grab a coffee and head back after this.”
I agreed, and we wound through the stacks at a casual pace. I recognized a few friendly faces and offered a small smile and wave. Everything about Tipp, Montana, had changed since I first arrived. Once cold and unfriendly, it had somehow transformed to quirky and warm and protective.
Gemma studied the back of a few novels, and I walked away to flip through true crime stories before deciding that soon enough I’d be back to living through the horrible things described in those titles. When I found Gemma, she had four books piled in her arms .
“You’re not getting anything?”
“No, I couldn’t figure out what I was in the mood for.”
“Here.” Gemma balanced her books in one hand and flipped the top book in my direction.
I caught the book in the air and flipped it over.
“A romance?”
“Don’t you dare make a face. These books are amazing.”
I turned the book in my hands. “There’s not even Fabio on the cover. My grandmother would be so disappointed.”
“Well, let me tell you this. I can guarantee your grandma hasn’t read a book like this.” She pointed at the book. “That’s no bodice ripper. Romance novels nowadays have everything from reverse harems to full, open-door sex scenes.”
My eyes widened, and I gave the book the attention it deserved. “Really.”
She grinned. “Really. Since I’m stuck here with literally no available guys, these are the perfect replacement.
” She pointed to the book she’d tossed at me.
“You’ll love that one. It’s got a grumpy, damaged hero.
The heroine is tough. She’s a horse jockey and she works for him.
The tension is so hot . Plus, I didn’t see the big twist coming, which adds major points. ”
I turned the book over. I had my own hot hero on the ranch, but with all the downtime, escaping in a book wouldn’t be terrible.
We made our way to the counter before I realized I didn’t hold a library card. “Hey, can you check this out for me? I’ll be sure to return it on time.”
Gemma’s face crinkled up. “Sure, but why don’t you just sign up for a card? It takes, like, five seconds.”
A lie was sour on my tongue. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I wouldn’t be here long enough to get much use from a library card. I also couldn’t tell her before I let Evan know about my call from Agent Walsh.
Stuck, I smiled and stepped forward. “You’re right. That makes sense.”
While I waited for my card from Emily, the surprisingly young and stylish librarian—growing up, all my librarians were elderly and smelled faintly of powder and dusky roses—I scanned the local Tipp bulletin board.
Cars for sale, a missing dog, notice of a neighborhood-wide yard sale. It was all so charming and hometown. I moved closer to read a poster that was partially tucked behind the high school musical flyer.
Try Tipp—See How It Feels
56th Annual Barn Party
“Is this for real?” I held the paper out for Gemma. “Did they actually make a just the tip joke?”
“Yes! Johnny was telling me about this. Isn’t it hilarious?”
“What is it? A town party?”
“Exactly. The locals put it on for charity, and it’s got music, dancing, all that. It’s this Saturday. Do you want to go?”
The thought of dancing with Evan and a night of laughing with Gemma sounded perfect. “Think they’ll let us?”
“We’ll have a tail, for sure, but Ma can’t really tell us not to. Besides, she’s pretty cool about stuff like this.”
“I guess I’ll need to find some dress boots.”
“Yes! The Boot Barn!” Happiness radiated from Gemma. I hadn’t seen her this excited in weeks and, to be honest, the thought of a small-town barn party had my insides vibrating with excitement .
I grabbed my freshly made library card from the librarian, still warm from the laminator, and pressed it into my palm. For the time being, I could ignore the sting of disappointment in leaving and experience a small-town party for myself.