Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CEDRIC
I waited for him to reply, contemplating the worst case scenarios for his response to my blunder.
He could be kind about it, smiling and kissing me to distract me.
Or he could tell me outright that he didn’t feel the same way yet, and it was too soon.
Perhaps he could even decide we needed a break to spend some time apart and–
“I love you too, Cedric.”
Surprised, I jerked my gaze to his, searching his face for the lie.
I didn't want him to say it just because he felt he had to. But when I looked up at his beloved face, his smile was warm and his fingers drifted through my hair in a soft caress, soothing the anxious part of my mind that still couldn’t quite believe him.
“You do?” I asked breathlessly.
He nodded once, a flash of chagrin crossing his face. “I’ve said it before, but I realize now the words aren’t the same in your tongue, and you might not have understood what I meant.”
My brows furrowed. “What? I don’t remember you saying that.”
“I told you that you are my other half, kolrav. That is how we say ‘I love you’.”
I sucked in a breath, staring at him wide eyed. He had said that. I remembered it clearly because it’d made my heart skip several beats, and I smiled like a sappy idiot for the rest of the night after he’d said it. It’d sounded important, but I hadn’t realized it meant that he loved me. But…
“Right after you said that, you got all weird when Queen Raiza mentioned a wedding. I thought… I thought that meant you weren’t there yet, and it was too soon to discuss such things.”
His expression clouded, and I reached for him automatically, trying to smooth the frown lines pulling at his lips.
I hadn’t wanted to upset him. I was just trying to understand.
I’d hoped we were headed in that direction when he said that sweet phrase, but I hadn’t thought he felt the same way I did.
The only reason I hadn’t jumped at the chance to have a wedding with him was because I wasn’t sure how Orthorr felt about it.
I would marry him tomorrow if it meant I got to keep him.
If he felt the same way, then why would he protest?
“I realize now how that sounded. I hadn’t meant it that way. I hadn’t expected the offer, and it took me by surprise.” He pulled a face, shaking his head. “Also, royal weddings are incredibly boring.”
That startled a laugh out of me. “Wait. Really?”
He nodded, his nose wrinkled distastefully.
“We attended the wedding between Uttin and Zakai. It was days of ceremonies that were mostly people talking while we all sat around. Queen Raiza’s offer was kind, but I wouldn’t want to subject you to that.
I’m pretty sure Zakai nearly fell asleep during one of the speeches, and he was one of the grooms.”
My shoulders shook as I held back snickers.
I didn’t want to interrupt him, but the thought of a groom being so bored at his own wedding ceremony that he fell asleep was a little funny.
Especially when that groom was Zakai. I’d only met him briefly, he’d been riding beside Uttin for most of our journey and didn’t share any languages between us, but he was an outgoing man, his tone always teasing and playful.
Several times he and Uttin raced each other on horseback, and he and Simon were almost always chatting with each other.
I imagined sitting still and being quiet hadn’t been easy for him.
“Are barbarian weddings more fun?” I asked curiously. In all the lessons on barbarian culture that Finn had gone over, he hadn’t explained barbarian weddings yet. I had no idea what to expect.
Orthorr grunted, rolling onto his back and taking me with him so I was plastered against his side. I tangled my legs with his, smiling as I laid my head on his chest. If I could, I’d stay in that spot all day without a single protest.
“Our weddings are much shorter, and yes, I think more fun. There is a lot more alcohol involved.”
I remembered Zoya’s comment from the day before and couldn’t help but ask, “How often does that alcohol lead to fights in a barbarian wedding?”
He didn’t answer immediately, and when I looked up, his expression was annoyed. That was answer enough. It happened more often than he would have liked.
“Maybe it’s a good thing?” I offered, shifting so I was leaning my weight on my elbow to see him better. “Like a certain number of fights means more luck for a relationship?”
His lips tugged with amusement and he raised an eyebrow at me. “You think fighting is good luck?”
I lifted a shoulder, trying not to laugh. This conversation was silly, but it also sounded before like he’d been thinking of marrying me and I was too nervous to redirect the conversation back to that topic. I chose the playful conversation instead.
“Why not? You’re barbarians after all. Fighting can be good luck, but murder is bad luck.” I paused, frowning at him. “There aren’t murders at these weddings, are there?”
That made him bark out a laugh. “No, kolrav. We are not that savage.”
“Savagely sweet, maybe,” I shot back, grinning as he dragged me down for a kiss.
I was more than happy to let us get distracted by kisses, though I probably would need a while longer before I could go another round, but Orthorr pulled away after I melted into him, leaning our foreheads together in that sweet way he always did when he wanted to talk to me seriously but couldn’t resist being near enough to kiss me.
“I want to do whatever makes you happy, Cedric. If you wish for a royal wedding, I will be happy to let Queen Raiza throw whatever party she wishes. If you would prefer a bonding ceremony with just our clan, I can arrange that as well. As long as I get to keep you, I have no preference on how the bonding will happen.”
He said it without any hesitation. He meant what he said. He wanted to marry me. I was so blown away by that, I felt tears fill my eyes. “Orthorr…”
He gave me one of his soft smiles that always warmed my middle, cupping my face and drawing me down for a kiss. He gave me the time I needed to settle in his arms, fingers combing through my hair, until I no longer felt I was going to start crying just because he was being so sweet to me.
“I think… I think I’d prefer a barbarian wedding. I haven’t found a single thing in the barbarian lifestyle I don’t like. I want to experience everything with you.”
We laid around for most of the morning, basking in our love for each other, while Orthorr told me what plans would need to be made for our bonding ceremony.
I suggested waiting until after the move so the clan could be settled and we wouldn’t have to pack up and leave the very next day.
Orthorr thought it was a good idea, especially because bonding ceremonies weren’t just for the couple.
It was also for the clan as a whole to bond with their new clanmember.
That kind of community event would be a good way to celebrate the move and include the clans who were now much more closely allied than they had been before.
It was my growling stomach that finally got us moving for the day.
Orthorr offered to request someone to bring us our meal, but I adamantly refused.
I could get my own food, and I didn’t want anyone being forced to fetch it for us because I was too lazy to get out of bed.
Even though seeing Orthorr cover himself and all those muscles was a bit tragic every time he got dressed.
“Once Uttin returns and takes over the clan, will you be walking around shirtless like the rest of the clan?” I queried innocently. Well, I feigned innocence at least. Having Orthorr half naked every day was too good an opportunity to pass up.
He shot me a wicked grin, snatching me against him and nipping my neck before I could step out of his tent. “Is that what my bondmate wishes? For me to dress in accordance with the ways of my clan?”
“Maybe,” I replied breathlessly. “I’ll have to experience it to answer for certain. I’m not sure if I’ll get jealous having others see what I get to see each night.”
His chuckle was warm against my ear, and when I twisted to look up at him, he rewarded me with a kiss. “You are good for my ego, ravsol. Now come. I need to feed you. Your stomach sounds as if it will stage a revolt soon.”
That wasn’t too far from the truth, and I allowed him to unwind himself from me so he could steer me out of his– No, our tent. I made a mental note to grab the rest of my things from the other tent. I made a promise to Orthorr, and I had no intention of breaking it.
“Do you think it would offend the queen if you refused her?” I suddenly asked as we stepped into the cooking tent. The two cooks, Patrick and Yamileth, were hard at work, but both paused when they heard my question.
“Refuse the queen about what?” Yamileth demanded. “Is there to be trouble?”
Orthorr shook his head, giving Yamileth a patient smile. “No, Yami, there is no trouble. Queen Raiza offered to have a wedding ceremony in the castle for me and Cedric. He’s worried she’ll be offended if we say no.”
“Will she be?” Patrick frowned, offering me a bowl of food. “I only briefly met her before we moved here, but she seemed nice.”
“I do not believe she will be upset if we refuse, as long as we invite her and King Zohaib to the ceremony,” Orthorr replied calmly, like he wasn’t planning on inviting a king and queen to a ceremony he’d just recently told me was alcohol fueled and fighting was common throughout the night.
Hopefully he was exaggerating at least a little.
Patrick and Yamileth seemed to accept Orthorr’s reasoning and neither looked worried about it, so I let it go, thanking them both politely for the meal. Patrick beamed at me.
“I’ve heard rumors about the two of you being a couple, but no one said anything about you bonding with each other. That’s exciting. You deserve to find happiness, Orthorr.”
Orthorr gave him a kind smile, squeezing his shoulder as he accepted the bowl Patrick offered him.
“Hopefully, this time you won’t sneak off to bond like you did last time,” Yamileth carped.
Startled, I looked over my shoulder at Orthorr. He sighed, giving the older woman a flat look. “You are punishing me for being late by bringing that up, aren’t you?”
Yamileth’s smile was smug as she told him, “You know the rules. Now shoo. We’ve got many mouths to feed, and I want to start preparations before it gets too hot. Let me know when your ceremony will be so I can plan the menu.”
Rolling his eyes, which was a funny expression on a man his age, Orthorr led me out of the cooking tent and over to a few empty pillows around the community fire.
I allowed him time to get settled, but he knew I wasn’t going to let the subject go.
I poked his side once he started eating, giving him an impatient look that made him smirk.
“It’s not a terribly interesting story. I was young and foolish.
My clan leader at the time had told me I needed to introduce my tribute to the clan, as all protectors should.
I didn’t want to. There were many who were interested in her.
Tessa was beautiful and outgoing and drew attention wherever she went.
She was also incredibly stubborn, and when I mentioned what I was required to do, that I would have to fight for her hand if I wanted to keep her, she outright refused.
She demanded I claim her then and there, and skip the introduction process.
I was too in love with her to argue. I gave her a bonding necklace, claimed her as mine, and accepted the punishment when informing my clan leader of what I’d done. ”
My mouth fell open. “They punished you? Even though it was what you both wanted?”
He nodded, nudging my bowl to encourage me to eat and listen.
“Back then, clans weren’t as community oriented as they are now.
Many of my clan brothers believed tributes shouldn’t get a choice, and that the one with the greatest prowess should get to claim them.
I didn't like that. I had no interest in forcing anyone to be bonded. I was given the choice to annul my bonding with Tessa and fight for her hand or to leave. I chose the latter, leaving with her to join the Northern Clan. A few who believed as I did went with me, and when the time came for the Northern Clan to choose a new leader, they asked for me to take the job. I took it so that I could ensure no tribute ever felt forced to be with one of my own.”
I stared at him in awe, taking in what he said. “So… you’re the reason tributes were treated so well?”
He made a face, lifting a shoulder. “I was the first clan leader to insist, but I could not enforce that outside of my clan. It was the other clans that made the choice to follow my example.”
“But you started it,” I argued. “You were the voice of change. They might not have ever done it if it hadn’t been for you. That’s amazing, Orthorr. The reason barbarians are so sweet is because of you.”