The Barbarian’s Musician (Savagely Sweet Barbarians #3)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

HENRY

When I first heard the rumors that the barbarians weren’t all like the stories made them out to be, I was curious, but I never planned on doing much with that information.

Even if they were kind, it was unlikely they’d want anything to do with me.

I had my sister, my violin, and a little grove in our backyard filled with peach trees. What more could I ask for?

It was when Alice started courting that things began to change.

She never said it herself, but I could tell my presence was holding her back.

Her suitors didn’t want to take in a burden like me.

And I couldn’t live on my own. I tried once or twice and somehow always managed to hurt myself.

The burn scars on my arm were proof of that, as was the cut on my palm that still felt raised despite the years that had passed since that attempt at cooking for myself.

Alice told me I wasn’t a burden, and she wasn’t interested in any man who saw me that way, but I couldn’t help but feel like she’d do better without me.

Her most recent suitor had gotten into a screaming match with her the night prior, and I’d heard her crying in her room.

I’d been considering another attempt at living alone—perhaps if I only needed her to make meals for me, the suitors would give her more of a chance—when I heard about the barbarian group visiting the town.

Alice was working, she was a school teacher and wouldn’t come to check on me until lunch time, so I carefully made my way out of the house on my own, keeping my hand on the walls of the buildings as I made my way to the town square.

Living in my town all my life, I’d learned how to get places on my own.

I heard the commotion first, the voices raised in outrage, while others whispered harsh questions I couldn’t quite catch over the noise.

I had excellent hearing, but whoever was speaking was trying not to be overheard.

I stepped closer, tipping my head as I listened, trying to figure out what was happening.

“...and you’re sure? I don’t want to be sold off to some man if I go with you,” the female voice whispered harshly.

“You won’t be,” a man answered, his words clipped but not cruel.

“You’ll go to the clans to learn the language, the local laws, that kind of thing, then you can go to the capital or find a village if you prefer small town living.

The clans are only a stopping point. They aren’t the final destination unless you choose for them to be. ”

“A stopping point?” I murmured.

Someone jostled me, causing me to stumble, and my hands shot out to catch myself if I hit the ground. I didn’t, someone caught me before I could and righted me on my feet, a steadying hand on my shoulder as I regained my balance.

“Apologies,” I said automatically.

“For what?” the male voice from before snapped. He wasn’t the one who caught me, his voice was farther away, but he seemed to have been aware of the incident enough to comment. “That asshole shoved you.”

My lips twitched as I fought a smile at his incensed tone. He would change his tone when he realized why I was pushed aside. They all did eventually.

“He had to, I’m afraid. I couldn’t see him to move out of his way.”

Footsteps alerted me to where he stood, and I did my best to look in that direction. It didn’t matter, I couldn’t see him, but it made some people feel better if they thought I was looking at them.

“You can’t see?” he asked, his tone holding just a hint of skepticism.

That was normal. According to Alice, I looked like anyone else.

My hearing was good enough that I could usually pinpoint where a speaker was to look at them directly.

It appeared for all intents and purposes like I was looking at them. I just couldn’t see them.

“Fever when I was a child took my sight. It never recovered. You’re the group from the barbarian clans, right?”

“That’s right. We’re offering safe passage to those who prefer same sex relations to Al Nuzem so they can live somewhere free.

” He paused for a moment, and I cocked my head, listening to my surroundings.

There was another speaker somewhere nearby talking to a few others about the clans, but the angry voices had settled a little. Where had they gone?

“What about you?” he finally asked. “Are you attracted to males?”

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I have never had an opportunity to find out.”

I could feel attraction, most people didn’t realize it was more than just someone’s appearance that attracted them, but I’d never had a specific preference.

My first point of attraction was the sound of someone’s voice, and I thought both female and male voices could be pleasing.

I’d never been approached for courting or a relationship before to be able to figure out if I had a preference beyond that.

The speaker seemed to consider my answer for a moment before replying. “Well, if you want to explore without risking persecution, then you might want to consider coming with us. It’s not legal here.”

I huffed, shaking my head. “I wouldn’t want to put that burden onto you. Thank you for the offer, though.”

I’d only come out here because I was curious. I hadn’t actually planned to join them. It wasn’t often that something exciting happened in our town, and because all the attention was on the visitors, I didn't have to worry about snide comments or aggression towards me for getting in the way.

A new voice next to me, I assumed the person who’d steadied me before, spoke so quietly that those around us likely wouldn’t have heard him. “D-do y-y-you n-need help to g-get h-home?”

Turning in the direction of his voice, I gave him a smile. “That’s kind of you. If you could just point me in the direction of the butcher’s shop? Once I find the wall, I can make my way home just fine.”

“It’s alright. I’ve got him,” Alice’s familiar voice interrupted, and a moment later, I felt her hand take mine. She carefully placed it on her arm, leading me away from the group, and waited until we were out of earshot before whispering, “What were you doing over there?”

“I was just curious,” I shrugged. “It’s not often that something this exciting happens in town.”

“Hey!” the voice of the first speaker called out over the crowded town square, making me pause.

I heard footsteps as he jogged over, and his voice lowered when he got close.

“We’ll be here for a few days. Our company is camped outside town, and we’ll come back to pick up anyone who wants to go with us.

If you change your mind, come back to the town square. ”

I frowned at the offer, but he walked away before I could come up with a reply.

While it was true that if I wished to explore my attraction, it might be safer to do so outside of this town that already saw me as a pariah, but I wasn’t under the illusion I wouldn’t be treated the same way wherever I went.

I assumed I’d live my life alone, with my sister as company, and I was fine with that. What more could I ask for?

Alice guided me home, releasing me when we stepped inside. She knew how much I preferred to do things on my own if I was able. I was familiar with our home and could find my way to whichever room I wished at this point, as long as things weren’t moved about.

She was quiet for a long time, long enough that I considered she might be angry with me.

Running my hand along the back of the sofa, I followed it to the side table, and then to my favorite chair, stepping around it so I could sit.

It was near the window, and I often left it open to listen to the world just outside.

Reaching for the latch, I flipped it and pushed the window open, breathing in the fresh air.

“Do you want to go with them?”

She’d been quiet for so long, I’d assumed I hadn’t heard her leaving. She could be quiet if she wanted to be.

“What? No, of course not. Going with them wouldn’t change anything for me. Unless… Do you want to go with them? I realize now I’ve never asked your preferences. Would you prefer a relationship with a woman?”

I wouldn’t care either way. I knew many of our neighbors had issues with same sex couples, but I never truly understood why. Why was it their business or mine who people chose to love?

She huffed, and I heard her footsteps when she came into the living room and plopped herself onto the couch. “I prefer men. Though, maybe not the men in this town. I don't like the way they treat you.”

Frowning at her, I figured now was as good a time as any to offer again to live on my own. “It might make things easier if we lived in separate homes. If I rely on you less, perhaps only for meals, then they might not be so unhappy about the arrangement–”

“If the person I’m seeing doesn’t like my brother in my life, he’s not a person worth knowing,” she said stubbornly.

“I’m not going to force you to be all alone just to find someone.

You’ll always be part of my life. I’ll either find someone who accepts that, or it’ll just be you and me. I’m fine with either outcome.”

My smile was sad when I looked in her direction. “I don’t want you to be all alone.”

“I’m not alone,” she insisted, taking my hand and squeezing it affectionately. “I’ve got you. Now be honest with me. Would joining the clans make a difference for you?”

“Unlikely. Finding someone I’m attracted to who wouldn’t be put off by my lack of sight would be like finding a miracle personified.

I’m not going to pretend that outcome is likely.

But they mentioned being a stopping point to Al Nuzem’s capital.

You always told me you wanted to see it when you were little.

I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get a chance to explore the world. ”

We weren’t rich by any means, but we weren’t poor either. Our parents had a successful business before they died, and we sold it off for a decent amount of money. If Alice wanted to start over, we had the funds to do it. And everywhere needed teachers, didn’t they?

She went quiet again, but by the tapping of her fingers on the arm of the sofa, I assumed she was thinking about it.

I reached for my violin automatically, pulling it out of its case and running my fingers along the body.

Alice mentioned once my music helped her think, and I felt the urge to play if things got too quiet.

I put it against my shoulder, letting out a slow breath as I drew the bow across the strings.

I didn’t know any songs I didn't create myself, having the inability to read music, but I always just let the music guide me.

I played my emotions, eyes closed, and when the song drew to a close, I felt more relaxed.

Music always made me feel better, no matter the mood I was in.

“I think… I think we should take their offer,” Alice finally said, drawing my attention to her. “We don’t have anything holding us to this place, and you deserve a chance at finding happiness, even if you think it’s unlikely. Maybe we both can find happiness out there in the world.”

We’d discussed the decision to join the barbarians for hours, but eventually, I relented.

She was right. I had no attachments here.

There was no reason besides familiarity to stay, and staying in a place I wasn’t exactly welcome for the rest of my life was a dismal thought.

Besides, I didn't want to be the reason Alice didn’t get to see the world.

She wouldn’t go if I didn’t, she made that perfectly clear. So we decided to go together.

Just like they promised, the group came back to retrieve anyone who wanted to leave with them.

Those of us who chose to go had garnered a decent amount of attention, and there was a crowd watching us leave, but no one seemed too upset about it.

They were happy to rid the town of those they considered undesirable and that included me.

“Good riddance,” someone muttered. It sounded like the baker’s wife, but I couldn’t be certain with the amount of shouting and hurling insults; it was hard to tell.

“Ignore them,” Alice whispered in my ear. She ushered me forward, and I went where she led me, her steadying hand on my arm keeping me from wandering in directions I shouldn’t.

For the first time in my life, I was led past the gate of our town and out into the world proper.

I knew it was in my head, there was very little difference from the town proper and just outside the gate, but I swore I felt the shadow pass over me as we crossed through the gate, and the air felt less stifling on the other side.

I was led to a wagon and let the others go first before attempting to get on myself. I didn’t want people having to stand around because of me.

“Feigrind, help him,” the voice of the man from the day before demanded. “He’s blind.”

Before I could tell him I could do it on my own, I was plucked off the ground by my hips and lifted into the wagon. Startled, my hands flung out wildly, and I nearly dropped my violin, but someone caught my free hand and pulled me forward away from the edge.

“You’re alright. Sit here,” the female voice urged, guiding me over to a space on the floor.

“Alice?” I asked anxiously.

“I’m right here, Henry,” she reassured me, her hand on my shoulder as she helped me to sit where the other woman had guided me.

Like she could tell I was uneasy, she stayed closed, sitting beside me with her side pressed against mine so I could feel her next to me.

She took my hand in hers, lacing our fingers together, and rubbed my arm soothingly.

“You did it. We’re on our very first adventure. ”

Huffing a shaky laugh, I nodded. “I guess we are.” I pulled my violin closer, my heart racing as the wagon jerked into motion, and we headed on our way. I hoped we’d made the right choice.