Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
HENRY
It took work not to laugh. The barbarian was only being kind, I didn't want him to think I was making fun of him.
“I assure you, I’m fine. Thank you for showing me the way.”
I’d planned on waiting for Alice to escort me, but she was gone longer than I expected, and I felt uncomfortable waiting much longer. I was lucky there was someone nearby willing to help me.
The barbarian grunted, walking away, but I could tell he didn’t go far.
Sand muffled footsteps, but there was no sand past the treeline, and the snap of twigs told me he only went so far.
I ignored it, taking a moment to do my business before turning carefully to hopefully head back the direction I came.
I knew life would be more difficult leaving the familiarity of home, but hearing the excitement in Alice’s voice every morning was worth a little discomfort.
She was happy. And once we settled somewhere, like Al Nuzem’s capital maybe, I’d get used to things again.
A hand wrapping gently around my elbow alerted me to the barbarian returning to my side. I smiled up at him, reaching for his arm just to make it a little easier for me. He didn’t seem to mind, readjusting so my hand was wrapped around his forearm instead.
I realized belatedly that I hadn’t introduced myself. “I’m Henry, by the way.”
“Garrun,” he mumbled. “Watch your feet. Sand is soon.”
I appreciated the warning, since the sand had been somewhat of a nuisance since I arrived.
I readied myself for the uneven terrain, holding a little tighter to Garrun’s arm to keep myself steady.
To distract myself from the embarrassment of possibly tripping over my feet again, I asked, “Which clan are you from, Garrun?”
“Clan Velgraz.”
Perking up, I smiled at him. “Clan Velgraz came to help when we were stuck over the border. Do you have one of those messenger birds like the men who’d traveled with us?”
“No. I have Ekkar.”
Something furry and large bumped my side, startling me, and I practically leapt into Garrun’s arms to avoid it. He made a tsk sound, but the noise didn’t seem to be directed at me because he spoke in the barbarian language, his words only just slow enough for me to catch what he said.
“Leave him be. You are frightening him.”
Replying in the common tongue, since I still wasn’t confident with my barbarian language skills just yet, I reassured him, “It’s fine. I was just startled. What is Ekkar, exactly?”
“An ulvor,” he explained, but that didn’t help me. It was a word I wasn’t familiar with.
Like he could see my confusion, I felt Garrun’s hand take one of mine, lowering it enough to touch the furry creature that had bumped me before.
To get a better understanding of what the animal was, I released my grip on Garrun’s arm, using both hands to feel along the creature’s face and down his back.
I tipped my head thoughtfully. “A dog? No… He’s a little big to be a dog, isn’t he? ”
“Uh… Henry…”
Alice’s voice sounded worried, and when I turned my head toward her, I frowned. “Alice? What’s wrong?”
“That’s, um… Maybe you should let go… I’ve come to take you to the next meal.”
Her voice sounded strained, and I wasn’t sure what was bothering her, but I did as she asked, giving the animal one last friendly pat before standing again. My movements were shuffled as I headed in the direction of her voice, and when her hand caught mine, it was clammy to touch.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” she replied quickly. “We should go.”
“That’s fine, let me just–”
“Now, Henry,” she insisted.
Whatever was bothering her was obviously not something she wanted to discuss in front of an audience. I wasn’t sure if there were more people aside from Garrun, but he was still a stranger.
Looking over my shoulder, I hoped I gave Garrun a smile in his direction. “Thank you for escorting me. Hopefully we can speak again. Good evening, Garrun. Ekkar.”
Alice was already tugging me away before I even finished my sentence. She waited a few moments, and when she spoke again, her words held a tone of disbelief. “What were you thinking?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You were petting a wolf like it was a pet!” she hissed, stopping our forward momentum so she could berate me properly. “Did you even ask what it was before touching it?”
“Well, no… but it was Garrun’s pet. I assumed it was safe. It didn’t growl at me or anything.”
“There is no way that was a pet,” she insisted. “It was huge!”
I’d never seen a wolf, even before losing my vision, so I had no idea just how tall the creature was.
I still didn’t think I was in any danger, though.
Garrun had kindly taken me to the trench and escorted me back.
I didn’t think he’d put me at risk by introducing me to something that would hurt me.
None of the barbarians had been that cruel since we came to stay with them. Why would Garrun be any different?
After supper, I sat in the main square with Alice, listening to the conversations around me.
There were at least three languages being spoken around the square, and all the voices sounded happy and upbeat.
Alice had described it to me as a gathering area with a massive fire in the center, with all the tents circling around it.
During one of our language lessons, the teacher said the square was where many people socialized, and if we wanted to practice our languages, this was the best place to do so.
Someone sat down next to me, and I turned my head curiously toward the newcomer. “Hello.”
“Hello to you,” the male voice replied. The tone was unfamiliar to me, almost like a purr, and I jumped when he put a hand on my knee. “You have been staring at me. Do you wish to get to know one of my people, little one?”
Startled, I jerked my head back. “What? Oh, no, I wasn’t–”
“There is no need to be coy. You townspeople have been taught you cannot explore your interests freely. You are safe here. If you wish for my attention, you need only say so.”
His words were disconcerting, a mix between suggestive and reassuring. Like he wanted me to feel safe to express my interests. Unfortunately, there was just one sticking point regarding that.
Grimacing, I told him, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. I can’t see. I didn’t even know I was looking at someone.”
I could almost feel his demeanor change, his hand drawing away slowly. “You can’t see?”
Shaking my head, I explained, “I got sick when I was a child. I lost my sight. I’m sorry if I made you think–”
“It’s fine,” the gruff voice interrupted. “I apologize for assuming. I’ll… leave you be.”
He was gone before I could open my mouth to tell him he could stay. I would never know my interests if I didn’t explore a little. That couldn’t happen if I didn’t speak to anyone.
I wanted to think his rushing off was because he was embarrassed, but a small part of me knew that wasn’t true. He wasn’t shy a moment earlier. Only after he found out I couldn’t see did he run off.
With a heavy sigh, I turned toward Alice. “Alice? Could you bring me back to the tent, please?”
Her hand squeezed my shoulder, and with one touch, I could tell she’d seen the whole interaction.
My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but she didn’t force me to talk about it.
She helped me to my feet and led me away from the warmth of the fire, back to the tent where I could come to grips with my reality.
Just because it was safe for me to explore didn’t mean it changed anything for me.
People wouldn’t be interested in spending time with someone who needed help walking to the trench.
I needed to remember that. I didn’t come out here looking to find love. I came out here for Alice.
It took some convincing for Alice to leave me alone in the tent.
I didn’t want her missing out on the experiences of being with the clan just because I was too embarrassed to stay out there.
I urged her to go meet people and socialize and promised I’d be fine until she returned.
After she left, I let my hand slide across the furs that made up my bed, seeking the comfort of my violin for a time.
The feel of the strings was familiar, the weight of the bow a steady reassurance in my hand.
Music had always been my safe space. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t see.
I played just as well as anyone else because I didn’t need to see to play. I had to feel it.
As the music flowed, I poured my feelings into it, letting the ache in my chest ease to a dull throb.
When the first song finished, I felt like I could breathe again.
The second was for the joy of it, and it brought a smile back to my face as I played something I used to play for Alice when she was upset.
I liked that I could make her feel better, despite my limitations.
First my age, since I was a few years younger than she was, then my sight.
There were times when I felt helpless, and knowing I could make her smile with music made me feel better.
Like I could care for her the same way she cared for me.
Alice was the only person in the world who loved me without limitation. I came out here because I wanted to give back to her all the joy she’d given me. So despite loneliness, I wouldn’t complain. I had Alice. That was enough.
As if to prove me wrong, a cold nose bumped my hand when I drew the last note.
I yelped, nearly dropping my violin and held my breath for fear of whatever had crawled into our tent.
When the nose bumped me again, though, a familiar fur brushed against the back of my hand.
Frowning, I set my bow aside, reaching out to touch my new visitor. Thick fur, long snout, pointed ears.
“Ekkar,” I greeted with a breath of relief. Alice’s warnings rang in my ears, but I still didn’t feel afraid of him. If he wanted to hurt me, he would have already. A dangerous animal wouldn’t have politely bumped my hand for pets.
Running my hands along his fur, I smiled to myself when he settled with his big head in my lap, a steady thumping making me think his tail was wagging. When I scratched behind one ear, he groaned happily, and my smile stretched into a grin.
“You’re not scary, are you? You’re just a big puppy,” I cooed, reaching to pet his side and scritch his belly.
When his leg kicked, I laughed, feeling the movement as he stretched and wriggled.
“Such a good boy.” I paused thoughtfully.
“At least, I think you’re a boy.” Garrun never corrected me when I said ‘he’ but perhaps I was making assumptions.
“Ekkar is male,” a familiar, steady voice said. It was muffled, like Garrun wasn’t inside the tent with me but close enough that he must’ve heard my question. I turned in his direction, snickering when Ekkar bumped my hand with his nose when the scritches stopped momentarily.
“Garrun?”
He was quiet for a moment before asking, “May I enter?”
I remembered during one of our first lessons that a barbarian’s tent was a respected space and no one was supposed to enter without permission. Garrun apparently gave the same courtesy to me, despite the tent only being a temporary home for me and Alice.
“Of course. Come in,” I invited, returning to loving on Ekkar. The sweet animal had rolled onto his back for more belly scratches, and I couldn’t stop smiling at his easy affection.
The tent flap rustled as Garrun stepped inside. He was quiet for a moment, but his tone was fond exasperation when he said, “He is too spoiled.”
“Nonsense,” I quipped automatically. “He deserves to be loved. Everyone does.” The last sentence was quieter, my heart not fully in it, but I forced a smile and looked in the direction I’d heard Garrun’s voice. “Have you eaten?”
“Yes. I eat with my clan. The village center is too crowded.”
I nodded slowly in agreement. “It was quite noisy. They said most of the clans were in the area, but some would move on eventually. Is your clan one of the ones that will stay?”
“No.”
The answer was short, but he didn’t sound annoyed with me, just factual.
I gave my focus back to Ekkar, who would bump me with his snout if my hands stopped moving.
“I bet you like that. All that adventure. Seeing new places.” My hands sifted through his thick fur, and I frowned.
“Is he hot, do you think? This weather is much warmer here.”
I heard Garrun move, felt his presence get closer like he was squatting beside me. His voice was closer when he replied, “Maybe. We sleep during daytime. Guard at night.”
“Ah.” That made sense. Once the sun went down, the weather was quite cool and probably much more comfortable for an animal with such thick fur.
“Was the music you?”
My cheeks heated a little as I nodded. “Yes. Sorry if I disturbed you. I was a little upset and I work through my emotions with my music.”
There was a frown in his voice when he asked, “What upset you?”