Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
HENRY
Language lessons were becoming more important to me now that I had someone I wanted to talk to.
I’d done the practice diligently to show I respected the people who’d rescued us, but I hadn’t thought I’d use it all that much.
I expected us to move to Al Nuzem’s capital city or a small town, so my focus had been on learning Erabi, Al Nuzem’s major language.
Now that I was spending time with Garrun, I wanted to be able to speak with him better.
I did my best to practice with Alice when it was just us two, and with Finn when we were working one-on-one.
I even got to practice with a few barbarians who volunteered to assist with language lessons, including Finn’s barbarian husband, Rath.
“I… enjoy not the berries from breakfast.”
Rath chuckled, his words smooth and easy for me to understand as he corrected me. “You do not enjoy the berries from breakfast. Neither do I. They are sour.”
Nodding in agreement, I added, “They are messy. My hands get…” I hesitated, unsure of the word I wanted. I had to say it in the common tongue to get my point across. “Sticky?”
He repeated the word in the barbarian language, patting my shoulder when I slumped in defeat.
It didn’t feel like I was getting better.
It felt sometimes like I learned something, then was handed six new things to learn and I forgot what I already knew.
Learning two languages at the same time was exhausting.
“You are getting better,” Rath reassured me. “Finn says you are the best at speaking.”
I snorted, giving him a wry smile, my words awkward in his language. “You lie. I am not good.”
“You are trying,” he said, his words warm. “Practice more. You will see you are better than you think.”
I planned on practicing more when I spoke with Garrun again.
He’d taken me to our spot in the forest every day for the past few days.
I was worried sometimes that I was keeping him awake since he told me he did the night guard, but he usually fell asleep while I was out there so I figured a nap counted, and he hadn’t complained yet.
Still, I wanted my language skills to be good enough to ask him properly if I was monopolizing his time.
He was nice to me, and I didn’t want to take advantage of that kindness.
“Alright, everyone. Lessons are done for today. Go practice your skills with your neighbors, and we’ll meet again tomorrow,” Finn said brightly.
I didn’t bother moving until Alice came to fetch me.
I wouldn’t be able to find my way out on my own anyway.
I cocked my head, listening for her, and heard her familiar voice not far away, in conversation with someone I was unfamiliar with.
My lips twitched when I heard the cadence of her voice, the warmth and softness almost unfamiliar to me.
It wasn’t something she did often when we lived at home. She was flirting with him.
Not wanting to disturb her, I pushed to my feet, intent on following the sounds of the voices outside the tent to at least go sit by the fire.
It felt awkward eavesdropping on her. Before I could do more than stumble over a pillow, Alice’s attention turned to me, her tone changing to its familiar light teasing as she asked, “Planning on leaving me for more forest time?”
Smiling over my shoulder, I shook my head. “No, just wanting to give you privacy.”
She huffed and came closer to take my hand and put it on her arm.
I was getting better at hearing the shifting of sand to figure out that people were walking close to me, but it was nearly impossible for me to know what direction they were going unless they were speaking.
A frustration I kept to myself so Alice wouldn’t feel obligated to leave to make me more comfortable. I’d learn to live with it eventually.
Tugging me toward the direction she’d come, she introduced me to the man she was flirting with. “Vaddarr, this is my brother, Henry. Henry, this is Vaddarr. He’s been helping me with my language practice.”
Dipping my chin in what I hoped was his direction, I greeted him politely. “Nice to meet you.”
He responded in the common tongue, his words as stilted as mine felt while practicing his language. “Nice meeting you, Henry. Alice tells me much of you.”
“All good things, I hope,” I replied with a smile. “What clan are you from, Vaddarr?”
“Clan Velgraz,” he replied quietly, and I heard the familiar tinge of confusion in his tone. Alice must not have mentioned my sight to him. Pressing my lips together, I forced a small smile.
“I’ve heard of your clan. Garrun is in that clan as well.”
“You know of Garrun?” he asked, surprised. Then, before I could answer him, he cut me off by asking, “You are that Henry?” in the barbarian language.
Alice’s voice was confused and a little defensive as she asked, “What do you mean by that?”
I felt my body tense. This was when her suitors usually showed the first signs of discomfort around me. It would spell disaster for their relationship if Vaddarr reacted poorly. I held my breath, worried he’d act like the others, but his response surprised me and Alice both.
“You are the reason he can rest,” Vaddarr said excitedly. “The clan speaks of it often. You are Garrun’s musician.”
Huffing out a surprised laugh, I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. I knew Garrun napped when I played, but I figured that was just because he was tired after working the night shift. If the clan connected his rest to me… I didn’t know what to do with that information.
“That’s not a bad thing, is it?” Alice asked.
“No, no,” Vaddarr reassured her. “Our clan leader has been hoping to meet Garrun’s musician. Our healer says he looks better than before. The clan thanks you, Henry, for bringing peace to our clan brother.”
“So… What’d you think?” Alice asked when we eventually returned to our tent after supper.
“About what?” I asked, sitting on the pallet of blankets that was my bed. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The fur that separated us from the ground was thick enough that my body didn’t ache when I woke up, and a few more on top of it made the whole set up quite comfortable.
“About Vaddarr, silly. He’s… been nice to talk to the past few days. He’s sweet.”
My mouth twisted to hide my smile. “Sweet, huh? I’ve heard rumors that say you think he’s more than sweet. Did you finally find someone worth getting to know?”
Plopping down beside me, she shoved lightly on my shoulder. “Shut up.” Letting out a breath, she continued. “I don’t know. He’s a nice guy, and he didn’t immediately turn into a jerk the second he met you, but this isn’t what we planned for. I don’t want to–”
Putting a hand on hers, I squeezed tightly.
“Please don’t make this decision because of me.
I promise, wherever you choose to end up, I’ll find my footing eventually.
I want you to be happy, Alice. If you’re happy here, then we’ll figure out a way to make it work.
All I want to know is if he makes you happy the way you deserve. ”
Chuckling, she bumped her shoulder with mine.
She was quiet for a long moment and my fingers itched for my violin to sort through my conflicted emotions about it all.
I promised myself I wouldn’t at night, though.
I didn’t want to disturb families just because I processed better with music.
I could wait until the morning with Garrun.
“I’m hesitant to make any long term commitments just yet, but right now? Yes, he makes me happy,” she finally answered. “He’s very sweet, and encouraging while I learn his language. I’ll admit, I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Like what?” I prompted when she didn’t automatically explain.
“Like… with the men at home, I was attracted to them, sure, but a pretty face meant nothing when you added their temper or cruel behavior. With Vaddarr, it’s different.
He makes me feel like my belly is full of butterflies and I can’t stop blushing whenever he calls me by one of those little pet names Finn told us about.
I feel like a school girl around him, which is both embarrassing and makes me hopeful that there might be potential for more. ”
I listened to her gush over her new man, feeling both pleased for her and confused at the same time.
That feeling she described, the fluttery, blushing feeling, I’d never felt that way in my life.
It made me wonder if something was wrong with me.
If losing my sight might have taken more from me than I originally thought.
Was it possible I might never feel that way with another person?
I couldn’t even test it and find out since no one had allowed me thus far to even try.
What was I supposed to say in that situation?
An ache in my chest made my free hand clench at my side. I wanted Alice to be happy, I wanted her to feel all the fluttery falling in love emotions she wanted. I never wanted to be jealous of her.
But… maybe I was… just a little.
My emotions were turbulent the rest of the night, though I did my best to mask them as Alice led me to the trench and then the river so we could get ready for bed.
When she said her good nights, I answered automatically, my tone carefully neutral.
Her breathing evened out, the sound not bringing me the same comfort it normally did with my emotions so out of sorts.
When a stray tear slipped over my cheek, I forced myself out of bed, grabbing my violin and shoving my boots onto my feet.
If I stayed in this spot any longer, I was worried I’d fall apart.
I didn’t want Alice knowing how upset I was.
I didn’t want to take away from her joy.
The night air was cool on my skin, the normal bustle of the clan missing as I tried to follow around the edge of my tent and in the direction I thought the forest would be. More tears burned as I tried to make the trip on my own, frustrated tears that I held back only by sheer grit.
I was so lost in my emotions that I didn’t notice the heat in front of me until someone shouted and something heavy pounced on my chest, shoving me to the ground.
I froze, terrified, and belatedly realized just how stupid I was to wander around without an escort.
Even if I had sight, I didn’t know the forest nor did I know the creatures that lived in it.
I’d been warned, we all had, that there were dangerous creatures in the forest and to never wander in there alone.
It was the state of my turmoil that it hadn’t even crossed my mind until it was too late.