Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
GARRUN
My clan brothers seemed to be aware of my foul mood.
Those that patrolled with me stayed silent, and those who didn’t avoided me with a wide berth.
For once I didn’t mind the distance. I didn’t wish to speak.
I wished only to return to Henry and ensure he didn’t think the worst and ask to leave.
I’d finally had the chance to be happy. I didn't want to lose that.
“You are going to overwhelm him by acting like that.”
I’d left Henry with Dras, so I hadn’t expected him to approach me while I was patrolling.
I whipped my head toward the direction of my tent, wondering if Henry had gone back there like I asked, but Dras shook his head before I could leave my post to go check.
“He’s visiting with his sister. It’s cruel to ask him to avoid her. She’s his family.”
I winced internally. It hadn’t been my intention to keep the siblings apart.
I’d only wished for Henry to stay with me because his sister was uncomfortable around me.
I didn’t like being near her if I could avoid it.
She looked at me like I was some kind of monster.
And I couldn’t avoid her if Henry was with her.
“Why are you keeping them apart, Garrun?” Dras asked. “You’ve always treated Henry well. What’s going on?”
My face twisted as I fought the emotions warring in my chest. I didn’t want to say the words out loud so I tried to avoid the conversation, turning away from him to look out toward the forest. “I am on duty. I cannot stop and chat.”
Not easily deterred, Dras fell into step beside me as I marched away, that patient and knowing look he always had on his face pointed at me as he raised an eyebrow at me. “You won’t avoid me that easily. Talk to me, brother. I wish to help.”
“Why?” I snapped. “What does it matter to you?”
It was cruel and unfair of me to say, but I was feeling exposed after the interaction between Henry and Ghil. I didn’t want one more person who might try to chase Henry away from me.
Unlike my other brothers, Dras was not easily riled.
He didn’t take offense to my lashing out.
He walked beside me, his body relaxed and his tone even as he spoke.
“It matters because I have seen you suffering. I know what it means to you that you found your musician. He can make you smile where none of us ever could. I don’t want you accidentally chasing him away because of something that he doesn’t understand. ”
It shouldn’t have surprised me that my clan brothers knew just how important Henry was to me.
Dras especially was more observant than the rest of us.
I swallowed hard, watching the way the sand shifted around my feet as I walked, and forced myself to speak.
“I am afraid if Henry finds out how the clan sees me, he will leave. He is the only one who has never been afraid of me. I don’t want them to chase him away.
And his sister… She looks at me like the other townsfolk do, like the tributes did before we moved here.
She sees a monster trying to win her brother’s heart.
She could sway his judgement. I don’t wish to separate them but… ”
“But you’re afraid of what she might say if you aren’t there,” Dras finished when I didn’t continue. He nodded slowly. “I understand this fear. Townsfolk don’t treat you well. But your clan brothers know you. You are not feared among us.”
“No, but they make comments that could sway Henry’s judgment. They should keep their mouths shut. It’s not any of their business,” I snapped.
That time, he laughed, giving me a look that said I’d just said something foolish. I scowled at him, but he didn’t let the expression bother him.
“We’re your clan, Garrun. Who claims your heart is our business because they will become clan as well. What was said that’s got you so upset?”
I grumbled out an explanation of the interaction with Ghil, eyes tracking the different clan brothers who passed us for any hints of trouble.
Most clans had gathered in this place while we waited for the townsfolk to settle and learn the language of our new home but not all clans interacted well with one another.
There was animosity between a few. None of ours had troubles as far as I was aware, but I still kept an eye out to be certain.
“So you are worried if Henry finds out he brings you joy after years of unhappiness, he will no longer wish to spend time with you?”
My footsteps faltered and I frowned at him. “I… hadn’t thought of it that way.”
He nodded, giving me a bland look. “I know. You are not thinking at all right now. You are emotional and too aggressive. Talk to Henry. Tell him of your concerns. He’s spent time with you.
He knows you. If you truly wish to claim him, you should trust him with your heart.
A good bondmate would treat it gently, no matter the circumstances. ”
Dras’s words filtered through my mind as I returned to my tent.
He was right. I needed to speak to Henry, to be honest with him not only about my intentions but about my past as well.
Ghil’s comment wouldn’t be the last. I needed to inform Henry before more comments were made so he wouldn’t be taken off guard.
Perhaps, if it came from me, it wouldn’t cause him to run away.
The sun was just barely rising, and I was fatigued enough that I forgot that I’d asked Henry to rest in my tent the night prior.
I’d planned on bathing at the river before going to his tent to bring him to our spot like usual, only to stumble to a halt just inside the opening of my tent.
Henry was curled in the furs, his sweet face relaxed as he breathed deep and even.
Ekkar, who had disappeared during my conversation with Dras, had tucked his large body behind Henry’s knees.
He gave me a lazy look when I entered before closing his eyes again, obviously preferring to sleep over interacting with me.
There was a spot just big enough for me on the pallet of blankets near Henry’s back.
I wanted so much to slip into that space and just hold him for a while, but I wasn’t sure I was welcome.
Dras had pointed out how rude I’d been to Henry the night prior.
Forcing him to stay here in my tent probably didn’t help.
Like he could feel my presence, Henry’s sleepy voice spoke, a tinge of amusement in his tone. “People don’t realize that staring feels heavy even when you can’t see it. Are you coming to bed, or do you need me to go back to my tent?”
“No!” I winced at the volume of my voice and lowered it, trying again. “No, don’t go. Just give me a moment.”
Pulling off my boots and the tunic I wore when the nights were too cool to be comfortable without a covering, I crawled into the spot behind Henry, ignoring Ekkar’s disgruntled growl as I pulled Henry against my chest and got comfortable.
Henry snickered, reaching down to pet Ekkar’s head, soothing him back to sleep before letting out a contented sigh.
“I need more sleep. I was up late talking to Alice.”
“Then sleep,” I encouraged. “I will be here when you wake.”
He hummed, and it took only a few moments before his breaths evened out again and he fell back asleep.
I’d not intended to fall asleep with him.
While I was tired, I still worried whenever I slept next to him that a nightmare would cause me to accidentally hurt him.
The only times we slept next to each other were in the afternoon when he fell asleep in the heat of my tent after playing for me.
The music made me sleep deeply enough that I didn’t dream and risk his safety.
But the warmth of his body, the sound of his and Ekkar’s steady breathing, lulled me to sleep before I had a chance to fight it.
And when the nightmares came, the music followed like it always did, settling me again so I could truly rest.
When I woke, Henry and Ekkar were gone. I sat up with a start, looking around wildly. I was confused and not alert enough to figure out what was happening. When I pushed to my feet and stumbled out of my tent, I walked straight into Henry, nearly causing him to drop the bowls he’d held in his hand.
Ekkar gave me a snarl of displeasure for my actions, which surprised me, but Henry’s reaction was familiar and reassuring. His eyes crinkled at the sides as he smiled at me, his tone just as warm as it usually was. That was a good sign, right?
“Good morning. I’d hoped to get back before you woke up, but it took longer than I expected. I’m sorry.”
My hands held his from where I’d helped him steady the bowls. I took them from him, moving to set them on the nearby log so we could eat together, which was when I realized he was alone. There was no one else around the fire either. How had he gotten the food on his own?
The answer became apparent when Henry appeared at my side before I could return to him to help him.
He had a hand on Ekkar’s back between his shoulders, their movements fluid as they walked alongside each other.
Ekkar stopped near the log, scratching it with his front claws, alerting Henry that it was there.
And with Ekkar’s help, Henry sat without falling or getting anywhere near the embers of the smouldering fire.
“How–”
Henry shook his head with a laugh. “I don’t know.
He just started doing it. He was the one who led me to your tent last night after I was done talking to Alice.
I hadn’t wanted her walking around after dark.
I’d planned on asking anyone nearby for assistance, but Ekkar appeared at my side, and when I asked him which way to go, he guided me to your tent and nudged me into bed like it was normal.
This morning, when I got up, he got up with me and guided me not only to the trench, but to the cooking tent as well.
It was amazing. Did you train him to do that? ”
“No,” I replied, looking toward Ekkar with a frown. I knew he was smart, but perhaps he was smarter than he let on. I hadn’t gotten around to asking others how I might train him to assist Henry. He decided to do that on his own.
Ekkar laid next to the log Henry sat on, head lifted proudly and eyes narrowed as more clan brothers exited their tents and headed for the trench or the river to start their day.
Protecting him. A smile tugged at my lips, and when I reached to scratch behind his ear, he licked my hand affectionately before returning to his guarding.
“Thank you for helping him,” I murmured, offering him a strip of meat from my bowl in reward for his efforts. “You are a good friend.”
“The best,” Henry agreed, offering his own treat to Ekkar.
The spoiled creature gobbled both down without a hint of remorse, and I swore he gave me a smug look before giving us his back so he could better watch our surroundings.
I sighed. How likely was it that he was helping Henry so I would fetch his meals for him?