Chapter 18
Eighteen
I could tell Rath wanted me to forgive Godr. They were brothers. He tried not to sway my judgment, but his face got tight whenever we walked past him. So, despite the hurt that still tugged in my chest, I made eye contact with Godr while we were eating by the fighter’s fire, allowing him to come close to speak with me.
Rath stiffened beside me at Godr’s approach, but I put my hand on his to stall him, nodding once to show him it was okay. He flipped his hand, holding mine gently, and stayed silent, though his body language said a lot. He was ready to defend me and hurt Godr if he made me cry again. I vowed to do my best to avoid that, if only to keep Rath’s hands clean.
“I, uh… Can I sit?” Godr asked, pointing to a spot on the ground in front of me. There were logs used for seating around the fire, but I sat on the end. He’d have to lean around Rath to speak with me, or sit on the ground. He chose the latter when I nodded. Crossing his legs, he settled in front of me, then seemed like he was at a loss for words. He scrubbed at the back of his neck, opening and closing his mouth like he wanted to speak, but kept changing his mind.
“Get on with it already!” someone snapped from the other side of the fire.
Godr scowled over his shoulder at them before turning back to me. “Right. I, uh… I wanted to apologize to you, Finn. I had no idea playing a prank would upset you. It wasn’t even a prank on you directly, so I didn't even think about it.”
“That’s a horrible apology,” Zoya said loud enough for Godr to hear. I hadn’t realized she was here, but when I looked over my shoulder, she stood at my back, glaring down at Godr. It warmed my middle, having someone so clearly on my side. Not to the same effect Rath’s defense had, but something different. It felt as though I had a real friend.
Godr grimaced, his shoulders by his ears. “I’m trying,” he grumbled.
He was trying. He was terrible at apologies, but I could see the sincerity on his face. It was a look my brothers had never had. They never even bothered to try to apologize when they upset me. Not even the time they shoved me into a tree and I fell and broke my arm, trying to get down. At least Godr looked remorseful.
“Try harder!” someone else demanded. That got a few murmurs of agreement. I looked around, surprised. I thought Rath was exaggerating when he said the entire clan would scold Godr for upsetting me. But everyone there was glaring at Godr, expecting him to make things right. When I looked at Rath, he smiled softly at me, kissing the back of my hand, silently saying he was there for me, even against his own brother.
I was overwhelmed by the support, and it took me a second to get myself under control. Sucking in a shaky breath, I stalled Godr’s rambling apology, which didn’t make much sense anyway.
“I… I think, if it had been someone else, the prank wouldn’t have hurt so much. But I trusted you, and you lied to me. I don’t think… It won’t be easy for me to give that trust back.” Pain and remorse overtook Godr’s face and guilt ate at me. I didn't like seeing him so upset. “But… I’m willing to try. As long as you promise not to do it again. Rath has been showing me how I deserve to be treated. I won’t be so forgiving next time.”
The relief on Godr’s face was all-encompassing. His shoulders slumped, and he nodded, accepting my conditions. “I’ll earn back your trust, Finn. I promise. You’re my brother’s bondmate. That makes you my brother, too. I will be a good brother to you.”
I wasn’t ready to think along those lines yet, but maybe, in the future, I would be okay with it. For now, we’d take it one step at a time.
Verus strode up, a few other men I recognized but didn’t know their names coming up beside him. They all crossed their arms, looking down menacingly at Godr. “Well, you’ve earned Finn’s forgiveness. He’s nicer than I am. I would’ve let you squirm a little while longer. But you haven’t yet earned the forgiveness of the clan. That will be a lot messier.”
Godr blanched, looking up at them uneasily. “What would you have me do?”
Verus tipped his head towards the forest. “Trench duty. For one moon cycle. Perhaps next time you’ll think twice about making a tribute cry.”
I wrinkled my nose, turning to whisper in Rath’s ear. “You were right. A black eye would’ve been kinder.”
He barked out a laugh, startling his brother. “Don’t worry, Kolrav. He’s earned your forgiveness. He will work to earn the clan’s. And he will wear his shame to earn mine.”
I frowned, but Godr seemed to understand what he meant. His head hung when he pushed to his feet, his expression repentant. “As my brother wishes.”
Confused, I watched as Rath pushed to his feet, squaring up to his brother. Godr barely had his head up before Rath punched him hard enough to send him to the ground again. The crowd cheered around us. I choked on a gasp, startled, but it was Rath who gave Godr a hand and pulled him to his feet again. They hugged it out, speaking low to each other, and then it was all smiles again. I shot an incredulous look at Zoya, who rolled her eyes.
“Boys.”
I felt lighter when we walked back to the tent that night. I hadn’t fully forgiven Godr, but he apologized and was willing to make amends and that meant a lot to me. I leaned my head against Rath’s shoulder, our fingers tangled together as we walked.
“Two days,” I hummed. When Rath told me of his intention to keep me, I was almost giddy, but there was a level of trepidation as well. There was a lot that could go wrong in two days. I almost wanted to hide away in the tent until it was time so I could make sure nothing else awful happened. I’d only been with the clan for two weeks, but the amount of ups and downs had been a little dizzying.
Rath’s hand tightened on mine and when I looked up at him, his smile was affectionate. How did I get so lucky to end up with him? Was this somehow the universe’s way of making up for my childhood? Because if it guaranteed I’d end up with him, I’d go through it all again, just to get back to him.
Rath stepped into the tent first and came up short. I didn't have time to react and bumped into him, nearly stumbling back from the shock.
“Rath? What is it?”
I peeked around him and my mouth fell open. The tent was in disarray, blankets strewn and torn, Rath’s box of belongings dumped. The little table that held the lantern was upended and the oil from the lamp was spilled in a large puddle. My heart sank looking at it. My brothers had done something similar a few times, usually in retribution when I’d done some imagined slight. The once safe feeling I’d gotten was tainted now, just like it had been when they’d done the same thing.
“Who…”
Rath shook his head. “I do not know. But I intend to find out.”
Spinning on his heel, he exited the tent again, dragging me with him with a tight grip on my hand. He marched away, probably to inform his clan brothers, while I took one last look over my shoulder with a frown. I didn't think things like this would happen here. His clan was so accepting. And they handled their problems face to face, instead of in backhanded ways. So then why…
A flicker of something caught my eye just before we came around the corner. It almost looked like a lantern…
Horror slammed into me and I wrenched my hand away from Rath’s, racing back to the tent. Sure enough, there was a figure standing outside the tent, a lantern in their hand. Their back was turned, so I couldn’t see who it was, but it didn't take a genius to figure out their intention. A fire would destroy everything of Rath’s, everything he’d made for me. I couldn’t let that happen. I wouldn’t.
The figure heard my footsteps and turned right as I tackled them. They screeched as they hit the ground, their weight pretty evenly matched with mine. A woman? The lantern she’d been holding shattered on the ground near our heads, lighting the grass aflame, but I couldn’t deal with that now. The woman was screaming, trying to get away, and I wasn’t going to let her. I was tired of people trying to ruin my happiness. I just wanted to live my life. What was so wrong with that?
“Finn!” Rath raced to help me, but the fire was spreading. He had to deal with that first.
“Put out the fire before it spreads!” I shouted, scrambling to catch the woman’s hands as she tried to shove me off her. She managed to grab my hair hard enough to make my eyes tear up, but it left her vulnerable. Pushing aside the fear and abhorrence for violence, I drew my fist back and punched her in the face. She cried out in surprise, releasing me to touch her injured cheek.
“How dare you!” she screamed, clawing at me again. I caught her hands that time, pinning them both to the ground. “Get off me, you disgusting little shit! Get off me!”
Startled, I nearly released her. I recognized that voice. It was the same woman who attacked me and shoved me into the trench. She was alone this time, without her group of friends, and once again trying to hurt me. This time, she would’ve hurt Rath as well. I couldn’t abide by that.
Anger fueled me, I wanted to hit her again, but I couldn’t move without releasing her. Instead, I screamed in her face.
“What did I ever do to you? Why do you keep attacking me? If anyone is disgusting, it’s you for what you planned to do!”