Chapter Thirteen #4
Santo and Arthek shared a worried glance. Jem swore it was like they were reading each other’s minds, and jealousy surged, along with a pang he realized was him missing Cador. Wishing his husband was here sitting with them. Wishing…so much.
“Do you think it could spread here?” Santo asked.
“I hope not. I noticed the water in the lake is lower, but other than that, it seems the same.” He spread his fingers in the lush grass.
“Mmm.” Arthek seemed to ponder it. “We’ve had less rain here, but it’s been far worse elsewhere. There’s talk that the gods still favor us.”
Jem scowled. “King Perran thinks Ergh is to blame and the gods are angry at Onan for welcoming them back.”
Another shared glance with Arthek before Santo asked carefully, “What do you know of King Perran?”
“Not much aside from he seems to be a madman.” They were treading into dangerous territory, and the urge to return to Cador nagged, so Jem stood. “Do you think our marriage chamber will be ready?”
“Oh! Let’s find out.” Santo grinned.
In the castle, Arthek returned to his studio, where he sketched and painted and likely composed odes of love to Santo.
As they climbed several flights of the winding stone staircase, Santo said, “I know you like the early morning sunshine, so I thought your marriage chamber should be in the same wing as your childhood chamber. Did I tell you that already?”
“You did, but I appreciate the thoughtfulness just as much now.”
Santo paused at the top of the stairs to pull Jem into a hug. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“You too.” His throat was thick. “You’ve no idea.”
Concern pinched Santo’s face. “Oh, Jem. Tell me what troubles you.”
“I will. But for today, I need to breathe. Regain my strength.”
“All right. You know I will pester you mercilessly if you don’t.” They held Jem again, squeezing tight. “Whatever it is, all will be well eventually.”
Jem wanted to believe that so very, very much. He nodded against Santo’s shoulder.
With another cheery smile, Santo released him. “Right, no more doom and gloom. Come!”
It was strange how foreign the castle seemed as he walked with Santo. At once entirely familiar yet at a remove. The vivid colors of the tapestries seemed too bright, the tile inlay in the corridor sparkling at such a high polish under their feet that Jem almost asked if it was new.
The castle was entirely unlike any building Jem had seen on Ergh. Did it fill Cador with scorn at the frippery, or perhaps… Did he like it a little?
Why should I care if he likes it?
He shouldn’t. He didn’t! Cador’s thoughts on Jem’s home were irrelevant.
Home.
It should have filled him with joy and comfort. Yet he felt somehow like a visitor as Santo chattered away, pointing out a beautiful seaside painting Arthek had recently completed.
They reached Jem’s chamber, and he was struck with the urge to escape inside and curl up under the covers. He couldn’t, of course, especially since Cador paced by the windows.
Sunlight glinted off his short golden hair, a red silk shirt stretched over his chest. Fawn breeches appeared painted on his tree-trunk legs over tall boots. He’d shaved and looked every inch the fine Neuvellan gentleman. Albeit a very large one.
Cador grumbled. “I look ridiculous, I know.”
He looked aggravatingly beautiful, but Jem realized belatedly that he’d frowned. “No. Just different.”
“They promised to have some plainer clothes made for me but insisted I wear this for the feast.”
“You look delightful,” Santo said. “You’ll have everyone jealous of our Jem.”
“Let’s look at the new chamber.” Jem gave Santo a nudge before they could say anything else.
As promised, the marital chamber was right next door in a former guest room. Santo whirled dramatically at the door, their colorful skirts fanning around their shins.
“I hope it will be to your liking.” To Cador, they said, “I guessed that you prefer a firmer mattress like your father.” They motioned to the absolutely massive bed.
“The right side has been fitted with more support both in the frame and the mattress itself. Of course any adjustments can be made. A couple’s bed is their most important compromise.
Can’t have you sleeping on the floor.” They winked.
Cador muttered, “Thank you.”
Santo’s gaze flicked to Jem, and Jem forced a smile.
“It’s perfect.” The large windows gleamed in the sunshine, a long, cushioned seat with pillows beneath as in his chamber.
There was color everywhere aside from a sedate leather armchair and footrest by the blue-tiled fireplace that shone with no hint of ash.
Fires were only required during the odd winter rainy spell, and even then not usually since the weather was largely the same all year.
Santo ran a hand over the rich, brown leather of the chair. “I wasn’t sure of your favorite colors, Cador. But I thought something dark.”
Jem couldn’t imagine Cador had once thought about a topic as frivolous as his favorite color, especially given Ergh was all shades of gray, black, brown, white, and dark green.
“And Jem, there’s a little something special for you.” They motioned to the windows.
His breath caught as he rounded the bed to see what it was.
“Oh!” Jem rushed forward, dropping to his knees on the plush purple rug.
A small bookshelf lined the bottom of the window seat, and—oh!
Yes! There were his dog-eared favorites that he’d thought lost forever.
“Santo! How did you find them? Thank you!”
“Our dear brother Pasco discovered them, as I’m sure he’ll remind you constantly until the end of your days.”
Jem reverently pulled out the first volume of Morvoren’s tales, running his fingers over the familiar embossed letters on the cover. After all that had happened, collections of paper shouldn’t mean so much, but they did.
Hugging the book to his chest, he allowed himself a moment of pure joy. His eyes burned and he squeezed them shut, breathing evenly. He would not cry.
He looked up at Cador’s bleak, guilty expression. He could forgive him for the books, he truly could. But now there was so much more, and he didn’t know what to think. Or how to feel—other than torn. Torn deep within, the pieces ragged and confusing.
Santo glanced back and forth between Cador and Jem before blurting, “What? What’s going on?” Fists clenched, they narrowed their gaze at Cador. “What did you do?”
Jem wanted to assure Santo. He wanted to protect Cador. He wanted so very, very badly to insist, “He didn’t hurt me. ” He couldn’t.
Instead, he carefully returned his beloved book to its new shelf and took Santo’s hand. “It’s all right. Much has happened and there’s much to discuss. But I’m fine.” Or it would be, he hoped. “Thank you for preparing this beautiful room for us.”
Cador cleared his throat. “Yes. Thank you.”
Santo nodded warily. “Of course it’s only temporary. If you decide to stay permanently, you’ll have a proper suite of rooms.” They narrowed their gaze at Cador. “Provided I don’t have you eliminated for breaking my brother’s heart.”
Jem forced a laugh. “Trust me, there are far more important things to worry about than my heart.”
“Mmm.” Santo nodded grudgingly before kissing Jem’s cheek. “We’ll worry about your heart in due time if you insist. First, we feast.”