Chapter Twenty
I f this would be his end, Cador wished he could have kissed Jem one last time.
He kicked and thrashed, but he was bound, his arms wrenched painfully behind him. It was humiliating to be hauled like a felled boar, and he gnawed on the leather gag, mumbling the crudest curses he could think of.
It was hard to see where he was being dragged, and he expected to go down into the dungeon again. He had no idea what the fuck was going on but assumed it was Pasco’s doing. Perhaps the man thought he was genuinely protecting his brother, but Cador still wanted to rip out his flimsy spine.
Instead of down, they seemed to be taking him up into the castle. Not by the massive staircase off the entrance, but a narrow, twisting passage lit only by the flickering glow of lamps. Cador bumped up the stairs, rough hands on his arms, barely able to get his thin, useless boots under him.
What if Jem was in danger? The guards hadn’t seized him but who knew what the fuck was going on.
He growled around the smooth, damp leather in his mouth, ready to chew through it—then the throats of anyone who tried to keep him from Jem.
He didn’t need his spear or sword or his hands at all. He’d kill them all. He’d—
A door opened, and he stumbled into a room headfirst, barely able to gain his footing before crashing onto his chin. Angry voices rose. He braced, expecting kicks and blows or worse, but then Tas was hauling him up, Tas was there, and Delen and Jory, and what the fuck?
The room shook with a mighty thud, and Cador blinked in the lamp light, the windows here narrow and high. It took him a few moments to realize that the sky beyond was also unnaturally dark and gray. It made him think of Ergh with a pang of longing so powerful he almost wept as Tas hugged him.
“My son, my son,” Tas muttered, and Cador leaned into him gratefully. He was about to disappoint Tas beyond the telling, and he let himself enjoy the moment of peace.
Cador’s hands were freed, and he shook them gratefully. Delen was there pressing fabric to his chin, saying something he couldn’t focus on. Jory hugged him as well, and there was a terrible keening that make him want to clap his hands over his ears.
Creeda wept, huddled on the stone floor, Delen going to her side and cradling her. The chamber—for it was a chamber with an ornate bed in the corner—was crammed full of Erghians. How were Tas and Jory here? Had they just returned? Had they been taken captive? Where was Jem?
There was apparently an adjoining chamber, this one also with an ornate bed, though not as fancy as Jem’s. Cador allowed himself to be steered into this room with Tas and Delen, Jory trying to soothe Creeda now, her wails louder.
Tas shut the door, leaning back against it with a weariness Cador had never seen in him before. His light hair was wild, and his pale skin was smudged dark beneath his eyes. He looked as though he’d been wearing his leathers for days.
Creeda’s cries were muffled, though Delen paced, shooting worried glances to the door as though she could see through it. “We have to get out of here. She must be allowed to return to Hedrok.”
“ Allowed ,” Tas spat. “We must take what is ours! That bitch of a queen will not hold me another day.”
“Hold you?” Cador’s mind raced as he tried to make sense of it. “You’ve been here? Prisoner?” Dread seized him. He’d believed without question when Jem’s mother said Tas and Jory had gone looking for him. “How long?”
“A fucking week. That bitch locked me up and threw in Jory when he arrived. Guess her spy was able to ride ahead of him. Probably knew a shortcut.” Tas paced the way a boar did when captured.
Cador wouldn’t be surprised if he snorted the same way.
“She said it was ‘merely a precaution.’ Been bringing us their fancy food and pretending to be hospitable. She’s lucky Bryok isn’t here.
Where is he? Why did you and the prince return? ”
Here was the moment, thrust upon them with no warning.
Cador and Delen shared a glance. Sweat glistened on her face, and her arm was wounded, blood seeping through a makeshift bandage.
She had the wild energy of the hunt, and if only they were home with spears in their hands and horseflesh bearing them through the winter forest.
“What the fuck is going on?” Tas demanded. Not in a shout but a whisper, which sent an icy coil through Cador.
“Bryok’s dead.” Cador’s own voice sounded strange. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”
“Bullshit!” Delen hissed.
Tas echoed, “Dead?” He rocked unsteadily like he might topple over despite his sturdy boots.
Cador nodded. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. As Delen opened her mouth, he held up his hand.
He took another breath, gathering his courage.
“But it wasn’t my fault. Or Delen’s. It was Bryok’s.
No one else’s. He betrayed us all. He would have cut off Jem’s head rather than his hand.
He thought you weak, Tas. He insisted murdering Jem was necessary, but he wanted more than the sevels.
He wanted to conquer the mainland for his own greed. ”
Cador thought of Jem on the edge of the cliff, terrified and betrayed, utterly alone. Brave and beautiful. He loved Jem so much he almost couldn’t bear it. Almost.
“Bryok’s right. I was too weak. Too willing to be merciful when mercy will be the end of Ergh.” Tas snarled. “I’d cut off the prince’s head right now and feed it to his mother if that’s what it takes.”
“No!” Cador’s heart raced. “Jem is innocent. He wants nothing more than to help us. Help Ergh.”
The grim focus of Tas’s eyes on him had Cador stepping back. He suddenly felt raw and exposed with his bared torso.
Tas asked too calmly, “What is that you call him? ‘Jem’? Don’t tell me Prince Jowan has made a fool of you?”
“Tas, please,” Delen said. “Jem is a good man. Brave and honorable. He might be tiny, but he is worthy of Cador’s love.”
“ Love ?” Tas shouted, his voice going hoarse. “He has made a fool of you all right. I should have listened to Bryok. You’re too weak to do what’s necessary. Love ? With that sorry wisp of a boy?”
“My husband is not pathetic!” Cador clenched his fists, blood-red rage surging. “And I wouldn’t change anything. I’d marry him again tomorrow. And the next day and the next. I’ll spend the rest of my life treasuring him above all else.”
“Even your duty to your people?” Tas demanded.
“Yes.” It was simple. He didn’t have to weigh the options.
“You chose Prince Jowan over your brother?”
“Yes!” Again, Cador didn’t hesitate. He repeated, “Yes. I’d choose Jem again a thousand times. As would you have if Father had ever been threatened like that.”
Tas gaped. “You dare compare your father to that pathetic mainlander? You dare put him above your own brother?”
“Jem has my heart. Bryok is at the bottom of the Askorn Sea where he belongs.”
Now Tas’s eyes widened. “You killed him, didn’t you? You killed Bryok to protect that—”
“Yes!” Cador willed Delen to stay silent. “Bryok was a liar! Dishonorable. He betrayed you and us all. When did you start hating Jem so much? Didn’t you pity him?”
“That was before his mother locked me up!” Tas screamed, spittle flying from his lips, teeth bared. “I don’t give a fuck about these people, only Ergh’s suffering!”
“But that isn’t the way forward,” Delen said calmly.
“And I killed Bryok. He would have murdered Cador and Jem, and I have no regrets. Creeda has no regrets. Only for her children.” She glanced to the shut door.
“I must go to her. Then we will ask for an audience with the queen, and we will discuss the way forward. We are vastly outnumbered. Ergh’s future hangs in the balance.
Anger will not triumph, Tas, and you know it. ”
He slumped against the tapestry-covered wall. “Leave me,” he muttered.
Part of Cador was eager to get away from Tas and his anger. Worse—his disappointment. Cador had meant what he said about choosing Jem. He’d never take it back. But he’d never disappointed his parent like this. He felt so small .
Should he beg Tas to understand? To release him from his role as the next chieftain—though he hoped that wouldn’t need to be hashed out for years.
First things first. So much was happening, and Cador didn’t know where to start.
Oh, to be home with Jem in the peace of the forest away from politics and betrayal.
Neither he nor Delen left. They waited as Tas closed his eyes, leaning against the tapestry of the castle in which they stood, silence heavy but for his ragged breaths. “Bryok is truly gone?”
“Yes.” Delen lifted her hands. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”
Tas jolted, eyes opening. “Not weak like your brother. You should be the next chieftain, my daughter.”
“I agree!” Cador exclaimed. If Tas thought it would wound him, his spear had gone far wide of the mark.
“The last thing I want is to lead Ergh. I don’t care if I’m next in line.
I don’t want it. I never have, and I never will.
I want to return to my cottage. Hunt boar and fuck my husband and raise a family with him in joy and peace.
Delen will be the leader we need. The leader we deserve. ”
Tas seemed truly shocked now, hurt and anger and confusion creasing his pale, drawn face. Cador immediately wanted to apologize, to earn back Tas’s favor, to be his faithful and obedient child as always. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
To Delen, Cador said, “Forgive me. I was a pisshead when we parted.”
Delen smiled. “You were.” She hugged him tightly, whispering, “We must stand united. Tas is not himself. He will understand in time.”
Cador could agree Tas was not himself, though perhaps it was wishful thinking.
To plot to kidnap Jem and sever his hand in the first place meant this part of him had always lurked.
It didn’t matter now. Hedrok was dying, Jem was at risk, and it was time to meet with the queen and tell the fucking truth for a change.
*