Chapter 47
Chapter Forty-Seven
JOEY
Joey had written and rewritten the message at least ten times before she felt ready to show it to Vanessa. “What do you think?”
They were lying in bed together, enjoying the luxury of a morning off work. Joey bit one of her fingernails absentmindedly.
Vanessa adjusted the sheet covering her. “I think it’s good. It doesn’t have to be perfect. This is you responding, but setting out boundaries.” She took Joey’s hand in hers. “And that’s ok.”
“I hope so.” Joey felt terrified of responding to her father. She longed for him to be back in her life in some way, but she was afraid of falling into the same patterns with him, winding up disappointed again.
“And you know, you don’t have to send it. Not being in touch with him is a legitimate decision.” Vanessa handed the phone back to Joey.
“I know,” said Joey. “But there’s part of me that wonders ‘what if?’ It’s been so long since I had a conversation with him. What if he actually has changed?”
“True,” said Vanessa, stroking Joey’s thumb with her finger.
“But what if he hasn’t?” Joey ran her free hand through her hair. This was such a difficult decision, and she didn’t know which way to turn.
“I guess, if it turns out he hasn’t changed, then you know you need to maintain your distance.” Vanessa dropped a kiss on Joey’s bare shoulder.
Joey smiled at the woman in her bed. She marvelled at how Vanessa had managed to break down all her barriers, at how she was happy to let this woman she’d known for such a short time see her at her most vulnerable.
What amazed her was that it didn’t scare Vanessa away.
She dropped her phone onto the bedside table and moved so she was on top of Vanessa.
“Hi,” said Vanessa, through laughter.
“Hi,” said Joey, proceeding to kiss the other woman. The woman who seemed to know what to say in every eventuality. Joel couldn’t help wishing she was the same. But right now, she just wanted to feel Vanessa’s body against her own. That would provide answers enough.
Hours later Vanessa and Joey arrived in the bakery freshly showered and ready for prep work. Carmen welcomed them with her usual generous smile.
“Good evening to you both. And thank you for giving up some time today to do this for me.” Carmen’s gold tooth sparkled in the light.
“Anything for you, Carmen,” said Joey.
“What she said,” agreed Vanessa with a smile.
“You two are too cute together,” said Carmen. “I can hardly bear it.”
Joey felt mildly mortified, and distracted attention by finding her apron and putting it on.
“The party tomorrow evening for Sant Joan will be a big one along here. We will provide all our usual bakes.” Carmen gesticulated enthusiastically.
The street party for Saint John’s Eve the next day had been her idea, and she’d managed to persuade all the other businesses on the carrer to join in.
“But of course, we have our special bake to present as a surprise.”
Joey nodded, regaining her composure. Vanessa held a notebook and pencil and started taking notes as Carmen instructed them on the sheer volume of coca dough they needed to make.
“We will use the old recipe you found, Joey,” said Carmen. “It’s a particularly good one.”
Vanessa tied up her apron. “Ok, I’m ready.” The way she put her hands on her hips made Joey melt slightly.
“Joey did an extra run for supplies, so we have all the flour and sugar we could possibly need.” Carmen gestured to the overflowing pantry.
“I think there is every chance that we may get engulfed in a flour avalanche with that lot,” said Vanessa, elbowing Joey in the ribs.
Joey liked being teased by Vanessa. “Well, better safe than sorry.”
“Less talk, more work please, ladies.” Carmen clapped her hands. Joey and Vanessa hopped to it, picking up the biggest mixing bowls in the kitchen.
Once the dough was proving, Vanessa started on some English treats to add to the party tables the next evening. Joey took a few minutes to get some fresh air outside the shop. She looked up at the sky, which was now navy blue, with clouds gently passing through.
She leaned against the wall and pulled out her phone.
She read the text to her father once again: “Dad. I am glad you’re doing well.
I can’t give you money. I don’t think that would be healthy for me or you.
But I do want to be in touch with you, maybe just by text to begin with.
I hope you are keeping yourself safe. Joey”
Setting boundaries, that’s what Vanessa had said.
And it seemed like a good approach. She looked up at the sky again and closed her eyes.
She wasn’t sure she believed in God, but she silently pleaded that this text wouldn’t end in disaster.
And, for good measure, that she and Vanessa wouldn’t end in disaster, either.
She took a deep breath, released it, then opened her eyes. She looked again at the message. She unblocked her father and pressed send.
“You look very serious, my dear.” Carmen had stepped into Carrer de Petritxol to join her.
“Oh well, you know, life.” Joey shrugged.
“Well, while we’re being serious, perhaps we could talk about the bakery? We were interrupted last time.” Carmen smiled at Joey and sat at one of the tables outside the window.
Joey joined her. “Ok, tell me what you’re thinking.” Her heart sped up. It felt like everything was changing – things with her father, her approach to love, and even the bakery. She wasn’t sure whether her heart was beating faster with excitement or fear. Perhaps a bit of both.
Carmen put her elbow on the table and steepled her fingers. “I want you to run this place after I retire. You know more than I could ever teach you now, and this place is your home.”
“It certainly feels that way.” Joey rubbed the back of her neck. “But I’m not sure I can do this all on my own.”
Carmen scoffed. “I’ve never done any of this alone. Look at you, at Vanessa, at the other staff.” She adjusted her hair. “It has always been a team effort. I just think we need a new capitan.” The way she looked into Joey’s eyes gave her confidence. “We need you, Josefina.”
“Mmm,” Joey gazed at a spot in the middle of the table between them. “How can you be sure I won’t wreck everything?”
“I’m as sure as I can be,” said Carmen. “And besides, if you mess it up, you clean it up. That’s how being an adult works. But you know that.”
“Can I have some time to think?” Joey looked at Carmen.
“Of course. I don’t want to retire for another six months, so you have time.” Carmen smiled and patted Joey’s hand. “But just think about how good it could be. It may solve your other problem, as well.” Carmen put her head on one side.
“What other problem?” Joey frowned.
“The English girl problem,” Carmen laughed.
Joey sighed. “She has a life in England, and a promise to keep. I can’t get in the way of that.”
“Why not?” Carmen gave Joey a hard look, then disappeared back into the bakery.