11. Byron Graham
11
BYRON GRAHAM
Sebastian’s house was overwhelming.
Yes, I’d been there before, but I had zero memory of entering the house, and leaving the next day had been about getting out of there as quickly as possible with as much pride as I could scrape together. There had been no grand tour or time to gawk at the beauty.
Wilkins was at the front door to welcome me as I exited my crappy car and walked up the wide main staircase, even though I felt like I should come in via the back or side entrance reserved for servants and deliveries. Regardless of my insecurities, Wilkins never gave a hint that I was less than worthy of being in such a beautiful home.
Everywhere I looked, the place was all clean lines and calming colors. It was rather spartan in its decorations, but that only seemed to lend to the overall elegance. The main foyer was perfect for greeting rich people coming for magnificent parties, where guests wore tuxedos and extravagant gowns as they dripped diamonds and sapphires.
Wilkins led me to a room with huge two-story windows that faced a lawn dotted with expertly manicured trees and shrubs, ending in what appeared to be a vast lake. Really, this house felt as if it should be owned by Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Just on the edge of the room, Wilkins paused, his brow furrowing.
“What’s wrong?”
“Sorry, Mr. Graham. Master Sebastian asked me to bring you here and see if you’d enjoy a beverage prior to dinner, however…”
My brain was kind enough to supply a hundred different problems that could have arisen in the past hour since I’d last texted him. Most of them involved work and were threatening to cancel our dinner.
“A work problem?”
“No, sir. It’s…dinner…”
That sounded ominous.
“What’s wrong with dinner?” I asked when Wilkins seemed reluctant to continue.
The old butler’s frown deepened, drawing even more wrinkles across his face. His voice dipped to a whisper, as if he were afraid of Sebastian overhearing him. “It’s just that the master wanted to cook dinner himself as a surprise for you, but I don’t believe he’s attempted to cook anything in at least ten years. I don’t think things are going well in the kitchen. He’s already sent the cook away for a night out, and he’s banned me from meddling directly.”
“Ahhhh…” As problems went, this one was at least cute, and one that I thought I could solve with minimal fuss.
“He’s also said that I have the rest of the night off after I get you settled. I think he is determined to have the house to himself.”
I could imagine the dirty things that were running through that deviant’s mind.
“Got it. Why don’t you point me toward the kitchen, and you make a hasty retreat?” I suggested. I’d either be able to help Sebastian cook, or we’d end up ordering a pizza. Both options were fine with me.
“Are you sure, Mr. Graham?”
“Definitely. I’m quite experienced at getting Sebastian out of trouble. This will be nothing new.”
Except this was a lot more trouble than I had been expecting.
At least the kitchen wasn’t on fire when I arrived, just filled with smoke.
“Oh…wow…” might have slipped out as I stepped into the kitchen. It was a glorious thing of broad marble countertops, white cabinets, and shining appliances, but I barely noticed it as smoke clogged the air, something bubbled over in a large pot, and there was something black in a pan on the counter.
“Hey! What are you doing in here?” Sebastian cried out.
“Hoping to save you from a visit from the fire department.”
Sebastian’s wide shoulders slumped, and he hung his head. “This…this is harder than I’d thought it would be.”
“I can see that.”
I swooped in and started turning off burners as I attempted to assess what he’d been trying to make. It looked like spaghetti, but the meatballs in the frying pan were tiny black balls, and the pot he’d selected for the spaghetti made it appear as if he were planning to feed an entire army. There was an empty box of noodles next to the stove.
Sebastian groaned and leaned against the center island, glaring at the stove as if it were to blame for his cooking fail. “I don’t understand how this went so wrong.”
“Did you follow the instructions?”
“I tried, but things were getting done slower or faster than they were supposed to, so I had to tweak the temperature on the other things to get them to speed up, and then there was all this smoke, and the meatballs turned black on the outside but were raw on the inside.”
There was something adorable about this so-called titan of industry standing in the kitchen in his black apron, hair askew and a lost expression on his face. Sebastian walked into every situation with this unshakable air of confidence and control, but right now, this man was shook, and I couldn’t take it.
He glanced at me, and a crooked smile formed. “I guess I’m not selling myself too well right now as someone who can take care of you.”
“No, dearest. You are not a cook.” I crossed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his waist. “But thankfully, you are very good at taking care of people in other ways.”
Sebastian’s face lit up. My heart skipped, and my fingers twisted in his shirt. “You called me dearest,” he whispered.
Oh, shit! I had. The word had slipped out. My cheeks burned, and I ducked my head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean?—”
“No, no. You can’t take it back. I love it.” His arms closed, pulling me. He dipped his head, brushing a little kiss to my temple, then cheek, working his way to my lips. When our mouths met, it was in a series of small kisses, as if he were taking tiny sips, savoring the taste of me.
As his tongue slipped inside, I pulled away with a smirk. If we went down this route, he’d just end up fucking me on the counter amidst the burned food. We needed to at least have the pretense of a proper date.
“So, how about we see what we can salvage of this dinner?” I announced, turning to the stove. The answer to my question was…none of it.
Sebastian stood next to me with his hands on his hips. “I should have let Carol cook. She warned me I was in over my head, but I wanted to impress you. At least I was smart enough to let her make dessert.”
“You do amazing things every day that impress me at work. Why would you think spaghetti would impress me?”
Sebastian looked at me for a second in wonder and then his eyes closed, and all his features scrunched up as if he’d thought about his master plan and said “Duh.”
I patted him on the stomach. “It’s a good thing you’re cute.”
“Hey!” But even that came out with a laugh.
“Show me to your pantry. Let’s see if you used all your cook’s spaghetti.” At least he’d known to boil the noodles in water and hadn’t just started by throwing them into the sauce.
Sebastian pointed to a door on the other side of the kitchen with a fancy frosted window. It was a surprisingly large closet with floor-to-ceiling shelves and not those basic wire shelves but wood ones. There was so much food and in packages I’d never seen. Was Sebastian having specialty foods flown in from overseas? I wanted to examine everything, but being in there was making my stomach growl.
“Ha! Perfect!” I snatched up a box of spaghetti and a jar of sauce. Those items appeared out of place among all the other fancy wrappers and glass jars as if she’d gotten them for Sebastian’s master plan. On my way out of the pantry, I spotted a loaf of Italian bread that probably had been delivered from the bakery that day. I snagged that as well, along with some olive oil.
“The point of having you over was not to have you cook for me,” Sebastian continued to mope.
“I’m not cooking for you. We’re cooking together . You get to throw out all the stuff you’ve made. I’m going to raid your fridge to see what you have in the way of fixings for salad.”
Once Sebastian cleaned away his first attempt, we got to work. Sebastian followed each of my instructions and asked dozens of questions about why I was doing what I was doing, as if he wanted to learn. The man was going to return to meals professionally cooked by a chef tomorrow. Why would he need to know any of this? But that was Sebastian in a nutshell. He wanted to understand anything he saw.
“Does this mean you grew up having a cook working for your family?” I asked as I prepared the garlic butter that would go on the bread before I toasted it in the oven.
“Actually, no. Not at all.” Sebastian paused in his tearing of the lettuce to gaze at me. “When I was a kid, my family existed right there on the edge of middle class. My parents took turns cooking our family meals. My family wouldn’t be considered rich until I was a senior in high school. Even then, my parents were reluctant to hire a cook. They enjoyed making meals for our little family. Plus, I always had a friend or two over to bum a meal. It was only later, after my sister and I moved out, that they hired a cook to come in and prepare meals four days out of the week.”
“Why didn’t you learn to cook while you were in college?”
Sebastian’s smile turned crooked, and he shrugged one shoulder. “My first year in college, I was on the meal plan, so I was eating out of the cafeteria or takeout every day. From my second year on to graduation, I was living in a house with four other friends. Rome’s parents were paying for the house, and Pierce’s family paid for food as well as the live-in chef and housekeeper.”
I stumbled to him, cackling. “Oh, my God! Can you get more spoiled?”
“It might sound nice, but they were fucking spies! Every time any of us did something even a little questionable or brought anyone back to the house for some fun, a parent was calling or showing up on our doorstep the next damn day. We couldn’t get away with anything!”
I was laughing so hard, I was wheezing. My eyes watered, blurring my vision. “You’re killin’ me!”
“How did you learn to cook? Did one of your parents teach you?”
My laughter died in my throat, and I coughed to clear it again. “No. Not really. I picked up a few things watching my dad when I was young, but most of it I learned from videos or trial and error. Ate a lot of burned meals for a while.”
I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye as I smeared the butter on the bread, and it looked like he wanted to ask more, but nothing came out and I could breathe easier even as guilt knotted in my stomach. He was so free with the information about his past and his family. Everything about my life after Ronnie’s accident was a mess, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it. It would only destroy the cozy atmosphere. Was it wrong that I wanted to use this time together to escape my life? To pretend that I wasn’t one disaster away from shattering into a million pieces?
These nights with Sebastian were like stepping into a dream, and I wanted to protect this bubble of happiness for as long as I could.
Conversation remained relaxed and easy as I finished up the spaghetti. Sadly, he was out of defrosted meat for meatballs, but the bread and salad helped to make the meal filling enough. We continued our conversation as we ate at a small round table in a sunny breakfast nook off the kitchen. Sebastian dug out a bottle of red wine that was the best I’d ever tasted. It might have been a simple meal I’d cooked a thousand times, but everything about it seemed better because of the company smiling at me from across the table. Not to mention, the strawberry cake that Sebastian’s chef had made for dessert was positively divine.
Thankfully, Sebastian did know how to load a dishwasher. I’d tried to help him clean up when we were done, but he’d ordered me to sit on the stool at the island and sip my wine as he worked.
“And we will not be telling Carol how badly I fucked up dinner,” Sebastian announced as he dried off his hands on a dish towel.
“Your secret is safe with me,” I said, tipping my nearly empty glass at him.
“What would you like to do now? A movie?”
“Actually, I would love a tour of your home, if you don’t mind.” I stood and patted my belly full of delicious carbs. “It would give me a chance to walk off dinner and dessert.”
“I would love to.”
Sebastian hurried around the island and took my hand, threading our fingers together as he led me through his enormous house. Sebastian had us backtrack to the foyer so I could see the front parlor, the formal parlor, the lounge, the billiards room complete with two pool tables, the formal dining room, his home office, and then the most glorious room—the library. And yes, the gorgeous beauty had a rolling ladder. I had to use every scrap of willpower to keep from pulling a Belle and riding that thing down the wall. But beyond the ladder, I loved that his library wasn’t about fancy leather-bound collectibles that couldn’t ever be touched, let alone read.
Sebastian’s shelves contained classics and genre fiction, well-worn and loved paperbacks nestled in with hardbacks. This was a library that was more than a showpiece. It was a place that Sebastian frequently used.
In truth, I really didn’t want to move on from the library, but there was still so much of the house to see. We ventured to the lower level, where he had a home theater with three descending rows of plush reclining leather seats and one big leather couch in the center of it all. The air had a hint of popcorn, as if he and some friends had used the room not long ago. This had all the beauty of going to the theater but with the bonus of privacy and the ability to pause the movie for bathroom breaks.
“Hey! Why didn’t we use your theater for our second date?” I demanded, as he led me out of the room.
One corner of Sebastian’s mouth tipped higher. “I wanted to make sure you felt safe with me, and a public place is more likely to do that than my secret theater room in the basement of my home. And going out to a movie theater makes it feel like a more traditional, real date.”
Sebastian’s thoughtfulness made my heart speed up. I didn’t mind falling for this amazing man, but why did I have to fall so damn fast?
He jerked his head toward the theater room. “Do you want to watch a movie?”
I quickly shook my head. “No, I want to see the rest of your house.” Besides, I had other plans for this sexy man.
With a tiny smirk, he continued on our tour, showing me the indoor pool, which led to the outdoor pool and flower gardens.
We paused outside as the sky turned dark and the lights around the garden popped on. There was a heavy silence in the area. Not a single siren or car horn to be heard. Just the croak of frogs and crickets beginning their nightly chorus. It was peaceful in a way I hadn’t been able to experience in a while.
But I knew we hadn’t seen everything. In fact, there was an entire second floor he’d not shown off yet. That was where the guest room I had slept in was. And it was definitely where his bedroom was. Had he avoided it to not put any pressure on me?
So sweet. So chivalrous.
So silly.
“Are there any other rooms we haven’t seen yet?” I inquired, giving his hand a squeeze.
A grin toyed with those perfect lips as he stared at me. “Well, there are a couple of rooms you haven’t seen. Do you want to check them out?”
I turned toward him, sliding my hand up his chest to rest over his heart. “I would love to see them. And in case you think I’m being too subtle, I want to know where you sleep.”
Sebastian caught my hand and lifted it to his lips, where he pressed a kiss to my palm. “I think I can arrange that.”
The pace became faster as we entered the house and headed upstairs. Within a minute, Sebastian was pushing open the double doors that led into a vast room with immense windows that faced the rear lawn and pool. Everything was decorated in shades of blue and gray, giving the room a cool feel. It took me a moment to locate the bed, but once I did, I couldn’t turn away.
This was where Sebastian slept against soft, silken sheets. Did he sleep naked? In briefs? Did he actually own pajamas? What did he look like when he was sleeping?
These questions and so many more were buzzing through my brain. I needed to know the answers.
I wasn’t sure what tore my eyes away from that bed, but I finally found Sebastian standing several feet away. Everything about him had become a single taut muscle, clenched and frozen. A look of hunger was etched into his face, giving him a harsh edge that made my mouth dry and my skin tingle. I could feel his desire hammering me in hot waves, but he didn’t move.
In the three years I’d known the man, Sebastian Courtland had done a million little things to wear down my resistance. And over the course of a week, he’d doubled that number. Yet, this shimmering second right here was when I knew I didn’t stand a chance. I was going to fall in love with him.
He was waiting for me to make the first move. No pressure. No teasing. No cajoling or enticing. I could choose to turn around and walk out of this room, and he wouldn’t try to stop me. I knew it like I knew the world was round. He wouldn’t hold it against me. We’d move on as though this moment had never happened.
How could I not fall for someone who respected and valued me so much?
I took a step toward him and then another. He didn’t move. He might have even stopped breathing. It was only as I reached up to cup his face with my hands that his frozen state finally shattered. His arms closed on me like a pair of steel bands and pulled me as his mouth descended onto mine in a blistering kiss. I melted into him, every inch of my body pressing into his, setting me on fire.
The kiss went on and on, our tongues sliding along one another as he explored my mouth as if he were trying to taste every bit of me. My left fingers threaded through the silky soft hair at the back of his head while my right hand slipped down his chest, where his heart thundered. I plucked at the buttons on his shirt, fumbling with them as I fought to get to bare skin.
One of the hands pressed to my spine dropped to grab one ass cheek. Sebastian squeezed and kneaded that mound of flesh, and I moaned into his mouth. He lifted me almost off my toes, rubbing my aching cock with his through our clothes.
“Dearest,” I panted, breaking off the kiss. “Your clothes are beautiful, but right now I need them fucking gone.”
“I love when you get bossy,” Sebastian growled. “You gonna tell me how to fuck you, too? How fast? How hard? How deep?” With each question, he thrust his hips, scrambling what was left of my brain. How was I going to be bossy? I couldn’t even form words. For Sebastian, I’d try.
After stealing one last searing kiss, I pushed out of his arms. I backpedaled while tugging at my shirt, pulling it from where it was tucked into my pants. “Strip,” I barked.
A cocky grin spread across his lips. “I don’t know if I can do it without music.”
I threw my head back and laughed. Sadly, I’d been toeing out of my shoes at the time and almost fell.
As I regained my balance and glanced at him, Sebastian had lost his shirt, revealing a broad chest with a nice fur of blond hair I instantly itched to touch. He was gorgeous.
My gaze followed his hands to his belt, and my heart picked up. I’d seen the equipment he kept hidden there, gotten a taste of it, but this time would be so much more.
Except he stopped moving. My eyes snapped to his face to find him smirking at me with one eyebrow raised.
“If you’re just going to watch, I’m definitely going to need music.”
Watch?
Oh, shit! I was supposed to be undressing, too.
I attacked my clothes with renewed vigor and purpose. Shirt, pants, boxers, socks—all of it went flying to the sounds of Sebastian’s chuckles.
But all that stopped when I marched to him, and our bare bodies collided in a rush of heat. A hiss escaped me as we touched for the first time. It was like being scalded, and I wanted more.
Sebastian’s massive hands wandered my body, caressing and massaging any bit he could reach, while steadily inching me back. It was only as the mattress hit my legs that I even noticed we’d been moving across the room.
With a grin, Sebastian bent, grabbed me behind the knees, and lifted, dumping me onto the bed.
I laughed and stretched out my hands toward him, wanting to pull him on top of me. “Is sex with you always like this?”
Sebastian pressed one knee into the mattress and paused, his smile softening. “No. I’ve never laughed like this with someone in bed. Not until you.”
Everything he said and did was a shot straight at my heart. I had no defense against him. “How the hell are you still single?”
“I’m hoping that I won’t be for much longer. There’s this sexy guy that I’ve got my eye on, and?—”
“Enough!” I laughed, waving my hands at him. “You’ve already got me naked and in your bed. Do something about it.”
Sebastian caught my hands and pinned them to the blankets above my head as he leaned close to steal a deep kiss. I raised my legs and wrapped them around his waist, pulling him in even closer.
All the laughter fell away, and the heat rushed in. His chest hair scraped deliciously across my skin and teased my nipples. Sebastian slid his mouth from mine to skim along my jaw and down my neck.
“I need to worship all of you,” he mumbled against my skin.
What he meant was that he intended to lick, suck, nibble, and kiss every inch of my body. My job was to lie there and wallow in the onslaught of his very thorough affection that left my cock aching and my ass empty.
It was only when I was begging for relief that he finally stopped long enough to fetch a condom and lube.
I moved to the center of the bed and flopped onto a massive pile of pillows. Sebastian crawled across the mattress to me, his hard muscles undulating under golden skin. He was a powerful god, and I was his very willing sacrificial offering just begging to be devoured.
“How do you prefer it?” Sebastian inquired, pressing his sweet lips to my collarbone.
“Usually on my knees from behind. But not tonight…” Something about Sebastian made me feel daring.
Sebastian lifted his head a little, waiting for me to continue.
“I want to face you like this, so I can see your expression as you’re coming.”
That devilish man licked his lips, the fire burning brighter in his eyes. “Guess I better do a good job of prepping you.”
Unfortunately, I was not prepared for Sebastian’s brand of prepping. He tongued my ass and then sucked my cock while working his fingers inside of me. I was balanced on the very edge of orgasm for what felt like an eternity. Just as I was sure I’d crack, Sebastian would pull me back again. My legs trembled, and my entire body was slick with sweat.
When Sebastian finally stopped to slip on the condom, a relieved sob nearly broke from my throat. His feverish gaze roasted me as the fat head of his cock brushed against my hole.
He pushed in slowly, and my body stiffened at the intrusion. No matter how well he’d prepared me, he was still large, and it had been a while since I’d last been penetrated.
“Should I stop?” Sebastian demanded after he’d already stopped. His voice was low and rough, as though he’d been gargling gravel. Muscles strained and twitched as he fought to remain perfectly still.
“No. Don’t stop. Just go slow.”
Sebastian’s grin was tight as he put one hand under my left knee and pressed my leg up toward my chest. At the same time, he continued to push forward, filling me with his phenomenal thickness. My eyes rolled into my head, and I moaned loud enough to be heard by all of Sebastian’s very distant neighbors.
“Fuck, baby,” Sebastian swore. My eyes flicked open to focus on the lines of strain cutting across his face and the beads of sweat gathering on his brow. “You feel so good.”
With a trembling hand, I gripped my rock-hard cock. I gathered up the cum leaking from the head and smeared it down the shaft. As I stroked myself, my hips raised, and I took in more of him, causing us both to gasp.
“Yes,” I hissed. My body adjusted to his girth, and I shoved aside the lingering bite of pain to wallow in the ecstasy of this moment. “More. I want all of you.”
Sebastian delivered.
He steadily filled me up, giving me every sweet inch of his dick. When he was completely inside of me, the most beautiful look of bliss filled his face. I wanted to keep staring at him, but it became too difficult as he moved. Each thrust tried to knock the breath out of my lungs. My hips lifted to meet his while my hand shuttled on my cock faster and faster. As my pleasure built, my eyes fell shut and my head pressed into the pillows, allowing me to soak in everything I was feeling. My orgasm was so close now. I didn’t want to fall off that cliff yet, but the combination of tender torment with the incredible pounding into my body was driving me insane.
“Fuck,” Sebastian growled, and my eyes popped open to see his gaze glued on the spot where our bodies met, as if it hypnotized him.
“That’s it, dearest,” I purred. “Fuck me harder. I want everything you’ve got. Show me how much you want me.”
A snarl left my lover as he gripped my hip with his free hand and tilted my body just right so that on the next long, deep stroke he punched my prostate, leaving me seeing stars. An electric current shot along my nerve endings, and I was done. Two more hard thrusts, and I shouted as the ecstasy I’d been reaching for finally slammed through me. Hot, sticky cum splashed across my hand and over my stomach. My ass muscles clenched tight, but Sebastian didn’t stop. The little devil even sped up, fucking me through my orgasm and straight into his. I barely managed to focus on him as he shouted his release. His expression twisted up in a way that almost looked as if he were in pain, but he finished with a loose, sloppy smile that squeezed my heart.
With a final exhale, that giant man collapsed on top of me, his face nuzzled against my neck. We both panted like we’d run a marathon.
“That was amazing,” Sebastian said in a rush of hot breath on my sweaty skin.
“Uh-huh. Definitely need to do that again.”
“Yes.” Sebastian’s head popped up. His hair was a sweaty mess, but his grin was a bright, shining star. I’d seen him in Saville Row suits and elegant tuxedos, but in this moment, right here, I swore he’d never appeared more handsome to me. “Frequently. Anytime you want.”
I wanted to tease him, but as I opened my mouth, the only thing that came out was a yawn. Of course, Sebastian was full of energy, as if the orgasm had revived him. He carefully withdrew from my body and disappeared into the bathroom to deal with the condom. When he returned, he had a warm damp washcloth he used to clean me up. After drying me off with a fluffy white towel, Sebastian climbed into bed with me and bundled us up in his silk sheets.
I could feel myself drifting, my eyes growing heavy as I lay stretched out in his bed, his arm wrapped around my stomach. Sebastian was an oven next to me, but I didn’t mind. Everything in me was so relaxed, I didn’t want to stir, but I knew I had to.
With as much effort as I could muster, I cracked one eye open and my gaze landed on the digital clock on his nightstand. It was such a relic. Why would he need one? He probably always had his phone on his nightstand? Except there was no need to grab my phone with that clock. That was why he had it.
It was late, but not ridiculously so. If I left now, I wouldn’t be in danger of falling asleep on my way home.
“I need to get going,” I mumbled, still trying to find the energy to get my ass up.
Sebastian’s arm tightened on my waist to the point of dragging me across the bed so that I was flush with his body from head to toe. “No,” Sebastian growled into my hair.
My body shook with silent laughter. “I have to go. It’s late.”
“You don’t have to go. You can sleep right here. There’s plenty of room. I’ll even let you have your own side of the bed…for part of the night.”
“So generous,” I teased. And it was tempting. His bed was ridiculously comfortable, the right balance of soft and firm. Not to mention, staying would mean more amazing sex. “I can’t. I need to get up early tomorrow.”
“Nope. Tomorrow’s Saturday. I checked. You can sleep in. Carol will make you another delicious breakfast. I haven’t even shown you my shower yet. It has four showerheads. We can shower at the same time, and I’ll wash your back.”
Evil. This man was pure temptation.
“Can I take a rain check? I was planning to drive down to see Ronnie tomorrow, and his hospital is near Louisville.” It wasn’t a long drive. Just a little more than an hour for me, but sometimes seeing Ronnie meant waiting for a few hours to make sure he was medicated properly and in a good head space for visitors. Plus, I thought I’d pop in to check on my mom after seeing Ronnie. At best, it was going to be an exhausting day. It was better to start early so I could spend the rest of the evening recovering.
“Of course. No need for a rain check.” Sebastian pressed kisses along the nape of my neck and across my shoulder. Each one stole away some of the tension that had entered my body at the thought of my plans for tomorrow. “This spot is reserved for you permanently. Anytime you want to sleep right here—day or night, weekday or weekend—it’s yours.”
“That sounds really nice.”
“Would you like me to go with you tomorrow? Not to meet your brother. To be there. Maybe drive if you need a break.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against the sudden, unexpected sting of tears. My throat tightened and for several seconds, I could only lie there, soaking in the warmth of his offer. I shook my head and swallowed so I could speak. “No, it’s okay.”
I didn’t deserve Sebastian Courtland. There probably wasn’t anyone in the world who did. Even if he was simply on loan to me for a short time, I was going to enjoy this warmth and support while I could.