Chapter 13
13
W esley was almost packed, but he was panicking a little because he couldn’t find his Xanax. Zeke was sitting on his bed watching him pack, which didn’t help his anxiety at all, and to make everything worse, he was leaving that boy behind.
This might be the worst day of his whole life.
He sighed heavily and dug through his suitcase again. There was no way he could fly without his Xanax.
“Okay.” He went still, hands flat on the pile of clothing in his suitcase. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to remember where he’d packed it. He was usually good about this stuff. “What the fuck did I do with it?”
“Let me look in the bathroom. Did you check beside the bed?” Zeke got up and started hunting, his boy’s movements tight, worried, stressed out.
“Just sit. You don’t even know what you’re looking for.” He shook his head. Zeke didn’t need to know. Nobody else did.
“Well, you can tell me, and I’ll hunt it.”
He just waved Zeke off. Oh . Maybe it was in his coat. He went to the closet and started searching his pockets.
“Are you okay, Sir?” Zeke came to him, rubbing his shoulders.
“No, actually. I can’t fly if I—” He sighed. “If I tell you, you can’t tell another soul, okay? Please.” But if he couldn’t tell Zeke… “We probably shouldn’t have any secrets between us.”
“Your secrets are safe with me. I swear.” Zeke held his gaze, sure, steady.
He nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m… afraid of flying. Like, to a totally irrational extent. I’m looking for a bottle of Xanax.”
“Oh, no problem. I bet it got mixed up with my meds. I’ll go look.”
Just as easy as that.
Boom.
“Oh. I didn’t think about that.” He followed Zeke. “I’ve never told anyone about that. I’m so embarrassed.” He didn’t fly with people he knew for just that reason. He always found some need to leave earlier or later than anyone he was traveling with.
“Oh. I have issues with anxiety. I take something daily, but I won’t tell anyone. I swear.” Zeke did have a full medicine cabinet—from cold meds to prescriptions.
Secretly, he hoped he might ease some of the daily anxiety Zeke was feeling if they ever moved in together.
When.
When they moved in together.
Maybe that wasn’t a thing, but he’d like it to think he could help.
“Oh. Is that it?” He pointed because he didn’t want to invite himself to poke around Zeke’s meds.
“There we go.” Zeke handed it over, offering him a smile. “I got your back, Sir.”
“Thank you.” He took Zeke’s hand. “It’s stupid I guess. It just doesn’t fit my—thing. It bothers me.” And it bothered him that it bothered him too. He couldn’t win.
“I hear it. I don’t advertise—not that all the guys here can’t guess, but you know what I mean. Brain chemistry is a medical condition, just like diabetes or bad veins.”
“Yeah. I know.” For what that was worth. He took the bottle and put it in his carry-on.
“I—I wish you didn’t have to go.” Zeke offered him a sad, little grin. “I don’t suppose you want to become a spoiled hermit with me?”
“I have an event in two weeks. I have to go get it off the ground. People are counting on me.” He curled an arm around Zeke. “And I’m not really a hermit type, you know?”
“I know. I’m proud of you. I can’t wait to hear about it all. See pictures of you in your tux. All the good things.”
“Distance is a good test. I’m hopeful we’re going to pass it.” They’d been together one whole week. He couldn’t help it. He was already making plans to bring Zeke to him. “Whatever song you write about this is going to be a huge hit.”
“I hope so. I like those paychecks.” Zeke took his hand, squeezed it. “I’ve got enough fodder to write a bunch, Sir.”
“And a few stripes on that pretty ass to remember me for a couple of days.” He had no idea how to handle this though. He hadn’t ever really been this attached to anyone.
“I’ll remember you forever.” Zeke lifted his hand, kissed it. “You have my word, Master.”
They didn’t have to settle for a chaste kiss. He caught Zeke’s face in his hands and kissed him hard enough to make the boy dizzy.
Zeke held on tight, moaning into his mouth and keeping his focus. He didn’t rush the kiss. He had a little time, so he tasted his boy and explored with his tongue, mapping out a memory for himself.
He was going to miss Zeke, so badly, and he was going to bring his lover home, dammit.
His boy.
He ended the kiss and took a breath, keeping Zeke very close. “Mine.”
“Yes, Sir. All yours. I promise you.” Zeke kept his eyes closed tight.
“I believe you, Zeke. I know we feel the same way. I know this is going to be really hard.” The temptation to just tell Zeke to pack was almost too hard to resist, but he really believed they needed a little space, a little normal to get perspective.
“It is. But we have phones. We have FaceTime. That’s more than some people had in the past.”
“And it’s just hours between us, not worlds. You know, I’ve never had another reason not to want to get on a plane.”
“Well, maybe I’ll have to come visit you next. Maybe. I used to like flying.”
“I would love that. After this event, I’ll have some time off. Maybe you’d like to come to New York or San Francisco?” New York was a long trip from Alaska, but it was where he liked to spend his free time.
“I can try. It’s a long series of flights, and I want to make sure I can still come back here. All my instruments are here.” Zeke smiled at him. “We’ll see how you feel in a few weeks, huh?”
He was pretty sure he knew how he’d feel in a few weeks, and it was something along the lines of desperate to see Zeke again.
“I’d never keep you from your work. I’m leaving because mine is important. When you need to do the same, I’ll understand.”
Zeke nodded. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.”
His phone rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket knowing what it meant. “They’re going to tell me my ride is here.” He texted them back because he didn’t want to talk.
Wesley
I’m on my way
“Okay. I’ll be thinking about you on the plane. Let me know when you get home?” There were tears shimmering in Zeke’s eyes.
“I will. I’ll be on New York time…” He closed his suitcase and hauled it off the bed, then went back to Zeke. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Zeke. Don’t worry, okay? About anything.” He gave Zeke another quick kiss and headed for the door. He knew Zeke was going to cry, and he wouldn’t be able to go if he saw that. “I’ll call you soon.”
I love you.
As the door closed behind him, he wondered if maybe he should have said it out loud.