Chapter 15 #2
“But you don't dance on stage ever and I don't sing on stage ever, okay?” he underlined. “No one wants to hear me try to carry a tune. Not even for love.”
Benny agreed without complaint and they officially took singing and dancing in public off the table. His attention wandered over to the beach next.
Golden Boy and Felicity had set themselves up on chairs they'd pulled from the boat. They had been in a constant loop of talking and laughing since they’d sat down.
“You know, we never asked what it was they were doing for their talent,” Benny realized. “We could go over there and fish around? See if we can't get it out of them.”
Part of Jack wanted to know what their competition was thinking, but the louder, more insistent part of him had decided Benny’s idea had an ulterior motive behind it.
Jack instantly remembered Benny’s expression back on the boat during Carol’s little game.
The man hadn’t known any of the answers.
Except for Marcus’s.
He grabbed Benny’s wrist and gently pulled them further into the water.
“Honestly,” he said. “I rather keep doing what we're doing.”
Benny didn’t disagree.
* * *
All attempts to find a common talent were abandoned as soon as their fingers started to prune. Jack laid out two towels for them and plopped right down into lounge mode on the sand. He rested one arm over his face, the other palm up in the sun near the waistband of his swimming trunks.
Benny eyed the area. On accident.
He too leaned back. Trying not to openly ogle the bartender while swimming—while existing—was proving to be harder than he had hoped. The man had a good body, with a happy trail and honest-to-goodness V-line to boot. And he knew it.
Jack Knox was confident in his looks, his body, and his banter.
While Benny had fought to put himself into a more relaxed rhythm, Jack had joined his groove with ease. He would have envied the man had he not made Benny feel so…included.
Even now, eyes covered, lying flat, his leg had listed toward Benny.
They weren’t touching but it was enough.
Benny wasn’t an outcast here.
At least not on the sand with Jack.
The sound of laughter pulled Benny’s attention towards the water they’d just left. Marcus and Felicity had brought out floats. Marcus was struggling to get on his while Felicity watched from hers. Both were laughing at the ongoing struggle.
Their scene, plus his still-lingering bravado, encouraged Benny to do something he hadn’t had the courage to do yet with Jack.
“Can I ask you a question?” The words escaped louder than Benny intended. He was quick to add on, “Feel free not to answer if it’s too personal.”
Jack kept his arm over his face and waved him on with the other.
“Ask away, sweet cheeks.”
Benny mentally side-stepped the nickname and adjusted his gaze to the passing cloud overhead.
“So, I know you’ve obviously dated women before because of Felicity,” he dove in. “And I’ve assumed you also date men since you said yes to fake dating me but, well, I haven’t actually asked yet. You know, what your, uh, preferences are.”
Jack, and that confidence he wore like a second skin, was smooth with his response.
“I’ve been with two guys and two women before, Felicity being the longest relationship I’ve had.
The only thing I prefer between the two is someone who won’t make me feel shitty about caring about my family’s bar.
Everything else is down to attraction and personality.
Sometimes they surprise me, sometimes they don’t. ”
“So that’s why no one batted an eye at you being with me,” Benny surmised. “I mean, the me being a guy part.”
Jack shrugged against the sand.
“I think any shock came from the fact that I went public,” he said. “Other than Felicity, I’ve been pretty private with my dating life. Even with her, she wanted to be more lowkey because of her job, so only Dixon and Santana really saw us doing anything coupley.”
Benny nodded, despite Jack not being able to see him.
“So, I’m like your tiebreaker.”
Benny felt the heat in his face the second he realized the comment had escaped his mouth.
“I-I didn’t mean it like that,” he instantly started to backpedal. “Especially since you just said you don’t actually have a preference, it’s just based on the person and—”
The laugh that tore out of Jack was so pronounced that it stunned Benny to a stop.
He looked over at the bartender to find the man already staring.
“Benny De Carlo, are you trying to keep me grounded in the land of dick?”
His body reacted faster than his mouth. Benny used both hands and pushed the bartender.
“Jack!” he half-yelled, half-squealed.
Jack’s cackling was equally loud.
He rocked on the towel from the shove and shook with each laugh.
“I-I mean, isn’t that what it comes down to?” he managed. “You-You want to score a win for the-the guys? Ti-tip the scales with my— With your tip.”
“Jack!”
Benny hadn’t meant that.
But he also had.
He just hadn’t meant for Jack to know that.
Certainly not for him to hear it.
He had, though.
And Benny’s cheeks were like the sun itself.
Instead, he embraced the cream of it all.
Benny rolled over and lunged for the man lying on the towel next to him. He tried to cover his mouth while accidentally laughing himself.
Jack didn’t move away from the attack, but he did block it.
One hand caught Benny’s wrist with ease before it could cement over his mouth. The other snaked around his waist. The former pulled Benny flush against him. The latter kept him there.
Benny felt his laughter intertwine with Jack’s until both slowed to a stop.
Then it was just breathing.
Calm and warm and no space between them.
Jack’s hand moved across his waist and lounged flat against the small of Benny’s back. He didn’t release his wrist. Instead he stared into Benny’s downcast eyes.
“Would this have made the blog?” Jack’s voice was just as warm as his chest. Benny relaxed a little into both.
“What do you mean by this?”
Jack lightly shook Benny’s wrist. He tapped his finger against his back next.
His answer wasn’t their physical closeness though.
“The game on the boat, this lying in the sun to dry off thing. Just us, right here, talking.”
Most of their bodies were pressed against each other.
Benny couldn’t help but wonder himself.
He felt his brow furrow in thought.
He was sincere with the words that followed.
“The game on the boat would have, but the rest probably wouldn’t have. Not before the blog went viral.”
“Why?”
Jack’s genuine curiosity kept Benny’s filter switch off.
“The game was frustrating and embarrassing and hurt a little,” he admitted.
“I felt like I lost when the goal was just to have fun. But talking and lounging here with you? It doesn’t feel like a loss.
Or a win. It’s just—” Benny paused to try to find a more articulate way to explain how he felt.
He gave up and went for simple. “It feels normal. Safe from all the highs and lows that I needed my blog for. I’m not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed. I’m whelmed. It’s nice.”
Jack breathed out, Benny felt it against his chest.
Then he let go of Benny’s wrist.
For a moment, he thought he’d offended Jack.
“It’s probably because I’m the only one you don’t have to lie to.” Jack’s voice had lowered. It rumbled through Benny. “You don’t have to guard against me.”
Benny considered that a moment. He let his now-free hand rest on Jack’s shoulder. Moving the rest of him off the bartender never crossed his mind.
“I guess that could be it,” he obliged. “But, I don’t know. I think it’s also because it’s you.”
“Me? What’s special about me?”
Benny didn’t have to pause to consider this.
“You don’t wait for me.”
Jack’s eyebrow raised.
He hurried to elaborate.
“What I mean is— I’ve always felt like I’m in some kind of spot where people are waiting for me to do something. Go quiet, confess, gossip, break down, give up. Fix something, break something else. Grow. Wilt.”
Benny let out a long breath.
“Ever since my parents passed away, ever since I came out, ever since I decided to grind a billion part-time jobs so I can start my own business someday, ever since the world found out I never told my first love that it was love for me… I feel like people have just been waiting for me to do something. But you?” Benny let out a little laugh.
“I told you, while hammered, that I wanted to marry the Golden Boy of Arbor Bay. And you didn’t wait to see what I did next.
Even now, fake-dating to sell an ending to the story, you still just feel here.
No pushing, no handing me a shovel to dig my own hole.
You’re with me. No stress. Even your complaints are kind of comforting. ”
That was the long and short of it, Benny decided then.
Jack Knox never made him feel like he had to perform. That he had to move. That he had to rise or fall.
He just was there.
And it was nice.
Benny smiled at the feeling.
Jack did something else.
He cupped the side of Benny’s face and pulled him through the short distance between them.
The kiss was soft.
Soft and warm.
Then it was over.
He pushed Benny away just enough to be able to stare him full in the face again.
Benny couldn’t place his expression.
Like the kiss, however, his words were soft.
“You might just break the tie after all, sweet cheeks.”
Benny’s face finally heated.
He wasn’t sure what would have happened next—or what he would have wanted to happen—had the sound of laughter not come from behind them.
“Hey, lovebirds,” Carol called out. “We're about to leave, so maybe don't start something you can't finish!”
He might have disliked Carol and her antics, but in that moment, Benny couldn’t help but feel a little bit of gratitude towards the woman…and the irony of the truth behind her teasing.
Starting something with Jack now was dangerous because that meant at some point they’d have to finish it.
And Benny wasn’t sure what that would look like.
Or if he even wanted it to end at all.