Chapter 20
‘You remember each other?’ asked Beth, somewhat unnecessarily.
Sam and Lavinia were standing at opposite ends of the hut but the connection between them was unmistakable. Beth blinked uncertainly, turning to look at Jake who was watching the pair with equal fascination.
Sam’s hands were shaking and for a moment, Beth was worried that his legs wouldn’t support him as he took a few unsteady steps towards the woman in the doorway.
‘Remember her?’ he said, his voice gruff. ‘How could I ever forget her?’
‘Hello Sam.’ Lavinia was trembling almost as much as Sam, holding out one hand to grasp a pile of boxes and steady herself. Her voice was soft and full of emotion. ‘Weren’t you going to visit me while you were in Welby?’
Another faltering step and Sam was almost within reach, stopping a few paces away and staring at Lavinia as though he couldn’t quite believe his eyes.
‘I heard you’d left, moved away – with him. I heard how happy you were, that you had a family and a good life together. After that I stopped asking about you, I didn’t want to … I couldn’t…’
Jake’s eyes were almost as wide as Beth’s and the two of them shared a furtive glance. Was this the woman Sam had been mourning, wondered Beth in amazement. Was Lavinia his lost love?
Lavinia smiled, her eyes glistening with tears as she nodded.
‘We did move. To Bournemouth.’ She lifted her chin, her voice firm. ‘I loved Neil, and he loved me. We had many happy years together and two fine sons. But he died over twenty years ago and I moved back to Welby. Back home, where I belonged.’
Sam was listening, his eyes never leaving Lavinia’s, his face twisting with emotion as she spoke.
‘You broke my heart, Sam. You broke my heart and Neil helped to mend it.’
A strangled sob erupted from Sam and Beth saw Jake hold out a hand, ready to catch the old man should he fall.
‘I broke both our hearts, my darling. I was young and stupid. I thought if I stayed in Welby with you, I would never escape, never break free and see the world.’ He rubbed at his eyes with his free hand, his legs still trembling. ‘I had foolish dreams about strutting back into town in a few years to sweep you off your feet, to show you how well I had done out there in the big wide world.’
Seeing he was near collapse, Jake stepped forward, placing a supporting arm across the elderly man’s back. ‘Steady Sam,’ he murmured in his ear. ‘Take it easy, my friend.’
Leaning on Jake, drawing strength from the tall frame, Sam continued with a sad smile.
‘I was so wrong, Lavinia. So very wrong. I knew within weeks I had made a mistake. I missed you so much, I couldn’t believe I had ever been foolish enough to walk away. I was so arrogant, so wrong. All I wanted to do was come home and beg you to forgive me.’
‘Why didn’t you?’
‘Because I was also too proud. Young, foolish and proud. A terrible combination. I decided I had to make the best of things and work twice as hard so I could at least come home a success. Then I heard you were engaged to Neil and my world ended.’
‘I waited,’ cried out Lavinia, one hand resting on her heart as though to soothe its ache. ‘I waited for two years! But you didn’t come back. You didn’t even write. And eventually, I had to accept that you’d gone. From Welby, and from me.’
Realising her cheek was wet with tears, Beth rubbed a hand discreetly across her face, only to notice Jake blinking rapidly as he watched the two people who had loved and lost but never forgotten each other.
‘I can’t expect you to forgive me because I never forgave myself,’ whispered Sam, shaking his head in despair. ‘I’ve spent my entire life regretting my actions. I hated myself for years. There is no forgiveness.’
Beth’s eyes flew to Lavinia, her plump cheeks damp, her lips tilted in a soft smile as she took in the man before her, his white hair and lined face, his shaking hands and trembling legs.
‘I forgive you, Sam,’ she said gently. ‘I forgave you a long time ago. We loved each other too much for that to turn to hate.’
A sob shook Sam’s frame and Beth gulped, her heart breaking for the elderly man she had become so fond of.
‘Lavinia?’ he whispered.
And the last few steps were finally taken as Lavinia moved forward, taking his hand between both her own and holding it tightly.
‘I forgive you, Sam. And I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you again, after all these years. So very happy.’
Taking a step back, Jake released his hold as Lavinia took his place, her arm sliding around Sam’s shoulders to pull him close, resting her head on his shoulders. Beth saw the wonder on the old man’s face, quickly followed by a look of such deep and happy contentment that she felt a sob break free from her throat. They had loved each other in their own way for over 50 years. Was this finally their moment, their chance at happiness together?
Catching Jake’s eye, they both sidled towards the door, pulling it quietly closed behind them and taking a few steps to stand on the decking, silently, side by side.
Ahead, the blue sea shimmered as though a million diamonds had been sprinkled across its surface, white-tipped waves breaking lazily onto a golden beach. The sky was clear, the air fresh and clean and the sound of children playing in the distance dancing on the slightest of breezes.
A wave of loneliness swept over Beth. Sam and Lavinia may not have had the smoothest of paths through life, but their love for one another had survived 50 years. Would Beth ever find a love like that?
‘Puts it all into perspective, don’t you think?’ muttered Jake. His hands were in the pockets of his shorts, his eyes fixed on the horizon, his face thoughtful.
‘Life?’ she asked
‘Love,’ he answered and they remained where they were, listening to the call of the gulls and letting the tranquillity of Welby-on-the-Sea wash over them.
Beth: I’m sorry about the wine
Matthew: I should think so! I came to say sorry. And why do you constantly feel the need to try and drown me all of a sudden?
Beth: You broke my heart
She remembered the look in Sam’s eyes, the hurt and despair she had seen on his face when Lavinia told him how much she had loved him.
Matthew: I’m sorry- I keep saying I’m sorry
Sorry because things weren’t working out as he had wanted them to. Sorry because he was finding life with Laura difficult. She stared out to sea, closing her eyes and feeling the sun on her face. It was time to say goodbye. Contrary to everything she had believed, Matthew Pettigrew was not the man for her.
Beth: I know. But I think perhaps it’s time to accept that it's over. We don't need to talk about it anymore Matthew. There's nothing left to talk about
Matthew: Why?
Beth: Because you left me. Betrayed me. It’s over
Matthew: But I said I’m sorry
Beth: Sometimes sorry simply isn’t good enough. Goodbye Matthew
She lifted her gaze from her phone and took a deep breath. Looking down towards the town she could see the house, Jake’s house, at the end of the cobbled lane. He had muttered about needing to sort something out and left her to stride across the beach. As she watched, the brightly painted front door opened and out stepped Jake. He paused for a few moments before turning and speaking to someone inside.
He must have been to visit Portia decided Beth. He turned and began to walk briskly along the lane, his head bobbing amongst the tourists until Beth lost sight of him, although she carried on watching for several more minutes, searching for him in the crowd.
Was Portia the thing he’d needed to sort out? Sam and Lavinia had provided a salutary lesson in love, perhaps it had inspired Jake. If he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Portia, he would have to say so now, and not regret his actions for the next 50 years. Beth’s heart gave a little skip. It was a lovely thought, growing old with someone you loved, happy and content with the life you had together.
Matthew: Don't be too hasty. Let's talk again when you come back to Bristol. Let's work this out
Maybe Beth would have something similar herself one day. But it wouldn’t be with Matthew. And it was unlikely to be in Welby. Her eyes moved back to the horizon. Which was a shame because, unlike Sam, she didn’t feel the need to escape and explore what else life had to offer. City life had its compensations but this last week had reminded her how much she loved this little town. It brought a sense of peace to her soul that had been missing for a long time.
She imagined staying here, finding her true love and walking down the street hand in hand, watching their children playing on the golden sand. It brought a smile to her lips, a small but steady smile. She could only hope. Saying goodbye to Matthew was the first step and the rest was in the hands of fate.
Matthew: Beth? Are you there?
She let her imaginings drift with the wind, feeling the warmth of the hand that cradled hers, the sound of their children’s voices. They would have a small rowing boat like Aunt Lizzie had and they would take a tour around the bay on Sunday morning, before eating ice creams sitting on the harbour wall.
She tipped her face to the sun. She would make sure the children knew how lucky they were to live in such a beautiful place. And her husband would squeeze her fingers to show how much he loved her as they walked home across the beach.
In her dreams she turned to meet his green eyes and smile at him, only to gasp in shock. Of course it wouldn’t be Jake Balfour! What on earth was she doing imagining such a thing? As if they would ever be a couple!
Matthew: Beth?
In annoyance, she turned off her buzzing phone. This daydream was getting out of hand and she shook her head, casting the image into a thousand little shards that slowly floated away before she sat on the deck and waited for Sam and Lavinia.