Chapter 32
‘Beth dear, did you think Jake and Portia were back together?’ asked Sam carefully.
‘Well yes! That’s what you all told me, or that’s what I thought you’d told me. I mean, that’s what I understood but maybe…’
Jumping to her feet, Beth began to pace, not easy in the cosy living room already occupied by Lavinia and Sam, and she had to climb over their legs to get a decent amount of strides in, before turning around and making her way back to the chair she had just left.
‘Is that why you left so suddenly?’
‘No. Sort of. I needed to go back to work and I couldn’t…’
Beth had decided she couldn’t face the thought of walking past the blue door and imagining Jake and Portia inside, not just yet, so she had fled Welby the morning after the council meeting.
She looked at her watch. It was 8:55. Far too late to start knocking on doors, particularly blue ones and asking questions about the occupant's love life.
‘Go,’ said Sam with a smile.
‘What?’
‘Go. Speak to him. Tell him.’
Beth clutched her hands in agitation. ‘I can’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘He might not want to see me. He might have been glad I left Welby. He might have been glad to see the back of me. He might…’
‘He might be delighted to see that you’re back. He might want to talk to you, now that you’re both free and single.’
Beth stared at Sam’s kind face.
‘What if he doesn’t feel any of those things?’ she whispered.
‘Do you want to spend the next 50 years wondering how he really felt? Take a tip from someone who knows, talk to him now. Find out for sure how you both feel. And then move on, either together or certain in the knowledge that you haven’t simply missed each other, like ships in the night, sailing past an opportunity to be with each other.’
Meeting the gentle blue eyes, Beth tried to control her shaking hands and hammering heart.
‘I…I…’
‘Sam’s right,’ said Lavinia gently. ‘You need to find out. Go.’
The rain was still falling and the cobbles were glistening beneath the street lights as Beth hurried along the path by the harbour wall. Every step took her a little closer to the house by the beach and by the time she was only a few steps away, her courage had almost failed her.
Sally: Have you arrived safe and sound?
Beth: He didn’t get back together with Portia
She paused. The door was only a few feet away. A few more steps and she could reach out her hand and lift the whale-shaped knocker.
Sally: What? How do you know? Who told you? Have you seen him?
The shutters were closed against the rain and the darkness but Beth could see a faint glow from within. There was a light in the front room, did that mean Jake was inside?
Beth: Lavinia and Sam told me
Would he wonder who was knocking on his door on a cold, dark rainy night? Would he briefly wonder if it were Portia, wanting to speak to him?
Sally: And?
Beth: And I’m standing outside his door now
Would he be disappointed to find it was Beth standing there?
Sally: Why?
Beth: Why what?
Sally: Why are you standing outside his door? Is he in?
He wouldn’t be wearing his sunglasses, she would be able to see the expression in his eyes. Would it be disappointment?
Beth: I think so
Would he sigh at the sight of her standing there, wondering what she wanted this time?
Sally: So knock!
After all, it was just something people said. Oh, let’s get together for a drink next time you’re in town. Okay, it wasn’t something that Beth had personally ever said, but she was sure other people said it. It didn’t mean anything.
Beth: What if he doesn’t want to see me?
Sally: There’s only one way you’re going to find out!
He wouldn’t have meant the next time you’re in Welby, come dashing around to my house even if it’s dark and raining and late at night.
Sally: Have you knocked?
Beth: Not yet
Sally: Please just knock!! Put me out of my misery!!
She could say she was passing, except his house was the last one on the small cobbled lane and she couldn’t pass it on her way to anywhere but the beach. And who visited the beach in the dark? And the rain.
Beth: I can’t
Sally: Yes you can! Knock on the door. NOW!
Beth took a step forward. Her feet were inches from the small stone step, her hand could reach the knocker sitting patiently on the blue door. Sam said she needed to find out, if only to save 50 years of regrets and uncertainty.
Sally: KNOCK!!
She could live in Welby her entire life, just like Aunt Lizzie. She could watch Jake going about his life and always wonder, always wish.
Sally: BETH! DO IT
Beth: Okay. Here goes nothing
Her hand was trembling, her fingers pausing briefly as they touched the shiny brass of the knocker. And then it was done. She let it fall against the door, listened as it hit the wood and then took a nervous step backwards, her knees turning to jelly.
Sally: Has he answered? Is he there?
Beth: I’m waiting
Everything seemed to slow down. The raindrops hung in the air, caught in the light and shimmering gently. The wind seemed to drop. The background noise of the sea disappeared. And in front of her, the door remained solid and unmoving for what seemed like a lifetime.
Sally: What’s happening?
Beth’s breathing was fast and shallow, then stopped altogether, catching in her throat as the door suddenly moved, rattling slightly before opening, a little at first, then wider and wider still. The light from the room beyond lit up the figure standing in the doorway, and with a look of surprise, Jake peered out at Beth standing wet and bedraggled on his doorstep.
‘Beth?’ his voice was surprised and he took a step forward, as though establishing it was indeed Beth Carter who was knocking on his door.
Sally: Has he answered?
He was close enough for Beth to see his eyes. The green merman eyes, completely exposed, nothing to conceal his thoughts.
And she smiled. Because there was no disappointment in those green depths. No wariness, no sense of irritation. Surprise. And relief. Maybe even a touch of humour. And definitely, most definitely happiness.
Sally: Has he answered? Are you talking to him?
‘You’re back,’ he said, somewhat unnecessarily.
‘Yes.’ Beth nibbled on her lower lip, not entirely sure what she was going to say now she was here. ‘You said you’d like to catch up. Get a drink or whatever,’ she added breathlessly.
‘And you said that wasn’t a good idea.’
‘I know. But I thought you were… I was wrong.’
Sally: Okay- I’m guessing he’s home. Good luck honey. Be happy
They stared at each other.
‘I heard you were coming back to Welby. To stay.’
Beth nodded. ‘I’ve got a job. And a flat.’
More silence. More staring.
‘That’s really good news.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes.’ Jake smiled. It lifted his lips and crinkled his eyes. ‘Very good news.’
Beth could feel her own lips turning upwards even as she shivered in the cold rain.
‘You’re drenched! I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting to find you on my doorstep. Come inside.’
He stood aside and Beth could see past him into a small cosy living room. A fire was burning lazily in the stone fireplace and it looked as though he had been sitting in the armchair by its side, a cup of tea still on a small side table, a book discarded on the seat.
She stayed where she was, on the doorstep, shivering in the rain. ‘I don’t want to disturb you. I mean, I know I have but I just wanted to say… I wanted you to know…’
Jake waited patiently.
‘I just wanted you to know I was back in Welby and that I would like to catch up, you know, have a drink, or a meal, or even just a walk on the beach. If you would still like that. Although if you don’t,’ Beth continued hurriedly, ‘if you’ve changed your mind and would rather not, that’s okay as well. But I would like it and I wanted you to know I was here. In Welby.’
She stopped, peeping up into the green eyes, crinkled with amusement.
‘I haven’t changed my mind,’ he said solemnly. ‘I’ve been waiting for you to come back. I thought maybe once you moved to Welby I could try again.’
‘Try again? Try what?’
The grin spread across his entire face and Beth had a moment of wonderment at how she could ever have believed him to be arrogant, unfriendly and generally irritating.
‘Try asking you out without making you angry, or falling out with me, or generally getting in a huff because someone was being nice to you.’
Okay, maybe he was still a little irritating.
‘I don’t…’ she began, only to stop with a giggle. ‘Well, maybe I do. But only with you.’
‘Please come inside, Beth,’ he said softly holding out a hand, strong and steady. ‘I feel like I’ve been waiting forever.’
With a shy smile, she took the offered hand. ‘I’m not disturbing you?’ she asked breathlessly.
‘Yes.’
‘Oh! I’m sorry I…’
‘You always disturb me. You've been disturbing me since that first morning on Lavinia’s balcony.’
Her heart thumped.
‘A good kind of disturbing?’ she asked hopefully.
‘Oh, a very good kind of disturbing,’ he said lazily. He pulled her inside, holding her so close that Beth could feel the steady drumming of his heartbeat and smell the faint tang of cedar wood soap on his skin. ‘And I’m hoping that you’ll carry on disturbing me for a long time to come.’
‘Really?’ asked Beth, tremulously.
The cold of the evening was forgotten in the warmth of his hold and to her delight, he pulled her even closer, his lips almost touching hers as he gazed down into her face.
‘Absolutely.’
Beth gave a small gasp of longing at the expression in the green eyes.
‘You don't think you’ll get fed up with having me around every day?’
‘Never.’
She could feel his breath on her skin, the heat of his hands on her back and her eyes were fixed on his lips, moving closer and closer.
‘Even if I get cross,’ she whispered, wondering how it would feel when he finally kissed her.
‘That's part of the attraction,’ he murmured, his lips almost touching hers, his eyes drifting across her face, taking in every curve and contour.
‘Are you sure?’ Their heartbeats seemed to have become one and all Beth wanted now was to be kissed. To be kissed and to be held against that strong, warm chest.
‘Oh yes.’
And finally, his lips were on hers and Beth heard herself groan out loud as sheer happiness exploded all around her. She closed her eyes, feeling the touch of his mouth, soft and warm, kissing her gently at first and then with a passion that made her shiver with delight, deep and utter contentment filling her entire body as she trembled in his arms.
Eventually, he lifted his head and stared into her eyes and she clung to him, her breath coming in short sharp bursts.
‘We didn't get off to the best start, did we?’ he asked softly. ‘Perhaps we should begin over?’
‘Perhaps we should,’ agreed Beth who just wanted him to kiss her again. And never stop.
‘Hello, Beth Carter,’ he said with a smile, one that lifted his lips and softened his face.
‘Hello, Jake Balfour,’ she whispered back, her heart racing with joy.
And then his lips were back on hers and Beth’s heart began to sing, absolutely certain that she was about to begin a whole new life in Welby, a life with someone who would still be holding her hand in years to come as they walked across the golden beach, listened to the seagulls high above and watched their green-eyed children laugh and play outside a pink beach hut.