Chapter 9
Chapter
Nine
ZANDER
I hoped I wasn’t making a terrible mistake.
“Zander,” Momma began, but I cut her off with a wave of my hand.
“He needs this.” It had just about killed me to see him claw at his wrists so desperately that he hadn’t even noticed when he’d begun to bleed. I feared that if we didn’t allow him this, he’d injure himself trying to get the cuffs off.
Not to mention the fact that I’d promised not to control him. The cuffs might be for everyone’s protection, but that didn’t mean they weren’t controlling him. I couldn’t make a liar of myself.
“Thank you.” Reid sniffed, lifting his hands to his face—likely in an effort to dry his eyes—before turning back to us.
“Give me your hands.” I held out mine, palms out, hoping that the position wouldn’t intimidate him. I’d definitely gotten the impression that he didn’t like alphas in his space, and he certainly didn’t trust them.
The need to be free of the cuffs must have outweighed his fear because he placed his hands docilely in mine and I grasped the cuffs and gave the magic a few seconds to work before pulling them off him.
Reid brightened immediately. The scent of ozone filled the air and the shadows in his eyes lessened.
Guilt clogged my throat and I struggled to draw in a breath. I hated that we were doing this to him. I could only imagine how it would feel to be cut off from my bear the way the cuffs cut him off from his magic.
It wasn’t fair. He’d been through so much already. I didn’t want him to suffer for a second more, but we also couldn’t take the risk that he’d decide to avenge his mate’s death.
Yes, Trent had been his captor, but mate bonds were rarely logical.
A bluish-yellow glow surrounded Reid and he closed his eyes, his expression blissful as he reconnected with his magic. But within an instant, his face crumpled and he curled in on himself.
“I… I… something is different,” he whispered. “I must not have sensed it earlier because of how my magic was being controlled. I can’t tell what it is, but there’s a new… flavor… of magic in the mix.”
“I’ll get you a pregnancy test.” Momma hurried off before he could protest and returned a scant thirty seconds later. She thrust a pregnancy test into his hands. “Use this.”
He nodded jerkily and brushed past us into the bathroom. The minutes he was gone passed by excruciatingly slowly. I knew what the result would be, and I hated to think of how it might affect him.
When he emerged, his face was pale and his hands were shaking. “It’s true.” His eyes filled with tears. “I’m pregnant to that… that monster.”
His shoulders shook and he wrapped his arms around himself, lowering his head and biting his bottom lip so hard that I smelled blood.
My bear grumbled and Reid flinched away.
Shh, I warned my bear. He doesn’t know that you’re unhappy he’s hurt. He thinks you’re threatening him.
Mate, my bear sent back. Comfort. Hold. Soothe.
I started to reach for Reid but then froze, knowing he wouldn’t welcome any comfort from me. Still, I had to try, right?
“Can I touch you?” I asked softly.
“No. I can’t take it.”
Reluctantly, I lowered my hand and started to back off but before I’d made it more than half a step, Reid swayed toward me. I stood locked in place, scarcely daring to breathe. While he might not consciously want me anywhere near him, subconsciously he knew that I could ease his pain.
I stayed right where I was, neither leaning into him nor moving farther away.
“It’s going to be okay,” I murmured, keeping my voice low and my tone gentle. “You’re going to be all right. Whatever happens, I’m here for you. It’s up to you what you do about this baby. Nothing is set in stone.”
It would kill me if he wanted to abort the baby or arrange for them to be adopted, but I’d understand. He’d been through too much already.
“Do you want the baby?” I asked, forcing myself to go on. “If not, there are options.”
Reid worried his torn lip and the metallic scent of blood intensified.
“I don’t want an abortion. That doesn’t feel right for me.
I need to think.” He grabbed the sides of his head and groaned.
“I hated Trent, but we were mates and then I lost him and now I’m pregnant with his baby.
It’s a lot to process. I don’t know what to do. I need time. I…”
“You have time,” I said gently when he didn’t continue. “At least a little. You don’t have to make any decisions today. Whatever you need, we’ll make sure you have it, so don’t worry about that. But first, you should eat.”
“I’ll get started on breakfast,” Momma said, her face wreathed with concern. “Is there anything in particular you’d like, Reid? Toast or pancakes or eggs?”
Reid rubbed his stomach. “I can’t eat.”
Momma made a soothing sound. “Sweetheart, you need to eat, for your baby’s sake. I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you a while to gather your thoughts, but if you haven’t come for breakfast within the next two hours then I’ll bring you a plate.”
Reid didn’t argue. Momma retreated to the kitchen and I mentally debated what to do. I doubted that Reid would want me to accompany him to his room, but if I didn’t then I’d have to cuff him again.
However much I might not want to believe it, Reid posed a threat to Grizzly Ridge. To my family. He’d said it himself: he had complicated feelings for his mate. He’d hated him, but the mate bond was there regardless—and we’d killed Trent. We simply couldn’t risk the possibility of him retaliating.
But I refused to put the cuffs on without doing something for his sore wrists first.
“Come with me,” I said.
His eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Why?”
“I want to treat your wrists.”
He glanced at them in surprise, as if he hadn’t noticed they were bleeding. “They’re fine.”
“Please.” If he denied me this, my bear might mutiny.
He stared at me for a long moment, as if evaluating my sincerity, and then nodded.
I went to the bathroom and he trailed along behind me. I pulled supplies out of the vanity and spread them out.
“Can you sit on the edge of the tub?” I asked.
He perched there and held out his hands awkwardly.
I dabbed disinfectant onto a cotton swab. “This will sting a bit.”
I wished I could take the pain away but unfortunately that wasn’t within my power. We were lucky there were even medical supplies in the house. We didn’t often need them, but since Milo had joined the family, Momma had made sure to stock the basics. We were all protective of the little human omega.
I swiped the cotton swab over his tender skin, dabbing away the blood and making sure that any areas where the skin was broken were cleaned thoroughly, then I tossed the swab in the bin and measured off two segments of adhesive dressing. I wrapped one around each wrist and secured them in place.
“Thank you,” Reid murmured. “I… I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome.” I wished we could leave it there. “Unfortunately, the cuffs need to go back on now.”
His eyes flew to mine and they widened. “No! Please, I’ll do anything. Don’t put those back on me.”
I grimaced. “It isn’t my decision. It’s for the safety of the clan.”
“I won’t hurt anyone!”
“You might not mean to, but anything could happen.”
His gaze darted to the door as if he was considering making a run for it, but then he slumped and held his wrists out for me to clamp the cuffs back into place.
“You say I should trust you,” Reid said as he stood, keeping his distance from me, and edged toward the door. “But how am I supposed to do that when you won’t trust me?”
He slunk away, leaving me feeling like I’d been speared through the heart.