Chapter 12
Chapter
Twelve
REID
“I’ll come with you,” I said, more because I didn’t want any other people in my space while I was so discombobulated rather than because I actually wanted to tag along. Besides, if this conversation involved the safety of me and my unborn child, I should be involved.
The doctor headed into the hall and Zander glanced over his shoulder at me before following. I hauled myself upright.
“How are you feeling?” Milo asked quietly.
He seemed like a gentle soul. Perhaps if he was happy here then one day I could be too. Although he couldn’t possibly be as damaged as I was.
“I’ve been worse,” I said, and it was true. Although usually, I didn’t have another life to worry about protecting. Only myself.
We padded along behind the others. Aaron and Melinda were in the kitchen. Melinda was in the process of kneading a ball of dough and she continued to beat on it as we entered.
Aaron, who scared the fucking crap out of me, looked at my wrists and grimaced. I immediately put them behind my back, but then thought twice and clasped them in front of myself.
Perhaps if he felt guilty he’d be more likely to agree with Dr. Black’s plan about the honesty oath.
“Doc has suggested an alternative to the magic-suppressing cuffs,” Zander said, leaning against the wall and crossing his long legs at the ankles.
His arm muscles bulged where they rested against his chest, and I had the strangest desire to bury my face between his pecs and let him wrap himself around me and take care of everything.
I wouldn’t, though.
He wasn’t someone I should seek comfort from. It was bad enough that I’d already allowed him to soothe me once. I needed to stand on my own.
“It’s a spell.” Dr. Black explained how the oath worked to Aaron and Melinda.
“We should do it,” Melinda said as she set the dough aside and covered it with a dish towel. “If it ensures everyone’s safety, including Reid’s, then I don’t see a downside. He’s been hurt enough.”
“More than enough,” Milo agreed.
I ducked my head, tears pricking my eyes, and my throat constricted. I was touched by their concern, but I couldn’t escape the ever-present shame of my situation.
I should never have been so easy to control.
If I hadn’t been used to letting others rule my life, perhaps I would have fought harder when Trent kidnapped me. Perhaps I could have stopped him and fewer omegas would have been stolen from their homes and mistreated alongside me.
“Is there a way we can do this to mitigate the risks?” Aaron asked, obviously more reluctant to trust me.
Dr. Black cleared his throat. “It’s my opinion that with the appropriate consequences for breaking the oath, it will be safe.
I’ve thought on the matter and I believe that the oath should be triggered if he attempts to harm anyone who is part of the Grizzly Ridge Clan.
The consequences would be the temporary stripping of his magic. ”
The bottom dropped out of my gut and my heart slammed against my ribcage. What the hell? He wanted me to willingly agree to something that could strip me of my magic? Had he lost his mind?
“Doing this would protect whomever he was about to attack but would also avoid any harm to Reid or his unborn child,” Dr. Black finished, looking quite proud of himself.
I backed up a step. Suddenly, this oath didn’t sound so good.
Catching sight of my expression, Dr. Black added, “It would only be temporary, and if you don’t try to hurt anyone then you won’t have any reason to worry. Wouldn’t you prefer to have access to your magic than wear those cuffs again?”
My airway constricted and I drew in a deep breath through my nose, blinking to dissipate the spots that had appeared in my vision.
“Reid?” Milo appeared in front of me, his bright eyes burning into mine.
“I need a minute,” I snapped, more harshly than I meant to.
His features flickered at my tone but he backed away, giving me enough room to breathe and think.
Dr. Black was right. I didn’t intend to harm anyone.
I’d done more than enough of that on Trent’s orders.
Not to mention the fact I doubted I could handle it if they tried to put the cuffs back on me.
I might scream or bawl or try to fight them off, and that would be humiliating because I’d never win in my current state.
“It’s not a bad plan,” Aaron said, giving it his tacit approval as Clan Alpha. “What do you think, Reid?”
“I… I…”
By the wall, Zander shifted, his muscles coiling and releasing, as if he was desperate to come to me but was holding back.
I appreciated that and, honestly, was once again caught off guard by his thoughtfulness. Having a massive shifter in my personal space right now would be too much and he seemed to realize that. Having Milo this close was all I could bear.
“I’ll do it,” I said, slumping.
“Then let’s get to it.” Dr. Black opened his satchel. “I’ve brought the necessary elements with me.”
He retrieved a candle, a small brass bowl, a piece of notepaper, a pencil, and a needle. I took the pencil and paper from him and jotted down the oath I swore to keep, then showed it to Dr. Black for approval.
“How does this work?” Zander asked as I folded the paper and placed it inside the brass bowl on the kitchen countertop.
“It has mostly to do with the spell caster’s intent,” Dr. Black said.
“I can’t use magic myself but I understand it well enough to know whether the spell works as planned.
Essentially, the caster writes the oath and consequences on a sheet of paper, adds a drop of their blood, and burns it, then says iusiurandum.
If the right intention is there, the magic will slot into place. ”
All of a sudden, Zander stood between me and the doctor, his big frame vibrating. “He has to bleed?”
My eyes widened and my breath caught in my chest. Was it just me, or did he sound almost… upset? Like he was protective of me and didn’t want me hurt.
My heart swelled and my throat clogged with emotion. Did he actually care? Was he telling the truth about wanting me safe and happy?
Dr. Black held out his hands and took a step backward. “Only a pinprick. He’ll barely even feel it.”
Zander growled. “A pinprick is too much. I don’t want him hurt at all.”
I shivered and tried to ignore the way blood rushed to my cock. Had I ever noticed how broad his shoulders were before, or how his muscular form shielded me so well?
“This will hurt him less than the cuffs have,” Dr. Black said, clearly trying to be reasonable.
“Not. Good. Enough.” Zander squared those massive shoulders against the doctor as if he planned to tackle him if he took a step nearer to me.
Needing a distraction before I allowed myself to want things I couldn’t have, I grabbed the needle, stuck it in the tip of my finger, and squeezed a drop onto the paper.
The instant the blood welled from the cut, an anguished roar tore from Zander. I flinched and immediately, he settled. He turned to me and seemed to shrink before my eyes, making himself smaller and less intimidating.
“Sorry,” he said, his nostrils flaring as his gaze locked on my fingertip. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I said automatically. Was it? Honestly, at this point everything was so topsy-turvy that I had no idea. “I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
While Zander was paying attention to me, Dr. Black lit the candle with a lighter that Melinda handed him, then used the candle to set fire to the paper.
Flames whooshed upward, then shot down as the paper rapidly burned up.
I channeled my intent into the spell, murmured the word he’d said—hoping I’d gotten it right—and felt the spell descend on me like an invisible robe.
“Is it done?” Aaron asked, poised to grab Zander if he freaked out again.
“It’s done,” Dr. Black confirmed. “All looks well. I don’t think we’ll have any trouble.”
“Thank the Gods,” Melinda said. “Reid, are you okay?”
“Fine.” I backed up, somehow feeling both freer and more stuck than ever. Yes, the spell made it possible for me to use my magic, but it was also something I could never get rid of on my own. Only Aaron, as the Clan Alpha, had the ability to remove the responsibility of the oath from me.
“Wait.”
I glanced at Zander, whose exclamation had halted my progress out of the kitchen.
“Can we talk for a bit?” he asked.
I narrowed my eyes and angled myself toward the door.
I was overwhelmed, and my instinct was to escape back to the bedroom and get away from all of these people, but to my chagrin, I was intrigued by Zander.
When he’d tried to defend me just now, he’d seemed so genuine.
Part of me wanted to believe in his sincerity.
“We can stay here,” Zander said, his deep brown eyes never leaving my face. “I know you’re not comfortable with people in your personal space. Milo can stay too, if you want.”
I hesitated, then asked, “Can I put a ward up around myself? It wouldn’t be complicated. I only know the basics.”
A deep groove formed between his eyebrows but he nodded. “Whatever you need.”
“Then we’re all right on our own.”
“Are you sure?” Milo asked, still hovering nearby. “I don’t mind.”
“No, it’s fine.”
He studied me for a long moment, then nodded. “Okay.”
Dr. Black tidied up his equipment and slung his satchel over his shoulder. He led the way out of the room and Aaron and Melinda followed, with Milo trailing behind. I was relieved when Milo left the door open.
I leaned against the kitchen counter, not willing to sit because doing so could slow my getaway if escaping became necessary. I didn’t think it would, but trust was difficult for me, and Zander hadn’t fully earned it yet, although his protectiveness today had been a step in that direction.
“How did you end up with Trent?” Zander asked, walking around the kitchen counter so that it was between us and sitting on one of the stools.
I relaxed a little. He was obviously trying to put me at ease by positioning himself in a less threatening way.
Sighing, I contemplated whether to ignore him or confess. The truth was, I was embarrassed, but if he wanted to discover how it had all happened, it wouldn’t be difficult for him to find someone willing to spill their guts. I may as well let him hear it from me.
“I went out on a date with him,” I admitted, keeping my gaze on Zander even though it was uncomfortable.
I didn’t want him to be able to surprise me if he moved quickly.
“I grew up in a small town and I was isolated from others my age. When I met him, he was charming and I fooled myself into thinking we might be mates. I was just rebellious enough to sneak away for a date and he used the opportunity to drug and abduct me.”
I hated myself for being so foolish.
“I’m sorry.” Zander’s voice was strained and his hands weren’t visible above the kitchen counter, but I suspected they were squeezed into fists. Whether it was his intention or not, I appreciated him not putting on a scary display of alpha angst.
I shrugged. “I learned an important lesson.”
Don’t trust anyone. Even yourself.
A muscle in Zander’s jaw twitched. He stood up and went to the kettle, flicking the switch to start the water heating. He grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and added a tea bag to one.
“Do you prefer tea or coffee?” he asked, poised with his hand above the box of tea, ready to grab another.
I cocked my head, wondering why the sudden change of tack. “Uh, coffee.”
With a forced smile, he nodded and packed the tea away. “Is instant all right? I don’t drink coffee so I don’t know how to use the coffee maker.”
“Instant is fine.” I’d been lucky to even get that while I was living with Trent’s pack.
He scooped a spoonful of coffee into the second mug. “Sugar? Cream?”
This was so strange. An alpha was actually preparing coffee for me.
“Creamer, if you have some. No sugar.”
This time, his smile was genuine. “I don’t consume much sugar either. My family likes to call me a health nut, but I think it’s important to take care of my body. It’s not as if I’ll get another.”
The kettle boiled and he poured water into the mugs, then added creamer to mine. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I did like sweet food, just not sweet coffee.
“Would you like a cookie?” he asked, stirring my coffee and sliding it over the counter to me. “I think I saw some in the cabinet. There’s oatmeal raisin as well as chocolate chip, if you prefer something with more nutritional value.”
“Chocolate chip?” I perked up before I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to be so obvious in my preferences because they’d been used against me in the past.
Zander smirked and plated two cookies–one of which he handed to me. “So, you do like some sugar, then?”
Hesitantly, I nodded.
“Do you have a favorite comfort food?”
I debated for a long moment whether to reply, but in the end, all he could do was withhold my comfort food from me. I hadn’t had it for ages anyway.
“Fried chicken.”
Mom used to make it for me back when she and Dad first started allowing me to be used like a battery by other warlocks. I think guilt had driven her to it. But she’d stopped feeling guilty a long time ago. I’d hardly even seen them in the last few years.
The cookie was good. We chatted a little while we ate about nothing important and, gradually, the muscles in my back eased and I stopped looking for traps or potential pitfalls in every word spoken.
A while later, Melinda popped her head in and announced that it was time for lunch and we needed to either clear out of the kitchen or help.
Zander excused himself, perhaps sensing that I’d taken as much of his presence as I could for one day, and I fled to the doorway. I was hovering there, uncertain what to do, when Aaron appeared beside me.
I squeaked, my heart hammering and my muscles going taut once again.
“Sorry.” He eyed me cautiously. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“It’s fine.”
“I just wanted to ask…” His steady gaze held me captive and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was some kind of Clan Alpha magic that made it difficult to resist giving him what he wanted. “What do you plan to do now that you’re free from the Red Moon Pack?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered, and that frightened me.
I had nowhere to go. No one to turn to. No resources of my own.
And I was pregnant.
Honestly, I was in deep shit.