Chapter 11 #2
As she offered introductions, Emilia curtseyed and Sebastian offered a bow. He offered his arm but there was little need with the three of them so close to the table. Isabel accepted it all the same, ignoring Emilia’s look as they settled in.
“Thank you for permitting my visit,” Emilia told Sebastian. “I understand my missive didn’t arrive as soon as I had hoped. Not that I provided much time as it stands. But I’m very glad to be here. Your home is very beautiful, and I love the strong winds coming through from the ocean.”
“They are bracing,” he responded politely.
Emilia nodded. “Must more enjoyable than London during this time of year. Everything turns gray and brown there. I rather like this. Do you enjoy the outdoors during the winter, Your Grace?”
“When I can,” he said in response. It was short and clean. It almost came off as rude.
It would have, if Isabel didn’t notice how tightly he clenched his silverware. She noted the white of his knuckles and wondered at the truth of his feelings. But Emilia started talking about riding during snowfall and Isabel allowed herself to be pulled into conversation.
The two of them led most of the chatter through their courses that evening, with mostly nods and the occasional acknowledgement from Sebastian. What Isabel wouldn’t have given to know what he was thinking. She felt her cheeks constantly flushed with laughter and cheer, and the heat was distracting.
As well as those looks he keeps sending my way. What could he be thinking?
Sebastian never offered up an answer that night, or in the three following evenings while Emilia joined them. Isabel was grateful for his presence, how it looked for them to be together. Otherwise, the duke kept himself scarce while they enjoyed themselves.
It was an enjoyable time where they painted, strolled outdoors, and enjoyed each other’s company. Isabel felt more merriment all over the house. She wished Emilia could stay longer, and said so during their morning tea the day that her friend was to leave.
“Another day. Another week. A fortnight, even. You could stay with us for Michaelmas,” she offered.
Emilia chuckled. “And disappoint my five nephews? I wouldn’t dare. They would hold it over my head for years. Oh, I wish I could. But we shall see each other again in London soon. For the spring. Won’t we?”
Realizing she wasn’t certain, Isabel gave a short smile. “I’m sure. But I shall miss you. I didn’t realize how much I needed your company.”
Her friend beamed before sipping her tea. “It really is as though no time has passed. How fortunate we are to be the best of friends.” She paused. “We are, aren’t we? Bosom friends?”
“Certainly. I trust you and adore you,” Isabel reassured her. Noting something in her friend’s face, however, she hesitated. “Is something the matter?”
Clutching her teacup close, Emilia glanced down and aside. “I’m afraid I have been holding something close that I should have shared sooner. You won’t be upset, will you?”
“I could never be upset with you.” Isabel put her own cup down and scooted closer. “Is something the matter? I am here for you.”
“As I am here for you.” Emilia smiled at her gratefully before taking a deep breath. “It’s only that during the first evening of my journey, when I stopped at the lodge, I met someone I recognized. Someone I knew.”
Something tightened inside of Isabel. She blinked, waiting. “Who?”
Emilia leaned forward. “Thomas.”
Retracting her hand, Isabel sat ramrod straight. “My brother?”
No one had said his name aloud in some time. Not even she had. She blinked several times, trying to understand. It was understood her brother had left Britain in shame and dishonor. He had disappeared one night, never to be seen again.
What could he be doing here?
A wave of emotion crested over Isabel, and she fought every feeling. The first spark of missing her elder brother. The guilt that followed, to care for someone so shameful. There was that longing and that confusion and the familiarity of her family being so close.
“I don’t…” Isabel let out a shaky breath. “Are you certain? Perhaps it was someone else. I believe I have cousins. Distant cousins elsewhere.”
“We talked.”
Isabel felt a lump forming in her throat. Grabbing for her teacup again, she filled it to the brim and drank. “Emilia, whatever did you do that for?”
And why had Thomas spoken to Emilia and not her? But Isabel knew better than to ask that question. It hurt her heart terribly to lose her brother in this way. But he had been selfish. He had admitted to the crime. He hadn’t stolen money to help the family or to aid anyone but himself.
It’s not as though he were ever a perfect sibling. We argued or ignored each other more often than not. And yet, he is family…
Emilia scooted closer with an earnest and eager look in her eyes. “Please, Isabel, listen to me. Thomas Ravenshaw is surely still a good man. He was polite and gracious when we recognized one another. Then he asked after you.”
“He did?”
“Of course! He misses you most of all.” Emilia’s eyes brightened as she carried on. “When he saw me, he was thrilled. Because he wants to speak with you.”
The joy inside suddenly deflated as worry overcame her. Isabel clutched her teacup with shaking hands.
Why would he wish to speak with me now? He left without a farewell. There is no reason for him to return at this time. What is he doing? I was alone in London for months. He could have come to me then…
“Yes?” Isabel struggled to keep the smile on her face. “Is that so?”
Her friend was too distracted to notice. “Yes! Isn’t that lovely? He told me he wants to find you. That he wants to make amends.”
“No!” Isabel put her cup down so hard and so quick that hot tea splashed all over her hands. She jerked away, standing. Her legs itches and her mind was racing. Shaking her head, she tried to understand what this was supposed to mean.
But it was the confusion that kept coming back. The feeling of betrayal. His abandonment. And she didn’t understand the timing. What was her brother doing?
“No?” Emilia slowly rose. “But Isabel…”
Too much had happened. Too much had gone wrong.
If her brother could have been a better man, then Isabel wouldn’t have suffered.
Recalling all of the social events she had attended where no one would acknowledge her, the shame her parents felt that was so heavy they were willing to abandon her like Thomas has, and the loneliness of seeing how no one was willing to stand by her side.
“No.” Isabel clutched her hands together when she realized how badly they were still shaking. She tried to smile at her friend to offer comfort. “I’m sorry, Emilia, but I never wish to see Thomas again. Not after what he did.”
The redhead was bewildered with her wide eyes and parted lips. “Oh.”
“Please, you must understand.”
With a slight shrug, Emilia confessed, “I’m not sure that I do, I’m terribly sorry, Isabel. But I care for you. You know that. You must know that. I may not entirely understand, but I trust you. I hear you. I’m only sorry to have upset you.”
“I’m not upset,” Isabel lied. She swallowed hard again and smoothed out her dress. “If anything, I’m only upset to be losing you so soon. When you visit again, you must stay at least a fortnight, Emilia. I won’t settle for anything less.”
Giggling, Emilia nodded. “I promise you.”
Through smiles and hugs, they pretended like nothing had happened. Soon Emilia was bundled up in her carriage on the journey home.
Isabel was left on the front steps of the estate, suddenly alone again, and thinking too much of her brother.