Chapter 18
It wasn’t as though Sebastian meant to agree to a match.
Everything happened in the blink of an eye. While he had worried Marcus would be too crude in front of Isabel, and she’d be too dismissive of this business, his concerns were evidently unfounded.
Those two were fast friends.
Sebastian huffed in annoyance while he wrapped his fists in tight bands. Glancing out of the ring, he watched his friend leading Isabel to a seat at the front. The first row had a tendency to catch sweat or blood or tears.
But neither of them seemed to notice he was glaring at them.
“Are you ready?” Stanley, another boxer who agreed to be today’s referee, asked him.
After discarding half of his clothes, Sebastian had also exchanged his shirt for another that he kept in the back rooms for days such as these.
It wasn’t infrequent for him to turn up for training or a sudden match.
There was enough frustration in his life that he had plenty of opportunities here, never able to comprehend the life of leisure for a gentleman.
There is too much to do in this life. With this title. But I am in the ring, and I don’t need to worry about anything else.
Or so he tried to remind himself.
“Your Grace?”
Sebastian gave a curt shake of his head. “Names only.”
That was one of the rules he had instituted here at the gymnasium in the beginning. He meant what he had told Isabel. No one was different inside of the ring. Here, he was not a duke. He was simply Vale.
“I should like to see why you like this place so much.”
Isabel had said that just before he grudgingly left her side, ensuring her in the care of his friend and the owner of this place. He couldn’t stop thinking about those words. And that hopeful smile of hers…
Did she expect something more from him? Or did she not understand?
Since they had entered this place––nay, since he had led her away from her soft and warm drawing room––Isabel had taken everything in stride. Those eyes of hers had turned golden as her interest grew, and she took everything in around them.
She is definitely not like any other duchess. They would have fainted at the very least, and yet she hasn’t flinched.
“Vale?”
“Yes.”
Sebastian responded without thinking. He was lost in his thoughts and hardly heard the clap of the out-of-tune bell. Marcus thought a broken one was good luck. Eventually, Sebastian would have to replace it without him.
For now, he had to focus on dodging Casper.
The other fighter in the ring was smaller but heavily built.
Still light on his feet, he had particularly strong hands from his time as a performing wrestler.
It had been a while since Sebastian had been in the ring with him, but he remembered just in time how Casper preferred to take the offensive at the beginning.
He stepped aside just in time.
Then Sebastian feinted one side to the next and swung, only to miss as well. His focus set in as he met Casper’s gaze. This was where he wanted to be, where his heartbeat settled, and he was in control. Slowly his shoulders relaxed, and he shook out the rest of his muscles.
Focused, Sebastian let in a punch before catching Casper on the shoulder once, twice––three times! The man stumbled back with a frown and appeared to reassess.
He only waited a second before diving right back in at Sebastian’s waist. A familiar move, one that he was ready for. He caught Casper and flung him off to slam him down to the ground. The other man coughed while Stanley called that round one was over––Sebastian had won.
“There ‘e is, that’s my boy!” Marcus shouted at him.
The second round started. Confident now, Sebastian let himself relax a little around Casper who was still a little reckless. He kept feinting in and out, surely tiring himself out. Three rounds would definitely be enough.
But then he was around the other side of the ring. Movement caught his eye along with the sweet sound of his wife laughing with a broad smile on her face.
Looking between the two, Sebastian frowned. Something had happened and he didn’t know what that was about. Were they laughing without him? A knot of irritation formed low in his belly.
And then Casper was there to knock him down.
Sebastian was caught unawares and went down fast and hard. He blocked the blows that rained down before finally dropping his arms––he gave up.
“Round two!” Stanley hollered for everyone. “To Casper!”
No one was watching. No one cares. It was not embarrassing. It’s only fair I give one to Casper… But what was Isabel laughing at?
“Ah, get yerself up!” Marcus called.
“Go, Vale, go!” Isabel cheered for him.
Grunting in irritation over the bruises he could feel already forming, Sebastian easily brought himself up to his feet. He fixed a loose bit of tape on his hands before nodding to Stanley to confirm he was set to continue.
One more round, he told himself. Perhaps he could go easy on the man… but then Isabel was betting on him and Sebastian didn’t want to disappoint her. Half a crown meant little to them. Marcus didn’t need it. But that wasn’t the point.
Sebastian rolled his shoulders back before lifting his fists. He moved around Casper to check for weak points. It only took a moment to find a potential opening as Casper was still tender from the first match on his right side.
The two men danced around the ring for a short time, testing and struggling to tire one another out.
Sebastian gave him a few chances before brushing him off.
And then he dove in, taking the next opening.
He caught Casper on the side of the head––a tender spot but less likely to break anything from his experience––and the man went down.
“The winner is Vale!” Stanley hollered. Then the man knelt down to poke at the losing boxer. “I think you knocked him out.”
“Good,” Sebastian muttered.
A loud shout sounded from nearby. He jerked his head up to find Isabel beaming at him, clapping her hands. She winked at him before turning to Marcus with an open hand.
While Sebastian grabbed a drink and a towel, his friend reluctantly paid up for the bet. It only took him a second to reach them as Marcus playfully scolded her on the dangers of betting.
“It is only dangerous when I am taking a risk,” Isabel neatly corrected him. “It’s not my fault you accepted a bet that would clearly end in your loss.”
Chuckling, Marcus waved at her to Sebastian. “What a sharp tongue you have! You had best take your lady or I’ll keep her meself, Vale.”
“Don’t worry.” Sebastian glanced at his wife thoughtfully before offering a partial smile. “She’s only here when she wants to be.”
“And we’re finished now.” The question was clear in her gaze that softened when he nodded.
Elbowing Marcus for being an annoying person, Sebastian promised he would return momentarily after washing up.
Usually he took his time. But today, he washed up quickly in the backroom before returning to his prior suit to make his way back out to them.
Glad to see Isabel was still safe and content, he returned to her side.
“I hope you learned your lesson about betting against me,” he said as he arrived to the two of them. “Duchess?”
She accepted his arm and turned to Marcus one last time. “Thank you for your generosity and time today, Marcus. It was a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to seeing you again.”
“Indeed, Duchess.” He beamed. “And if you ever tire of this lad ‘ere, you know where to find me.”
“Indeed I do.”
“Watch yourself,” Sebastian muttered and started to lead her away. “Happy Christmas, Marcus.”
Their friend hollered as they reached the door. “Happy Christmas!”
A short chuckle escaped Isabel before she stifled it. He glanced at her for a moment, amused and yet annoyed, but didn’t want to give it time just yet. First, they needed to return to the carriage.
It wasn’t long before the driver located them, and made his way over to them. Soon Isabel and Sebastian were back in the carriage. They slowed to purchase some roasted walnuts and hot tea for the drive before taking back to the road off to Eastwynd.
“Thank you again for today,” Isabel ventured while she nibbled at her walnuts. She took the smallest little bites. “I enjoyed meeting Marcus. He seems like a very good friend to you.”
Sebastian considered that for a minute. “Yes, he is. And you enjoyed his company, I could see. What did the two of you talk about while I was in the ring? I heard you laugh.”
He didn’t mean to give away that last part. The way Isabel looked up, those eyes of hers shining, told him he was giving something away. So he lowered his gaze.
“Yes, we were talking,” she admitted slowly. “But it was between friends. He told me we are friends now as well, after all, so it is a secret.”
Sebastian frowned. “I thought a husband and wife should not have secrets.”
“Do you not have secrets from me?”
Unfortunately, Isabel had a point. He looked down at his packet of roasted nuts for a spell.
They’d been dipped in honey before being sent into the gentle flames.
What a treat they had been for him as a child.
An awfully rare treat, one where he could spend days slowly sucking the honey off each nut before finally eating them one by one.
So far, today, he had only eaten two.
After Sebastian spent a minute wondering if it was worth pressing Isabel for her secrets, to know what made her laugh, he grudgingly gave up.
“I am glad you enjoyed yourself,” he said at last. “Marcus and the gymnasium are very important to me.”
“The two of you must have been friends for some time.”
He gave a curt nod. “For most of my life, really. Do you… do you know much of my past?”
Scooting further to the edge of her seat, Isabel opened her eyes wider than before.
“Not really. There are rumors, I suppose, but there are rumors about everything and anything.
The Eastwynd household doesn't know you particularly well. What I know most of all comes from our time together, I suppose. That, and you care about people.”
That surprised Sebastian. He straightened up in confusion. That wasn’t something that was often said about him. “What does that mean?”
“It means you are a good person.”
Such a simple answer in a complex situation.
A weight settled on his chest as he opened his mouth.
But what could he say? That she was wrong?
That she didn’t know what he had been forced to do to survive as a child?
He slowly closed his mouth, realizing he was about to take this conversation into a place he still wasn’t ready to show her.
The gymnasium was supposed to safe. That has to be enough.
“Sebastian?” Isabel asked when he said nothing.
Her voice was gentle as she set the nuts down in her lap.
“I really am grateful for today. For sharing this with me, it means a lot. What you gave me was a very generous gift. I would like to know more about you. I don’t care about rumors.
I care about the truth, and about you. How you came to meet Marcus, about owning the gymnasium, about everything. ”
Wasn’t this enough to prove I care? That I can be trusted? I cannot break myself open just to appease her. It would undo me.
His hand clenched over his own bag, crinkling the material noisily between them. “No.”
She didn’t appear as surprised this time. Although, he noticed, a little hurt. “No?”
“No,” Sebastian confirmed firmly. “I showed you all I could, Isabel. Enough that… that you might know me better. But it is all I can offer now. Don’t ask for more. I cannot give you what you want.”
Leaning forward, Isabel asked, “And what is it you think I want?”
Their faces were closer than Sebastian expected. He must have moved forward at some point and now she was right there before him. That earnest look in her face was terribly endearing. There was that bravery he knew lived within her.
And she feels the need to be brave around me.
Setting aside the nuts, he gently brushed a loose strand of hair away from Isabel’s cheek. Her lips parted but not a sound escaped. He wondered if this upset her. The look in her eyes changed to something warm, something he didn’t recognize.
Yet it intrigued him. Silence settled in the tiny distance between him and his wife. A silent whirlwind that made his heart hammer. Dimly recalling the way she had looked at him under the mistletoe, he thought perhaps this was a similar expression.
Then he caught his hand tracing over her jaw like it had a mind of its own. Or perhaps, he feared, like it was following his instinct. His desire, even.
So he pulled back. Turning pointedly away from his wife, he muttered to her, “You should get some rest. We have a long ride ahead of us.”
Isabel heaved a great sigh that he swore he felt brush across his lips. His face burned but he forced himself not to look back. Because if he looked, then he would talk. He might even touch. And he might bare the shreds of his soul to a woman who deserved so much more.
A new silence fell between them as they journeyed home. Isabel didn’t bring back any conversation, and Sebastian spent the while torn between wishing she would and relieved that she didn’t.
What was he supposed to do now with her?