Chapter 26
Sebastian savored the moment Isabel put her hand in his while she climbed into the carriage. His eyes followed her movements as she methodically fixed her skirts, straightened her sleeves, and settled her hat. She always worked her way up until she felt settled.
Then her eyes moved to him. “Will you join me here for the ride?”
Tempting, it is. She makes it that way. But she would see me much differently should I climb in and suffer an episode after half a day passes and I feel the walls closing in. I couldn’t stand for her to witness such a thing.
He couldn’t help but glance about the dark corners of the carriage with suspicion. A bitter taste coated his tongue as he shook his head. “I’m afraid not. But I’ll be riding alongside should you need my assistance.”
“The roads are dangerous,” she protested. “If anyone should need assistance it may be you and your horse.”
“Are you a good nurse?”
A wrinkle crossed her brow as Isabel said, “I suppose I might be a fair one.”
“Then I have nothing to worry about today.” Holding back a chuckle at the aggravated expression that covered her face, Sebastian moved back and clutched the door. “I’m close, Isabel, should you need me. We’ll be in London before you know it. Rest if you can.”
It looked like she needed the sleep. Sebastian said no such thing as he gently closed the door and put some distance between them. Darling as Isabel appeared, there were dark circles under her eyes.
It better not be from her brother’s visits.
A week had passed them by since their morning ride together.
Although he invited her several times to join her, and twice she had even agreed, it appeared Thomas was indeed attempting to monopolize her time.
The man was ever-present in their house.
At first, Sebastian had attempted to be agreeable, but his suspicions and doubts could not be ignored forever.
“Do you think it wise to spend so much time in his company?” He had forced himself to ask two nights prior when it was just him and Isabel at supper.
“Who, Thomas?”
“Aye. Your brother.”
Isabel had pushed her peas around on her plate with a furrow in her brow that looked deeper than he liked to see it. Although he wished to put the subject at rest, he couldn’t very well let her get hurt.
“He’s not a very good person,” Isabel said at last, showing she still carried her wits about her. “But I do think he is trying. Thomas grew up expecting the world on a silver platter, didn’t he? As did you, I’m sure. He made countless mistakes. However, I don’t think anyone is irredeemable.”
“I am glad you are making an effort. It shows your compassion and kindness.” He paused to swallow, measuring his words carefully. “But others may not look well on you for the connection should you strengthen your family bonds in this way.”
She set her spoon down. “Since when do you care what other people think?”
That garnered a frown as he said, “I don’t.”
“Then you shouldn’t say such things, Sebastian. I would think you of all people would appreciate that I am trying to keep some family connection whereas you have none.”
Stilling, Sebastian needed time to digest her words. It felt like she had wrapped him in a blanket of frozen thorns. He stared at his plate.
What was I to do, tell her the childhood story of how no one cared for the spare?
How no one searched hard enough for me for years?
How they hardly celebrated my return and merely sent me away once I was back?
There was no family connection to cherish.
At least not in my bloodline. But there are people in my life who would do anything for me, and I for them. That is real family.
A shaky breath sounded in the silence of the dining room, feeling much too large for them.
At first he thought it was himself until Isabel was rising to her feet.
“I… I shouldn’t have said that. I’m terribly sorry, Sebastian.
I think I am out of sorts. I’ll retire for the evening now. Do enjoy your supper. Good night.”
It had been one of their more unpleasant conversations since having her in his life. The following morning when he met her in passing in the hall after breaking his fast, Sebastian had immediately assured her that he held no ill will against her.
“Thank you,” Isabel had said in response. “I mean to think well of people, Sebastian. Of you and my brother, for example. He can be charming and clever. I wish you would give him a chance. We’re going down into the village to visit the vicar this afternoon together. Perhaps you would join us?”
He did join them.
Not wanting to give her too much time with Thomas in hand, Sebastian had left a few final duties to his steward while he enjoyed afternoon tea and crumpets.
The furniture creaked under him and he spilled crumps everywhere, but Sebastian had gone.
Isabel had even slipped her hand in his twice during their visit.
This should have made Sebastian feel much better. And yet, he didn’t like it. She’d had an evening alone with her brother and looked exhausted.
“Early, eh?” His driver asked as he swung into the saddle. “You’ll be nodding off on your feet before long, Your Grace.”
Maybe he had a point. Sebastian glanced out across the horizon where the sun was barely peaking over the hills.
He hesitated, wondering if he was growing paranoid.
His awareness helped him in the ring. But in this life, especially this marriage, he wasn’t so sure. “We’ll see about that. Are you ready?”
“Aye, Your Grace.”
They managed their journey westward to London. The drive was wet and slippery, but his horse was capable and their wheels were sturdy. He stopped them twice to switch horses, ensuring Isabel was warm and safe every time. By the time was setting, they made it to his town house.
Just for us. Not that bloody brother.
“How nice it looks,” Isabel murmured as she fought a yawn during her descent from the carriage.
“It is small,” Sebastian noted. He hadn’t realized that previously. It hadn’t been a concern. Thinking quickly, he considered the house had to be a quarter of what Eastwynd might be. Or even tinier. “If you wish for another…”
She glanced at him. “Another house? Don’t be ridiculous. We can make do right here. Shall we?”
Noting the neighbors were beginning to make an appearance, and not wanting to be caught in conversation, Sebastian tucked her arm in his to lead her inside.
He paused at the threshold. “One moment. Isabel, I should have warned you previously. This household can be rather… unique.”
“You’ve rescued vagrants and given them positions in your household?”
Sebastian blinked. “How did you know?”
Her lips curled into a slight smile. “I’ve heard things. I’m sure we’ll all get along just fine, Sebastian.”
Hearing the warmth in her voice gave him hope. He nodded, pushing back his concerns. After a warning knock, he pushed the door open to find the entire household already collected in the hall. Uniforms were mostly intact, as were their smiles.
“Your Graces!” His housekeeper, Mrs. Smithy cheered. “Finally!”
Her husband, the butler, gave her a small elbow in the ribs. “Quietly, dear. Duchesses prefer the quiet.”
“Oh, I don’t mind.” Isabel tugged Sebastian along with her, to his surprise. “We’re people and people make noise on occasion, don’t they? It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”
“I told you he would marry a lovely one,” Mrs. Smithy beamed. Her graying curls bounced with every word. “I’m Mrs. Smithy, Your Grace. This is my husband and head butler, Mr. Smithy.”
“She’s the head housekeeper,” Mr. Smithy said with a tired smile, and he seemed to wear the wrinkles for both of them.
Down the line the servants went, introducing themselves and their positions. Isabel nodded along and asked a few questions as she went. She was confident and kind, a proper lady. A proper duchess.
It really is a miracle that we found each other.
There was a twist in his gut as he let Mrs. Smithy lead Isabel away for a bath and quiet supper.
Sometimes Sebastian felt like he knew how fortunate he was to have her in marriage.
And then there were other days where he grew concerned it wasn’t enough, anything he could give her.
The distance was necessary as to keep her happiness. But sometimes…
“Your Grace?”
He turned to Mr. Smithy, who offered up a tray of letters. “Ah. The season begins, does it?”
“I’m afraid so,” the man said with a doleful expression. “The missus thinks we’ll have guests and be hosting daily. You wouldn’t let that happen, would you?”
“It might happen occasionally,” Sebastian admitted, resisting the urge to smile. “You had best prepare yourself.”
“I merely think you might need two head butlers for the future.”
“I’ll take that into consideration,” he promised and managed not to roll his eyes while doing so. Taking the letters, Sebastian made his way to the study––there were two desks here so Isabel would be able to take the other.
He set a few letters and clear invitations on her desk, though he glanced over the latter. Then he moved on to his own correspondence to see it would indeed be a busy season in Parliament.
It would be clear he wouldn’t have much time with Isabel moving forward. There would be much to be done. She surely had a social life here, and it was important they busy themselves in society to reassure everyone that all was well and past rumors could stay buried. This was always meant to happen.
But when Sebastian glanced over at the other desk, seeing it empty, he wondered if this was for the best.
At least Thomas is gone.
He sighed and focused on his letters before the hour grew late and Sebastian had to retire for the evening himself.
In the morning, London life began once more.
A fortnight passed in a blur for Sebastian as he returned to Parliament, made time for Marcus and the three other dukes who called their friendship the Compass Rose. He tried to make time for Isabel. Meals were difficult, but they managed two rides in the parks together and a handful of breakfasts.
He was at his desk the next time he saw her. “Oh! You are here.” Isabel closed the door behind her with a tight smile. “How long have you been home?”
Something about her behavior confused him, but he let it slide. “Only an hour or so. I came back for this file.”
“You could have had someone bring it to you,” she noted.
“But then I wouldn’t be able to see you,” he said with what he hoped was a friendly smile. She looked tired, Sebastian noted, even more exhausted than their long day of traveling into London. “Are you well?”
She stood at the door still. “Yes, of course. I’m very well. It’s only the cold.”
“The cold?”
“If I look unwell, it’s because of the cold. I only came to fetch something myself,” she added. She hesitated before leaving the door, and moving forward to her own desk not far from him. “I should be on my way.”
It felt like Sebastian was missing some key information. “Back into the cold?”
“Today is not that cold.”
He frowned. “Are you well? Is something wrong?”
“Of course! I’m just fine. I am… I am having tea with friends. We’re going out to have tea,” she tried to explain, “and I wanted to bring an old letter with me. That is all. See? Here it is. And I should go. Good bye, Sebastian.”
Before he could ask her about her presence at supper, she was gone. Isabel had left in a light storm as a few papers scattered about. Hoping to be helpful, Sebastian went to collect them. It wasn’t his correspondence, so he knew not to read it.
Except for one of them. An obvious invitation on crisp purple and gold leaf paper, someone was hosting a ball. Hope sparked inside his chest as he reviewed it carefully.
A perfect opportunity to make amends with her.