Chapter 27 #2
“But we already did that,” she reminded him.
“Then we should survive just fine.”
With that, he whisked her away into a set of country dances that made her smile and laugh.
Sebastian was light on his feet here just like he was in the ring.
She noted his strong features and delicate grasp on her while they went through their paces, wondering if Thomas was right. Hoping he was wrong.
Sebastian grudgingly but gracefully handed her off to Edmund Thornton, Emilia’s cousin who she knew fairly well, for another dance.
It was a busy ball as everyone was energetic from the winter and excited to see one another again.
She could hardly believe it, but no one brought up the scandal or her marriage or anything else worthy of rumors.
Though a few people definitely avoided her, as she avoided them, she was greeted eagerly into talking circles and asked to countless dances.
At least three hours passed without Isabel spotting her brother. As for Sebastian, he came and went to participate in several other dances and other conversations.
She returned to his side shortly before supper was meant to begin. Slipping her hand over his arm from behind, she was secretly thrilled when he immediately pulled her closer and turned to gaze at her.
“You couldn’t have known that was me,” she whispered.
“I would always know it is you. Is something wrong?”
“No, not at all. Well…” Isabel eyed the three men with whom he spoke, quickly realizing they were all dukes. All his friends, whom she had met prior. They greeted her politely before Sebastian excused them for a moment.
He asked her quietly, “What is it?”
“Nothing. Not really. Only I haven’t seen Thomas,” she said hurriedly. “I was surprised he wished to come this evening at all, but now I haven’t seen him and I’m growing worried.”
Sebastian, good man that he was, didn’t tease or mock her. “I’ll search for him at once. See if he is on the terrace if you like? I’ll investigate the other rooms and halls.”
“Thank you,” she whispered before he took off.
Sighing in gratitude, she made her way slowly across the ballroom to reach the large doors leading to the terrace. Doors and windows had been opened due to the suffocating heat of so many bodies dancing here. It was a bit stifling, so she was relieved to find her way outside.
“Isabel, is that you?”
She twisted to find her brother off in a shadowed spot by a large tree. “Thomas! There you are. I was so worried.”
He ushered her closer, eyes glancing around at the empty space.
“I thought it best to stay here. I’m afraid this evening has not gone well.
” Shushing her gasp, Thomas explained, “I’m afraid my once trusted friends can no longer be relied upon.
I thought I might find myself saved in the eyes of those who swore to love me and care for me, but every one of them has turned me away. Every single person but you.”
“Oh, Thomas, don’t be so downhearted.” She remembered all too well how it had felt to lose hope last autumn. Taking his hands in hers, she gave him a squeeze. “Everything will work out.”
The morose expression on his face said otherwise. “How? I checked with the courts. I must pay them back every penny if I wish to have the title bestowed upon me someday. Otherwise, it will die with Father once he passes. If he dies before I do, what shall become of me?”
Her throat grew tight. “I… I don’t know.”
“Oh, Isabel. I don’t know how I can go on.”
“Then you need money?”
Tsking, Thomas craned his neck up to the heavens with a look of utter dismay on his features. “What more can I do with money? I will never return such a sum to the crown. They’ll put interest on it too, if it takes too long. Oh, I’ll never get that much from the gambling houses.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re not going to try again. Are you? Because you had better not.”
He sighed heavily. “You are right, I can never enter a gambling den again. A hell, they call it, and right they are. My apologies for your sensitivities, my sister. No, I must carry on and… and find another way to regain restitution. Yet here you are. My last hope, Isabel.”
“What is it? Can I help you?”
Thinking quickly of her options, Isabel considered whether she might be able to gather more finances to help him.
Perhaps if she offered something or begged to Sebastian, he might be willing to offer assistance.
But even then she knew it hardly possible.
Her brother had cost them too much and she couldn’t ask that of her husband. Sebastian clearly didn’t like Thomas.
What of their parents? Surely they would still care for their son. There had to be something she could do. She bit her lip and tried to think.
“You can help,” Thomas reassured her. “You can forgive me.”
“Forgive you?” Isabel hesitated, feeling wary for a reason she couldn’t explain. She shifted her balance and glanced around to see no one else was out here still. Feeling a chill, she shivered and turned back to her brother. “What is it? Have I not forgiven you already?”
His eyes widened and he opened his mouth before snapping it shut and looking away. Then he turned back. “I pray that you have, to the depths of your heart. The sadness and shame I brought upon our family is something I can never remedy.”
“You have done what you could, have you not? You talked to Mother and Father?”
She herself had started corresponding with them slowly through letters. It had only been a handful thus far, but it was more than before. She had hopes that someday, all would be well between them.
“I mean for us. For you. I always thought of myself as a protector for you. I still remember when you were born. What a bold little girl you were, befriending the servants and father’s hounds.
You have always been a shining example of who I should be.
Trustworthy and caring and good. I should have done more for you. If only…”
Yet something about his words didn’t reassure her. “If only what?”
“No, don’t make me say it.”
Pulling her hands from him, Isabel sighed. “I cannot understand you when you speak in riddles, Thomas. Please do speak plainly.”
“You are right. You are always right, Isabel.” He sighed, leaning back against the tree. “What a brave duchess you have become. You practically shine. How grateful I am, truly, that you have someone to protect you now. I only wish I could do more.”
She shook her head. “You don’t need to do more, Thomas. You cannot do everything.”
“Yes, perhaps, and yet… Oh I shouldn’t. But if I don’t, then what will happen?” He talked to himself a moment before looking at her with a sad expression. “And you, my dear sister. What of you? For is protection all that he gives you?”
“Not this again,” Isabel sighed. “I don’t wish to talk about my marriage with you, Thomas.”
He frowned. “Whyever not? I am still your elder brother. I can protect you from mud puddles as a girl and then what? Am I to fall in them myself? I hear things, Isabel. I hear how Eastwynd keeps even his closest friends at arm’s length. The duke has a troubled past.”
Huffing, she gave a short shake of her head. “Everyone knows this.”
“And does everyone know that he married you only to silence gossip? Do you know that? Because I see the way you look at him.”
That made her cheeks flush. It was enough of a struggle to regularly fight feelings that she didn’t wish to feel. But could they be seen by everyone else? She took a small step back. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Do not get yourself caught up in his web,” her brother counseled. She resisted the urge to groan over him. “The man cannot be trusted. Perhaps he protects you in some ways but not all. I couldn’t do it, either. You must know better, Isabel.”
“Know what?” She snapped, growing tired of this. “Why don’t we go back inside? Perhaps we should talk to him and––”
“I only mean to say is that if he ever tells you not to love him, to like him, to care, that you must trust what he says,” Thomas insisted.
Isabel paused.
Has he not said that to me? That we cannot be more, that we will never be anything? Only married in name? Did he actually tell me not to care? I don’t recall.
The lump in her throat grew, making it difficult to swallow. “Thomas…”
“You must trust that he cannot protect you from everything. That he won’t. Because… I should not tell you this, sister, but I have strong reason to believe there is another woman.”
“What?” She gave a short laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous, Thomas.”
“Just because you have not seen her or heard of her, doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist,” he started. “Don’t you see? This is why I didn’t wish to tell you. But I had to say something. You deserve the truth. You cannot trust the man you married. It is best––”
She raised a hand, pushing him back when he stepped closer.
“No. I don’t want to listen to another word you say right now, Thomas.
Don’t you dare talk about my husband. Never, do you hear me?
You drank too much or you’ve been playing cards for too long.
I don’t care what you say, only that I know you are wrong.
Find your own way home, please. Good night. ”
“If you find him in the conservatory, then you must know I’m right!”
Waving a dismissive hand, she huffed and went off. Thomas was being nonsensical. He didn’t know Sebastian. No matter what anyone said, Isabel knew her husband cared for her. Maybe not in all the ways that she desired, but it was more than anyone else might.
I’ll show Thomas. Sebastian is trustworthy. I’ll go find him right now and prove it.