22. Addie
ADDIE
A ddie was done.
She wasn’t new to disappointment, to feeling like she wasn’t enough for someone. Her last relationship had done a number on her.
But she’d wanted Giselle to be different.
For weeks, Addie had allowed herself to feel like maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t just some game.
But today had made it clear that Giselle had kept her at a distance and hidden parts of herself Addie had thought she’d finally been let into.
And now here she was, feeling foolish for believing in someone else’s potential.
She leaned back against the seat, pressing her head against the cool glass window and crossing her arms tightly over her chest. Alex glanced at her through the rearview mirror with a questioning gaze, but Addie stayed quiet, looking anywhere but her reflection.
They drove in silence for several minutes. Addie’s eyes drifted to the passing streets, the smiling passersby seeming to mock her swirling thoughts.
Nothing could distract her from the ache in her chest.
Alex cleared her throat. “Rough day?”
Addie let out a heavy sigh. She hadn’t planned on talking, but Alex’s gentle question broke through her resolve.
“You could say that,” Addie said.
Alex’s gaze flicked back to the road. “Want to talk about it?”
Addie’s jaw tightened. “Not sure what good it would do.” She paused and glanced down at her hands. “But yeah, maybe.”
They passed a few blocks in silence before Addie spoke again. “I just thought I mattered to someone. That they saw me. That they wanted me. ”
Alex nodded, keeping her gaze on the road. “And they didn’t?”
Addie shook her head. “They kept me at arm’s length. Made me feel like I was important, but only on their terms. Like I’m just a distraction from whatever else is going on in their life.”
Alex listened, her hands steady on the wheel. “Sounds like they don’t know what they want.”
Addie looked away, her hands clenched into fists in her lap. “Maybe. Or maybe they do know what they want, and it’s not me.”
Alex’s expression softened, her gaze flickering to Addie in the rearview mirror. “Did you tell them what you wanted?”
Addie’s chest tightened. She’d thought Giselle understood her. But maybe that was her mistake—assuming that someone else would understand without her needing to say it out loud.
She pressed her lips together, refusing to let herself fall into that trap of blaming herself.
“I shouldn’t have to spell it out,” Addie said finally, her voice edged with frustration. “Shouldn’t she love me enough to know? ”
“Same way you could tell what they wanted?” Addie gave a small shrug. “Sometimes people can’t see what’s right in front of them unless you make it clear, even if it seems obvious to you.”
Addie’s jaw clenched as she considered that. She’d shown Giselle how much she cared, hadn’t she? She’d given her time and attention, and even let her guard down in ways she hadn’t in years.
But she hadn’t told her outright that she wanted more.
“Maybe,” she said, almost to herself. “Maybe I was waiting for her to make the first move, to show me she was ready to commit.”
Alex nodded thoughtfully. “So you waited for her to say what you wanted her to say, but she never did?”
Addie blinked, feeling a prick of irritation. “It’s not like that. I’m not asking for a grand gesture. Just honesty.”
“Sometimes people think they’re protecting you by keeping things unsaid. But maybe it’s just that they’re scared…scared of messing things up.”
Addie frowned, her mind going back to the look in Giselle’s eyes when her parents had shown up unannounced.
She’d looked defensive and tense, like she was bracing for impact.
Maybe she was scared, just like Addie had been, of admitting what she wanted.
But even that didn’t make the sting of today’s encounter any easier to bear.
“It shouldn’t be this hard,” she said. “I don’t want to feel like I’m constantly fighting just to feel close to her.”
Alex’s eyes met Addie’s in the mirror. “If you told her how you felt, do you think she’d listen?”
Addie hesitated. “I don’t know. Maybe.” She rubbed her hands against the seat, the feeling of the cold leather pressing into her palms grounding her. “But if she hasn’t figured it out by now, maybe it’s because she doesn’t want to.”
Alex sighed. “Or maybe it’s because you both keep holding back. You’re waiting for her, so maybe she’s waiting for you.”
Addie looked down, her heart pounding. “I can’t keep doing this, can I?” she murmured.
Alex said nothing for a long moment. “Only you know what you can and can’t do. But if you keep holding back, you’ll never know what could have been.”
Addie’s fingers dug into her palms. She knew Alex was right, as much as she hated to admit it. She’d spent so much of her life protecting herself that talking about her feelings out loud felt terrifying.
But she also knew that staying on the sidelines, watching as her feelings went unspoken and unreturned, was a torture she couldn’t bear.
Addie leaned back and closed her eyes. She could still see the image of Giselle in her mind, standing there with her arms crossed, a look of guarded strength on her face.
She wanted to believe that Giselle cared for her, that this wasn’t just a game or a fling. But trusting that, letting herself hope, felt like opening herself up to the possibility of another heartbreak.
“Maybe I just need to talk to her,” she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe I need to stop waiting.”
Alex nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Sounds like a good start.”
Addie met her gaze in the mirror, feeling a strange, hesitant warmth settle in her chest. “Thanks,” she said, her voice soft but steady.
Alex gave a small nod, her gaze warm. “Anytime.”
The school came into view as the car slowed. Addie leaned forward, her heart warming as she spotted Sophie standing near the gate with a big grin on her face. She was practically bouncing with excitement.
“Mommy!” Sophie’s voice rang out as she spotted the car. She sprinted over as soon as Addie opened the door, wrapping her arms around her mom’s legs.
“Hey, sweet pea!” Addie said, ruffling Sophie’s hair. “Missed you.”
“I missed you too, Mommy,” Sophie said, grinning up at her. Then she noticed Alex and her smile widened even more. She darted over to her, giving her a quick, enthusiastic hug. “Hi!”
“Hi, Sophie!” Alex said, laughing as she hugged her back. Her eyes were brighter than usual, a smile lingering on her face longer than Addie was used to seeing.
As they climbed back into the car, Addie glanced at Alex, curious. For as long as she’d known Alex, this was the happiest she’d ever seen her.
“Alex,” Addie called. “You seem…different today. What’s up?”
Alex held up her left hand, flashing a small, simple ring. “Just got engaged,” she said, her grin widening.
Addie gasped, reaching out to touch her hand. “You’re kidding! This is amazing!” Guilt creeped in as she realized she’d been so absorbed in her world that she hadn’t even noticed. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
Alex laughed. “It’s okay. You had a lot on your mind.”
“Still,” Addie said, looking back at the ring. “We have to celebrate this!”
They were silent for a few moments, only the soft murmur of the car engine filling the space. Then Addie had an idea.
“Come in with us when we get back. I have a bottle of wine I’ve been saving for a special occasion. This feels like a good one.”
Alex’s eyes lit up. “Really? Are you sure?”
“Of course,” Addie said. “And consider it my apology for being so wrapped up in my mess. ”
When they arrived back at Addie’s house, Sophie dashed inside, eager to wash up and show off some art project she’d made in class. Addie led the way to the kitchen, gesturing for Alex to sit as she grabbed the wine and two glasses from the cabinet.
As she poured, Addie leaned in, her curiosity getting the best of her. “So, who’s the lucky one? Anyone I know?”
Alex took a deep breath, her eyes sparkling. “Madeline.”
Addie’s eyebrows shot up. “Madeline? Dr. Madeline Summers, who works at the hospital with me?”
Alex laughed. “Yes, that Madeline.”
Addie tried to process it. Madeline was the same person who loved to tease her endlessly about Giselle, always making sly comments that left her flustered. Yet now, hearing this, she felt a bit of warmth spread through her.
“I’m surprised,” Addie said with a laugh. “She’s always giving me a hard time about Giselle.”
“Oh, she talks about you a lot,” Alex said, leaning forward with a mischievous smile. “Says she admires you. Quite a bit. ”
Addie blinked, taken aback. “Madeline? Really?”
“Yes. She’s always saying how driven you are.”
Addie shook her head. “She has a funny way of showing it.”
They each took a sip, and Addie set down her glass and glanced over at her. “Be honest with me. Did you know I was talking about Giselle the whole time in the car?”
Alex tilted her head, a hint of a smile playing at her lips. “Giselle?”
“Come on, don’t play coy with me,” Addie said.
Alex laughs. “You mean the beautiful new surgeon with an eye for no one else but you. The ice?—”
“Don’t call her that,” Addie said with a little laugh. “Madeline did tell you a lot.”
“She likes to talk about people at the hospital.”
“So you did know who I was talking about.”
Alex shrugged. “Well, I wasn’t sure then. But now I am.”
Addie let out a soft laugh. “Guess I made it kind of obvious.”
Alex leaned back, looking thoughtful. “So…any chance of a proposal happening with you two?”
Addie choked on her wine, her eyes widening as she sputtered, “Oh, no, nothing like that. Not even close.”
Alex raised an eyebrow. “If you say so.”
Addie shook her head, laughing. “I promise. Besides, it’s complicated.”
Alex glanced at her watch and set her glass down. “I should get going. Thank you for the wine, and for letting me celebrate with you.”
Addie got up and walked her to the door. A strange sense of calm settled over her. But as she watched Alex walk to her car, her thoughts drifted back to Giselle—to the warmth she felt whenever they were together, and the sharp ache of the distance that always seemed to linger between them.
“Take care!” Addie called as Alex got into her car.
She stood in the doorway for a moment, wondering how things might have been different if they hadn’t kept holding back. If she hadn’t held back .
But then Sophie’s voice called from her room, breaking the quiet. Addie closed the door, shrugging off the thoughts. She could move on.
She had to.