30. Jamie
jamie
. . .
W hen Ajay and I got married, he promised to take me to Disney World. It has always been my dream, so the fact that I’m walking into Disneyland with my daughter between me and my husband has my emotions soaring.
The clan is with us, including Dhara and Fletcher. It’s the only way I can describe this enormous family properly. There are so many of them and the only time I can tell Peyton and Elle apart is when they’re with their respective partners. Still, this is the family I’ve always wanted for Ajay and there is no way in hell I would ever take it away from him. I already know Evelyn’s comfortable with him, and he with her.
This morning, I snuck downstairs and found them eating breakfast together; she was sitting on the counter and he was standing next to her. She was feeding him a banana while he read the paper. I watched them for a bit, just being together. She would ask him a question, he would answer and ask her one right back. I don’t know how long they had been awake together getting to know each other this morning, but it warmed my heart to see and showed me that she and I can do this. My parents will miss us and that makes me sad, but it’s my choice to make and this is where I want to be.
I stop at the entrance and take it all in, fighting back a wave of emotions. I have been dreaming of this my whole life and it’s finally coming true. The people in our party are taking pictures, making the poor photographer work hard for his money. We each take turns posing and I already know my favorite is going to be the one of Ajay, Evelyn, and me. I don’t care if my eyes are closed or if she’s making a funny face… it’s our first family photo.
I’m squeezing the life out of Ajay’s hand as we walk out onto Main Street. My daughter is beside herself with excitement while I’m in awe.
“Have you been here before?”
“With Keane and Chandler. If I had known… I would’ve waited for you,” he says.
“It’s okay, we’re here together now.”
After two more rounds of photos, we finally make it to the castle where a cast member is holding a sign that reads “Ballard.” Ajay goes up to her and they speak for a moment. When he comes back, he’s grinning from ear-to-ear as he crouches down in front of Evelyn.
“Mickey and Minnie want to know if you’re ready to have breakfast with them?”
Her eyes widen as her hand covers her mouth. “But I already ate.”
“It’s okay, they won’t mind. Come on.” He reaches for her hand and we follow the cast member through the park and into a restaurant not far from the castle.
“Mommy!” Evelyn screeches my name. “Mommy, look!” She’s pointing to the Disney Princesses who are lined up along with almost every single character possible.
Ajay glances around, looking slightly confused. He says something to the cast member and then turns toward Harrison. “You did this?”
“We did,” Katelyn says. “We wanted her to have a special day.”
The tears I had been fighting back earlier waste no time flowing from my eyes. I have never been so grateful for someone’s generosity before in my life.
Chandler tells Evelyn to follow her, leading her over to the characters. Each one signs her autograph book and poses for a picture while I stand there, speechless.
“I really don’t know what to say.”
“Me neither,” Ajay says. “I only arranged for Mickey and Minnie, but the Jameses . . .” He trails off as he looks over his shoulder at them. They’re following the girls and making sure Evelyn is taking full advantage of this opportunity.
“They love you.”
“They’re amazing and they’re one of the reasons why I can’t leave, Whiskey. The love they show me, I’ve never had that before. I never knew what it was like to have someone care so much.”
“I care that much, Ajay.”
He looks at me, smiles and leans down to kiss me. “You should go be with Evelyn. Share this moment with her.”
I do as he suggests and catch up with my daughter who is giddy beyond belief. She’s telling each princess about her loose tooth and how Miss Katelyn has promised to tell the tooth fairy where she is in case she loses it while on vacation. Tomorrow, after the excitement has died down, I’m going to ask her what she thinks about living with Ajay. Honestly, it’ll be a moot point because she’s having such a good time, she’ll want to stay. But I still want her to know her opinion matters to me and I want to make sure she understands that it means she won’t see her grandparents every day. Broaching the subject with my parents will be difficult even though my mom is super supportive. It’s really my dad that I have to worry about.
After this massive meet and greet is done, Liam suggests that if people want to split up, they should and that we can meet up for lunch. Keane says that he’s going to hang with us because Chandler wants to stay with Evelyn, while everyone else seems to split off into groups.
“Daddy, can Evelyn and I go on the rides?” Chandler asks her dad.
“I think so,” he looks at me for approval.
“She’s only been on a few carnival rides. Can we start small?” I ask. Keane pulls out the map and shows us where we can find the smaller rides.
We go on everything from Alice in Wonderland to Autopia where Evelyn drives Ajay around the track. My favorite is the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blaster where Chandler and I successfully beat Ajay and Evelyn.
After lunch, Katelyn and Harrison ask if they can take Evelyn for a bit, giving Ajay and me a little privacy… well, as much as you can have while in one of the busiest parks in America.
Still we hold hands and walk slowly to rides, stopping along the way for more photos and ducking into gift shops to buy things for Evelyn.
“I still owe you a honeymoon,” he says as he gives me a spoonful of his frozen lemonade.
“I think this about covers it.”
“Not even close.” He shakes his head. “I want to take you on a real trip, just the two of us. Someplace romantic.” Ajay moves his chair so he’s closer to me. “I’m serious about us, Whiskey.”
“Are you serious about Evelyn?”
“Without a doubt. I am falling hard for that little girl and want to be her dad, Whiskey. I can be there for her and give her a damn good life, one that includes a Mom and a Dad. Especially a Dad who isn’t ashamed of her.”
“Parenting is a big step, Ajay.”
He smiles. “I was ready at eighteen. I know I’m ready now and can provide so much more than I could back then.”
I lean forward and press my lips to his. “I love you, Ajay.”
“I love you more, Whiskey. Stay here with me, let’s be a family.”
Later that night, Ajay and I are listening to Evelyn recount her day at Disney while dressed in her new Disney pajamas that Ajay picked out for her. Honestly, I think he bought her an entire gift shop with the amount of bags that were delivered.
Her story includes hand gestures, crazy facial expressions, and the most animated voices I have ever heard come out of her mouth. When she finally sits down, she lets out a very dramatic sigh.
“Mommy and Ajay, this was the best day of my whole life.”
“Wow, that’s pretty huge,” I say to her while trying to stifle my laughter.
“I’m tired. Can I go to bed?” she asks. Her question has Ajay and I moving rather quickly to appease her. It’s a cold day in hell when your five-year-old asks to go to bed early.
Upstairs, Ajay stands in the doorway while I tuck her in. “I want Ajay to tuck me in too.”
I look at him from over my shoulder and grin as he comes forward. He follows everything that I do and even leans down to give her a kiss.
“Mommy, is Ajay your boyfriend?”
I look at her for a long moment while I try to answer her question. Telling her that we are actually married will only confuse her.
“Hey, Evelyn, can I ask you a question?”
She shrugs. “Okay, Ajay.”
He sits on the end of her bed, sliding all the way until his back touches the wall. “I’ve known your mommy a very long time and I really love her. So, I’m wondering what you think about me asking your mom to marry me?”
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react, so I just stay still. It’s a pretty silly question since we’re already married.
“Do you love, Ajay, Mommy?”
“I do, angel. A whole lot.”
“Do you love Logan?”
I stiffen at her question and am afraid to look at Ajay. But it’s his voice that I hear answer her question.
“There are different types of love, Evelyn. We can love many people and have special places in our hearts for them. I love Miss Katelyn because she’s like a Mom to me. I love Miss Elle because she’s my boss. I love Miss Nola because she gave me a place to live when I needed it. Your mommy loves Logan because he was her friend for a really long time and now he’s protecting all of us, which means I love him too.”
“That’s silly,” she says, giggling.
“I know, but the love your mom and I feel for each other is different.”
“We want to be a family,” I tell her. “Ajay would like us to live here with him.”
“Hmm,” she shrugs. “I’ll think about it after I wake-up. I’m really tired right now.”
Shut down by the soon-to-be first grader, I give her another kiss and pull Ajay from her bed. He leaves the door slightly ajar and makes sure the hallway nightlight is on for her.
He follows me down the hall with his hands on my hips and his lips on my neck. I moan and he shushes me, telling me I have to be quiet until we get into the bedroom even though he’s making it near impossible for me to function. He, somehow, manages to turn the knob of the door and ushers us inside.
His hands are everywhere, removing my clothes followed by his, and then finally picking me up and carrying me to bed.
“I love you, Mrs. Ballard,” he tells me as his lips hover over mine. “Tell me you’ll marry me again.”
My hands cup his cheeks and I look deep into his eyes. “A thousand times over… I’ll marry you every day for the rest of my life.”
And I will, as long as Judge Harvey isn’t the one doing the honors.