Jamie
jamie
. . .
I think I’m going to miss being pregnant. I’m not going to miss the swollen feet, my weak bladder or my overheated body, but I’m going to miss the back rubs that Ajay randomly gives me. I’m going to miss the way his hands caress my stomach, the way he’s always aware of where I am in the room and how he knows exactly what I need.
My eyes are on him as he drives down the highway toward the beach. There’s an unearthly glow about him. Everyone says that mother’s glow when they’re pregnant, never mentioning the father, but as I look at Ajay, I see it. Impending fatherhood looks good on him, sexy even.
Since this morning, my back has been killing me. My mom said it was a sign of labor, however, at my doctor’s appointment earlier in the week, she said I was still closed. Even though it’s a heavy task, I hoist my feet up and set them on the glovebox. The relief is almost instant.
Ajay laughs. “Are you okay?”
“I’m good,” I tell him. Since we’ve gotten back together, I’ve tried to avoid using the word ‘fine’ when he asks how I’m doing. I read somewhere that the word is misleading to both parties and leaves your partner or significant other to think negatively. “Do you like my toes?” They wiggle, showing off their freshly painted pink color.
“I do.” Ajay reaches for my hand, bringing it to his lips. He holds my hand to this mouth for a long moment, which allows me to ogle my hot husband. Damn, how did I get so lucky? “Did Evelyn paint them for you?”
“I did, Daddy,” she yells from the backseat. “Mommy did my nails.” Ajay looks into the rearview mirror and smiles, leading me to believe she’s holding her hand up for him to see.
“I thought you were going to try and go with Dana this weekend?”
“She’s busy,” I tell him. “Said she had plans but would check in with me when she got back.”
“Back from where?”
I shrug. “Didn’t ask.”
“Do you know if she’s seeing someone?” Ajay asks, which I find odd. He’s not one to pry into people’s business, especially one of his bandmates. He’s said before that the media is intrusive enough so if they want him to know something, they’ll tell him.
“She hasn’t mentioned anything, why?”
Ajay sighs, “Elle hired someone to handle publicity, which reminds me of something I need to ask, but first,” he pauses, “Hendrix said some stuff about a media outlet post that reported Dana has a boyfriend and how a retraction needs to be issued. She became super quiet and they sort of had a standoff. Keane says he’s seen her around our area at the grocery store and says she’s seeing someone.”
“She hasn’t mentioned anything to me and before you even go there, no, I’m not going to ask her. If she wants me to know — which she may not because if she’s keeping it from Hendrix, she may not want you to know — she’ll tell me.”
“Yeah.”
“What’s this other thing you have to talk to me about?”
“Zoey, our new publicity person, asked if we want to sell the baby pics to People as some exclusive thing. She said they’d pay good money.”
I’m not even going to lie, I’ve seen those issues with the newborns on the covers and I’ve been jealous. Of course, I’ve wished that I was the mom on the front, being looked at adoringly by her husband, with their perfect little baby nestled in between them. But now that I can be, I’m not sure it’s a good idea. Is it an invasion of the baby’s privacy? Many celebrities these days hide their children from prying eyes, which I completely understand. Nothing irks me more than some photographer taking pictures of Evelyn. Of course, she loves it. She thinks it’s the best thing ever and even becomes upset if she’s not smiling for the camera. I’ve told her that she needs to look away, to pretend she can’t see them, but she thinks the attention is fun. Ajay says she’ll change her outlook once she’s older and they’re following her everywhere and documenting her every move.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks.
“The beach,” I say as it comes into view. “It’s beautiful.” Again, Ajay brings my hand to his lips and kisses me.
“Someday.”
“It doesn’t have to ever be, Ajay. Just knowing it’s here is enough.” Late at night, when he thinks I’m sleeping, he tells me his dreams. He wants to be like Quinn and own property along the ocean, but fears that Sinful Distraction won’t ever hit it big enough for him to afford a mansion by the sea. Every time he starts talking about it, I want to reassure him that we’re happy, that I love the house we live in, that my friends in the subdivision don’t give a rat’s ass about his job. But I know he lives with an underlying fear that he’ll never be good enough, and that’s thanks to his father walking out of his life. If Ajay could only see that Evelyn worships him, that I am so madly in love with him that sometimes it hurts, maybe he wouldn’t feel like he’s not the best for us.
We pull up along the front of Quinn and Nola’s. Parking is limited, but Quinn always puts cones out to keep the spaces in front of their house free so his guests can park there. According to Nola, this pisses everyone off, and it’s completely of out of character for Quinn to act this way, but I get it.
Nola’s at the passenger side door, opening it before I can even get my seatbelt off. We haven’t seen each other in almost a month because she went back to South Carolina to visit her family.
“Oh my?—”
“If you tell me that I’m as big as a house, or a whale, or anything remotely close to either of those, I’ll just agree with you so save your energy.” I offer her my hand so she can help me out of the car. I know Ajay will do it, in fact, he’s rushing around the front now to get me, but it’s nice having a friend close by who cares enough to want to help me. Dhara and Fletcher will be here in a few days, but Nola and I have become close.
“I would never,” she giggles. “Come on, I cut up some watermelon and Quinn’s moved a fan out to the patio for you. Oh, and my mom sent back tons of presents for the baby.”
“He’s going to need his own house,” Ajay adds before opening the back door to get Evelyn.
“I thought we were going to the beach?”
“You’re really trying to earn the title of beached whale, huh?” I laugh at Nola’s joke. If anyone else had said it, I’d probably punch them.
“Well my swimsuit is black and white,” I add, shrugging. Nola’s with me every step of the way, holding the gate to their very small side yard open so I can waddle through. Quinn peeks his head around the corner and smiles.
“Still pregnant?” he asks, smirking as he comes toward me. He over exaggerates how much arm space he needs in order to hug me.
“Still playing house without putting a ring on her finger?” I fire back him. Nola snorts and quickly ducks into their house.
“That’s a low blow, Ballard.”
“Just calling it like I see it, James.” I shrug and push past him. My stomach almost knocks him off balance. Before I step inside, I hear him say to Ajay, “Your wife knows how to hit me where it hurts.” I hope he’s referring to the fact that he hasn’t asked Nola to marry him yet.
Inside, Nola’s busy in their downstairs kitchen. For once, I’m happy that I don’t have to climb stairs. As soon as I sit down, Evelyn comes in.
“Miss Nola, may I use the restroom?”
“Of course, do you remember where it is?” Evelyn nods and runs down the hallway with her swimsuit in hand. “I have a feeling Quinn told her he’d take her surfing,” she says.
“I think you’re probably right, which means we’re taking our asses down to the beach to watch.”
She sighs. “It is a glorious thing to watch them, isn’t it?”
“It’s literally what dreams are made of.” Both of us seem to daze off into our day dreams, likely picturing our half naked guys standing in the surf. I shake my head to clear my thoughts just as Evelyn comes running out of the bathroom. She sets her clothes, which are folded as well as she could fold them, on the table and runs outside, hollering for Ajay and Quinn.
“I’m ready if you are,” Nola says, with a basket in her hand. “Quinn also set up the beach chairs down by the surf so we don’t have to carry anything.”
“He’s a keeper.”
“Believe me, he’s as moody as the rest of them. I don’t know what happened at practice earlier, but he came home muttering something about family and how closed off his sister is.”
“Really?” Ajay only mentioned the new person, Dana and Hendrix… oh and People wanting to buy my baby’s first pictures.
“Something I’ve learned while dating Quinn is that he and his sister don’t always see eye to eye.”
“Which one?”
“Elle.”
My mouth forms the ‘oh’ sound, but nothing comes out. She’s always been standoffish to me, but I chalked that up to her trying to protect Ajay and her investment in him.
“Quinn is closer to Peyton. Growing up, she was quiet and so was Quinn, so they gravitated toward each other — plus they were both close to Noah, so they were always together.”
“Their whole family seems perfect.” We cross the street and Nola motions for me to go down the stairs first. “You know it’s going to take a year for me to get down, right?”
“Will you stop complaining and just go? You’re having a baby!”
“Don’t be jealous,” I say, taking the first step.
“Honestly, I am.”
I don’t say anything until my feet are touching the sand. I kick off my flip flops and wonder if they’re really worth the effort of bending over to pick them up. Just when I’m about to donate them to whoever wants them, Nola scoops them up and starts walking toward our chairs.
“Do you and Quinn talk about kids?”
“Sometimes, but he knows I don’t want to be pregnant until we’re married.”
“You’re still young,” I point out.
Nola nods. “Growing up, I always thought I’d have one or two babies. When Quinn told me his sisters were twins, I was like, ‘Sweet, two babies at once!’ because twins tend to run on the male side, but nope… different parents and all that crap. And now when I look at Quinn and spend time with his family, I want like five or six kids.”
“You want your own band!” I laugh at my corny joke.
She looks at me and smiles. “I do. I want a big family. My sister is expanding her family. My cousins are starting to have babies. My brother,” she pauses and shakes her head. “Well he’s sowing oats so for all we know, he’s got offspring everywhere.”
“And then there’s Quinn.”
Nola nods. “I think I’m going to ask him to marry me.”
“Yeah?” I ask, surprised.
“Yeah,” she says, almost as if I’ve given her some confidence or that saying it out loud helped her make up her mind. “Why not? Women are changing the way things are done every day.”
“I think you…” I stop mid-sentence and my hand goes to my stomach as my son shows his pseudo aunt that he’s in full agreement with her idea.
“I’ll go get Ajay. Quinn and I will take Evelyn with us.”
“What?”
Nola points down. Beneath me, there’s a puddle of darkened, wet sand. “But I want to go to the beach.” My whiney voice falls on deaf ears. Nola is at the shore, waving her arms rapidly. Ajay must sense something’s up because he’s paddling in faster than I’ve ever seen.
“Well, you definitely know how to cause a commotion,” I say to my stomach. My baby boy must hear me because his foot kicks me so hard that I groan in agony.