14. Josie
josie
. . .
W hen I wake, my hand reaches for Liam, only to remember he and most of the crew decided to rent snowmobiles the day before and planned to leave early in the morning. Elle found a brochure for a diner, out in the middle of nowhere and only accessible by sled, dubbed the best breakfast in New England. She jokingly suggested they go, and the guys jumped on the idea. With Noah having to stay back, I decided I would stay with him. Besides, sometimes a mom just needs a little time with her baby boy.
I find Noah sitting in one of the oversized chairs with a mug of coffee resting on the table next to him. The fire is roaring, emitting so much heat we can easily walk around in pajama shorts or a pair of thin flannel pants. He doesn’t hear me walking behind him, which tells me he’s deep in thought. The closer I get to him I can see why. He’s holding Ollie, who is awake and looking wide-eyed at Noah.
“Good morning.” I ruffle his hair, much like I’ve done his entire life. “I see you found a friend.”
“Morning,” he says. “I woke up with Peyton and found Katelyn out here. She looked like she wanted to go with everyone, so I volunteered us to watch Oliver. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind.” I smile softly at my son and then head into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee and grab a muffin. “Do you want a muffin?” I holler out to Noah.
“Blueberry if there is one.”
I take two and set them each onto their own plate and into the microwave for thirty seconds. Once they’re done, I add a bit of butter, grab forks, and carry the small plates with one hand and my coffee in the other.
“I see all those years as a waitress are paying off,” he says as I head toward him. He reaches for a plate and fork and thanks me.
“You’re funny.” I sit down and curl my legs up underneath me and start picking at my breakfast. “I’m surprised Peyton went this morning.”
“It wasn’t without a lot of urging, that’s for sure.”
“Is everything okay?” For a while, I’ve had sinking suspicion that something is going on. I don’t want to prod into my son’s life, but I also don’t want him to suffer in silence.
“It’s not what you think.” Noah adjusts a sleeping Oliver so that he can eat his muffin. I offer to take the baby, but Noah refuses. “Peyton and I are solid, and there isn’t anything wrong outside of our marriage or with us working together, although the guys do like to give me shit because my wife gets paid to tell me when I suck.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t use those words.”
Noah laughs. “No, she doesn’t. Even when Peyton’s delivering bad news, she does it in such a positive way we don’t realize she’s telling us we’re horrible,” Noah pauses and takes a bite of his food and washes it down with coffee. “I’m on edge, and maybe she is too, because of me, due to some things going on with the guys. Julius’s wife wants a divorce and plans to take the kids back to Los Angeles, and Alex and his girlfriend broke up, which is messing with his head a bit.”
“You can’t shoulder everyone’s burden,” I tell him. “Your dad used to do that. He’d worry about Harrison or Jimmy, and then he’d start to second-guess himself. He feels like their happiness is his responsibility.”
“Yeah, I get it. Speaking of—” Noah looks at with his eyebrow cocked. “Nick and Aubrey?”
I nod slowly. “I didn’t see that one coming. Did you?”
“Definitely not. A little heads up would’ve been nice though. When I came down the escalator at the airport, I saw Peyton and then Mack. He was in my arms, crying before I could even move out of the way from the people behind me.”
“Nick wanted to tell you. It must’ve slipped his mind.”
“So, what’s the story? Mack only said that his mom is leaving.”
“Your dad knows more than I do, but the gist is, Aubrey wants to go back to South Africa and wants to take the kids but agreed to let Mack stay in Beaumont.”
“Wow,” Noah says with a shake of his head. “And then this guy.” He looks down at Ollie and smiles. “Peyton talked a mile a minute on the drive back on how excited she was for her parents and how it all seemed so perfect to welcome him into the family.”
I watch my son with Oliver for a long moment and wonder if I should ask him about what’s on my mind. Noah glances up and looks at me oddly.
“What?” he asks.
I shrug. “Just wondering.”
He shakes his head slowly. “I know it’s on your mind and Katelyn’s too, and it’s not that we don’t want to have children. We do. We’re not careful at all, but it just hasn’t happened. If it does, great. If not . . . well, I don’t know. We haven’t really explored other options, but the doctors have warned us that Peyton may not be able to get pregnant because of the accident. She has a considerable amount of scarring.”
My hand covers my mouth. I should’ve known there might be issues from the car accident. I think deep down I had hoped that things would’ve just been back to normal for Peyton over time. I didn’t want to think she and Noah wouldn’t be able to have children.
“Well,” I start to say before I become choked up. “When the time is right for the both of you, it’ll happen. Just know, you have a family around you for support, no matter what happens.”
“Thanks, Mom.” He looks down at Oliver and says, “Have you and Dad thought about adding to the family?”
I blanch. “Oh, no. Not gonna happen. Your sister is a handful, and I feel that once she graduates, your dad will suggest we move to California. I get the feeling he wants to be there and really focus on keeping the band relevant. Besides, I’m ready to be a grandma.”
Noah laughs. “But is Liam Page ready to be a grandfather?”
Now it’s my turn to chuckle. “I think there are days when yes he is. But then Betty Paige says something off the wall and scary, and he’s reminded that he has a teenager at home.”
“Scary?”
“Mostly about Mack and how much she loves him and so forth. She’s been very vocal about her feelings, which I’ve encouraged. Your father squirms though. He remembers what he was like at Mack’s age and doesn’t want to think . . . well you don’t need the details of your parents earlier years.”
Noah smirks. “You’re right.”
Oliver starts to fuss, and I instantly get up, but Noah stands and starts walking around the room with him. It takes a few minutes, but Ollie quiets down and snuggles into Noah’s neck. My son is a natural with Oliver and is going to make an amazing father someday.
Noah, Oliver, and I spend the rest of the morning and into the afternoon sitting by the fire and playing board games. It’s well after lunch when the front door opens, and multiple voices carry through the entryway. I get up and greet everyone and try to listen to what they have to say, but it’s near impossible.
“I take it you had a good time,” I say as Liam stops in front of me. He buries his cold face into the crook of my neck, making me squeal. I slap his chest and push him away. “You’re freezing. Go sit by the fire.”
Liam laughs and starts telling me about the ride, although I can’t really keep up because multiple conversations are going on simultaneously.
“Where’s Oliver?” Katelyn asks when she comes into the room. Her nose and cheeks are rosy red.
“He’s sleeping,” Noah tells her. I watch him as he moves toward Peyton. He reaches for her, not caring that she’s an icicle, and pulls her into his arms. There’s something about how they embrace, making me curious about whether Noah was truthful with me earlier. The way he’s holding her, it’s more like comfort. There is just something I can’t shake.
Katelyn and Harrison disappear toward their room while Elle lingers in the kitchen. Mack, Paige, and Eden are talking about going night skiing. And Jenna and Jimmy announce they need to warm up in the pool.
“The pool sounds like an excellent idea. Want to go?” Liam asks.
“Yeah, sure,” I say, but my eyes are still focused on Noah and Peyton.
“What are you doing?” Liam asks.
“What?” I look at him and shake my head.
“Whatever is going on, stop.”
“Nothing is going on,” I tell him, although I don’t even believe the words coming out of my mouth. I hate that I’m looking for any sign of trouble with him. It’s stupid, really. They’re like Liam and me, or Katelyn and Mason—in love with each other most of their lives. Only with Noah and Peyton, they had to wait until it was socially acceptable to date. Not to mention legal. The more I watch them, the more I realize how much they remind me of Liam and me and they love we share. It’s consuming. Almost like no one exists in our world. My parents hated it, as did his.
Liam drags me away from whatever scene I’m trying to develop in my mind and into our bedroom. He shuts the door and stalks toward me. I eye him with caution but also with desire. When he reaches me, his cold hands cup my face as his lips press against mine. “I missed you today,” he says when we part.
“I missed you too.” I tell him what Noah and I did all day, and how relaxing it was, and how Oliver is such a good baby. Liam talks about their ride and how cold it was, but the diner was worth the trip.
“How was Mack?” I ask, still worried about him.
“You know, he’s a good kid.”
“Your daughter loves him.”
He nods. “I know. They’re us. I can see it in the way they look at each other. They gravitate toward one another. It’s scary. I’m scared for them.”
“We just have to make sure they know the consequences of their actions.” I really can’t stomach the idea of Betty Paige having sex right now or even next year, and I don’t know what I’m going to do when or if she asks me how old I was when I lost my virginity—telling her to wait when I didn’t would make me look like a hypocrite.
Liam sits down on the bed and pats the spot next to him. I happily sit there. “The last couple of nights, Mack and I have stayed up and talked some. He tells me about life at home. The fighting between his parents. And how he spends most of his time in his room with his headphones on. He doesn’t want to move but also wants his mom and sister to stay in Beaumont. Mack’s torn between his parents right now and feels lost. He thanked me for letting him stay with us and promised he would follow all my rules. I trust him, JoJo. I really do. But what has me worried is that he wants to go to college to play ball. Either football or baseball.”
“That’s good, right?”
Liam nods. “It is, but I think back to when I went through all of that and chose a school based on Mason, and how I chose to follow what my father wanted and not what I wanted. I remember how miserable I was and how much I hated school. Most of all, I remember the night I walked out on you, left you there in your dorm room, pregnant and alone. I don’t want that for our daughter, and I’m not saying Mack will do that or Paige is going to end up pregnant at eighteen. All I’m saying is I see a lot of me in Mack, and it scares me.”
“Why does that scare you, Liam? You’re a good man. You didn’t know I was pregnant. I know deep down, if you had, you would’ve stayed.”
He smiles and kisses me. “I love you more than life, JoJo,” he whispers against my lips.
“I love you too. Now tell me, why are you scared?”
Liam pulls away and looks into my eyes. “I want Paige to live life to the fullest. I want her to follow her dreams, not Mack’s, or anything they create together. I want her to explore, travel, and find her passion before she settles down. I’m scared they’re heading in our direction. When I was Mack’s age, I cared about three things: football, Josie Preston, and having sex with her.”
I can’t help but blush even though the situation doesn’t call for it. “We can’t stop them from falling in love, but we can prepare them and encourage them to think for themselves. I think Mack has a good role model in Noah, and Paige does as well with the twins. And I think you overthink sometimes. We just gotta go with the flow, Mr. Page.”
Liam growls and tackles me onto the bed. “You know, I brought my Santa hat. Tonight, you can sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what you want for Christmas.”
“Deal,” I tell him. “But fair warning, I’ve been very, very naughty this year.” I wink and get up before Liam can do anything. I’m to the door when I hear him groan into the blankets.